Last Chapter:

"XiaoLang, I'm sorry. It's just so hard, ever since your father's death I've been alone. You and your sisters seem to have emotionally gone far away from me, it's like I was never your mother, like it was not me who gave birth to you. It feels like you do not love me."

Syaoran looked down, he felt guilty beyond expectations. He tried to search for words of reassurance that he could say to her but none came to his mind. He looked up, looked at her and saw that she silently crying. Suddenly he felt disgusted, not at himself but her. Syaoran thought it was an act, yes an act to make him feel guilty and turn him into the good boy she always wanted.

He snorted, "I don't. I don't love you at all, in fact I hate you. I've always hated you. Now if you don't mind I'll go to my room mother."

Syaoran walked up to the stairs without a single glance back at her. If he had just looked back, he would have seen the never ending sorrow in his mother's eyes. He would have seen her weaker that she has ever been. 'What human can live without love' Yelan thought as she turned to the window with tearful eyes 'I certainly can't. Why did you leave me XiaoLong, I need you more than I ever did before. How can I live without love, how can I?' Shedding a single tear she turned away from the window to retire in her own room. #

# Ryuu greeted her straight away and she replied with a smile. She then looked at Syaoran and smiled, Syaoran just looked back at her before leaning over the wall with his eyes closed. Ryuu and Sakura started up a conversation, they seemed to have hit it off which annoyed Syaoran somehow. He glared at Ryuu when he made Sakura laugh. He overheard some words like 'beautiful' 'angel' 'date'. The last word angered him. But he was soon relieved when Sakura politely turned Ryuu down.#

# Syaoran turned around and walked in the opposite direction and was glad he did. Sakura was lying on the floor, paler than his own mother (who had given a new level of the word pale), and sweating like Syaoran had never seen. He ran to her side and wiped some of the sweat. He picked her up, making sure he was being careful, the bag still in his hand.#

# Syaoran and the other two boys watched as Tomoyo put the needle back into Sakura's bag. She took the compress and wiped Sakura's forehead, her eyes sadly looked at Sakura's limp form. She walked up to Syaoran and embraced him.

"Thanks, she could have... she could have died and you saved her. Thank you."#

# The song ended and nothing was heard. Kitsune kept Tima in his arm, the feeling felt nice and though the song ended he didn't want it to end with it too. Tima didn't make a movement to move herself out of Kitsune's grasp so he supposed it was ok. He looked down at Tima who looked up at him. She was smiling; she did that a lot, especially around him. Kitsune couldn't help himself anymore; he bent his head down and kissed her. Tima's eyes widened before she closed them in bliss, it was better than she had ever imagined.

Once out of breath, they parted. Tima giggled once more, it had felt like she was traversing the universe, like she was flying without wings. Kitsune had to admit that was the best kiss he ever had, the best he ever experience. If that was her first (which it just happened to be) they she was a natural and boy would she be even better with a little more practise.

Kitsune took Tima's hand, "Sooooooo..."

Tima smiled and swung their hands about, "Sooooooo what?"

Kitsune laughed and kissed Tima once, she was addictive, a little bit too much but he wasn't complaining and neither was Tima who returned the kiss with as much passion as was given by Hanatori Kitsune. Tima and Kitsune realized something, she was his weakness and he was hers.#

#"Ne, Kinomoto –"

"My name's Sakura."

"Sakura, how come you did what you did this morning. I mean what happened?"

Sakura looked down, "It's an unknown illness. There's no cure, only something that makes it all better for a while. My mother had it and she died from it, it was difficult for her to give children but she did it. She was a model too. Stronger than me, I'm not sure my dreams can come true because of this illness. I wanna try but it's so hard. I guess I'll just have to put up with it ne?

Syaoran took Sakura's chin with his thumb and brought her face upwards. She was crying. Syaoran brushed away her tears and gave her a hug, she seemed so strong the previous day and yet she was so fragile. Sakura's body shook as she sobbed, Syaoran didn't move. Sakura finished after a while; she looked up at Syaoran and gave him another angelic smile.

"Thanks again. I'm sorry about earlier I wasn't thinking and I shouldn't have said the things I said."

Syaoran smiled, "Its fine, and you can call me Syaoran by the way. I owe you that much."

Sakura grinned, "So are we friends?"

