'What in the hell is wrong with me!' Sesshoumaru thought while the windshield wipers swished against the wet glass, clearing it of the excess water. Sesshoumaru did not care to know when the rain began to fall, and belittled himself for letting his guard slip so easily. ' I just kissed her back, there wasn't even coherent thought; I just did…' The scene was replayed through Sesshoumaru's mind tirelessly, and the more he analyzed the more confused he became. With a sudden screech of his breaks in the falling rain, Sesshoumaru avoided veering off of the road and hitting a large tree. His heart beating fast inside his chest, Sesshoumaru stated in therapy of the madness,
"Get a hold of yourself. All you did was kiss her! Just pay attention to the road and get home!" After saying this, Sesshoumaru backed up onto the road and continued the drive home.
Kagura tried to count the dots on the ceiling, but it failed to help her sleep. The damn sheep never worked before, so she determined not to call on their aid. Her brain had been so bombarded with emotions that Kagura was unable to sleep, but for the sake of avoiding responsibility she decided to blame Naraku's party.
Eventually even that quieted down, and Kagura became dutifully aware of her responsibilities dictated in the by-laws. Normally she would have proceeded downstairs, but Sesshoumaru brought out a good point when he stated the blatant unfairness of the very system.
'Yet another fucking thing to mull over…' Kagura bitched while she lost count of the dots at 40. Thinking did not become Kagura this tiring, confusing night.
Sesshoumaru, upon pulling into the driveway realized that he had left the Kagewaki Estate without retrieving the money from Naraku. Chuckling lightly at the situation, Sesshoumaru hit the steering wheel and shut of the car's engine by turning the ignition key. When he got out of the car, the rain hit Sesshoumaru in a fury and he slammed the door shut. Although Sesshoumaru was somewhat muted by the rain, he vigorously complained,
"Just my luck!" And quickly entered the plain home, soaked from the rains.
Upon entering he was met by his stepmother, who was updating her newspaper column at the dinning room table.
"Oh, you're home. I wasn't expecting you for another half an hour." She said, slightly confused. Sesshoumaru nodded, and his working stepmother continued to speak, "Inuyasha's still out, I'll wait up for him if you don't want to."
"I don't care." Sesshoumaru simply said, his mind preoccupied.
"Neither do I, but since you have a valedictory speech to deliver tomorrow and quite a day ahead of you, I think it would be best if you got some rest." She than said, slightly irritated by their inability to communicate after so many years. Shrugging his shoulders, Sesshoumaru walked toward the staircase, adrift in his present train of thought. His stepmother looked to her retreating son in mild frustration, and then continued updating her column.
Morning came far too early for Kagura, who finally fell asleep at the ungodly hour of 2:30 AM. She awoke to the raised voices of her mother and father, who had both just returned from a weekend getaway to Chicago.
"Naraku! Kagura! Get both of your asses down here!" They yelled in unison. Kagura could hear Naraku grumble slightly, muttering unknown curses and she said,
" Shit, I forgot to clean-up." Naraku, who was still too hung over to actually communicate, literally tumbled out of his room, while Kagura herself rushed to find a decent shirt in the promotion of modesty. In a moment that seemed more prudent in the military, the two elder siblings stood in a straight line, waiting to be fully reprimanded. Their staunchly conservative father began with Naraku and hollered,
"Your mother and I take a brief vacation, and then come back to this mess! What do you have to say for yourself?" Kagura looked over to her brother, who looked more confused than Kanna did, and he tried to sputter out a few words,
"I—I---" Mr. Kagewaki glared at Naraku, beckoning him to continue and Naraku conveniently puked. This did not help his case, and Mr. Kagewaki moved to Kagura.
"Since your brother seems mentally deficient at this point, please, please explain what happened?" Kagura grimaced slightly, noticing her father's obviously gritted teeth and replied,
"It's a delicate situation, but---"
"But?"
"But, Naraku has been secretly holding parties whenever you and mom go out of town." Kagura very honestly explained. This did not ease her father's mood and Kagura bit her lip in anticipation of the next question,
"How did I not know about this!" Kagura nodded, pursing her lips together,
'Shit, now I have to tell him about the bylaws.' She thought, than said, "I've been covering for Naraku since I was a seventh grader by deleting the events on the security cameras." That seemed to ignite Mr. Kagewaki more than the mess itself and in calculated maliciousness he questioned,
"This has been going on for how many years?"
"Four."
"Four?" Kagura nodded in reply, and Mr. Kagewaki took in a deep breath. Faintly hearing him count to ten, Kagura chuckled slightly and her father suddenly exploded, "For four years Naraku has been trashing up this house and you, the one I trusted the most, have been covering up for him! You are never going to leave this house again!" Kagura shut her eyes in response, and looked for her brother who was puking in the nearby bathroom, that was the straw that broke the camels back.
