Everyone gets this moment in their lives that they wish would go on forever.

First time I got into my Silvia. Mia crying on my high school graduation. The look on Vince's face the first time he won a race on the Maxima. Jesse happily fixing a car. The day Tony started teaching me about cars. The night Dom and I made love. The first engine I'd ever rebuilt on my own. Mine and Jim's first official date. Leon on his first time at Race Wars…

So many of them hiding in my fucked up childhood.

Even then, I still feel lucky. I could have ended up worse in so many ways. I don't know how things worked out this way, or why.

The heist made me think of all the times I could have crashed myself in a ditch or be dead on a street from an OD or a drive by.

My life may not have been perfect, but some days, you're reminded that it could have gone in so many other ways.

I do have one memory that stands out.

The year that I lived with the Toretto's…my dad was away a lot. Both he and Tony told me he was out on business, but I never believed either of them. I was twelve and I was a raging self-centered bitch. Seriously. I don't think I cared about anything during that time except maybe myself.

Anyway, I didn't know it then, but he really was away on business. Turns out that his company promoted him into this position that required a lot of travel, and he took it because according to Dom, it paid a hecka lot. I thought it was bull because we didn't need the money. We had enough. But I guess he wanted to save because…maybe because he had an idea of things to come.

But that year…that year was pure hell.

Mia had just started high school. She had all these new friends and they went out a lot. Dom and Vince just got their licenses and they were hardly ever home. If they weren't at the garage fixing a car, they were out racing a car with about ten dozen girls following them around.

That's the year that I started getting serious about cars.

I mean, I've always been into them. My dad is a good mechanic and living with Tony…it was just inevitable. So I was always crawling in some engine or pretending I was going around in the Charger.

But until then, they were just…cars. I liked them, but passionate about them. Not like Dom, or Vince or Tony. I was happy to be in one, but I didn't feel the need or the rush that I do today.

But that year…that year, everyone had grown up and somehow I was just…left behind. It wasn't anyone's fault, it was just the way things were. And with me hitting puberty, moving into a new house, getting used to middle school, and then feeling like the third wheel midget…I was a fucking wreck.

And Tony was trying to ease things by bringing me to the garage more often to help out. Didn't matter if it was learning to do the books, changing oil or just sitting there handing out tools, it was just doing anything to keep me from topping out.

So after school everyday, Dom or Tony would pick me up and we'd head back to the garage. I'd change out of my uniform and just dig in to whatever it was they wanted to do.

It wasn't the most perfect of routines. Since most of the time, Mia would drop by from the store with one of her flakey friends, asking for money and a ride to the mall. Which Dom would or Vince would gladly offer, never mind that it was a bunch of fourteen or fifteen year old girls.

And even though I hated the mall, squealing girls, or hormonally charged Dom and Vince, it still fucking pissed me off that nobody asked me.

Anyway, one day Vince came by to pick me up. It was a Friday, and it was one of those Friday's where the only thing you wanted to do was to go home and crawl to bed because you had a really crappy week.

Vince came by in his dad's battered old Buick and told me that I needed to get back at the garage. He, Dom and Tony were fixing a last minute problem that had come up one of Tony's race cars and they were going to pull an overnighter trying to fix it at the tracks.

I didn't have much time to complain.

We got to the garage at ten minutes flat and he tossed my backpack out with me before slamming the door and heading out.

I trudged into the garage with a scowl on my face, dragging my book bag as I actually dreaded working on a car. The situation even worse since Dom, Vince and Tony were out so I couldn't really talk to anyone and I saw Mia was busy entertaining one of her friends at the store.

I got to the garage, trying to see which of Tony's mechanic was left to watch over me, when I saw a familiar pair of work boots peaking out from underneath a dusty yellow Camaro Z28.

My jaw must have dropped as loudly as my books, because he crawled out as soon as I'd stepped in.

I can still remember his face, grease stained and shining as he looked at me frozen by the entrance.

"Leticia, just the girl I wanted to see" his voice, clear and sober, boomed "I'm a bit rusty with my engines, so go change out of your uniform and help me with this car. I need a brilliant assistant and nothing can be better than my girl."

I could have fucking died happy right there.

It didn't matter that I fuck-ass hated him. That this was the first time I'd seen him in ten months and the first time in a long time that I'd ever talked to him straight sober.

It was…my dad. And no matter how hard I tried to deny it, I missed him.

