Hi.

I never wanted to be that crazy AO3 author who had something nuts happens them but here we are. That shit sucked. I don't want to say what occurred because I don't want to trigger anytone so here's the jist: I did it to myself like an idiot. I'm fine. I'm alive. No one else but me was hurt. I'm just a dumbass.

MisfitNami on Twitter set up a SoRoku Week on Twitter in August, and geeneyedgirl_20 tagged me in a lot of amazing posts, and I'm sad I missed it! So here's a pile of drabbles I challenged myself to make as a kickoff to a very important announcement!

Please note: These fics are out of the orginal intended order. Hahaaaaaaa these challenges are always interesting because I realize I keep writing stuff that falls under multiple categories. It's like when you write out the answer to a quiz question, and then realize your answer also works for another question… it's like, "Do I just write 'see above' or…?"

(SoRoku week was on my birthday week too. Sadness.)

Enjoy. And maybe… help a fujoshi out and… Request a commission?

(More info after the fic!)

(Walking on) Destiny Twilight Dreams

Alternate Timeline

4,400~ words

Disclaimer / Warning: This drabble contains drug use. I do not condone drug use of any kind, legal or otherwise. High consent is not consent All characters depicted are age 21+.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaah veeeeeeery merry unbirthday," sang the March Hare "To you!"

"To me!" Sora sang back.

"To you!"

From my seat at the obnoxiously long tea table, I watched as Sora and the March Hare pirouetted around the garden and crooned about his "unbirthday." It was an odd but sweet sight as they pranced and warbled, but it was hard to relax considering we were completely freaking lost.

It was years ago now that I had first seen the strange world when I was still in the Organization, and Sora had returned several times since. I was pretty excited about this visit, but…

I touched the bruise on the nape of my neck. Didn't help that I was still sore from the crash landing. We were lucky the ejector seats were functioning fine. But thanks to the ever-shifting nature of Wonderland, the gummi ship was stuck in some place even Sora hadn't seen before.

And right before the malfunction…

"Roxas, there's something I wanna tell you–"

My face was suddenly hot. I blew a sigh out my nose. Leave it to Sora's luck that he'd try and drop a bombshell right before the worst possible moment…

In front of me, I watched the Mad Hatter finish steeping the most recent batch of tea. It looked like a floral blend with dried purple petals and clove pods mixed in. It smelled so good, like an earthier version of chamomile with a hint of spice.

"Tea for you, thir?" The Mad Hatter asked with his odd lisp, teapot poised at the ready.

My stomach growled, almost like it was trying to answer for me. We'd been low on emergency rations and water for a while now. I knew the food and drink of Wonderland was questionable, but something as mild as tea… it shouldn't hurt, right? And I watched the Mad Hatter whip it up myself.

I smiled gratefully, "Sure, why not?"

As the bizarre man filled my cup he stated, matter of factly, "Well it's a good thing to have for many things… like a bowtie! Or a rope!"

I blinked, distracted by the sugar cubes manifesting themselves in the stream of liquid, "Uh… right."

Once my cup was filled and partially cooled down, I sipped from it. It was delicious, better than any tea I'd had in my life. Not that I drank a lot of tea anyway. It only took a couple of gulps to finish my cup.

"Clean cup!" The Hatter cried, "Move down, move down!" He practically shoved me into the next ridiculous chair and then immediately poured me another cup. "Now! Have I got a riddle for you…"

This pattern happened a few more times: Sora engaging the March Hare in yet another unbirthday activity and the Mad Hatter shooing me into a different chair for a top-up and another riddle.

I returned my nearly-empty teacup to my saucer, mulling his most recent one over, "Until I am measured I am not known," I repeated,"Yet how you miss me when I have flown… hm…" Leaning back in my chair, I rested my chin on my hand. "Is it… time?"

The Mad Hatter clapped his hands together and giggled with glee, "Correct again! My word, you've got quite the head on your thoulders!"

"Practicing some riddles over here?" Sora appeared beside me and flopped down into the chair next to mine, exhausted. He rubbed a temple with two fingers, "If I do another spin I swear I'm gonna puke." He noticed an errant glob of icing from the exploding unbirthday cake on his shirt and brushed it off.