Syaoran shook his head in exasperation, "You're on the way there."#

The Choir Girl

Chapter Four: Easier to Run

By EvilxDarkxSorceress

Fear. When I was child I was afraid of a lot of things but it isn't until when I grew up what the real meaning of this word was. It has a different meaning for different people. For me it's him, well I say him but I really mean something else. Surely everyone is afraid of it, not just me. But it's taken almost everything from me and each and every day it can't wait to take me. I know I need help but from whom? Fear, such a small word with such a big meaning. Can't live with it, can't live without it.

Sakura slowly walked back to her house, thoughts about Syaoran in her head. He had been so kind to her and had saved her life. She owed him a lot. She quietly hummed to herself, thinking about him. When her brother had left her to sleep near the stairs she'd felt so alone. She knew he wanted her to understand but she didn't. Even Kero ran away from home. No, he didn't run away from home, he ran away from her. Sakura looked down, her brother and her cat didn't love her.

Sakura sighed and shook her head, she was tired of herself and of her life. She was tired of the fact that everyone she loved was taken away from her. That afternoon at the Christmas assembly, when Syaoran had looked down to her she saw something in his eyes and she knew he had seen the thing in her eyes. The sadness of not being loved enough, the sadness of being alone in heart. She'd seen it before, in her own eyes. In the morning when she stared at herself, it would torment her. And every morning the process would begin once again, the nightmare would come and she would wake up, she'd looked at herself in the mirror and feel tormented.

Sakura arrived at her house, she got her keys out of her bag and put them in the lock. As she did so the door slightly pushed open. A cold wind knocked Sakura and she already knew what had happened. She ran inside letting her purse fall on the ground. Sakura ran upstairs and went to the bathroom, her eyes became blank at the sight. Her brother on the floor, white liquid coming out of his mouth, his eyes rolled backwards.

Sakura slowly turned her back on him and went back down the stairs, she slowly took the phone and put the receiver on her ear. Her fingers automatically dialled the emergency number as if they'd been doing it for long. Sakura talked emotionlessly on the phone at the operator. She noticed Kero, her cat, cuddling on her leg and when the operator told her that an ambulance was coming she put the phone down and took Kero in her arms. Sakura went to sit on the porch until the ambulance came which was five minutes later. They thought she was in shock so they looked for Touya themselves. Sakura watched as they took Touya's body on a stretcher in the big ambulance van.

"Miss, you should go to a friend's house or something. You can't stay here."

Sakura looked up and the person backed away. She nodded and went back into her house. She looked out of a window and watched as the ambulance took her dead brother's corpse away. 'Another one, they all leave me.' Sakura thought. She looked down at her cat, 'Soon you'll leave me too.' Sakura let Kero get off of her, she walked up to the stairs to her room and locked herself in. She went to the side of her bed and curled into a ball, the tears started streaming down once again, just as they did the day before. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep but the sight of her brother in OD (Overdose) was in her mind. She screamed in pain, she was afraid, everything had fallen apart. She was alone.

Syaoran was about to enter his house when a gush of cold wind passed through. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. Shaking his head he entered his house. He greeted their family butler, Wei and searched for his mother. He found her in the lounge room, signing some papers. 'Probably about Li Corp.' he thought. He sat down and waited patiently for his mother to finish. When she did, Yelan looked at him with a 'tell me what you want' look. Syaoran sat next to her. He had thought about this while he was waiting for Sakura to wake up after he'd told her to rest and he knew he was wrong.

"Okaa-san, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking properly yesterday and I didn't mean what I said. I don't hate you, in fact I love you dearly. It's just that it hasn't been hard just for you when dad died, it was hard for me too. And I didn't want anyone to know I guess but I should have told you. I'm sorry."

Yelan smiled and took Syaoran in her arms. They talked that night and did a little, mother son bondage. Syaoran smiled a lot, a lot more than he had ever in his house ever since his dad died. Somehow, he knew it was thanks to Sakura. She helped him somehow, of course she didn't know. Syaoran was going to make sure that he thanked her when they saw each other the next day. After bonding with his mother, Syaoran went to his room and decided to ask Ryuu a few question. He was trying to get close to Sakura, Syaoran could feel it.

- Moshi moshi, Hanatori house, Kitsune speaking and I don't care who you are it better be important cause I have a girl to call. -

"Since when do you have a girlfriend Kitsune?"

- Oh, it's you Wolf. Well, since yesterday when I lost you by trying to follow you.

"Oh, it's that Tima girl isn't it? –Kitsune chuckles- Any who, can I talk to Ryuu?"

- Sure, Bro get your ass down here. Wolf wants to speak to you.

