A/N Changing the category of this story to Angst/Romance as it has rather been on the far side of angst, maybe even more than I originally intended :)

Chapter 13

"What?" asked Spike.

"Take me to bed,"

"Yeah I got that part, why?" Maybe he was off his gourd to be questioning her at a time like this, but he needed to be sure it was what she really wanted and not out of some kind of gratitude or other.

"Do you need me to draw diagrams?" she asked.

Spike shook his head, "No, but it's what you want?"

Buffy leaned up on tiptoe to kiss him on the lips. She placed his hand on her breast; she pulled away from him to look him in the eyes. "I want you, and only you,"

"Buffy, I want you too, but before we go to bed, I need to know...is this your first time?" he asked.

Buffy's heart leapt at the words before we go to bed. She had been afraid that he was about to reject her.

"What makes you think that? Is it some kinda of sin to be a virgin at my advanced age?" she asked sarcastically, as angry colour flooded her cheeks.

"No, I think it's beautiful. I just want you to be sure that you want me as your first lover, and that there is no room for regrets on your part,"

Buffy sucked in a breath, realising that she wanted this more than anything she had ever wanted in her adult life, apart from Dawn's health. She bit her lip as was her habit to do so when in conflict. She looked at Spike, seeing the fear of her answer in his eyes.

"Spike take me up those stairs and make me yours before I pick you up and carry you up there myself, " she said breathily.

"I'd like to see you try," he chuckled, "But I might be able to oblige the lady,"

Spike scooped her up in his arms and took the stairs at a run.

"Eager much?" Buffy giggled shyly, arching an eyebrow at him, before crushing her lips to his.

He kicked open the door and lowered Buffy gently onto the bed.

"God, you look so beautiful," he replied fiercely, as he walked over to the bed and switched on the lamp.

"I thought you would want to be in the dark," she said nervously.

"I want to be able to look at every inch of that luscious body and see every emotion in your eyes as I make love to you. Do you know that having you so near me night after night has driven me to near insanity?" he asked.

"Me too," she admitted, "I just wasn't sure you felt the same way,"

Spike took her hand and placed it on his body. "Does this feel like I'm not interested?"

Buffy swallowed at the feel of him under her hand, a little frightened at his size, that she had only glimpsed at before.

"You feel...g-good," she replied.

Spike smiled at her before lowering his head to kiss her lips. He moved on to her neck, kissing and nibbling at the soft white skin and tasting the perfume that was uniquely her. Buffy thrust her hands into his hair as he trailed kisses along her collar bone to the lacy edging of her bra. He lifted up his head to look at her. Buffy sat up a little to shed her blouse, she pulled Spike's shirt off him with such force that a couple of buttons went flying. Both of them laughed.

"Who's the eager one now pet?" he asked as he unclasped her bra, both of them impatient to feel skin against skin.

He was right, she was eager, eager to start living...and she realised with a jolt... maybe even loving.

Buffy arched up on the bed as his kisses travelled lower until he was at the waistband of her skirt. He reached behind her and unzipped it, taking the remainder of her clothing with it until she was naked to his gaze.

"Every bit as lovely as the first night you lay in my arms," he said in awe.

Spike removed the rest of his clothing, and covered her body with his own. They lay there together like that for a few moments, he didn't want to rush her or frighten her in anyway, wanting her to get used to the weight of his body on hers. Buffy had other ideas as she wriggled her hips and made him groan. She smiled at him with a satisfied gleam to her eyes, self satisfied in the knowledge that she had caused him to cry out.

"You're a tease Buffy Sutton," he said slowly worked his way down her body.

"Nope, but I am learning to be," she gasped as he touched her intimately.

"Two can play at that game," he replied, looking up at her, his tongue touching his lower lip, before lowering his head again.

The room was filled with their mutual whispers and sighs, Buffy writhed beneath his touch wanting release from the heat that Spike had ignited within her. She parted her legs instinctively, pleading with him to take that final step. Spike looked at her, an unspoken question in his eyes. She nodded, her eyes glazed with passion as Spike thrust forward. She cried out in pain, he begun to pull away, but she wrapped her legs around him urging him on. The hurt soon begun to fade to be replaced by pleasure she had only dreamt of...

Buffy looked at the clock, it read one am. Spike was sleeping softly by her side, a little smile lifting the corners of his mouth. He looked relaxed and almost boyish in the soft moonlight. She wondered what he dreamt of while he slept. Her stomach rumbled distracting her from her thoughts. She slipped her arm out from under him, and sat up, wincing a little at the soreness of her limbs and other places. She smiled in remembrance of their passion as she eyed the scattered clothing on the bedroom floor.

For once she felt really blessed to have had her first time with someone as tender as Spike. A few of her friends had told her horror stories of their first times with guys who had cared nothing except for their own pleasure, but he had been there with her, every step of the way. She placed a kiss on his lips before shrugging on her dressing gown to set off on a mission to find something fattening and preferably covered with chocolate.