"I'm doing pretty well with the Hatter's riddles," (This was my nice way of saying they were easy,) "But that damn one from the puzzle is tough. If I could just figure it out, we could get back to the Gummi Ship…"

The last step of the puzzle was at Humpty Dumpty's memorial: the riddle wall. Except this massive and unscalable stone wall had stretched on endlessly… after failing the riddle for the upteenth time, we wandered around for hours looking for a way around it. It was by pure luck and chance we came across the tea garden and were given a chance to rest with some of Sora's longtime friends. When we asked the Hatter and Hare if they had an answer, they explained they don't solve riddles, they just share the ones they find. Not super helpful, but at least they had cozy chairs to sit in and some entertainment for the time being.

I mulled the clue over in my head once more: You heard me before, yet you hear me again. Then I die, 'till you call me again. What could it possibly be?

"Hey, give yourself more credit," Sora insisted, "Your guesses were way better than mine. I'm sure you noticed, I'm better at beating the hell out of stuff. Puzzles and riddles? Not my cup of tea."

"Why, Thora!" The Hatter exclaimed, "You cannot knot tea! Now that's justht thilly."

Grinning, Sora retorted, "Is it silly? Or is it just… naughty?"

Suddenly, I realized something. Laughter exploded out of me. I laughed and I laughed, the feeling of it lifting from me in a cloud.

Confused, Sora chuckled, "You alright, Roxas? I'll admit, that was a great pun, but…"

"It's because I said, 'why not,'" I choked out, "He thought I meant 'Why knot?' as in tying something in a knot… and then you said–but he thought you meant–and then you–" Giggles spewed out of me and I was unable to hold them back.

Sora didn't need any further clarification. He glanced down at my teacup, then grimaced at me, "Ah, Roxas… you did it, didn't you?"

Sora's grave expression helped my laughter taper off. As I wiped tears from my eyes, I asked, "Did what?"

Sora pushed himself out of his seat, getting up to look into the top of the nearest teapot. He muttered an apology when he came upon a sleepy Dormouse.

I asked, "What are you doing?"

"Which pot did you drink from?"

"Ah, the pink one."

Sora reached over the table to that one, the mouth of it sputtering as if alive. Or, maybe it was alive. It was so hard to tell… was it moving like that before? Or was it just being polite while the Hatter poured me tea?

A teapot being polite… I had to bite my lip to stifle the next bloom of laughter inside me. Only in Wonderland.

Sora said, "Remember I told you not to eat or drink the food here?"

"Uh, I'm pretty sure you said not to eat anything labeled 'eat me' or 'drink me.'"

He pulled out the little metal sieve that held the tea leaves at the top and I watched in surprise as the brunet began to pick through the wet bundle. "No, I meant all of it and especially not the ones that said 'eat me' or 'drink me.'"

I furrowed my brows. Sora had given me a pretty long-winded lecture about what not to do in Wonderland on the trip over. I must have gotten some details mixed up…

"Crap," The brunet poked at the purple petals, "In this world, they call these violet dandylillies. They grow like weeds here. In our world, we have something nearly identical: blue lotuses. They can give you really wild and vivid dreams. When I was trying to get my dreams back after the Power of Awakening, I drank a lot of this stuff."

This reassured me, "So it's fine then."

Sora shook his head, "That's not what I was worried about."

Sora plucked one of the clove pods from the pile. Or at least, what I thought was a clove pod. Upon closer inspection, it was a teeny, tiny little dried mushroom. Sora pushed the pile around, revealing a massive cluster of the things within the mix.

He cursed under his breath. This did not reassure me.

"When the people who live in this world consume the mushrooms here, sometimes they grow small or grow tall. Sometimes it just turns their mouths blue like sea salt ice cream. But we don't belong here, so when we have them–"

"Shit."

"It's okay, Roxas! It's okay," Sora was smiling, but his eyes were big blue wells of concern, "We're just going to… stop what we're doing. I'm going to get you some water, and we're going to have a really fun visit. Okay? We'll deal with the puzzle later."

This… also did not reassure me.

"This happened to you before," I stated. I wasn't sure what an observation like this would accomplish. If anything, it was to help affirm that I wasn't completely on my own in this experience.

Sora nodded, his expression softening into something much more comforting, "Just… tell me if you start to feel scared, alright?" He put his hand over mine. I could feel the edge of every callous, every scar. "And if the ground feels like it's falling away… I'll keep you from falling with it."

