It had been a couple of days since they first saw Alex after the accident. He was better now and would be discharged in a couple of days. Nick and Tess had left Claire at the hospital and driven to what Nick quipped as there 'Home, sweet home, ' Wilgul. They were sitting together on the veranda when they noticed Harry's Ute approaching. He parked the car and got out and started to walk towards the happy couple with some papers on his hand. He seemed to them really tired and sad He handed the paper to Nick, his hands shaking, as one little tear rolled down on his tanned and weathered face.

"What is it, Dad?" Nick asked with a worried expression.

"Just read it," Harry replied gruffly, in his usual manner.

Nick took a quick look at the paper and then glancing at Tess who was looking at him with a confused expression. He smiled as Tess reached out and brushed a hand across the back of his neck as he began to tackle the letter.

To my dearest family,

I'm writing this letter to apologise to you all. You are my precious ones, and I want you to know that everything that I am about to say is coming from the bottom of my heart. Just knowing that I've caused you so much pain leaves me feeling worse than I have ever felt in my entire life.

I know that it will be very difficult for you to accept my apology after reading this letter, but please, can you just try?

I've made so many mistakes in my life. When you make one mistake, you have to make more to fix the first one. And one thing leads to another… So, over the course of time, you end up making many mistakes. Yes, I have made heaps of mistakes, all of them were devilish! But please believe me, I didn't mean to make any of them and I certainly didn't mean to cause the pain I did when I made them.

First of all, Harry, my dearest husband, I'm so sorry for lying to you about Alex! You were the best father that I've ever seen, the best father he could ever have, and I'm sure he agrees. I have no excuse for what I did, but I'm not regretful. You were his father all this time, and you still are. I entrust you two will be good to each other and you will not leave each other stranded. Alex, don't get angry with your father, this is not his fault. It is entirely and completely mine.

I was totally helpless when Bryce left me alone with my child, and there was you Harry. I couldn't lose you, and so I lied to you. But after we were married, your mother realized Alex was not your child. You have to understand Harry, she was determined to tell you the truth. I had to do something, I couldn't risk me and my family's happiness or our future. I was frightened but I had to be brave and I had to be strong. I had to be strong when I made the decision to end someone's life. That was the darkest moment of my life. I look back and I hate myself for doing just because of the spite I had for your mother, because of the fear but it didn't seem like I had any other choice. So I ordered her murder. How could I have known that it would affect my life like this? How did I know it would cause me to almost kill my own son?

That day, it was one or two years ago, I was on the phone to Ron Mitchel - the guy who had cut the brake line of Maude's car. He asked for more money, and he threatened to go to the police if I didn't give into his demands. I had to accept the fact that I was going to have to give him money. And she heard me, Tess McLeod. I've never been so mad in my life. she was driving me insane! I had to get rid of her. I had to do something... Anything! I told so many lies about her to you, Nick. I tried to slander her, and I tried to send her away. But I couldn't stop you two loving each other. And I thought, I thought if I wanted to get her out of our lives, forever, I had to make another difficult, spiteful and hateful decision. But this time, I didn't feel sorry. I felt guilty. Yes! Guilty. But I only felt guilty because… I didn't feel guilty.

I called Ron and asked him to do it one more time. This time to Tess's car. How could I know that Alex would take her car that day?

It was a chance for you to be alive right now, Alex. I am thankful for that. I know you hate me now, and you have a right to. But Alex, just know that I love you so much. I am so sorry, baby, for everything that I've done to you... I'm sorry.

That's the story. Now you all know! Take a look at this mess that I got myself into. You all hate me, and so do I, really. I hate myself, hate the things that I've done, the decisions I've made. But I can't change what happened, and I can't change what I've done. That's the way life is. I don't expect you to embrace me, if ever I return. And knowing this, I will never come back because I know that I'm not wanted anymore. So I'm leaving. Honestly, I considered killing myself, but I don't deserve to die, or I am afraid to die... And I know that, ironically, it would kill you all. It would make you feel so guilty and you don't deserve that when it is who is and always has been in the wrong. Also, it did seem a tad drastic. But at the time, I felt it was what I deserved.

If anyone ever tries to tell you I don't love you, don't believe them! I love you all more than anything. I can honestly stand anything, except to have you hate me. Please try to understand. I did all of those things because I wanted to be happy and I wanted you to be happy. I swear to God, that's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!

