Omgooses! Tis… no that's not right… T'has been an exciting time! cackles evilly

Before I get started would like to say to dodgy hoboit Loppy: What was with that last chapter?! No one wants to read soppy crap about you stroking some wanna-be Barbie wenchburger's hair whilst she spews all over the furniture! What were you thinking boi?!

Anyway, moving on etc.

Did I ever mention how self is SOOO bad? Seem to recall something about it… oh well you might need reminding. AM SOOO BAD. Self's evil plot of evilness has been complete success! Only one minor technicality… am currently hiding in a broom closet fearing for life. Of course this was hardly self's fault. Is clearly a product of Never-Floppy-Loppy overreacting as per usual!

Back on with the evil nifty p'tanging plan of evilness!

Self managed to fool that spastic pelican on crack (Loppy) into accepting self's apology, have to say cannot blame him, as am a B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T actor. In daylight we were back being friends but at night I would sneak into my secret and new den of evilness (Behind the curtains in the common room)

And plot sweet sweet revenge! First idea was to put a special potion in his shampoo thus giving him lots of split ends! Muwhahaha! Lightning Crackles

Second idea was to sneak into his room at night and apply hot wax to most of his body! Muwhaha! Lightning Crackles Both ideas seemed rather… lacking and both strangely would result in hair removal… this was just not good enough! Actually thought for a mo that self was losing self's tang! Loud gasp!! Then it came to me! Medusa Parkinson! Self has seen how that smoldering temptress hairy eyeballs Lops, and how Lops gets all… weirded out around her. Plus feel need to get back at Lizzie for not helping me in potions class! Stupid flibberty jibert of a toad invested… nipple! Takes calming breath

Now self had the pawns and the motive… now just needed a plan. Hmm… Thought I would like this plan to include a rapid tortoise and a piece of dental floss…Hmm… no… Then it came to me! Self would give Medusa the password for Gryffindor Tower! Self knew she has been trying to get Lops alone to… play… games…etc so knew she would leap at this chance! Next we met up to discuss our sneaky uber plot of genius tangy jam.

Together we created something evil!! Did that sound suggestive? It was kinda meant to but don't think it worked… Oh well. Medusa brewed a special nauseating potion to put in Lizzie's food, enough to keep her stuck in the hospital wing for a few days. I leant her my cloak to accomplish the first step. With Lizzie out of the way, Seducer... I mean Medusa! Was free to do the funky tree-kangaroo with Lupie. But that alone wouldn't be enough, Meddie (She lets me call her Meddie! squeals) brewed some of that potion with the really long boring unnifty name… you know the one that turns you into another person? Self's cloak came in handy once again as self went on a secret evil quest to retrieve some of Lizzie's hair. Surprisingly it was hard to find, in the end managed to pluck a few strands from Lupin's clothes. With Meddie set with enough potion to last all night, having to take a dose every 45mins just to be on the safe side I was all ready to sit back and feel the pure sweet tang of sweet nifty revenge. Oh had been practicing special innocent face look all day incase self is suspected of being… SOOO BAD!

Thought has just come to me, Loppy might actually thank me for setting him up with Meddie, who wouldn't want a piece of her!

Flash!

The whole school is seated at their tables in the great hall, the front of the hall has been turned into a huge stage with lights and mirror balls etc. The lights go up to reveal Loppy dressed in what appears to be a small schoolboys uniform complete with tie and shorts, standing in front of a microphone. The band starts playing and Loppy starts to sing:

She was a fast machine
She kept her motor clean
She was the best damn woman I had ever seen
She had the sightless eyes
Telling me no lies
Knockin' me out with those Parkinson thighs
Taking more than her share
Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there

'Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were makin it and you -

Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long

Working double time
On the seduction line
She was one of a kind, she's just mine all mine
Wanted no applause
Just another course
Made a meal out of me and came back for more
Had to cool me down
To take another round
Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing

'Cause the walls were shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were makin it and you -

Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long!

Flash!

On second thought, maybe not.