Heat rushed to my face. Euphoria punched up into my skull, filling it with syrupy sweetness. I knew he was just being nice and that I shouldn't look too deep into it. But something about the way he said it…

Then, something in the corner of my eye sparkled. I looked up at the lanterns hanging over the garden. They appeared to have something like a… lens flare. I titled my head, their edges seeming to offset with the motion.

Distantly, I could hear Sora: "Wait, how many times did the Hatter say 'clean cup'? Roxas, how much of this did you drink?"

I stood up, intending to get a closer look at the lanterns–

And I felt it.

It was like a summer breeze blowing at my back, lifting me up, carrying the particles of everything around me into the titling distance. The ebb and flow of it danced across my skin, raising the hair on my arms and tickling the back of my brain. I felt taller, lightweight, fragile.

Then, I noticed the hedged walls of the garden were… breathing. I rushed over to see if a great beast was ensnared in them, my hands shooting out to examine it. Part of me was aware that Sora was close behind, but I was too focused on every crisp edge on every vein of every leaf. It was so beautiful.

A hand on my shoulder, Sora's. He asked, "It's actually pretty cool right? To me, things almost looked like they were writhing. Or dancing."

I smiled, "Dancing is a good word for it."

Wait… dancing… that reminded me–

"It's my unbirthday too." I flipped around, shouting into the tea garden, "It's my unbirthday, too!"

The March Hare, who was seated comfortably back at the table, practically spat out his tea, "It is?!"

The Hatter shot up from his own chair, "Why, what a coincidence!"

I grabbed the sleeve of Sora's shirt, dragging him back to the table, "Come dance with me for my unbirthday, Sora!"

"Okay, okay!" He laughed, "Just no tea or cake!"

I sucked in a breath, dragging the steam of tea and smell of cookies into my lungs, "Aaaaaaaah veeeeeeeeeery merry unbirthday…!"

We wheeled and waltzed around the garden, the teapots whistling in a symphony to accompany our offbeat singing. If I wasn't holding someone's hand, my hands were up in the air, reaching out to whatever stars dotted the vaulted ceiling of this storybook place. It felt like if I tried hard enough, I could stretch out my body and touch them–like maybe the tea could make me grow tall after all.

At some point, the Hatter and Hare produced a plate of purple cupcakes, each adorned with a massive wax candle. I blew them all out at once, and Sora ducked his head. The extinguished wicks became sparklers and I watched in awe as they seemed to crackle in slow motion: each spark leaving a white trail of light behind it. The sparklers fizzled into fuzes, which turned the cupcakes into bottle rockets. They shot off the plate and whistled in the air above us in a tight spiral.

Bright glittering sparks and chunks of cake showered us, each particle snatching the light like million blinking lightbulbs, falling, turning, tilting. Every tiny flame that touched us morphed into a bubble. When the bubbles popped, the liquid they shot out froze to snowflakes that became a curtain before me. A theather, a stage… I parted the icy curtain, stepping into the darkness on the other side.

I was running. I knew it was the Tulgey Wood because the bowing, bulging trees tunneled before me. Sora was calling my name. The Momeraths dotting the winding path looked like a string of Christmas lights guiding me home on a cold winter's night.

A shadow in the corner of my eye. I turned to catch a figure disappearing around the bend in another path.

My eyes widened.

It was a cloak.

I went stumbling after the figure. That height, that gait… but no, he was gone. They'd all been gone for years now. The Organization didn't exist anymore. It wasn't possible.

But I could hear his voice, clear as a song in my head: "A window of opportunity can open and close in the blink of an eye…"

It was Luxord. I just knew it somehow. My feet carried me across a route from my memory. My body felt heavier, the weight of my own cloak hanging off of me. I was much younger, much smaller, chasing after the riddles of a smiling cat. Something inside me sang: it was a bird trapped in a too-small cage, weeping out the music of loneliness.

Before the Organization, I wasn't anything. I was dark matter compressed amidst space and time. When I was part of the Organization, I thought I was an anomaly. We weren't supposed to feel, we were never meant to exist… but it was all so real. And so raw. We accepted those lies because Xemnas was the only one we could trust.

I was the lucky one. While I was a Nobody, I got to have the bare scraps of a life… but even that was taken from me. Having a home was never possible. It was a word that I didn't even know.

As I ran, Wonderland blurred all around me. Tears poured down my cheeks. I could've cried an ocean. I could have filled the forest with my tears and floated away on my sorrow.

