Whitcomb Got Ran Over By A Prophet
Chorus:
Whitcomb got ran over by a Prophet,
Flying home from Cairo Station Christmas Eve,
You can say Prophets are pathetic,
But as for me and Johnson we agree.
He'd been drinkin' too much whisky,
And we begged him not to fly,
But he'd forgot his med-pack,
So he stumbled out the lock and through deep space.
When we found him Christmas morning,
At the scene of the attack,
Fancy headdress all about,
And levitation ring holding his body.
Chorus
Now, we're all so proud of Cap' Keyes,
As we all know they were gay,
See him in there watching Spaceballs,
Drinking beer and playing cards with Master Chief.
It's not Christmas without Whitcomb,
All the crew is dressed in black,
And we just can't help but ponder,
Should we open his gifts or fly them back?
Chorus
Now the grunt is on the table,
And the pudding made of leet',
And the blue and silver candles
That would have just matched the hair in Whitcomb's wig.
I warned all my fellow green Spartans,
Better watch out for yourselves!
They should never give a license
To an alien that wants to conquer Man.
Chorus
Repeat Chorus and fade away.