She crept out of the room not wanting to wake Spike, and not really sure what she would say to him when they did get around to having "The Talk" which she knew was surely coming. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk; she just needed to sort out the jumble of emotions that rattled around inside her. Buffy knew it was clichéd, but she finally understood what some of the fuss was about...

Spike opened his eyes and reached over for Buffy, encountering only a pillow, he sat up in bed and looked around the empty room.

"Buffy luv?"

He lifted back the covers and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Where was she? Maybe he'd been too rough and had unwittingly hurt her. He needed to find her and make sure she was okay. Spike looked around the room, spying his pyjama bottoms on the floor; he picked them up and hastily pulled them on. He marched out of the room, checking the bathroom first before running downstairs. The house was silent. His head whipped round as he heard the muffled Klink of glass.

"Buffy?"

Spike walked towards the kitchen, and flung the door open. Buffy's head was in the freezer side of the fridge, she shot up guiltily and quickly shut the door as she heard him enter. She was licking her lips; Spike's eyes followed the movements of her tongue.

"The bed got cold," he said, inwardly relieved that his bride hadn't decided to do a runner.

"I got hungry," she replied awkwardly, unable to meet his eyes.

Spike walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"So I see, it running down your chin," Spike flicked his tongue out to lick the chocolate sauce from the corner of her mouth. "You taste good,"

"Oh I er...thanks," she stuttered, affected by his nearness.

Spike could feel the rapid rise and fall of her chest, and the blush that stained her cheeks as she ventured a quick glance at him. Unable to help herself she looked up at him again, mesmerised by the desire she read in his eyes.

"Come back to bed Buffy," he urged, lowering his lips to hers.

They broke apart moments later.

"Yes, she replied simply.

Spike reached behind her and opened the freezer, taking out the carton of Ben and Jerry's that still had a spoon inside it. He grinned at her as he led her from the kitchen and switched off the light.

"What's that for?" she asked.

"You'll see pet. There's more than one way to eat ice-cream," he replied, arching an eyebrow at her.

Willow checked her watch. "Dawnie it's almost one thirty in the morning, Buffy would kill me if she knew you were still up,"

"Aww c'mon Will, what Buffy doesn't know won't hurt her," groaned Dawn. "Besides we haven't watched Mean Girls yet. Don't wanna waste a good rental,"

"Fine, but I'm getting the quilt, and you can lie on the sofa. I won't have you over doing it,"

"You're worse than Buffy," said Dawn rolling her eyes at Willow.

"We're just looking out for you," said Willow, softening her words with a smile.

"Fine," said Dawn as she stretched out on the sofa. "While you're at, it how about some more microwave popcorn?"

"You're pushing your luck,"

Dawn grinned at her cheekily knowing it was a done deal. She settled down on the sofa and turned the film on. Willow shook her head as she walked out the room and got the quilt and dropped it on Dawn's lap, before heading off to the kitchen. Dawn winced in pain as she felt a familiar ache in her stomach. Maybe just a little too much popcorn, she grimaced

Willow came back in a few moments later, to find Dawn engrossed in the film.

"Did you turn up the heating in here? Cos I'm sweating like a pig, that is of course if pigs sweat," said Dawn

"Are you okay?" asked Willow in concern.

"Sure just a little belly ache, I think I O.D.'ed on the sugary snacks,"

They sat together, huddled up in the quilt munching on the popcorn watching the story unfold on screen. The movie finished and Willow walked over to the TV to switch it off. Dawn had fallen asleep some time ago, but Willow had wanted to see how it ended. She yawned and sleepily made her way back to Dawn, not wanting to leave the teen on the sofa all night. She herself had fallen asleep on there till morning before, and lived to regret it.

"Dawnie, c'mon lets get you up to bed," sad Willow, as she gently shook her. Dawn didn't respond. "Dawn? Dawn!" Dawn's head lolled to the side, and Willow felt the panic rise inside her. She frantically knelt down and put her head to Dawn's chest, some of her fear abated as she heard the beat of her heart, albeit a little too fast. She quickly scrambled to her feet and ran to the phone and dialled 911.

Secure in the knowledge that an ambulance was on its way, she called Buffy. The phone rang and rang, but no one answered.

Willow started to cry. "Buffy where are you?" She replaced the receiver and paced the room. "Oh God what do I do?" Faith, she'll know what to do, and Angel is Spike's friend. Willow went back over to the phone and called Angel's number.

"Hello?" Faith's husky voice replied on the other end. "Whoever you are, this had better be a good one, I was catching some shut eye,"

"Faith, its Willow,"

"Willow, what's up?" asked Faith, hearing the distress in her friend's voice.

"It's Dawn, she came here for a sleepover, we were watching a movie and afterwards I couldn't wake her. I can't get a hold of Buffy. I don't know what to do Faith," cried Willow.

"You called an ambulance right?" asked Faith.