That was so long ago. How could anyone be so cruel, even to a creature that supposedly had no emotion? Even shells of beings were still beings, with minds and wants, and hopes and fears… Maybe the emptiness spat me out, but I came into being because someone's heart was ripped from them–Sora's. He died twice so that I could live twice.

My legs slowed, momentum failing me. I dropped to my knees in some kind of purple grass, panting. I reached down and felt it; soft and a little bristly. My fingers curled, knotting it, the sensation crawling up my skin and over my arms. Shuddering, I laid myself across the grass and looked up at the treetops. The clusters of leaves seemed to glow and shiver as a light passed through them. Everything around me hummed as my heart pounded in my ears.

A face obscured my vision.

"Did… you trip?" Sora panted from above.

I just laughed.

He groaned, "You know what I mean."

Then, he was lowering himself down… onto the grass next to me.

Heat rippled across my face as other possibilities rippled across my mind.

What exactly was I picturing just now? My heart went thudding, the sound like a drum slamming in my ears.

Whether or not Sora noticed, I had no idea. Either way, he was laying close enough that our shoulders were touching. He was looking over at me, but I refused to look back–keeping the ever-present grid facing directly overhead. He nudged me.

"You were crying."

I swiped at the wetness on my face.

"I saw someone from the Organization."

"That's definitely concerning, but… hear me out… was it followed by a violently intense feeling of nostalgia?"

I pursed my lips, suddenly very aware of what was coming next, "Yeah."

Sora grinned, "Then good news! It wasn't real. Probably."

"Wha–" I twisted toward him to lay on my side, glowering, "What do you mean?! It's either real or it's not, it's can't be both."

Sora copied the action, his head laying across a forearm, "Well… Nobodies have always kind of, not existed while also existing, right? So technically we can't rule out the existence of a Nobody in these woods. We can say that's there's even less of a chance that it's someone from the Organzation. But, there's never a non-zero chance of something. Right?"

I'm sure whatever he was saying was profound and logical to a degree, but I didn't hear a word of it. I was too lost swimming through the ocean in Sora's eyes. It felt like they went on for forever, the water warm and stretching away in every direction.

Sora continued, "This stuff will turn shadows into anything. It'll make you relive stuff too, because everything you feel will be more intense—more real than anything's ever been."

Part of me must have registered this, because I nodded my head. I was in no position to reply, which Sora knew. He cracked a smile in understanding and I allowed myself to continue staring. Laying across from Sora like this felt like settling a jigsaw piece into the greater puzzle: snug.

Reaching out, Sora laid a gentle hand on my cheek. He was silent, but his smile sent warmth twirling across my nerves. "I'm here," He whispered, and I finally heard all of it–felt all of it.

It was as if everything in this universe was lining itself up, over the course of it's whole existence, just so me and Sora could lay here with his hand on my cheek and a smile on his face. I was meant to be here, to be across from him like this. To be his Nobody, to be the echo of his heart and soul.

Wait…

My mind tore back up through the depths. I blinked my dry eyes. How long had I been staring?

"That's it," I gasped out, my body going bolt upright, "That's the answer!" My body was already moving, but Sora's grip on my arm stopped me.

"Nope, nope, nope, no more running off, Roxas! Just talk to me–"

"Take me to the wall," I informed him, "To Humpty Dumpty's memorial site. I can solve the riddle!"

After some convincing, Sora relented. We followed the wall all the way down, like we were falling down a long, strange tunnel.

The riddle in the wall was just as we'd left it–but I couldn't even read it. The embossed words were like worms squirming. Whether this was my mind or another Wonderland quirk, I didn't care because I had it memorized: "You heard me before, yet you hear me again. Then I die, 'till you call me again. It's…" At the top of my lungs I shouted, "An echo!"

Sure enough, the sound of my voice spun in the treetops around us, An echo, an echo, an echo… Shaking us, vibrating the trees, rattling the wall, and we watched as it disassembled brick-by-brick.

I took Sora by the hand and pulled us through the new doorway.

"You did it, Roxas!" Sora cackled, "Holy shit, you did it!"

We sped through the underbrush and I felt as though I was flying. I could see the sky in the distance ahead of us. If we'd been right about where the wall was in Wonderland…

Trees began to disappear. Grass became dirt. Dirt became sand, and we skidded to a halt to take in the beach around us. In the distance was the unmistakable silhouette of the gummi ship. We both whooped in delight. I ran my hands through my hair, a sigh of relief practically exploding out of me.

