Winter's Rime
Chapter Two
Sara had taken a cab home from the party, calling Catherine and telling her how sorry she was and that she would be okay.
Catherine called her to see if she was okay, and she explained about Vartan and how it was completely friendly at this point. Catherine sounded doubtful about that fact, but she agreed with Sara anyhow, but still encouraged her to try going out with Vartan more often, just to test the waters a bit. She also explained about her conversation with Grissom.
Sara was feeling completely overwhelmed by everything in her life so far. Ecklie had split up the team for good, not hinting at a chance of a reunion anytime soon. Catherine had intimated to her over the phone how awkward she felt working with just Warrick and Nick. Sara knew how Catherine felt about him; it was no secret.
Sara shook her head and decided not to think about anything work related until she actually got to work.
For now, all she had to do was stay warm in her apartment, and work on her small dinner of steamed vegetables with gravy. It was her favorite.
She made herself a cup of tea to go with her dinner before sitting down to watch television. She had done just fine after her counseling, which Ecklie had tried to pry into but she didn't let him. She had not had a drop of alcohol since her DUI and she began to learn how to separate work from her personal time. Her case loads hadn't been as stressful nor as emotional lately, so she could easily discard her memories of them.
She looked around her tiny apartment. Even though she was feeling better emotionally, she still felt isolated in her apartment. It was supposed to be a quick fix until she found a bigger apartment when she first came to Vegas, but for some odd reason, the studio apartment grew on her and she stayed permanently. Now five years later after many tears, rants, broken vases, thrown books, and pinned up case files on the wall, she knew that it was time for a bigger place to live and breathe.
She stuffed a carrot into her mouth and chewed it thoughtfully. Where would she like to live? In a condo or an actual house? She couldn't decide. She weighed the benefit of a house: permanent ownership, personal style, farther away from work since it was in the suburbs, pleasant surroundings beyond the city and a view. A condo: like owning a house but she still had other tenants living next to her, hearing her and making her have to be careful all the time. She went for a house. She could afford one with her salary and her savings.
She smiled at the prospect of owning a house. She thought of ways she could decorate and add her personal flavor to it. She thought about wide open spaces, and large, beautiful windows, letting light in.
She would start looking for a house after the next shift. It would be a pleasant change for her. A nice spacious, one story house for her to live in sounded just fine with her.
Sara smiled with excitement over the idea of buying a new house. Of course, she knew that it would be a long process of finding the right one for her. She already knew that she couldn't afford Summerlin. That was a given. She didn't want an area that was too populated either.
She waved off her thoughts, deciding to worry about it when she got off shift.
She dreaded having to face Grissom. But she couldn't hide in her corner forever. Her anger got the best of her. Maybe it helped him realize what kind of man he had become. The Grissom at present and the Grissom from years ago were two different men. The Grissom now was intensely clandestine, insensitive, and often inattentive. The Grissom from years ago was thoughtful, caring, and passionate about everything he did. When he began to change, she changed right along with him, showing that she loved any part of him.
"I love him," she whispered quietly.
That was hard to say aloud, even in her own presence. She had been feeling the words on the tip of her tongue since the first day she met him. She knew he felt the same about her, but he had odd ways of showing it. Like the plant for instance. What was that supposed to mean? She had tended to it ever since she got it even though she didn't really have a green thumb. His small speech to Dr. Lurie shed some light on how he actually felt about her. He loved her but he loved her to a point. He would lose everything he worked so hard for in his career. It was understandable, but she wished that he had followed his heart rather than his brain.
Thus was the never ending cycle of their love-hate relationship. Sara wanted it to stop. It had taken up the past five years of her life and she felt like she was drowning. She was more than ready to move on and to just live her life.
Once through with her dinner and tea, she washed out her dishes, turned off the television, then she went to bed, her mind still reeling off of the prospect of buying a house and starting the changes in her life.
Sara found Grissom in his office as usual rubbing his temples. She knocked on the doorframe and he looked up.
"Come in," he sighed. "Close the door behind you please."