He'd come home to surprise me on my crappy day, then helped me fix a really hot car that could have been relegated to one of the other mechanics.

I remember just sitting there in my coveralls, handing him tools as he made jokes about trying to recapture his youth by fixing this car himself and then asking me all sorts of questions about school.

The sun was just beginning to set and it streamed down in the garage, warming up the settling evening. We had cokes and sandwiches on the side, and I was just…too stunned to be angry.

Things went on for like that for a whole weekend. It turns out Tony knew about him coming home and thought I could use some time with my dad.

I would have been pissed for missing his first pro-race tournament, but somehow it didn't matter. I was with my dad, and he was talking to me, and I was talking to him, and we were working on a car, and we were having a rare time. And I remember wishing, over and over…

That things would always be like that. Never mind that my mother left, or that I was having a difficult time in the school that he was fucking paying for, or that Dom and Mia were beginning to out grow me…it didn't fucking matter.

I wished that things would be like that forever. That it would go on and on… Yeah, I knew it would never last. It never did, not with me and my dad, with Mia or with Dom. But the longer we stayed in that garaged, the more I began to hope…

To wish that it could go longer, that things would always be this…perfect.

I went home both weekends and I cooked for my dad. First time in a long time that I'd had dinner in my own house and it was awesome. But when Sunday came in and we ate dinner at the Toretto's, I knew then that it was over.

…A lot of things happened between that time and the day he died. They weren't all bad, some of them were really good, but none have ever been that perfect.

Present

The tension in the garage was so high that I felt like hanging myself around noon.

No one said anything when Dom and I walked in.

No one. Not a 'hi' from Brian, a grunt from Vince, or even Leon asking me about breakfast.

They all just looked up, stared, and then went back to doing their own thing. I think they were afraid to talk.

I don't blame them. If the situation were reversed, I wouldn't know what to fucking say to me either.

I went back to the Civic that I'd been working on and tried to lose myself in repairs. Try and block it all out.

It worked, in a way. When lunch rolled by, Mia came in with some sandwiches and we all sat down on a bench silently waged a speed eating contest.

Vince won. Two turkey sandwiches in ten minutes. Leon was a close second. Would have come first but he fucking choked.

The rest of the day passed in this awkward silence. There was very little talk besides asking for the occasional wrench.

Dom spent the afternoon hiding in the office, doing paperwork. He hates paperwork, but right now, anything was better than being stuck in the garage.

The situation was making me nervous. To top it all up, I was worried about what to say to Jim.

Flashback

I sighed as I loaded the last bag into the car. I don't think I've ever shopped that hard in my whole life, not even in one of Mia's super sprees.

I hate shopping, and I fucking hate the mall. Even Dom thought I was nuts when I flipped over the idea of online shopping. I just hate having to go there and try shit up and have to deal with all those fucking people…it gets to be a bit claustrophobic sometimes.

But today…today was different. After being cooped up for the past four months, I craved human interaction.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-social or anything, I just…really hate being surrounded by strangers. At Race Wars or auto shows, I usually just hung out by the tent with the guys. The people I meet are all introduced to me by the team and it's rare that I actually seek them out.

But just yesterday I was half-tempted to buy one of those crappy sets of tools sold on the phone just to keep the telemarketer on the line. I haven't talked to another human being in months…the last time being the people I spoke to for Jesse's funeral arrangements.

"That all of it?"

I nearly jumped as I heard the trunk slam close and Jim letting out a huge sigh.

The guy just was built to shop. Technically, so am I and guys in general, but Jim…Jim's more like a drive-thru shopper. He needs, he sees, he gets it, he gets out. He even checks him time.

What you get when you shop with a fucking SWAT cop.

"Yeah, that's all of it."

"Good" he smirks "Coz I don't think the car can hold anything more."

I laugh and look at the cramped back seat. I've just bought…everything. Groceries. Clothes. Books. A toaster.

With Richard's fellowship almost through, we decided to take a look at the state of Jim's apartment and maybe even try living there for a few days.

A day into the three day trial and I realized that there was no way that I could fucking live in it.

Jim always lived like a fucking bachelor, but with us shacking up at the beach house and him getting a dog…his apartment is a fucking wreck.

I've lived with four frigging guys…fuck, four frigging mechanics in the same house and it was never as bad as this. Of course, they had Mia and me, but that was a house. This was a one bedroom apartment with a galley kitchen and a fucking cubby for a living room.

