Did I love him?

I asked myself that once. We were at some Dairy Queen, because Jim thought that having ice cream would be the best way to end a date.

When he asked me what flavor I preferred, I told him that whatever he got was fine. The night had been so great that I knew anything he did was going to be perfect.

The last time Dom and I went out for ice cream, I was 18. He took me to a local Malt Shoppe and got me two large fudge sundaes. No cherry, no nuts, no whipped cream, extra fudge, a dribble of caramel, and an extra scoop of chocolate ice cream and a wafer.

Mia and I had been going there since we were kids, it was our place when the two of us wanted to hang out, just us girls. That was the first time that I'd been there with Dom, and he ordered the very same thing I'd been getting since I was eight.

Jim got me large Mud Pie, and thought it was great, I realized then that I couldn't imagine my life without Dom.

Still can't.

I could be ordering a meal, and I'd be rememering his choices while I made mine. I'd be listening to some tunes and I'd automatically think if this was something he would like.

I'd been with him for such a long time, that he was a part of me, in a way that Jim could never be.

I stayed in that Dairy Queen for the rest of the night, and later went home with Jim. And we went back on other nights, and went to other places, and they were all great.

But it was that night that I asked myself, did I love Jim?

I couldn't imagine my life without Dom. But there I was, at four in the morning, watching as Jim sleepily waved me off for my long drive home, hating the fact that I had to leave.

So did I love him?

I didn't know, I still don't know, but I knew back then that I couldn't let him go.

Present

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Mia and I were in the kitchen, preparing the food for the barbecue while the boys did their thing outside. Shoot hoops, talk cars, talk shit. So long as they didn't kill each other I really didn't give a damn.

"Nothing's wrong, just here to help with the food."

"Okay" she said, then went back to chopping vegetables for the salad before she turned again

"You know, in all these years, I can count in one hand all the times you helped me prepare a meal. And before right now, none of those times were in the past five years."

She dropped the knife and went to where I was preparing the chicken. It wasn't the usual stuff that I did, but I felt like it was something I had to do.

"Was Jim the reason why Brian found us in Mexico?"

I didn't speak and she just sat up in the counter and sighed.

"When I asked Brian how he managed to track us...he said that he had a little help...from a friend."

I looked up, surprised. But Mia just smiled.

"We talk. After what happened, we tell each other everything...except maybe this. He said that it wasn't in his place to explain why, that this really wasn't his story to share."

She reached out, tugged my hair, something she used to do when we were kids.

"We're still friends, Let."

"I know that Mia."

"No, you don't." she smiled sadly

"We used to be able to tell each other everything. I know you Letty, you were my best friend even before you were Dom's."

She sighed, looking out. "Funny, isn't it? Now we have these boys, and somehow they've taken over everything. You were suddenly with Dom, and I had school, and now I have Brian..."

She paused and kind of chewed her lip.

"I know that you and Dom are going through a difficult time right now--"

"Mia--"

"No, let me finish" she cut in "But I also know that you two can overcome whatever it is that heads your way...if you wanted to."

"I've never seen Dom like this. When he went down those stairs...it was like Jesse dying all over again. And yet he went right out trying to pretend that nothing happened."

She was close to tears now, and I sighed and slumped down the kitchen chair.

"The past year has been hard on all of us, and maybe even harder for you on those six months that you were alone. You were feeling vulnerable, and being with Jim--"

"Mia stop!" I yelled "Jim...it was a lot more than that."

I watched as she slid down the counter and sat herself in front of me in one of the chairs. She looked worried, but at least she seemed prepared to listen.

"I was the reason why Brian was able to track you guys in Mexico. I told him where you were. Jim...Jim was the person who brought me there, and went back to help clear our names."

"What?!"

"I met Jim three years ago. We were...friends." I started "After the accident, the LAPD placed an APB on us. I told Leon to spring Vince out of the hospital, and by the time we got him, they'd put an alert on the border. Yellow Skyline, three people, two Caucasian males, one Hispanic female. Both male and female are injured. Sent pictures of us too."

