Title: Trepidation of the Spheres
Author: Isabelle Ashe
Pairings: Daniel/Janet, tiny bit of Sam/Jack
Keywords: alternate universe, character death (kind of), angst, happy ending (don't worry!)
Spoilers: 2010
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Instead of ceasing to exist after "2010," Janet inexplicably finds herself in an alternative universe where she is offered a kind of second chance.
Disclaimer: I don't own them and therefore am not profiting from them.
Author's Notes: I am offering this fic in response to Little Red's poetry challenge on the DanandJan list, because I am emphatically in favor of spreading good poetry around. I love John Donne's "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning," and it seemed to fit this story somewhat. I will warn the Donne uninitiated, however, that he is quite a difficult poet, though he intensely rewards the effort it takes to read him. Enjoy!
A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
John Donne
As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
'The breath goes now,' and some say, 'No,'
So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.
Moving of the earth brings harms and fears,
Men reckon what it did and meant;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.
Dull sublunary lovers' love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.
But we, by a love so much refined
That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.
Our two souls, therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion.
Like gold to airy thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two:
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if the other do;
And though it in the center sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like the other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.
Our Universe, 2010
Janet focused on the open wormhole in front of her. Don't look back again, she repeated to herself, knowing that catching Daniel's eye for another moment would make her lose her nerve. Her lips still tingled with his final kiss, and their last conversation still rang in her ears.
"I wish it didn't have to be this way," she had murmured into his chest.
"Maybe we're giving our former selves a second chance. Hopefully they'll get their act together sooner than we did."
"I love you." The first and last time she said it to him.
"I love you, too."
As she approached the ramp, she couldn't resist, and glanced over her shoulder, waving briefly. Then, focusing on the task before her, their only chance to change the past, she walked steadfastly ahead.
Alternative Universe, 2010
"Unauthorized Incoming Traveler." General Hammond sighed loudly as he heard the words over the PA. He pulled himself up from his desk to see what the matter was. Due to a political schmoozing event the day before, none of his teams were off-world at the moment, and he couldn't imagine who would be incoming.
"Who is it?" he asked the technician.
"Um, there's no iris code, sir, but the coordinates are from Chulak." General Hammond sighed again, considering quickly what he should do as he heard the footsteps of his 2IC approaching.
"What's going on, sir?" asked Colonel Carter as she peered at the screen.
"Incoming traveler from Chulak, Colonel. No code."
"Ry'ac?" she asked doubtfully. Surely he wouldn't have lost his GDO.
The General shook his head, but his gut told him to let the traveler through. He'd have a hard time explaining this later if it turned out to be Anubis.
"Airmen, stand by. Open the iris," he ordered.
"Sir?" inquired Carter.
Hammond just shrugged. "My instinct says it's okay," he told her. She nodded, evidently agreeing. He was definitely getting too old for this, but he had been told in no uncertain terms that the powers that be just didn't consider Carter experienced enough yet to be promoted to General and put in charge of the SGC. Since O'Neill's retirement, there was no one else Hammond would trust with the job, so he was determined to stay on until he could pass command to Carter.
They both turned their attention to the open iris and the exposed wormhole. Half a dozen soldiers stood with automatic weapons trained on it, and Hammond could hear footsteps behind him as more personnel gathered to watch. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dr. Tharp and his medical team standing by. A moment later, a lone figure stepped through the gate.
"Oh my god!" gasped Carter. Hammond blinked twice to make sure his eyes weren't failing him.
"Drop your weapons and identify yourself!" barked one of the machine gun-toting airmen. The traveler stared around her in shock and confusion. When she didn't respond, the airman repeated his order in what was designed to be a more menacing tone; he, however, looked as though he were seeing a ghost.
"I don't have any weapons," said the traveler after a hesitation. "And I thought you would know who I am: Major Doctor Janet Fraiser, formerly of the SGC."
"Impossible!" breathed a voice behind Carter. She was inclined to agree; Janet had been killed in action almost two months ago right in front of her eyes, yet here she was standing in the gate room. Her brain began to churn for a way to explain this.
"Alternate universe!" she exclaimed. Hammond turned to look at her with vague confusion. "She must be from an alternate universe, sir," Carter explained. "Remember ten or twelve years ago when Daniel accidentally went through that quantum mirror? Maybe she did the same thing." Hammond nodded.
"Airmen, stand down." They lowered their weapons. "Dr. Fraiser, I'm ordering you to the infirmary to make sure you're not a threat to my base, but first, can you please explain yourself?"
Janet stared around her, sure she was suffering from sensory overload. It was the SGC, more or less as it had been ten years ago, before it had been disbanded, before the Aschen. Yet it was different, as well. As the airmen lowered the guns they had trained on her, several figures approached her. The first she recognized immediately as General Hammond, though her brain had trouble processing the information that he was alive and walking toward her. He looked considerably older than she remembered him. On his heels was Sam, and Janet's momentary relief at seeing her wavered as she saw the shocked and dubious look on her friend's face.
"Dr. Fraiser?" prompted the General. Explain herself? Janet couldn't figure out what in the world was going on.
"Uh, I don't have any idea how I got here. Or where here is, exactly. The SGC hasn't looked like this for years. And, Sir, you, uh, died of a heart attack a couple of years ago. Unless—oh, God, what if we changed the past and this is what happened. Have you ever heard of the Aschen? Or P4C-970?" Sam and the General continued to look confused.
"Janet, we're guessing you came from an alternate universe," broke in Sam, her voice shaking slightly. "Do you remember a quantum mirror or anything like that?" Janet replayed the past few hours in her head.
"No, nothing like that," she answered slowly. "We were trying to save Earth. We had to send a note back in time to warn our former selves not to visit a certain planet. Sam—uh, the other Sam, I guess—theorized that if we were successful we would cease to exist and our former selves would just continue from the point at which we received the note. That would have been 2001, if everything worked out right. I went to Chulak to get Teal'c, and I was just standing near their Stargate, and suddenly I was in a wormhole and ended up here. I have no idea what's going on." As she spoke, she felt her emotions rising, and she struggled to keep the blind panic out of her voice. She had convinced herself that she was ready to cease to exist, but never in her wildest imaginings had she expected to end up in another universe where things were quite possibly "off" enough to be irritating. And, of course, instead of being quickly and hopefully painlessly obliterated, she would die here of entropic cascade failure within a couple of days.
General Hammond studied her with a concerned expression and then motioned with one hand. "Dr. Tharp," he said to the man who approached, "please take, uh, Dr. Fraiser to the infirmary." The doctor looked vaguely familiar—perhaps five or eight years younger than herself, attractive, African-American—but Janet couldn't quite place him.
"Who are you?" she asked. He looked alarmed at her question.
"Dr. Steven Tharp. I'm the CMO here now."
Janet digested that information for a moment. "What about me? I mean, the me of this universe." All three of her auditors glanced at each other and then at the floor. Finally, Sam spoke.
"Janet, you were, I mean, our Janet was killed in action about two months ago."