Disclaimer - None of this is mine. It's all Tammy's.

Pleasure and Punishment

Joren sighed as he trudged up to the palace. He could not believe that Nealan of Queenscove had dared to suggest that he was queer. Or that he was seeing Garvey. After all, he was at the palace, and there were much better people to pick from than the likes of Garvey. Such as Zahir. Sand scut though he was, he was a lot more attractive than Garvey and had the intelligence to understand why the Lump was so terrible. Of course, after Queenscove's remark, he'd had to defend his honour and as a result, all the pages were given bread and water dinners and punishment work until midwinter. Disgusted with the outcome of the afternoon, Joren went to his room and washed up for dinner.

A week later, Joren sat in his room trying to complete the math problems assigned to him by Master Yayin. He was hopeless at maths, although he did well in his other subjects. Sorely tempted to rip the parchment with the said problems to shreds, he contented himself with glaring at it until a knock sounded at the door. With considerable relief, he noted the visitor was Zahir. "You took your time," he said dryly. Zahir always came to study with Joren and would be able to help him with the math work.

"Vinson and Garvey wouldn't let me leave. They couldn't grasp the concepts and Garvey kept trying to stroke my thigh. Eventually I did the problems for them and left." Studying Joren, he remarked tiredly, "Don't tell me you need help too."

"Alas, I am afraid so," Joren replied in a mock player-like tone.

Zahir grinned. "Fine then, lets get it over with." It didn't take long for them to finish the problems that had been set for Joren. They then did a little work on their own, asking each other for help when necessary. Eventually they both finished and lapsed into conversation. "This has to be the worst punishment Wyldon's ever given us," the Bahzir remarked dryly.

"Absolutely," Joren agreed.

"How did the fight start? I arrived at the stables a little too late to hear."

"Queenscove said I was queer and sleeping with Garvey."

"Which explains why Garvey was so upset afterwards, but tell me, Queenscove didn't actually say that, did he?"

"His exact words were, 'Joren, Garvey is so pretty. Say Garvey, are you two friends because you can have him?'"

"Mithros," Zahir breathed. "What did you do?"

"What?"

"Well you must have said or done something to make him say that. Queenscove may be rash, but he is no fool."

"I said something about Faleron and the Lump being friends because she whores for him," Joren admitted, scowling.

Zahir snickered. "Well that was never in any doubt. But are you?"

"Am I what?" Joren arched an eyebrow.

"Are you, uh…' Zahir shifted uncomfortably, "…queer?"

"What?" Joren exploded. "Haven't you seen the pretty ladies begging me to kiss them, the times I sneak out in the evenings to bed some whore who thinks she'd die without me?"

"I know Joren. All I meant was had you ever taken an interest in men?" Zahir looked at him questioningly.

It was Joren's turn to shift uncomfortably under Zahir's piercing gaze. He knew Zahir would see a lie in his eyes, so he told the truth. "Yes, once or twice. But I'm not queer."

"So you're attracted to both sexes?"

"Yes. Now can we discuss something else?" This was getting more than a little embarrassing for Joren. "And don't tell anybody about this," he added warningly.

"It's our secret, Joren. I promise," Zahir said, his expression unreadable.

"Good. I need to use the privy. You can see yourself out."

"Very well."

As Joren went to the privy, Zahir looked around. No, he was not leaving yet. Joren had opened up tonight for some inexplicable reason. If he left now, it would be as if the conversation had never happened. Walking quietly around the room, he blew out some of the candles so there was only a dim light in the room. He knew he had a chance with Joren, seeing as how he admired physical beauty. Yet he still waited nervously, the few short minutes seeming like an age.

Joren opened the door and was surprised to see the dim light. Why the candles had gone out, he didn't know. Looking around the room, he saw Zahir was still there. Puzzled, he walked over to him. "Why are all the candles out?"

"Does it matter?" Joren stared. Was Zahir nervous?

"No I guess not," he replied, still a little dumfounded.

Zahir's hand brushed his cheek. "You don't understand, do you?"

As Joren opened his mouth to reply, Zahir kissed him softly. Surprised, Joren pulled away. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, it was a mistake, I should go," Zahir babbled as he turned away, filled with humiliation.

Closing his eyes in exasperation, he grabbed Zahir's arm and spun in back to face him. Opening his eyes, he said calmly, "It was nothing of the sort." He slowly kissed him and let Zahir deepen the kiss before pulling away. Zahir smiled, kissing him passionately as Joren's hand speared through his hair. As Zahir pulled away, Joren asked casually, "Did you want to stay?" His reply was met with silence as Zahir replied with another kiss. Smiling, Joren locked the door and helped Zahir blow out the rest of the candles.

A/N - Thanks to Tuathail (Lan) for betaing this for me. Please review.