"We knew we couldn't travel together, and with the two of us injured, I knew we couldn't sneak around and have Leon take care of us both. I told Leon that we should split up. And since Vince was worse off, I told him to take Vince instead of me."

"Jesus, Letty" she gasped, shocked

"I told him that I would be fine, that I would find a way to get to you guys as soon as things were okay. To not tell Dom anything, because I knew he would worry. They dropped me off a motel before heading off to Mexico."

"I had three broken ribs and a punctured lung, I knew I wouldn't survive if I didn't get any help."

"So you called Jim" she finished "You called a SWAT officer to come help you out after you just committed a crime. Only you Letty."

"Yeah" I managed to smile "Only Letty."

"What did Jim say?"

"He was surprised. We hadn't talked for close to a two years, he didn't think he'd ever hear from me. I met him when he was still in Metro. I quit seeing him as soon as he qualified for SWAT training. We kept in touch, but as soon as Dom started planning the heist and we began preparing for that, I cut it all off. Things were different then, and I didn't see the point in taking things further."

"I see." she said "You went out with a guy for a year, and we didn't even notice it. And here I was saying how much I knew you...Who are you Letty? All of a sudden...it feels like I don't know you anymore."

She wasn't angry. But she wasn't happy either. Mia hates confrontations, and I think she hasn't decided yet on what she should feel.

"Just out of curiosity, how did the two of you meet?"

I almost laughed.

"Would you believe that we met at a bar?"

Flashback

"Leticia Rodriguez."

The voice in my ear nearly made me fall from the stool. I turned to my side and glared.

"That's your name isn't it, Leticia Rodriguez? Letty?" he smiled, sliding in beside me

And like clockwork, he held out his hand and a beer slid down from the counter. F-U-fucking Cheers, I'm telling you!

"Can't you fucking Metro cops take a hint?" I seethed

"No" he replied "Besides, you know my name"

"I didn't ask for your name, you just told me."

"And when you didn't give me yours, I just found it out" he smiled "Perks of the job"

"You know when a girl ditches you at four in the morning without leaving her name and phone number, it usually means it's a one night stand."

"Oooohhh, was it that bad? I couldn't have been that bad." he joked "Because if I were, you wouldn't be in this bar a week later looking for me."

"What makes you think I'm here for you?"

"Because I happen to know that racers hang out at the other side of town, where there's considerably more noise pollution."

I slapped some money on the counter and got up leave. I'd already caused enough shit by coming back here, and any idiot would know that seeing him again was be a bad idea.

But I was a young idiot back then. Picking a fight with Dom so that I could run off, hoping to see some stranger.

His hand on my wrist pulled me back to the present and to reality, and when I looked up I could see in his eyes that he was serious.

"I meant it when I said that I wouldn't turn you in. But if you came all the way here in a hot car, there should be some reason."

"Maybe I wanted a different atmosphere"

"And here I am, Letty" he answered "Here I am."

I sank back down on the stool. Stupid, fucking idiot. The girl who thought she pull one on Dom, who thought she could get to him using his own frigging medicine.

"We don't need to do anything. I just...I came here to talk." he said "I don't usually hang out here, only when I'm trying to get away from work and the crowd at O'Malley's. But I drove by every night hoping you'd come back, because I know that after what happened there was no way you wouldn't be here."

"You fucking flatter yourself too much, you know that Street?"

He grinned "It's just part of my charm."

So that was the start.

That one night, one week after I cheated on Dom and somehow managed to turn my already complicated life upside down.

Maybe I should have asked for pointers before I decided to have my so called revenge. Maybe then, the guys would have told me to leave as soon as we were doneand not stayed when he kissed my head and pulled me to his chest.

To tell him to shut the fuck up when he started talking about his life, and everything that made him happy and miserable. If I'd had some sort of warning, maybe I wouldn't have listened.

And maybe I wouldn't have said anything back. Told him all about myself, what made my life misrable...what made me happy.

Maybe none of this would have ever happened, and I wouldn't be in this mess.

But if that happened, then maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't be here with Dom.