Last Chapter:

# Sakura arrived at her house, she got her keys out of her bag and put them in the lock. As she did so the door slightly pushed open. A cold wind knocked Sakura and she already knew what had happened. She ran inside letting her purse fall on the ground. Sakura ran upstairs and went to the bathroom, her eyes became blank at the sight. Her brother on the floor, white liquid coming out of his mouth, his eyes rolled backwards.#

# She went to the side of her bed and curled into a ball, the tears started streaming down once again, just as they did the day before. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep but the sight of her brother in OD (Overdose) was in her mind. She screamed in pain, she was afraid, everything had fallen apart. She was alone.#

#"Hello?"

- Why do you wanna know? Is that another one you can take?

"Excuse me?"

- Oh please, girls fall head over heels for you Syaoran. What, can't let one of those who have brain not to fall to your friend?

"That's not... and you know that I haven't been on a date for god knows how long."

- Yea, but I know you like it when all those girls like. It makes you feel good doesn't it? Look Sakura's mine so back off XiaoLang Li.#

# She thought she could handle, but the pain was too great. Sakura threw the photo on the wall in anger and frustration; the glass shattered into little pieces and destroyed the beautiful frame. Sakura sniffed again, her eyes burning in invisible anger. She always did the easiest thing and nothing had changed now. The easiest thing to do now was run away.#

# He knew Syaoran liked Sakura, he could se it in his eyes, but that one wasn't going to be his, it sure as hell wasn't. Not as long as there was an ounce of breath in Hanatori Ryuu's body. Ryuu punched it again. Nothing was easy, always had to take the high road. Always had to push extra hard and for what? Just to be put down because Mr. Li XiaoLang had entered the room, the competition. Whatever. Nothing was easy, right?#

#Sakura went to her father's study and didn't dare utter a word. She didn't say anything, slowly she sunk to the floor, her eyes glued to her father's body pending from the ceiling, his neck held by a thick and probably sharp rope. His eyes were closed and his face held a smile.#

# Syaoran had to look carefully, and if it wasn't for Sakura's arm he wouldn't have found her on the floor, bleeding. Syaoran took her in his arms and brushed some escaping strands of her normally gleaming auburn hair away from her pale face. Her face was still wet and stained from the tears that had stopped flowing from her eyes, Syaoran almost cried himself at her sight. It wasn't until a moment that Syaoran had noticed Sakura was bleeding, he cursed under his breath and put her on the sofa which had remained untouched.

"Stay with me Sakura, I still haven't figured you out yet. Besides, you need to talk to Ryuu, serious issues about you. Don't leave, it'd be too easy to give up! You can't... don't be like him Sakura... don't be like my father. He was a coward, he could have fought for his life, but he didn't."

"Wow, that's a new record. Two times in the same house and only about a day passed."

Syaoran frowned at him, "What do you mean?"

"Well, yesterday afternoon the girl living here found her brother in the bathroom. He OD'd. And now here she is. I told her to go somewhere else, like a friend's house or something but I guess she choose to stay. Poor girl, read in the Kinomoto files that she's the only Kinomoto left."#

A/N: I decided to make the story longer. Thanks to all those who reviewed, it means a lot more than you could ever imagine.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Cardcaptor Sakura cast, or the Gundam Wing cast. I do, however, own Kitsune, Ryuu, Tima and Ikira. Thanks again.

The Choir Girl

Chapter Five: Sakura

By EvilxDarkxSorceress

Why does it hurt? Every time I think about it? Why is it that I am so lonely, within the dark, cold walls of my heart? Why is it that I wish to die and let the pain go freely? Why is it that my world has crumbled so quickly? Why is it that I am left alone? Why is it that my tears keep falling? Why is it that of part of me is never shown to my friends? I want to live, but not like this. Please, free me.

"Mommy yook at my wainbow!"

15 year old Sakura look at her young self. She smiled as she saw herself and her mother looking at a picture of a rainbow. They were near the penguin, sitting together. Nadeshiko took Sakura's drawing and kissed her head.

"Do you wike it mommy?"

Nadeshiko smiled gently and nodded, "Of course I do darling you made it didn't you?"

