I was a little over seventeen when I started going out with Dom.
He'd just turned 22 and had recently gotten out of Lompoc.
Sometimes I think that his screwing around was a way to make up for those two years, and that he'd hooked up with me because I was the first girl who'd ever told him I loved him. It certainly didn't take long for him to get bored.
The last time Dom and I talked was the last time he took me to a real date.
Not to a shitty party with half the people from the races, not to "dinner" that just happened to include the team, and not to a stupid rented movie at home where it was just the two of us.
It was a few months before my twentieth birthday. He took me to this restaurant, some Moroccan place where we had to sit on the floor with pillows. We had a killer time. Nearly got one of everything in the menu, just to see what it tasted like.
Later on we drove to the beach, parked and just...talked.
He asked me things that I wanted to do, I asked him about what he wanted in the future. Things he wanted to achieve. Of course, we also talked about cars, and Mia, and the team.
It was just...us. Being together. And it felt great, connecting with him like that. Because Dom...I don't know. Dom has always been the center of my universe, ever since I was little. And when he finally noticed me, when he finally looked at me like that, like I was the center of his universe, it was just the greatest thing. It's like love on NOS and never slowing down.
But it does slow down.
The following day, I found him in some bitches car, her legs wrapped on his shoulders and having a fun time courtesy of my boyfriend.
I knew he was cheating on me, but I'd never caught him. At least, I never let him know that I did. Something in me snapped that night. I think I broke the bitches nose, though I did more damage to her pride.
After that, the dates slowed down and just...stopped. The talking stopped because we were afraid that some other things might be brought up besides hopes and dreams, and neither of us felt the need to be that fucking honest.
It wasn't until much later, after Jim, that we found that need to connect again.
But until then, it was with Jim that I did most of the talking. And it was Jim who took the time to listen.
Present Time
When we went out, I found the two boys manning the grill, with Brian, Dom, and Jim nowhere to be found.
I had this image of Dom having killed Jim and Brian helping him hide the body, when the boys took one look at my face and decided to reassure me.
"Dom went out for some chips and more beer. Brian's showing Jim his car. Says Jim's been wanting to take a look at his ride for a long time."
I nodded at Leon and headed out for the garage.
It took me fifteen minutes on foot, but who the hell cares. Whatever it was that they were talking about, it had to be pretty important for them to leave. And since Jim doesn't really care all that much about cars, I knew that they wouldn't be talking about the Supra, and they sure as hell wouldn't talk about it in front of me.
True enough, the doors and most of the lights of the garage were closed when I got there. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dark before I noticed that the light to the stores back office was open.
If you know where to stand and how to sneak in, it's easy to stay there undetected. And since Brian didn't make a show of keeping his opinion all to his mighty self, I heard everything that I needed to know.
Brian was glaring at Jim, looking all for the world like he was going to bust his guts, while Jim stood there, looking every bit defensive.
"This is my family now. Mia, Dom, Letty..." Brian was telling him "But you're also my friend, and I don't want anyone to get hurt."
"Look man, I'm not here to cause any trouble."
"Yeah, you're just here for Letty" he smacked back "Leave her Jim, even if you get through Letty, you'll never get past Dom"
"Fuck, what is it with Dom, and why is everyone so fucking afraid of him! Time and again I've watched Letty be miserable because of everything he's done to her."
"And notice that she never leaves" Brian finished "And she never will."
If Jim was hurt by that statement, he never showed it.
"I didn't come here to steal Letty, I came here to talk."
"Talk about what? I thought everything you needed to say was done in that three day drive to Baja"
"And after everything we'd been through, do you really think it would just take us three days to sort it out?"
There was this long pause, and for a minute the two of them just stood there, staring each other down.
But Brian decided to blink first "What do you want Jim?"
"I'd like some closure. I'm sure you of all people know what that is?"
Brian narrowed his eyes "What about Letty? Didn't you ever consider what this could do to her? She's still adjusting to her life, don't you think you could have brought on all this bullshit about closure a little later?"
"No" he argued "It has to be now."
"You know she's vulnerable. What if she decides to go with you?"
Another pause and this time its Jim who caves "You said it yourself, she'll never leave Dom."
"But in case she does?"
I couldn't see his face, and would've moved in closer if I didn't hear that scruffing behind me. But even still, Jim's voice rang clear in the darkened space.
"If she does...she knows how I feel. We'll just cross that bridge when we get there."
Flashback
The first thing I hear is a loud groan and a rustle of sheets.
"Ugh, we have to do something about these mornings."
I just grinned as I reach down to double lace my boots. "Good morning"
A few seconds of stretching, then a warm hand on my back, caressing.
"Good morning" he greets me in this sleepy, rough hewn voice "And I mean it. My new partner is not liking this grumpy ass person that he has to work with."
"Whine, whine, whine" I mutter, pulling my shirt over my head "At least now you're early."
Another groan. "Way too early. Four am."
"You can go back to sleep, you know. I was trying not to wake you."
He rolled over and smiled. "And miss waking up to this? Not a chance."
I feel like reaching over and hugging him, but I smack him on the shoulder instead.
I've never been very good with "sweet". Mia is sweet. Leon, when you get down to it, is sweet. Even Vince, after he's showered, can be sweet.
Dom and I...we're thoughtful, but never sweet. Fuck sweet. When one of us does something nice, and it comes out as mushy, we say thank you and leave.
I don't know why. Maybe because I could never find the words? Because it's embarrassing? I don't know. Something about romantic shit makes me nervous.
But Jim does it so well...it's gotta be unnerving. I mean, it's just the way he is.