Sara came in and did as he requested. She ran her fingers through her hair and sat down. She didn't make eye contact with him at all. Instead, she looked around his cluttered, quirky office and sighed before she began talking.
"Grissom," she began. "Look, about what happened at the banquet, I didn't mean to get so angry at you."
He looked up at her with his blue eyes and frowned deeply before looking back down at his paperwork, taking off his glasses.
"I should be the one apologizing," he said calmly. "I know that what I said hurt you, and that wasn't my intent."
Sara nodded.
"What happened to us Grissom?" She asked.
"I don't know," he answered honestly. "Things have changed so much around here. I guess we just, lose sight of what's most important."
Sara raised her eyebrows and nodded.
"Well, thanks for being so understanding Griss," Sara said with a slight smile.
She was relieved at how smoothly things went between she and Grissom. She was in a much better mood, and she was glad that they had at least resolved some of the tension built up between them.
Sara picked up the case file she was working on and headed to the layout room. Sophia had already taken it up.
"Hey Sara," she said, not looking away from the evidence on the table.
"Hey Sophia," Sara greeted. "What are you working on?"
"Oh, just following up, to make sure I didn't miss anything in my report," Sophia explained. "Paperwork is everything in this job."
Sara rolled her eyes.
"Evidence is everything in this job," Sara corrected.
"I disagree," Sophia said, looking up abruptly.
"Well disagree all you want," Sara chimed. "But on this shift, nothing matters but the evidence."
Sophia looked at Sara challengingly and Sara was ready.
"I believe that opinion is up to our supervisor," Sophia snapped.
"And he'll tell you the same damn thing I'm telling you," Sara hissed, putting her hands on the table.
The two women stared each other down before Sara took her file and left.
She found peace in another layout room and began to examine her case again. Somehow, she managed to concentrate on her case through the excitement of house hunting after work, that is, if she wasn't too tired. Her run-in with Sophia only energized her and made her feel more confident not only as a woman scorned, but as a CSI. She felt even more pride in her work for knowing what was most important: the evidence.
She heard a knock at the door and she looked up.
It was Greg.
"Hey Greg," she said. "How'd it go with Doc Robbins's follow up?"
"It was fine, we found a few things we missed at the prelim," he explained.
"Good," she said. "You're doing a great job so far Greg. You'll be a CSI level one in no time."
"I feel like I'm in school all over again," he sighed.
"Well, the more you learn, the better at this you'll be," Sara said as she flipped through crime scene photos.
Greg sat down on the stool next to Sara.
"This whole breaking up the team thing really bites," he commented. "How could Ecklie do this to us? We were almost like family. I looked forward to seeing you guys together every night."
Sara sighed.
"Things change Greg," she started. "It was bound to happen one of these days. Change is good sometimes."
"Not this change," he said, resting his chin on his fist.
Sara smiled a bit at his sad mood. Greg was like the little brother she never had. He still had so much to learn about being a CSI. Relationships change, the people you work and relate to change all the time. Sara couldn't handle that aspect of life mentally until now, explaining that cycle to another. Eventually, one comes to grips with that cycle and it leads them to places that just might make life a little better.
"So, what's this I hear about you and Detective Vartan?" Greg asked.
Sara glared at him.
"There's nothing going on between us," Sara said indignantly. "I mean, we had coffee at the hotel together. So what? It's not like I'm marrying him or anything. We're just building a friendship, that's all."
"How can anyone be friends with that guy?" Greg asked. "He rarely laughs, I don't even think the man's mouth has the muscle capacity to smile, and he has no emotion whatsoever on his features. What's there to even have coffee with that guy?"
Sara chuckled.
"Well, he certainly surprised me," she said. "He's a nice guy when you get to know him."
"He's only a nice guy around you because he thinks you're hot," Greg embellished with a smile.
Sara swatted his arm.
"Thanks, but I don't need your flattery Greg," Sara said.
"It's not flattery," he said. "That's what one of his detective buddies said."
Sara shook her head doubtfully.
"We're attracted to each other, yes, but we don't think of each other in that way," Sara defended. "We're just friends."