"It's on its way,"

"Angel and I, will take care of Buffy, we'll get her there. We'll break the door down if we have to. Catch you at the hospital," said Faith as she hung up.

Willow sagged against the wall for a moment, until she heard the wail of the ambulance sirens in the distance. She flung the door open and waited for them, seconds later they ran in through the front door as she directed them to the lounge. She watched helplessly as they worked on Dawn.

"She is gonna be okay right?" asked Willow.

"We have to get her to the hospital ma'am, are you next of kin?" asked the medic.

"I am her sister's best friend; we're trying to get a hold of her. Is it okay if I ride with her in the ambulance?"

"Sure,"

The third medic came in with a trolley and they placed Dawn on it. Willow grabbed her bag and ran out after them and got in with Dawn. The sirens wailed again and they were off.

"Please let her be okay," said Willow under her breath.

Buffy awoke with a start, it sounded like someone was hammering on the front door. She turned to Spike and woke him.

"I think someone is trying to break in," said Buffy fearfully.

Spike got up off the bed and quickly dressed, throwing on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. "Stay here, I'll take care of it,"

"Be careful," said Buffy. As soon as Spike was gone from the room, she pulled a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from closet, and poked her head around the edge of the bedroom door.

She frowned, there were voices, it sounded like Faith and Angel, but what would they be doing here this time of night? Buffy ran down stairs to investigate.

"Faith what is it?" asked Buffy, scared by the look on her friend's face.

"Buffy we tried to call, but no one was picking up...there is no easy way to say this, you gotta come with us, it's Dawn,"

"What about Dawn? She is sleeping over at Willows tonight,"

"Yeah I know, Willow called us, they are at the hospital now,"

Spike walked over to Buffy and put his arms around her, but she was so numb that it almost didn't register.

"C'mon luv, let's get you to your sister," he said soothingly.

Buffy looked up at Spike, her eyes blank. She pulled away from him and walked over to the hall cupboard as if in a trance to get her coat.

"I'm sorry Buffy," offered Angel as he led her out to the car. She nodded at him vaguely.

The ride to the hospital was taken in heavy silence. Spike saw the tears shimmering in Buffy's eyes and spill down her cheeks. He put up a hand to wipe them away and she flinched in surprise and looked at him with such agony in her face.

"The nibblet will be okay. You'll see Buffy," he tried to reassure her. She just looked away and stared out of the window. Spike sighed and did the same.

The car pulled up at the hospital, it had barely come to a halt, when Buffy wrenched open the door and ran across the parking lot.

"Buffy!" Spike called after her.

Faith put an arm on Spike's hand. "Let her go, I get the feeling she is suffering a huge side order of guilt right now. You two did the deed tonight, didn't you?" asked Faith.

Spike looked at her, "How do you know?"

"Let's just say I read it in her eyes," she replied as they walked across the lot. Angel linked his arm through Faith's.

"Sorry Buddy, but you couldn't expect me to lie to Faith about your marriage could you?" asked Angel.

Spike sighed. "I guess not, but Dawn and Buffy are all I care about now,"

"See I told ya he loves her Angel," said Faith.

The three of them walked into the brightly lit hospital reception. "Dawn Summers?" asked Spike.

"Are you family? Because only family are allowed to see her at the moment," said the Nurse suspiciously.

"I'm her brother-in-law," Spike stated.

"Okay, but the rest of you will have to sit in the waiting room," the nurse informed them.

Spike took off in search of his missing wife. He found her in a private room with Dawn and Willow. She was sitting next to Dawn's bed and holding her sister's hand.

Spike looked at Willow "How is she?" he asked.

"They are running tests now, but they think its pancreatitis, probably brought on by a reaction to her chemo meds," said Willow.

Buffy's face crumpled at her friend's words, Spike went over to her and took her in his arms.

"God, it's my entire fault," Buffy sobbed. "I should have been there, I should have known..."

"Buffy, you couldn't have...it's nobody's fault..." Spike trailed off at a loss for words.

They had been sitting there in silence for what seemed like an eternity. The only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock, time had lost all meaning. All the occupants of the room could think of was Dawn.

Dawn stirred in the bed and opened her eyes, focusing on Spike. He smiled at her reassuringly.

"How did I end up here?" asked Dawn "One minute I was watching a movie then bam, nothing,"

"Dawnie," Buffy smiled at her teary eyed.

All heads turned as the door opened and the doctor entered the room.

TBC

A/N and now for the boring medical bit, for those wondering what the merry hell what pancreatitis is...

There are two main types of pancreatitis: acute and chronic. Acute pancreatitis occurs suddenly and lasts for a short period of time. It usually resolves. Some people with acute pancreatitis may have more than one attack and recover completely after each. The symptoms of acute pancreatitis usually begin with severe pain in the upper abdomen. The pain may last for a few days. Some of the other symptoms are: swollen and tender abdomen, sweating, nausea, vomiting, fever, mild jaundice, and rapid pulse.