Title: Upon the Silver Moon
Author: Cammy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: On the moon before her death, Jean has some final thoughts.
Disclaimer: Quite obviously these characters do not belong to me. You would have to be the biggest idiot on the planet to think that.
Author's Note: Review if you liked and review if you didn't. I changed a few things so that they fit the story better but that's all. You probably need to know the comic verse to understand a couple things but that's really it... And it's only a few things.
We've come so far, you and me Slim. So very far, and yet our love for each other has never been broken. And I'm about to break this great love of ours. The irony of this is not escaping me either. I don't want to do this but it's the only way.
Will you hate me, I wonder, when all this is over? Will you curse my name? Or will you love me until the world's ending?
The world's ending.
Funny thing for the Destroyer of Worlds to think.
What have I become my love? A murderess? That was never me but it is now. God, I can still hear their screams! Billions upon billions of people dead at my hands! Mine! Not even Magneto or Apocalypse has as much blood on their hands as I do!
The me in highschool would have laughed if someone told her that what awaited her in the future was the fate of a murderess, that she was going to become the worst enemy her friends had ever and will ever face, and that she was going to become a god.
Standing here now though.. it doesn't seem very funny.
I used to be the perfect little good girl you know? People loved to hate me but they secretly admired me and I'd be lying if I said that didn't use to give me an ego-boost. But where is that Princess now huh? Oh yeah, she's on the moon, fighting for her life, though secretly she's planning to kill herself so that she doesn't wipe out any more damn planets!
I'm so scared, no I'm terrified. What does Hell feel like? Cause Hell is where all the murderers go and hey, guess what I am?
God this sounds like a bad B-Movie plot; Highschool cheerleader turned Murderess of Billions!
Stop looking at me like that Slim.
Like there's another way. There isn't, not fore me. Not for us.
My parents and sister.. They were scared of me.
Who's there?
Would you believe the Wicked Witch of the West?
Jean! This is fantastic! My goodness girl, we haven't heard from you in weeks. Why didn't you write or call?! Elaine! Sarah! Come downstairs! Look who's here!
I could sense it. Underneath all that joy that I had come to visit them was fear. Fear of me. Bet I looked really scary in my Dark Phoenix outfit and just arriving after destroying planets.
They're all scared of me. Kitty, Rogue, Kurt, Logan, Ororo, Bobby, Hank, Piotr.. all of them.
Except for you Slim.
Never you.
Oh sure, fear for me but never of me.
Thank you for that.
I'm not even twenty-one years old and I'm going to die. There was a time when I thought twenty was old but thinking about all the years you are going to face without me.. It's not long enough.
I never should have even been here. Oh I don't regret fighting for this dream but sometimes I would have liked to have been normal.
After all a normal girl would never have been in my place.
I wonder what Taryn and all my ex-friends are doing right now..
I wonder what they'll be doing when I die.
It's bubbling up inside of me again. I can feel it. The urge to lay waste to everything around me. The urge to destroy life, to crush these ignorant fools' heads beneath my boots. I think, no I know, that the highschool me would have been afraid and disgusted by these feelings.
But not me.
I've already given into them once haven't I?
I crave these feelings. I want so badly to give into them once more.
Does that make me an even worse person I wonder?
It most likely does.
Oh well, no one is perfect.
Hey look, I made a joke.
Get it? Princess Perfect Jean just said that no one is perfect!
I'm pathetic. I making jokes that aren't even funny in my own head.
Actually the laughter in my head is sounding a little hysterical.
Huh... should have known they wouldn't agree to kill me.. But I was kinda hoping that Rogue or Logan would do it but I guess..
I guess I'll just have to do it myself.
I've been planning this after all.
I knew it would come to this.
Everyone else.. they were blinded by hope.
But what hope do I have when all I can see is the hell that awaits me?
Oh but I can still see love.
If I could I would hope for your sake but I can't Slim. I just can't.
It's funny in a way.
"I love you Scott."
I could have been a god but
"A part of me will always be with you."
for the sake of love I'll die human.
"JEAN! NOO!"