"And while Naraku has been puking his fucking guts out every single weekend for the last four years, suddenly as the forced conspirator you explode at me. The monkey is in the bathroom that still smells like pot, puking his guts out. Yet I am the villain. You and mom haven't even cared for four fucking years. Cared? Hell, you haven't even been in our lives! All you've been doing is going on business trips, I had to survive in a household that never cared if I lived or died and if it meant covering up for that monkey of a brother, I was willing to do it!" Mr. Kagewaki threatened to slap her, then declined,
"Your mother and I are going upstairs to clean up and unpack, you have a half-hour to get this cleaned up. If you don't, Hell will be a distant dream." Kagura nodded, not breaking eye contact. As soon as her parents were safely upstairs, Kagura cursed,
"Fuck, fuckity, fuck!" She glanced sideways at the door to the bathroom, and yelled, "Monkey, if you want this mess cleaned you better help me!" Naraku rose from the crystalline toilet bowl, a sly smirk clad his features.
"Peach, Dad's pissed at you, but thanks for covering for me." He said, and Kagura grimaced and stalked to the kitchen, muttering little nothings.
Sesshoumaru had a good nights sleep, despite his scene with Kagura and felt fully prepared for his valedictory speech. The only thing that could have topped his day thus far was a sunny sky, but instead rain and dark clouds dominated it. Wandering out into the busy hall, Sesshoumaru saw his household rushed. His stepmother chased down Shippou, who had wet his bed for the third time that week, and Inuyasha could be seen in his pit of a room with one leg hanging off the side of the bed.
"Graduation," Sesshoumaru said with a happy sigh, "The word sounds so smooth to my ears."
"Honey!" His stepmother yelled to Mr. Inuyokai, her husband, "Get Inuyasha up! We need to get a good seat in the gymnasium." However, Mr. Inuyokai was not even awake yet and complained,
"The boy is 16, he can get himself up." Mrs. Inuyokai sighed and walked toward Inuyasha's room.
"Inuyasha, get up!" She only heard a muffled reply, and moaned aloud. Mrs. Inuyokai truly hated mornings.
Kagura had finished cleaning up the downstairs in the allotted time, with little help from Naraku, and finally had the chance to improve her own appearance before the graduation ceremony, not that she cared either way. Walking out of the shower, a white towel wrapped around her slim body, Kagura noted the weather.
'Rain, I've always liked rain,' she thought, and ran a hand through her wet hair, pulling the damp strands from her face. Kagura tread to the window and peered through the blinds. The rain fell at a slant, and Kagura grinned. After brief observation, Kagura left the vicinity of the window and began rummaging through her drawers for a suitable outfit to wear at her brother's ceremony.
"It really shouldn't matter," Kagura began, in a monologue, "why does my brother care if I dress decently for his graduation, he'll be too busy getting congratulated… for whatever he achieved in that dump," Kagura put a pair of black dress pants against her body, and shook her head slightly, before throwing the pants on her unmade bed. "Sesshoumaru will be there and I don't…. what does it matter if Sesshoumaru will be there? Like I care what he thinks…." Kagura walked toward her closet and examined her supply of shirts. Finally she picked an out of season blouse, after scrutinizing the shirt she tossed the garment aside, and sifted through more clothing.
Kagura's eyes strayed to the rain-blotched window, and peered through the blinds,
"God, that rain is tempting…." She noted and pulled an oversized sweatshirt over her head. Kagura walked toward the window, lifting the blinds that existed between the panes of glass by a pulley system. A smile adorned her features as she Kagura watched the beauteous sight of the cascading rain. No longer able to withhold from her desires, Kagura gave into temptation and opened her window. The draft from the outside wind cooled the room significantly and Kagura shivered. After removing the screen from the window, she tentatively lifted both legs out of the window and sat happily on the ledge. Rain ricocheted from the gutters and fell onto Kagura's pale legs. She relished the feeling that it created.
Naraku suddenly burst into the room, his voice raised to an uncalled for decibel,
"Kagura, have you seen my fucking cap and gown!" Nearly falling out of the window before regaining her ground, Kagura replied,
"Fuck no." Naraku glared at Kagura, in both confusion and anger.
"Bitch, what the fuck are you doing out the window…gonna jump out and rid the world of its misery?"
"Fuck you." And with Kagura's interjection the conversation ended. Naraku left the room and Kagura to her own devices.
Back at the Inuyokai home, the typical morning rush was intensified by the preparation for Sesshoumaru's graduation ceremony.
"Sesshoumaru!" Mrs. Inuyokai yelled at Sesshoumaru, looking innocently bored leaning against the wall.
"Yea." He replied simply, suppressing an inevitable morning yawn.
" Wake up your brother." She requested and began busying herself with another task. Sesshoumaru nodded, and walked up the narrow staircase. After flinging open Inuyasha's bedroom door violently, he glared at his slob of a brother.
"Inuyasha…wake up." Sesshoumaru stated. This had no effect and Sesshoumaru determined it was best if he just turned the on the lights in his brother's bedroom. This did produce a response.
"Fuck! It's a Saturday, I can sleep in all fucking day!" Inuyasha grumbled as he rolled off of the bed and onto the clothes littered floor. Sesshoumaru found no need to reply and walked back downstairs.