- Yo, wassup?

"Hey I need to ask you a few questions. It's about Sakura."

- Sure, did she talk to ya about me?

"No, I'll go straight to the point. Do you like her?"

- ............

"Hello?"

- Why do you wanna know? Is that another one you can take?

"Excuse me?"

- Oh please, girls fall head over heels for you Syaoran. What, can't let one of those who have brain not to fall to your friend?

"That's not... and you know that I haven't been on a date for god knows how long."

- Yea, but I know you like it when all those girls like. It makes you feel good doesn't it? Look Sakura's mine so back off XiaoLang Li.

Ryuu hung up on Syaoran who never knew he felt like that. Syaoran stared at the phone and concluded that he would talk to him tomorrow. Syaoran sighed and changed to go to bed, thought about Sakura invaded his mind once again it was weird how he couldn't stop thinking about her. He smiled, just thinking about her gently smile and fell asleep.

Next Day, School. (Wednesday)

Syaoran looked around and saw Duo with a sad weary face, next to him was a guy Syaoran had never seen before. The guy had Black chocolate like hair and Prussian blue eyes, piercing and cold. Syaoran waited for them to catch up to him which they did after a while. They arrived in front of Syaoran who rose up an eyebrow seeing how Duo yawned so much.

"Hey Syaoran, this is Heero. He was my neighbour before I moved here. If you're wondering why I'm so tired it's because he kept me all night with his sarcasm."

Syaoran extended a hand, "Syaoran Li."

Heero took it and shook it, "Heero Yuy."

Syaoran smiled, "Gave Duo a bad time? We're already friends."

Heero laughed and sat down on a nearby bench, Syaoran next t him. Duo said he was going to look for the other guys.

Syaoran turned to Heero, "So what brings you to this little town?"

Heero frowned and leaned back, "I don't know really, it's a feeling. Something's drawing me here."

Syaoran didn't quite understand what Heero was saying so he just let it go. He didn't noticed Heero looking at him intensely, he didn't notice the way Heero's eyes seem to sadden as they were directed to the sky. Something was wrong, Heero felt it. He got up and leaned against a sakura tree. His mind was diverted to something that he shouldn't have been thinking of, a dove.

Syaoran looked up as Heero stood up to lean against the tree. He didn't quite understand him; there was something strange about the new guy. But he had bigger problems, like his unknown feelings for the emerald eyed songstress and one of his best friends currently hating him. Everything became strange after the damn incident during the assembly, Syaoran's life became weird. There was something that was bothering Syaoran too, if Sakura's brother took drugs, did she too? Syaoran felt the need to protect her. The day before she had shown a part of her she probably didn't show to a lot of people. Syaoran expected her to have only told her best friend.

Syaoran held his hand with both hands, everything was so weird. He'd never felt so disturbed before and especially not by a girl. He'd never had his best friend against him because of a girl and he certainly had never gone five days without listening to Linkin Park's music to sooth him. It might have been a bad choice of relaxing music to everyone else but to him it was, well, relaxing.

Syaoran stood up, "I'm going, not in the mood for school today. Tell the others I'll see them tomorrow."

Heero nodded as Syaoran headed off. Heero snorted and sat back down, it was obvious to him that either Syaoran had problems at home or he was in love with a girl, maybe even both. Heero sighed and took his CD player from his pocket and took and Linkin Park CD. He put it in and waited a bit for it to process. He pressed some button until the right song came, Easier to Run.

Sakura stood up from the ground of her room. She looked around and picked up some of her cloth, she took her suitcase and started to stuff her cloths in it. Only the essential, she kept telling herself. She looked at her table where her computer and other school related stuff laid on. There was a photo frame, with a photo in it of course. The photo was a picture taken on her third birthday, shortly before her mother died. Sakura sniffed and slowly walked towards the table, she took the photo in her hands and stared at it. She looked at herself and her missing teeth; she looked at her brother and his handsome smile, at her father encircling his mother's waist with his arms, a big smile on both their faces. She was happy then and she thought she would be happy until she had grandchildren. She thought she could handle it, but the pain was too great. Sakura threw the photo on the wall in anger and frustration; the glass shattered into little pieces and destroyed the beautiful frame. Sakura sniffed again, her eyes burning in invisible anger. She always did the easiest thing and nothing had changed now. The easiest thing to do now was run away.