"Yup, Touya help me wit' the cowours. But he kept cawing me squiwt."

Little Sakura pouted but then she looked at her mother, "What does Squiwt mean?"

Nadeshiko laughed and told Sakura not to worry; she'd understand when she was older. 2 and a half year old Sakura accepted the answer and started picking flowers for her mother who watched her with a gentle and motherly smile.

Sakura watched, she sighed and slowly seated herself on the ground, watching all the happy times she had had with her mother. It was like a movie showing her past, showing the happiness she once held in her eyes. No one saw the change in her; no one understood how she had felt when everyone died. They liked being found by her too. Always it was her, her mother, her father and her brother. It stood at her side, she looked at it, she hated it and it hated her. She placed her head in between her knees and covered it with her hand. She cried, and it waited for her to finish.

Syaoran brushed a strand of hair from Sakura's face and looked at her pale skin. She looked so frail, so pale, and so vulnerable. She looked dead. Syaoran frowned, she shouldn't look dead. He touched her skin; it was cold, as cold as ice. He looked at the screen that showed her life line. It was so small, as if it wasn't there at all. Syaoran went out the room to get information about her; he was worried, more than he should have been. After all, it wasn't the first death he had experienced and he could recognise a person that was dying and she was. There was no way he was going to let that happen.

Syaoran waited for Dr. Mizuki, the name seemed familiar but he didn't bother to try to remember. She finally arrived, a long haired red headed. She looked at him and smile a plastic surgery smile, he hated those.

"Anything I can do for you Mr...?"

"Li, Syaoran Li."

"Mr. Li."

Syaoran suppressed a groan; he hated being called Mr. Li. That was what people used to call his father. "I just want to know about Kinomoto Sakura's condition? She doesn't look so good back there."

Dr. Mizuki smiled once again and looked at her graph note thingy, whatever it was. "Oh yes, Kinomoto Sakura. Oh my! Are you a relative?"

Syaoran shook his head and once again suppressed a groan. Now he had to be worried, they always asked for family when it was critical. "No, but we're engaged."

She frowned, "You both seem a bit young to be engaged don't you think?"

Syaoran narrowed his eyes; he really didn't like this woman at that precise moment, "Arranged marriage. Besides she has no one else, at least no one that I know of."

She sighed and motioned to follow her. They went into Sakura's room; you couldn't even hear her breath anymore. Syaoran went at her side and brushed another strand of her now pale auburn hair. Her skin was so pale that, at first, he didn't notice a tear trail on her cheek. He brushed it away and gently smiled at her.

Dr. Mizuki cleared her throat and caught Syaoran's attention, "Sakura is in a very critical condition. I've looked through her files and already know about her rare disease which is not helping in the state that she is. She can't survive if she doesn't believe or want to. Mr. Li, the reason why Sakura's pulse is so low is because she's given up complete hope or faith or whatever and now doesn't want to live. If this keeps up then she might die soon. I give her two days tops."

Syaoran looked at Sakura, "Two days? But..."

She looked down, "I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do. I've never seen such a case before. Every one of my patients wanted to live, even those who died. Every one of them had the hope of seeing someone the next day, had the hope of seeing even just another day but she... she just gave up. It pains me to watch and do nothing Mr. Li. But what can I do?"

Syaoran looked at Sakura's doctor, "Thanks, I want to be alone with her. Please?"

She nodded and left, sorry that she couldn't do anything.

Syaoran looked at Sakura, "What the hell's the matter with you?! You better not die Kinomoto, you better not. You don't know what you're giving up, you just don't. What about your best friend huh?! What about her? Don't you think this is gonna hurt her? What about all those people you touched in school, what about all those?! What about me? You didn't even make it to my friend status, you said you would but you didn't. You... you gave up. He gave up to, but he's a coward and I understand but you... you're stronger than that. You are different. Please don't die."