All Kagura could feel was the anxious anxiety of the moment tensing about her. Every fiber of Kagura's being; from the laced combat boots that adorned her feet to the vintage style army dress radiated with that fear and longing. The repetitious Pomp and Circumstance proved a rhythm for her pulse to follow since she had nearly lost her own when Sesshoumaru stood proudly on the auditorium stage.
"My fellow Graduates, we've finally made it to the long awaited day. We've surpassed our teacher's pseudo-knowledge they filled our impressionable minds to the brink with and now we are very dangerous when left to our own devices. The real lesson of High School, the one that we're supposed to know, is that we can achieve anything despite how much sleep we don't get.
I entered these halls with all of you, and I will leave with you. I will se very few of you ever again, and instead of rambling on about our so-called capabilities as a generation, or how my heart will ache the moment I realize I won't see the Class of 2004. Simply, I won't.
Some of us will go on to be multi-billionaires, others will travel the world with the Navy, and still others will die on the street alone and injected full of cocaine. But, whatever your fate may be, I bid you all a very fond farewell." So the caps flew, and the graduates cried for joy. Parents were congratulating and crying. Yet, Sesshoumaru would find no peace.
However, this time, no prepared speeches or half-thought conclusions could have assisted Sesshoumaru in the moment of cap's flight. While other students celebrated freedom of a life of High School regularity, Sesshoumaru had one more chapter of his life to close before he could dream of moving on, Kagura and what might've been.
Kagura resented the moment, already knowing what Sesshoumaru would say to her. Having no actual desire to discuss the issue, yet knowing it had to be done. She stood, alone and silent awaiting the verdict like a cursed man awaits his portion. On the verge of isolation and nothingness she would stand.
"Kagura," Sesshoumaru breathed, sounding soft and tender to her anxious ears. She raised her head awkwardly, and could not speak. Kagura did not need to speak; Sesshoumaru already knew what she was thinking. Kagura nodded and attempting to smile, Kagura struggled to say,
"Congratulations." Sesshoumaru thanked her in the same manner he had said her name, and walked towards Kagura.
"There's a lot I'd like to say to you," Sesshoumaru began his prepared speech, but paused, unable to complete the rest of it. His tongue seemed to large and his voice faltered.
"If you say it now, you'll make things much easier on me and you. In fact, I'll say it for you." Kagura stated, getting defensive in her impending doom. She shook away the fear and glared at Sesshoumaru. Nervous as well, he barked,
"You're not making this any easier." Kagura demanded, as a reaction to Sesshoumaru's arrogance,
"Oh, and you have no consideration for my feelings! Yet, I should make you rejecting me easy, you're so full of shit!" Sesshoumaru in his turn retorted,
"But Kagura…!" Kagura looked at Sesshoumaru and in calculated rage, like a caged animal, spoke wildly,
"You can never let go! Your damn pride, goals and every other fucking thing!" Kagura stalked away, showing Sesshoumaru her back.
"I'm sorry Kagura, but there is no logical conclusion. We didn't meet at the right time and there is no more time to deny it." Sesshoumaru stated without bitterness.
"You, Naraku, and my parents are sorry! Everyone's fucking sorry, but what good is it to be sorry? Do you honestly to expect me to forgive you? Can you be that delusional?" Kagura declared wildly. Sesshoumaru,in an attempt to calm Kagura, placed his hands lightly upon her shoulders and graced her cheek with his lips.
"That's all I can be, like it or not, and I never don't expect forgiveness." Sesshoumaru attempted to say without a cold note in his voice. Kagura rebuffed his compassion for her situation, and his descending lips. She tore herself away from Sesshoumaru and lamented,
" I don't expect anything. I never have expected much and I never should hope to such a dream. When you came along, I could have sworn my luck was changing for the better. I am such an idiot! You are like every other self-centered human being. Magnetic or not, I can't believe I fell for it."
"Kagura, will you at least listen!" Sesshoumaru emoted, trying to catch Kagura's fleeing figure with his words.
"And to hear what? That I am just a 'high schooler' and that I don't understand. I don't need to hear that speech, Sesshoumaru, so fuck you and have a nice life." Kagura said with bitterness and continued walking away from Sesshoumaru.
He would leave her then and not follow. He half-heartedly returned to the eager congratulations of his relations and friends, but his eye's strayed to Kagura's retreating figure, silent beside her family. Back to her cool and emotionless façade, she would again be a shade. To Kagura's credit, she was no longer an empty, unoffending shade. No longer would eyes merely glaze over her, a second after thought in a world of moments. She had grown to bewitch with her angry glare and pass daringly among the world living. Beautiful, but forbidden fruit of the Spirit World was what Kagura had morphed into. The angry and lamentable figure in a darkened attic.
And life would hence endure…
The End!
Well, reviewing friends, the fiction finally has been completed. Hard to believe, huh? If the ending left you dissatisfied…I don't care… I wrote this how I saw fit when the muse would descend. Please remember to review!