Linkin Park: It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me

The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see

Wounds so deep they never show they never go away

Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)

(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)

(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)

(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)

(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)

(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)

(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Syaoran hummed the tune of the song, he liked that part. If he could change, he would take the pain he made his mother go through away. He would make all the yelling, ignoring and hating go away. If only that were possible, he guessed that now all he could do was to make up for everything he'd done wrong. He continued humming and came to a halt as he saw the row of cherry blossom trees. There was only one person to whom this trees seem to make him think about. Not that he could stop thinking about her anyway. Syaoran caught a cherry blossom into his hand; he looked at it before letting the gentle wind carry up in the vast and blue sky. 'Sakura'

Ryuu didn't go to school, he couldn't face it. Seeing Sakura trying to make Syaoran her friend was hurtful, at least it was to him. Ryuu walked through the corridors of his house. He walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, or something, anything. He was about to pour himself a glass when he saw the door to the basement open, he went into the basement. His father's personal training gym. Ryuu punched a punching back just to see how it felt. Whilst punching the bag, he thought about Syaoran and what he thought up as his act. He knew Syaoran liked Sakura, he could se it in his eyes, but that one wasn't going to be his, it sure as hell wasn't. Not as long as there was an ounce of breath in Hanatori Ryuu's body. Ryuu punched it again. Nothing was easy, always had to take the high road. Always had to push extra hard and for what? Just to be put down because Mr. Li XiaoLang had entered the room, the competition. Whatever. Nothing was easy, right?

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb

It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone

"Taidama, otou-san, onii-chan. I'm home!"

Ten year old Sakura entered her house to be greeted by silence and a cold breeze. She shivered and took off her rollerblades and coat. Looking around for any signs of her remaining family, the young Sakura started to get scared. She had always been afraid of it coming back, and she had the feeling it did. Sakura frowned, she'd looked everywhere downstairs, even in the small garden and basement and she found nothing. She started to go upstairs, into her brother's room and didn't found him there. She looked in her father's room, which he had inhibited alone for the past seven years. After that, Sakura went to her father's study and didn't dare utter a word. She didn't say anything, slowly she sunk to the floor, her eyes glued to her father's body pending from the ceiling, his neck held by a thick and probably sharp rope. His eyes were closed and his face held a smile. A tear slowly slid down Sakura's cheek as she choked back her sobs. 'How dare he commit suicide, how dare he do this to me!' Sakura thought as she angrily looked at her father's limp and hanging body. She gasped as she looked behind it; a dark figure looked at her, its eyes never reverting to anywhere else. By the time Sakura could blink, it had disappeared.

Sakura didn't know what was happening, she was scared. She kept screaming until she heard a voice, her brother's voice. She raced downstairs and flung her arms around his neck.

"Aren't you a bit too happy to see me kaiju? What happened?"

The last sentence was said right after Sakura had started to cry once again. Touya held her away from him for a minute and looked at her wet face; he wiped the tears away and asked her once again what was going. Sakura told him, in a small voice, what she'd seen in their father's study. Touya yelled at her, telling her to stop making jokes. But when Sakura feebly shook her head, Touya immediately let go of her and ran up the stairs. He came back downstairs, slowly and as if what he saw was unbelievable. He took Sakura's hand and told her to go sit down; she did as he told her and slowly sat down on the floor. Her knees brought up to her chest, she started to cry.

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past

Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have

Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back

And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

Syaoran had continued walking and he had kept on humming the tune under his breath. His thoughts had rested on Sakura; she should have been in school during the morning like she always was. Earlier than everyone else and it was sure that Syaoran had taken his time to come to school after what his friend had told him on the phone. He sighed and walked towards the park. He sat down on a bench and looked at the blue sky, the constant breeze bugged him. Something was wrong, very wrong. Syaoran had been brought up to believe in the supernatural and stuff like that and he knew by experience that something bad had happen or was happening. Syaoran growled under his breath, he hated not knowing what was happening, he stood up once again and quietly sung his favourite part of the song.

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)

(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)

(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)

(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)

(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)

(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)

(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Ryuu tried his hardest to hit the punching bag; he always imagined it to be Syaoran. He imagined himself hurting Syaoran, disfiguring Syaoran. It felt so satisfying when the punching was suddenly no more. Ryuu laughed and moved on the dumbbells. He lifted them, each them he'd done it then times he'd add weight on each side. Ryuu was going to get stronger, even if it killed him. He would get stronger and he would kill Syaoran Li. It was done, he had enough. After he'd kill Syaoran, he would wash his hand under the water; make sure the blood takes a lot of time to wash away. He hated him, Ryuu hated him. He always had, but they were supposed to be friends. Yet after Meilin, he shouldn't have let Syaoran get another chance. No more, Sakura would be his and his alone.