Syaoran broke down and for the first day of his life he cried.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

Sakura gasped and looked around. It was dark now. The memories had gone. So why did she just hear a voice? And whose voice was it? Sakura looked around once more and tried to listen carefully. You don't know what you're giving up, you just don't. Sakura shouted she couldn't hear herself. That voice, she'd heard it before. But where? And where was it? Not around, Sakura walked a while and stopped. The voice came back, what about her? Don't you think this is gonna hurt her? Sakura remembered. Syaoran, it was Syaoran! She shouted out his name but she still couldn't hear her voice. She sighed and listened, gradually understanding what he was saying. He was angry and hurt. Sakura cried out his name once again, and heard her voice in a whisper. She was about to try again when something cold landed on her shoulder, she turned around and saw it.

"Syaoran..."

Syaoran looked at Sakura; he could swear that he heard her mutter his name. He looked at her carefully and saw that she wasn't too well at the moment...

"Come on Sakura, fight it. You don't have to die. You don't have to die. Please Sakura..."

Sakura whimpered and turned around to look at it. She blinked back tears as it took away its cold hand. Sakura shook uncontrollably, she didn't want to die but death was before her. It started to make signs with its hand, Sakura couldn't understand. It pointed its finger at her heart. Sakura touched the part where her heart resided and it nodded.

"Something about my heart? What about it?"

It made an X sign with its hands and pointed to her heart once again. It did it repeatedly and kept pointing to her heart after.

"Broken? Is my heart broken?"

It nodded.

"You're not death, but who? You're the one who made my heart like this; you're the one who took them all away."

It shook his head no and pointed to Sakura's head. Sakura looked down, she couldn't understand and all she knew was that she wanted to see Syaoran.

"You're not making sense. You're death and you took my family away, all of them. You took my mother, you took my father and you just took my brother too. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! YOU'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING AND LEFT ME WITH NOTHING. WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

It didn't do anything; it waited for her to stop crying. It waited for her to look at the face of death. It took his hood down and waited for Sakura once again. Sakura put her head up and looked at the one she had named death all along.

Syaoran looked at Sakura, almost as if expecting her to open her eyes and tell him she was ok, tell him she was alive. But she didn't, instead she suddenly started to have an intake of ushered breath. Quickly, her chest went up and down and she started whimpering. The monitor showing her life went crazy and Syaoran stood up as nurses and doctors hurried in the room. Dr. Mizuki looked at him with sorry eyes before she started giving orders to all those in the room.

Syaoran gulped and let himself be led away by one of the nurse. He sat on a chair and buried his head in his hands. About ten minutes after, he received a tap on his shoulders. The whole gang had arrived. Tomoyo was teary eyed, holding onto herself and trying hard not to let her tears fall. Eriol and Yamazaki were standing next to Kitsune and Ryuu. Ryuu's normally dancing and joyous aqua eyes were cloudy making the greenish bit of his eyes disappear. He didn't look at Syaoran, instead he sat down on the far end of the seats. Duo's sparkle diminished and his smile wasn't as merry as ever, instead it was sad.

Tomoyo went and sat down next to Syaoran, "How is she?"

Syaoran didn't look at her, "Not well, her pulse was very small and not long ago she started to breath unevenly. I think she was starting to flat line when the doctors went in there. It's been around fifteen minutes."

Tomoyo chocked back a sob, she let a tear run down her porcelain cheek Eriol went to sit by her. He put a hand around her shoulders and let her cry on his own shoulders. The other guys looked down and even then, Duo didn't have a smile.

"What about her brother?"

All eyes turned towards Heero who had just arrived.

"Well, what about him?"

Syaoran looked down, "He's dead. Overdose. How did you know she had a brother?"

Heero sighed and ran a hand through his dark chocolate coloured hair, "There's a history between our families. I remember seeing her when I was just a child."

"Mr. Li?"

Once again, all eyes turned towards the new voice. It was Sakura's doctor. Dr. Mizuki.

Syaoran stood and almost immediately was in front of her, "Yes? What happened? How is she?"

She smiled, "She's fine. Out of what we call temporally short coma. Her pulse is much better and colour is back at her face. Sakura will be fine, she's regaining her normal state. For now, she has to stay in hospital for at least a 3 to 5 days for observation. She's awake so you can see her. You first since you're her fiancée."