"Yeah," Greg chuckled. "That's what Catherine and Warrick are going to say when they get caught doing-"
"Alright! I don't need a visual!" Sara hissed.
"Well, I hope that you and Vartan work out," Greg well-wished. "As long as you're happy."
"Thanks Greg," Sara said. "You're such a charmer."
"Yeah well," Greg said, puffing out his chest a little.
Sara rolled her eyes.
The diner was nice and comfortable.
The early morning sun came up brightly over the horizon, casting a glow in the restaurant, eliminating the need for lights.
Detective Vartan ordered coffee to start.
"How was shift?" He asked Sara.
"It was okay," she said. "Not as stressful."
"Good," he said, fixing her coffee for her.
Sara inwardly smiled at that. She tried to tell him that she could fix her own coffee, but he insisted on fixing it for her saying, "Just relax," and she did so, taking off her coat and setting her purse aside.
"How was your night?" She asked him.
"Paperwork," he said with furrowed eyebrows. "Doesn't make for an exciting night."
"I know," she sympathized. "I hate doing paperwork. I wonder how many trees are wasted for paperwork for law enforcement, and then how much paper is wasted when people make errors on them and throw them away."
Vartan looked at her with a slight grin.
"What are you? A tree hugger or something?" He asked.
"Would you still like me even if I was?" She asked challengingly.
"Maybe, if you weren't the type to go up to a forest and lay in front of a bulldozer," he joked.
Sara chuckled.
"Well, I'm not a tree hugger," she said. "I was just wondering about that. Completely random thought."
They sipped at their coffee in comfortable silence before looking at the menu.
"Have you ever tried the Fiesta Breakfast?" Vartan asked.
"No," Sara said. "Is it any good?"
"Yeah," he said. "But this place had to get some better tasting chorizo."
"It has meat?" Sara asked, grimacing.
"Yeah," he said. "Oh, you're vegetarian aren't you Sidle?"
She smiled.
"Yeah," she chuckled. "And, it's Sara."
He looked up at her from the menu and grinned.
"Alex," he said.
They held each other's gaze for a moment before looking back at the menus.
"I think I'll have the vegetarian omelet," Sara said.
"I'm getting the Fiesta Breakfast," Alex said. "But nothing compares to my mother's cooking. She always made the most delicious scrambled eggs and tamales for breakfast when I was a kid. I'm surprised I'm not about a hundred pounds overweight right now."
"Are you Mexican?" Sara asked.
"Yeah," he said. "What are you?"
"Well it's complicated," she said. "Large family."
"Yeah, mine too," he said. "But we all live here in Nevada. Every Sunday after mass, we have dinner together. It's wild."
Sara laughed.
"I can imagine," she said. "But you're lucky to have such a large family so close."
She didn't like talking about her family that much. She had finally gotten up the courage to divulge to Grissom a little about her family and the struggles she'd been having with them over the years.
"I gather you don't like talking to them too much," he guessed.
"No, it's not that," she said, not believing that she was sharing this much about herself. "We were never close, even when I was a kid."
"I'm sorry," he said solemnly.
"Don't be," she said, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter anymore."
Alex spoke no more of the matter deciding that talking about her family was a rather touchy subject.
They ordered their breakfasts then sat in silence again.
Sara glanced at Alex every few seconds or so, sometimes catching his glances.
He's handsome, she decided. Actually, he's quite sexy. He's cute when he's at a loss for words. Is he even interested in seeing me beyond this? So far we have large families in common and we have sort of the same occupation.
, she decided."I'm going house hunting after breakfast," Sara started nervously. "You can come if you want, I mean, you don't have to-"
"Sure," Alex said with a grin. "What kind of house are you looking at?"
"Oh, just a one story," she explained. "But I've lived in a studio apartment for the last five years and it's getting crowded."
"I know what you mean," he said. "When I first moved out of my mom's house, I lived in the smallest one bedroom apartment on the planet. But I found myself a nice little house that was livable. My wife never liked it though."
