Flashback

I felt like an idiot for sneaking around.

I was creeping around half naked, looking for the rest of the clothes and hoping not to wake anyone as I left.

I had my boots on and my skirt, no underwear. No bra. My shirt was probably by the stairs somewhere, since it was the first thing to go.

I paused for a bit, wondering where I put my keys. It wasn't in my skirt pocket. I fumbled around in the dark for a few seconds, feeling for them on the floor, until I remembered that I'd left them in the car.

I barely had time to pull them from the ignition before…well, before all this happened.

Shit.

A surge of panic and bile came up my throat as the room just seemed to close around me. Was this how it was for Dom?

Because I wish I was drunk.

I wish I was hung over.

I wish I had a headache to sleep this off.

I wish I didn't remember this.

I wish I had an excuse.

I wish I hadn't done this.

I wish…I wish this guy was Dom.

…And I wish I could puke my guts out, get rid of my guilt. But I don't have much time. I have to get home, right now. And I don't even know where I am.

I still have to find my way home…fuck, I still have to find my panties.

My hand encounters a flimsy scrap of cloth and I luck out. Panties. Ha. Now bra.

Fucking matching set. Pink. Silk. A gift from Dom.

Shit.

My eyes pick out a hint of bright pink in the dim light, coiled on top of a discarded pair of jeans like a fucking cobra.

A shitty ass reminder for your lying, cheating ass, courtesy of Victoria's Secret.

Damn. Home, Letty. Now.

I reach out for the offending piece of lingerie, the hook snagging on the jean and making the contents tumble out.

Shit, shit, shit!

My hands sweep on the floor, retrieving the fallen materials, as I look over my shoulder to see if I'd woken him up, but he was still out like a light.

I press on something hard and I automatically look down. Even in the faint lighting, I recognize that glint of gold, housed in leather polished to a spit shitting shine.

Oh fuck.

Present

Fuck. Just fuck.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Jim was asking, following Mia around as she led him and the boys out to the backyard

"Oh yeah, we were just thinking of having a barbecue anyway. I know It's hot, but believe me, by the time were done, it'll be a balmy evening, should be perfect out."

She flashes him a nice grin, which causes all three boys to glare. Brian is just standing there, too worried to react.

"Besides, any friend of Brian is welcome in our house" she tells him

Oh yeah, Mia. Like you couldn't remember what happened the last time we invited a cop over for a barbecue.

Of course, we didn't know he was a cop then.

At least by now, we all know that Jim is SWAT and that we hate him. That should cut through all the pleasantry crap and land him directly into the bullshit-a clear advantage.

"Yeah, I mean your already here man, so you can come stay" Vince was telling him "You can tell us all about yourself, how you became friends with Brian"

"And Letty" Dom cut in, handing him a Corona, making Brian smile

Mia notices this and pokes Brian in the ribs "What?"

"Jim's all Irish, he really only drinks Guinness."

Dom's eyebrows shot up "Is that so?"

Jim shakes his head and takes the proffered drink "Nah man, this is cool. Not quite the same grog but I've gotten a taste for it."

Brian slapped him in the back while Vince and Leon chugged down their drinks, laughing. And Dom…Dom just looked right at me.

"I'm going to take a shower" I mumble, then walked towards the house to make my escape

Flashback

A cop.

A fucking Metro cop.

Way to fucking go Letty. You're first time out and you get a fucking COP. That'll learn ya. That'll fucking learn ya.

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the tears running down my chin. Jesus, why the hell did I think that I could do this?

I was in the middle of putting on my shirt when a warm hand on my back almost made me jump.

"Hey"

I wiped the snot off my nose, wanting to regain some composure. "I gotta go."

His hand travels up my neck, and I can feel his thumb trailing underneath my ear.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just have to go home."

HOME. An hour from now, Mia will get up to take a shower, then review last nights night's notes before she starts breakfast. Dom will be down an hour later, followed by Leon. Vince will be up halfway through the morning, then haul ass to the garage somewhere around ten.

HOME. The place I should be driving back, except I can't escape the fingers digging into my neck, tracing the weary muscles, and gently kneading them out.

"Do you have to go?"

The way he said it…

I stood up and looked around for my belt, my watch…everything that I had. I couldn't leave anything here. Not after last night.

"I've got a busy day lined up. Work."

"It's a Saturday."

"I work from home."

I pulled on my belt, my watch, some bracelet I didn't even know I had nor did I have any idea just how it came off…

"Is this because I'm a cop?"

I couldn't help it, my hand stiffened. "No."

"I saw you looking at my badge" he said, sitting up "I'm off duty, I couldn't care less what the hell it is that you do."

"Which is why I should probably go."

I knew that he saw my car, and knew what he was probably thinking. I also know that he's not going to report me, because he trusts me.

And it's the fact that I know all these that forces me to leave.

I'm half-way out the door when he calls for me to wait.

For some shitty ass reason, I turn around, and for the first time, find myself looking directly to his face.

"What?"

"What's your name?"

Present

"Letty?"

I look up and find Dom looking at me through the bathroom mirror.

I've just taken a shower—a long, hot one, more to hide than for luxury. The windows are fogged up, and all I have on is a towel, but for the first time Dom bypasses all the other parts in favor of my face.

He's looking at me like he doesn't know me. As if the Letty he knew was missing and he somehow got left with a clone.

In a way, it's true.

Things haven't been the same between us since Mexico, I haven't been the same.

I've been thinking more. For so long, the only thing I thought about was hooking up with Dom and clearing our names, getting back to our old lives.

But as soon as we stepped back in the house, we realized that Jesse was gone and that things would never be the same again.

"I thought he was Brian's friend?"

I snapped out of my daze and met his eyes through the mirror. They looked angry. Hurt. Suspicious.

Typical Dom.

"He is." I answer, stepping out of the bathroom and drying my hair "It's just that I happen to know him too."

I walked over to the closet pretending to dig out something to wear, a maneuver that Dom immediately noticed.

"How long have you known him?"

"Dom--"

His hand closed around my elbow and he spun me around to face him.

"How long have you known him?!" he yelled

"Three years" I answered

For a moment there he didn't say anything, but I saw his eyes turn into a deep coal black, and his mouth set, grim.

I knew what he was thinking. Three fucking years.

I blinked, and just as suddenly the bedside lamp is knocked down and he's on the other side of the room, pacing.

"Jesus Let, he's a cop!"

"Believe me, I know."

Shit, that didn't come out right.

He stopped pacing and looked at me as I pulled a shirt over my head.

"Letty…"

I finished dressing and just stood there, watching Dom watch me, grappling with this sudden reality.

Like I said, I can never lie to Dom, ever. With us, the truth always comes out. Always. No matter how much it would hurt us, there's nothing that the two of us can hide from each other. Nothing.

"Do you love him?"

That's right Dom, cut to the chase.

He never was the type to mix with words, his eyes are searching, hopeful.

"No."

"Letty" he asks again, needing to hear this, wanting to hear this "Do you love him."

"No, Dom." I told him, speaking the truth "I love you."

That's the answer, always was. I love Dom.

Dom sighs, his body deflating as he releases a breath that I didn't know he was holding. Somehow I'm flattered by that breathe of relief.

"Barbecue's probably starting down stairs" I told him "We should probably go."

He simply nods, but doesn't bother moving. I head out to give him some time alone, hopefully to cool his head so that he doesn't hit Jim when he sees him again.

I don't even make it out when the next question comes in.

"Did you love him?"

That made me stop.

Fuck, did I ever love him? In those three years, who was Jim Street in my life?

"Let?"

I took a deep breath and told him the only answer I knew.

"I don't know."