Everyone was relieved and confused. She had just said that Sakura would get better but she also said that Syaoran was her fiancée. That, they didn't understand. Nonetheless, Syaoran walked towards Sakura's room. He entered and smiled as he saw Sakura slowly eating a sandwich with a grim look. Hospital food never was good.

"Hey."

Sakura turned to look at him, her face had indeed regained some of its colours but she was still paled. She gave him a small smile, apparently she still wasn't feeling well since normally her smile would exceed that of anybody else.

"Hey. Sit down."

Syaoran smiled back and sat down on the bed. Once again, he couldn't help but brush away a strand of her hair. She blushed at his touch and shyly looked down.

"So, I know it's not a really good question but how are you?"

Sakura put down the hospital sandwich sighed, "I don't know. A part of me is fine, but another is completely out of control. I'm all alone now. I have no one. My brother left me. He just left me all alone!"

Syaoran put a hand on her shoulder and brought her t him. He placed her head in his lap and combed her hair with his fingers. He let her cry the tears left in her bodies.

"Syaoran-kun? You don't mind me calling you that do you?"

Syaoran whispered yes and kept brushing her hair.

"Can I talk to you? Tell you everything about me? I want to... tell you about every single thing that I've felt about everything. I don't know why but would you let me?"

Syaoran stopped brushing her hair. Sakura looked up at him, her eyes expressing hope and fears. He nodded and she smiled while positioning herself in his lap once more. Syaoran didn't know when they had become so intimate, things were going so fast and now he was finally going to know about the real Sakura. She took a big breath before releasing it.

"Well, I remember my childhood quite well. I was really happy. It was me and mom and dad and Touya. I didn't have Kero yet at that time. –a sigh- mom and I were a really good pair, everyone said that I was her exact replicate of when she was a child except that I had light brown hair. I always had my hair in little ponytails, my mom used to do them for me. When I was three, my mom died of an unknown decease, the on I carry. She was really strong. I remember her beautiful hair that morning when I found her. It was on my birthday. She said she had something for me and that she wanted me to come in her room in the morning because she was feeling sick. So I went and I shook her. My dad was downstairs making breakfast and my brother was helping him. I kept shaking her but she wouldn't wake up. Her hair carefully spread around. She just wouldn't wake up.

I called my dad and told him she wouldn't wake up. He went upstairs and then called the ambulance. He took me in his arms and he held me so tight. I thought it was my fault. We had her funerals a week later and it wasn't until then that I actually opened my presents. My mother had gotten me a book full of songs, and it was then I knew I wanted to be a singer. I didn't speak much after her death and I looked carefully at the chances around. My father didn't smile as often and my brother didn't hang around the house. I was only three, I could only watch. When my mother was alive and it was night. My brother and I would usually eavesdrop at our parent's door. My mother would always sing for my father. It was their thing. So one day I went into my father's room and sang a song from the book for him. I asked Touya for help with the words since I didn't know how to read.

Everything was better then. We survived the death of our mother but me and my brother didn't notice that out father's smile was just a mask behind which he hid his true feelings. It's funny because it seemed that everything was fine, that we were happy. But when I was ten, my father hanged himself in his study. I just cam back from school and saw him hanging there. I was so angry, he'd just leave us all alone. He knew we still needed him but he left us. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, I wanted to beat him to a bloody corpse. I was so angry and I hated him and myself."

Sakura stopped for a moment she sniffed and gripped the fabric of Syaoran's jeans. He caressed her back, trying to soothe her. She sighed and tried t to think a little.

"I felt weak. My decease appeared a few months after that. I had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks and was allowed out with condition that I took my medication daily. My brother started doing drugs two years after father died. I didn't say anything and I got him his heroin when he needed it. Just like last time when you saw me with Ikira-san. I hated him doing that, the drugs became more important than me. I hated Touya. And then, just yesterday he decided to leave me.

It's not fair, I'm always the one that has to feel pain. I hate pain. Every time, I was the one finding them dead. Always me. I was so afraid of death, yet I wanted it to take me. So bad. I think that's why I love singing. Because I'm able to lose myself completely to a song and, just for a moment, let happiness flow through me. I know it's selfish but I want to be happy, I desperately want it. Is it bad?"