Sara smiled a bit thinking about whether or not she should ask him about his first wife. They had revealed so much about each other already, what difference did it make?
"Um, do you ever miss your ex-wife?" Sara asked, immediately looking away from him.
Alex shrugged.
"Sometimes," he said. "When I think about the good times we had, yeah, I miss her. But my first wife was just…she wanted more than what I could give her."
"How long were you married?" Sara asked.
"Seven years," he said. "On our sixth anniversary, she told me that she had been seeing another man and that she was pregnant by him."
Sara's eyes widened.
"Oh my God, that must have been heartbreaking," she said sympathetically.
"But, I forgave her and stayed with her," he said. "Ironically, she asked for a divorce because she thought that I didn't do enough for her."
Sara felt the anger swell within her. How could people hurt the ones they loved the most. No one deserved such hurt in their lives.
"You must have loved her very much," Sara said.
"I did," he said. "But, I guess we weren't meant to be. She married the father of her child. She seems much happier now."
Sara sighed.
"I've never been married, but I've been cheated on a few times," Sara said. "Why can't people be honest? I mean, if that person really loved you, they would just tell the truth, no matter how painful the truth is."
Alex knew about the rocky relationship between she and Grissom. He knew, through office gossip, that she had feelings for Grissom. Alex opted against broaching that subject.
Me and Sara have sort of a good thing going here, he thought to himself. This may be a new part of life for both of us.
, he thought to himself.The waiter brought their breakfasts to them. Sara picked at her eggs, now unappetizing because of her nervousness around Alex. She was also excited about looking at houses that she might want to buy. She took a few bites of her meal before sipping at her coffee.
Alex noticed her lack of appetite as he forked some more of his breakfast.
"I thought you were hungry?" He asked.
"I thought so too, but I guess my eyes were bigger than my stomach," she chuckled.
He grinned at her statement and stared deep into her eyes.
"Alex," Sara began. "You don't have any reservations about whatever this is between us do you?"
"No," he said. "Do you?"
"No," Sara said. "I haven't done this in a while, so I'm just a little nervous."
"We'll take this slowly," Alex said.
He reached across the table and rested his hand on her own. Shivers ran up her spine at their contact, and she delighted in that. She felt surges of feelings she hadn't felt in a while, and looking into his eyes, she saw the same effect taking hold of him as well. They both pulled their hands away slowly, savoring the contact.
Sara and Alex's steps echoed through the empty house as they decided to take their own tour rather than follow the real estate agent, who was frantic and maddeningly perky. Sara just marveled at the house instead of the agent's impossible happiness.
She liked the high ceilings, the spacious formal and family living areas, the kitchen, and the windows were beautiful. The bedrooms were all reasonably sized, and she especially liked the master bathroom. Being a woman partial to bath salts and scented shampoos and candles, the huge bathroom was a Godsend. It had a deep tub, big enough for two, a shower stall next to it, complete with seats and a detachable shower head. She was slowly falling in love with the house and it was only the second one she was looking at.
Alex had digressed into the backyard, and there was a large window that allowed Sara to see him outside. He had both hands in his pockets, and he was looking around the yard with what looked to be an expression of possibilities. Sara didn't picture him as the outdoorsy type, though. He seemed intensely private and rebellious, like herself.
Sara finally caught up with the agent, and smiled in appreciation for the tour, even though she had missed some important features about the house, like the home theater below in the den. Alex eventually came back into the house and wandered back to where Sara was.
"How did you like the house?" He asked. "Does it suit you?"
"Nah, it's a little too big for one person," Sara rationalized. "A nice, smaller, starter home would be nice."
They both thanked the realtor and headed out.
He opened the door for her and then proceeded to drive her home.
There was little conversation between them, both contemplating what was next in their new friendship.
"Well, this is me," Sara said. "Thanks for a great morning."
"You're welcome," Alex said. "I'll call you. Or you can call me, whichever you prefer."
Sara smiled at his indecision about the phone calling.
As if some force of nature moved over them, they leaned in closer for a tender, quick kiss before Sara pulled back and grinned.
"See you later," she whispered.