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change

Sakura had trashed the house, she'd taken everything that could be broken easily and threw them at the walls. She let them fall down on the ground and break, just like her heart had been breaking during all these years of suffering. Her eyes were colder than they had ever been. Memories of her friends, of the family she once had seem to have quickly disappeared when she had broken the framed photo on her table. Her mouth was on a line, her beautiful smile had disappeared and the cheerful aura surrounding her had gone too. She was broken enough, she had enough. No more fighting, she was taking the easy way out.

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Syaoran had a sudden bad feeling about Sakura, he ran through all the streets but he didn't remember where her house was. He had been to busy looking at her. Syaoran rested and thought, he tried to look inside his brain to find the information he needed. He closed his eyes and remembered what had happened two days before, he'd found her buying some stuff and for her brother. Stuff that she shouldn't have been buying. Then she found her cat and then she talked to him and they walked to her house. They didn't talk at all so how was it that Syaoran didn't know where her goddamn house was.

Syaoran kept running and then he found it. The normal yellow house, the one where Sakura had probably lived her whole life. He tried to knock on the door, but the wind opened it for him. He entered and gasped at the mess, it was as if someone had gone over the house with a bulldozer. He went upstairs first, two of the room were locked. Another one was blue, he didn't think this would be Sakura's room, he moved onto another room which just happened to be pink and as messy as the corridor had been. Syaoran sighed, she wasn't upstairs. He went down the stairs and looked around. She wasn't in the kitchen, the garden, the downstairs bathroom so she had to be in the lounge room.

Syaoran had to look carefully, and if it wasn't for Sakura's arm he wouldn't have found her on the floor, bleeding. Syaoran took her in his arms and brushed some escaping strands of her normally gleaming auburn hair away from her pale face. Her face was still wet and stained from the tears that had stopped flowing from her eyes, Syaoran almost cried himself at her sight. It wasn't until a moment that Syaoran had noticed Sakura was bleeding, he cursed under his breath and put her on the sofa which had remained untouched.

He tore up a piece of his sleeve and quickly bandaged her wound so she would stop haemorrhaging. He looked for a phone just to find it on the floor and stepped on. He cursed under his breath once more before remembering that he had a phone himself. He took out his phone and quickly dialled up the emergency number. After talking to the operator he went back to Sakura's side, trying to get her to talk to him but she just wouldn't budge. She was so pale and so cold. Syaoran's frown deepened, pale and cold was a sign of death on a person's body. Syaoran checked her pulse, she was still alive but it was very faint, almost gone.

"Stay with me Sakura, I still haven't figured you out yet. Besides, you need to talk to Ryuu, serious issues about you. Don't leave, it'd be too easy to give up! You can't... don't be like him Sakura... don't be like my father. He was a coward, he could have fought for his life, but he didn't." Syaoran whispered to her as he brushed her hair. He kept muttering that she couldn't leave, that it wasn't her time yet. Syaoran stood up and went to stand by the door as he heard the ambulance arrived. A man and woman went inside the house to where Syaoran had said Sakura was whilst another man talked to Syaoran.

"Wow, that's a new record. Two times in the same house and only about a day passed."

Syaoran frowned at him, "What do you mean?"

"Well, yesterday afternoon the girl living here found her brother in the bathroom. He OD'd. And now here she is. I told her to go somewhere else, like a friend's house or something but I guess she choose to stay. Poor girl, read in the Kinomoto files that she's the only Kinomoto left."

Syaoran looked as Sakura was being carried into the ambulance car. He couldn't believe that this girl was an orphan who lived with her druggie brother, he just couldn't believe it.

"She gonna be ok?"

The ambulance woman nodded as she closed the back doors. The man who talked to Syaoran saluted him and then went to drive the ambulance back to the hospital. Syaoran gulped, she'd almost lost her life. He closed the door with Sakura's key (which he'd taken when looking around) and started walking towards his house. Sakura had a hard life and she was close to giving it up. Syaoran was glad he believed in cold winds and such. He felt another one though, and, as he looked back at Sakura's yellow house, he swore that he could see a dark figure standing there.

It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

End of chapter. I might finish the story on a sunday (sunday in the story, that's why I put the Wednesday thing). TBC