Syaoran shook his head, "No it isn't. It's never wrong to want to be happy Sakura."

She sighed again, "I hope not, I don't want to be selfish. It just doesn't feel right. Are they all here?"

Syaoran nodded, "Yea, they're waiting for us to finish. I told the doctor that we were engaged."

Sakura sat up, "You what?!"

Syaoran laughed. All the sadness that was in her voice had now vanished. Fate was very cruel to Sakura. She had done absolutely nothing in her life for anyone to hate her and yet there she was, feeling pain beyond anyone's understanding. It was unbelievable. Syaoran felt like kissing her senseless and leaving her dazed. He felt like letting her know that he loved her. But did he?

Syaoran looked at her, she was looking back at him with a tilted head. Her eyes had regained her sparkle, the one that made him somewhat weak in the knees. He frowned and put his hand on her waist. She blushed again and smiled. Syaoran then brought his lips down to kiss her. Their lips made contact to form a sweet kiss. Sakura mentally sighed as Syaoran made the kiss more passionate. It seemed that everything disappeared and there was nothing in the world except Syaoran and herself. Sakura slightly parted her mouth and let Syaoran make the kiss more passionate.

After a moment they parted. Syaoran gulped, that had never happened to him. The feeling that suddenly took over while he was kissing Sakura was strong, so strong he didn't think that he could put a name to it. Sakura just watched him wide eyed. She slowly brought her hand to her mouth and lightly touched her lips with her fingers.

Syaoran stood up, "Ummm, the other will want to see you so I'd better leave."

Sakura barely had a moment to register what he had said before he left. She smiled and waited for the next person to come through the doors. It was Tomoyo and Eriol, Tomoyo clinging onto Eriol. Tomoyo broadly grinned and jumped on the bed with Sakura. She hugged her tightly, whispering apologies for something she didn't even do.

Sakura laughed, "Ne, Tomoyo-chan, calm down! I'm ok see?"

Tomoyo laughed with Sakura through tears. "I thought I was going to lose you Sakura-chan. Never do this to me again ok?"

Sakura nodded before demanding to know about everything that had happened. Eriol stood watching the two, feeling a bit forgotten but understanding. Sakura had almost died after all. But he wanted the attention.

"What about me? Don't I get to talk with the two beautiful angels?"

The two laughed and shared a conversation with Eriol. They talked about Shakespeare and the play Eriol was in. Sakura laughed as Eriol did a scene for them. Tomoyo made fun of him and he acted as if he was wounded. Finally, they left for Ryuu to come in.

He came in, striding with a smile on his face.

"Ohayo, daijobou deska?"

"Un, daijobou. Thanks for asking and coming."

His smile windened, "Why wouldn't I? I really like you Sakura and I was scared that you wouldn't be ok."

Sakura smiled back at him, "Well I am. So no worries!! I like you too, you're a nice friend to have."

His smile disappeared, he sat down on the bed and looked straight in her eyes, "I don't mean as a friend. I meant as in, girlfriend and boyfriend."

Sakura's own smile vanished. She thought back at the kiss she and Syaoran had shared and looked down. She didn't want to hurt him, she hated hurting people, especially her own friends.

She looked back at him and frowned. "Ryuu-kun. Gomen demo, I don't like you that way. I already told you when you asked me out last time. I'm sorry. Onegai, forgive me?"

She tried to get hold of his hand but he pushed her away. She gasped.

"It's him isn't it?!"

He was shouting, Sakura looked at him with scared eyes, "Who?!? Please, don't scream."

"Is it fucking Syaoran?! What the fuck do you see in him?! I don't get it! Why does it have to be him?!"

Sakura cowered under his hard gaze. He cursed and left the room, banging the door on his way out. The rest of the gang came to see what was happening. Sakura sighed and looked down. She looked up t o see everyone else there, including Heero.

"Heero-kun?"

He nodded, "Hai, you ok?"

She nodded and looked at the door. Feeling pained at the fact that she had hurt one of her friends. She closed her eyes and let Heero embrace her.

"It's been long Sakura-san."

End of Chapter. TBC.