I'm still trying to find a way to deal with it. It's just...it's something new. Usually I just ignore it, though most times I hit him. A smack in the arm.
And he'll just smile when I do it, because he knows that's my way of saying thanks.
"Anyway" he says, getting up "I've got Thursday and Friday off next week, so if you can--"
"I can't" I finished "Race Wars starts that weekend. We leave for the desert Thursday night."
He's disappointed, but that's just how it is.
"I'll try and call you. Things can get pretty crazy, so it shouldn't be too hard to get away." I told him "Though for the sake of your social life, don't just sit here by the phone waiting for my call"
I get a pillow on the head for that. He misses. Jim's not too good in the morning, though his attitude is better than mine.
The moment I get home I know I'll just crash and sleep and everyone at home will just think that I've been to some other shitty-ass party.
End: the other life of Ma. Leticia Rodriguez.
That's how we do it. Have "other lives". And by not discussing our "other lives", we keep things from getting too complicated.
Like, Jim for me is this off-duty cop I met at the bar. He hates mornings, takes his coffee black. French Roast. Very picky with that. Kind of cocky but otherwise acceptable. Likes action movies, but what guy doesn't?
And Letty for him is this girl he met at the bar who likes Cororna's.
She works at a garage. She's funny. She doesn't drink coffee, and once in a while, she will admit to liking a chick-flick. Romantic comedies, but he'll have to fucking die before anybody else finds out.
And the life of Jim and Letty revolve around late night meetings on Jim's day's off, or when Letty can get away from the garage. They spend it doing other things, most of which are things that "Letty" will never do in her "other life", like movie dates or go to the San Diego Zoo. Which is fine with "Jim", because Jim's "other life" is usually just working out, going out drinking with the guys, and being a cop.
It's not easy, but keeping things separate works.
We know other things. He's heard of Dom, of my life at home. He knows I race. He doesn't like it, he's against it, but since it's not his Letty that does it, it's fine.
I know his partners name, his beat. Who his parents are. What makes him sad. I know he's applying for SWAT. I know I know his precinct has cuffed a few racers, but I don't care because that's not the Jim in my time.
And we never talk about it. Our other lives. It's nuts, it's schizophrenic, but it does an important thing: it keeps us from getting caught.
Present Time
"Letty?" someone whispers
The hand on my shoulder keeps me from jumping, and I swallow down my scream.
Dom.
F-U-fucking shit, it's just Dom.
I turn around to glare at him for nearly giving me a heart attack, but he ignores it and just clamps down on my arm, motioning for me to follow him out.
I don't really want to. And from the looks of things, Jim and Brian haven't noticed us standing there. They've stopped yelling, but it's clear that things are far from resolved.
I want to hear more of it, but Dom keeps tugging on my arm.
"We have to go" he whispers "They'll have to leave soon, and we don't want them to see us."
Finally, I just nod.
We walk back to Mazda, which is parked a few meters down from the garage.
Dom doesn't say anything, and neither do I when I get in. He starts the car, but after a few blocks I notice that we aren't heading home.
The silence stretches out, and I wait for him to say something. He's got the wheel, he's driving.
But after ten minutes we're still nowhere near home, and he still hasn't said anything.
He's thinking though, real hard. I don't even think he sees where he's going, he's just driving, doing things by rote. Most of the streets are deserted, but at this rate he's an accident waiting to happen.
He must have realized this because after another block he pulls over next to a vacant lot.
We're at the middle of town, the wasteland. That small strip where the ghetto turns into nothing and off to the middle class suburbs that line the backs of Hollywood.
We're pretty far from home.
And sitting there, just the two of us, with the engines off and just the heat turned on, sirens in the background, we can feel the quarter mile that often sets us apart.
"Mia told me to come look for you"
Ah, at last. A start.
I just nod. "Okay."
"She said you were worried about Jim, and that you followed them out to the garage."
"Just wanted to see what they were talking about."
He gave a chuff "I guess it wasn't about the Supra"
"Nah, Jim's not into cars. Guy can barely remember when to give his car a tune up."
I think this surprises him. "What kind of car he drive?"
"Mustang, 70's, convert. Ugly Turquoise color. It was his dad's."
The last statement makes him wince. More silence again, though this time I spoke first.
"Speak Dom, say something. Otherwise let's just go home. I'm hungry and I'm sure Mia's ready with the grub."
"Letty, I..." his voice wavers, and he takes a minute to recover.
I wait for him, watch this Dom, the new Dom, who went through a year of hell after Jessie's death. Who's grown up. Who now knows more than he ever needed to know about me.
I needed to hear this Dom's thoughts.
"Let..." he starts again "I'm angry. I'm fucking angry. Though after everything I've done, I know I don't have the right to be."
"No, you do." I answered "I cheated on you Dom, you have every right to wanna kill me."
I think it scares him that I can be so calm. But the thing is, I've been living with this for the past three years. A long time.
And even though I would've done anything to prevent him from knowing, I can't help but feel liberated now that it's out.
"You've screwed around, doesn't make what I did right, though." I sigh "But I didn't do it just to get you back."
"I know" he answers, looking at me with those pained dark eyes "And that's what scares me."
Author's Notes: I'd just like to say thanks to the three people who've kept on reviewing me, and the six others who have me on alert. I didn't think anyone would ever read a crossover, but you guys took a risk! Thanks! And to maile, I usually update every 7-9 days. I used to do it by reviews (i.e. my other fic) just to get reader direction, but with a story such as this one, where the story is done and I just have to write it down, it's more 2-3. Though we're still far from the end.