How hard was it to vacuum? Or to identify now toxic food in the fridge or scrubbing up the bathroom? Not to mention looking after the fucking dog?

Okay, maybe the dog ain't easy, especially a big dog…

I never thought I'd be the type to turn domestic, but I was out cleaning the minute I could get Roxy out the door.

Turned the damn place inside out until I was satisfied, gave Roxy a bath and the apartment another once over and started making a list.

Of course, it took a week to convince Jim to actually venture out and do the shopping with me.

He's still mulling out the decision to stick with the gun cage while I still…

…What the hell was I still doing?

I was cooking, cleaning, shopping. Home with a man and a dog, a car and a fuckass beach house…

"Letty?"

I snapped out of my reverie and look at him from where he's watching me over the hood of the car. At first, I'm fucking confused on what he's doing on the passenger side and looking at me damn funny, until I realized I've got the car keys.

I shake the fog from my head and smile at him.

I was bored the past few weeks and decided to…tweak out his car. Nothing really big. But it's always been Tony's belief, and therefore my dog-damn sacred duty, to never leave a muscle—even one as butt-ugly as Jim's—untouched.

I smiled as I unlocked the car and let him in.

I did another check on my mirrors before I turned and gave him a wry grin.

"Hey Jim"

"Yeah?" he asked, buckling himself in

"Wanna go for a ride?"

Present

I left the garage at around five to get ready for my date.

I stopped by the office to tell Dom that I'd be heading out then nodded to each of the guys before leaving.

I didn't wait to see what any of their reactions were. I don't think I could have. I was so nervous I felt like throwing up.

I spent most of my time in the shower, scrubbing off the grit and grime from the garage. I didn't have much time, but I didn't want to meet Jim and smell like motor oil…well, mostly like motor oil. I don't think I can ever get rid of that lingering smell, but I like it.

It tells people who I am, what I'm from, what I do, and that I'm proud of it.

I'd already picked an outfit from Dom's room and was running around trying to get dressed when I heard a car over outside.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

I was about to run up half-made when I heard the familiar roar of another set of engines power down, then hearing footsteps clomp all over the house.

"It's just the boys" I told myself, plopping down Jesse's bed to put on my boots

Can't say I'm relieved though. I don't honestly know which one I prefer: being late, or having the boys meet Jim again, this time with the full knowledge that I once dated him…behind Dom's back.

Someday…they're going to have to forgive me for what I did. I know they'll never forget it, and I don't expect them to.

I've never forgotten any of Dom's indiscretions, even if it hurts, I just…can't. But I forgave him, every damn time. Took him back, loved him again.

And he'll forgive me for this. With Dom's pride, it won't be easy, but he will. He at least owes me that much. But to forget…

He will never forget, he will always remember. Dom likes to keep the scars from all his wounds, and he never really buries hatred. Doesn't completely forget hurt. He told me once that he was like that because he wanted to be reminded of all the good in his life. That by seeing the bad, he's reminded of how incredibly lucky he is…in a lot of respects.

I have to wonder though, if he'll want to be reminded of this.

He might forgive, but not being to forget about something like this…I'm sure we can move on from this, but as what? Lovers? Friends?

I laced my boots and stood up, my feet automatically trudging up the stairs.

I can't think about this right now. Too much to handle at the same time.

I just…I just have to get through this one thing with Jim first. And maybe, in a couple of hours…days…I'll be able to function again. To think.

I just need to regroup…

I reach the living room and notice that there's no one there. Good. The living room is the fucking nexus of this house. When we get home, we all usually crash here until one of us can't stand the hunger and actually helps Mia set up for dinner…although most of the time, that someone is me.

I hurry up to the front steps, deciding to just wait up for Jim and maybe get him out before any of the guys sees him.

My heart fucking drops when I see a familiar blue convertible parked in front of the house.

Jim…

So he did already get here…only here the fuck is he?!?!

I run towards the back door and catch a glimpse of Vince and Leon sitting on the picnic table and looking at something.

"This cannot be fucking good" I mutter as I reach the door.

Okay, now I can have a heart attack.

"What the fuck?!"

I fucking cannot believe my eyes, or even the fact that this is fucking happening.

There's Jim, dressed in his plaid civvies, heading out to the white shed that used to house the Charger…with Dom.

Oh, shit.