I'm crying and I am begging you all, please don't hate me. And if one day it's possible, please forgive me. Can you find it in your heart to do so? Just let me fix my life and I can be a better person.. And at last, don't try to find me... But if you ever do decide to forgive me, whisper it in the wind and wherever I am, I will hear it and I will smile. And if you ever want me to return, whisper it to the wind. I will come home. I am sorry. I am.

With all my love,

Elizabeth M. Ryan

He took his head between his hands and after a moment stared up at his father with teary eyes. The paper fell from his hand and landed in a heap on the floor. None of them could say anything.

After Harry left, Tess and Nick sat on the lounge. She sat, her head on his shoulder, stroking his back. She noted sadly that he was shaking. Tess lifted her head as he spoke.

"Should we tell Alex?" he finally asked between his sobs.

"Sooner or later we'll have to tell him," she answered, resting her head on his shoulder again. "But I know he'll have a rough time and then he'll get over it, easily."

"Yeah," he continued. "But we should wait him to be discharged from the hospital and get his bearings back before we do."

"Good idea," Tess smiled, gave him a supportive squeeze. He stopped and looked up at her, his eyes looking like two shining stars.

"Tess," he started, in a voice that piqued her curiosity.

"Yeah?" she replied, softly.

He turned to her completely and took her hands in his. She turned to him and let out an excited breath. He smiled at her again and still bewildered she smiled back. He opened his mouth to talk.

"Will you marry me?"

"Nick!" she exclaimed, as happy tears rolled down her cheeks. "Yes, I will marry you! Yes!"

She leaned in and gave him a passionate kiss before wrapping her arms around his neck. They stayed like that until the air darkened, knowing that together, everything would be alright and that they would be happy forever…

"Finders keepers, losers weepers!" Alex yelled before starting to run away with Nick.

"Wait for me!" Claire called from behind them.

"Come on Claire, what's wrong with you! We've started the game, come on!" Alex complained.

"I can't play with you today, mate" she answered. "I'm not allowed."

"Why not?" Nick asked, stepping towards her as he realized she'd been crying. "What's wrong?"

"I am suppose to be saying goodbye to Tess now, but I wanted to tell you that she is leaving. I thought maybe you'd want to see her for the last time," she cried.

"What do you mean?" 9-year-old Alex asked worried.

"I said she is leaving Alex. Which part didn't you understand?" she shouted between the sobs.

"But why?" Nick asked.

"I don't know. Dad and Ruth had a fight and... and..." she burst in tears again.

"Okay Claire, don't cry! Crying doesn't suit you," Alex tried to cheer her up, placed his arm on her shoulder.

"Where's Nick?" she asked, realizing that Nick was not with them anymore. They looked through the paddock and saw him running towards the house. He was out of the breath when he arrived the homestead.

"Tess!" he called. "Tess!!"

"Nick? What are you doing here?" the little girl asked, stepping out of the house.

"Tess, are you leaving?" he asked, not wanting to hear the answer.

"Yes, Nick, I am. I have to go with my mum," she replied, wiping her tears.

"But..." he tried to breath, "But I don't want to lose you Tess! You are my best friend!"

"You are my best friend too, Nick. But I have to go. I have no choice," she said. "I want to stay but mum won't let me!"

"We can get married, then she cant take you away," he offered.

"Nick, we're kids. We can't get married," she explained with sorrow.

"Then we can wait till we grow up and get married," he said. He wasn't giving up.

"Yes, that's a better idea. I'll come back when I grow up Nick, I promise. I wont forget you," she smiled.

"I will miss you," he answered, holding her hand. "I'd better go now. But Tess, you promised, don't forget that!"

"I wont forget Nick, I wont forget my promise and you. And… I will come back," she cried.

They held each other tight and said their last goodbyes. Tess watched him going and turned back to the house and walked into finish packing her bags...

THE END

Dear Debz-Hidden-Obsession, eScapefreak, Belle, genevra and DENIZdeDENIZ, and any other people who's read this story, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I feel sospecial... I loved reading all those comments..

and really really special thanks to you Gen, you are the best!! Thank you for everything!!
I'm glad we could finish this... :o)

Lots of love,
L.E.T.