That was the wrong move, though. The sensation sent a spiral through my skull, strumming in my head and down my brain stem like a plucked guitar string. The euphoria mixed with the new sights, the new scents in the air, the sand compressed below my feet, shifting, sliding, sinking…

That's when I could feel it pulling away. My hand shot out to grab onto Sora for stabilization, "Uh…"

"The ground?" He inferred. I nodded and, without question, Sora wrapped his arms around me, "I've got you."

We were rarely this close. I wanted to be embarrassed, but I just couldn't. The feel of him, the smell of ocean salt and foliage and frosting on his clothes… it was instant relief. But…

"Still feels like I'm falling," I muttered.

"Close your eyes, Roxas." He instructed, "It'll be better."

My eyes slid shut.

But with my eyes closed, and with Sora's arms around me–

I was suddenly in Twilight Town. The warm summer sun was all around me, the russet bricks felt steady and sure beneath my feet as they carried me home.

His voice drifted into my ear, into my mind, "Tell me what you see."

Sora was right beside me now. The sight of his casual smile filled my mind with ease.

"It's sunset at Twilight Town. Summertime. I'm running through the Tram Common…"

I continued to explain as my false memory took me through those precious days from so long ago, vivid as the day I experienced them in the simulation. I was 15 again, tearing through the streets without a care in the world. Sora listened quietly, and it was like he was right there alongside me as I experienced it.

Part of me wondered if I should be crying. Like the emotions should be overwhelming me. But with Sora to comfort me, I had no reason to. Being with him felt like being home.

Realizing this, my eyes snapped open. Just like that, I was back in Wonderland, my arms tight around Sora. Leaning back, I looked at his confused face.

"Why'd you open your eyes?"

"I'd rather be here. I'd rather be with you."

I watched him turn red underneath his tan skin, could see every pore on his face, noticed the webbing of his irises as his pupils dilated. It was everything to me.

My heart swelled.

He was everything to me. Sora was my home.

Sora's words flew back into my mind, unbidden, "Everything you feel will be more intense—more real than anything's ever been."

Was I ever really awake up until now?

"In the gummi ship earlier," I muttered, "You said you had something to tell me."

He suddenly averted his gaze upward, chuckling nervously, "O-oh y–yeah… but… er, now really isn't the best time…"

Reaching up, I cupped his cheeks with my hands, forcing him to look back at me.

"If not now, then when?" Sora's lips parted to speak, but I wasn't finished: "Whatever words you planned on saying, I know I've dreamed about them. About what they could be, and what I want them to be. Sometimes they're everything I ever hoped for. Sometimes they're my worst nightmare. But I'm done waiting for you to say them. Because I know what they are."

Shock filled Sora's expression, his perfect blue eyes wider than I'd ever seen them. He rested his hands on my forearms, "Roxas, you're high–"

"I'm awake. I'm as awake as I'll ever be. And even if I'm not, even this is another dream," I pulled his face towards mine, "Don't wake me up."

My lips crashed into his. The sensation exploded in my skull, vibrating through every bone in my body. His hands tightened their grip as I began to pull back.

"No," He whispered into the centimeter space between us, "Please stay."

His lips came forward to meet mine. My mouth worked against his. My eyes were closed, but I could still see him clear as day behind my eyelids. Each breath, each heartbeat, everything around us was caught in our rhythm.

One of my hands slid up into brunet spikes. Sora's hands dropped from my forearms to my sides. Everywhere we made contact swirled with sensation, sending tendrils of life across my skin. My lips parted, my tongue thirsty for the taste of him. Our tongues met, chamomile and spice flooded my palate–

I knew that taste.

Pulling back, I sputtered, "Sora, you drank it too?"

He ducked his head down, "Yeah, I… didn't want you to feel alone. I wanted to be there with you and have a sense of what you were feeling. Ah, don't worry though! I only had about a cup, so I've just got a bit of euphoria and some visual stuff."

"Asshole," I chortled, "If we're both tripping, who's going to fly the Gummi Ship?"

Sora blinked at me once… twice… then, he flashed me a winning smile, "I'm sure it's obvious, but I definitely did not think about that."

The first laugh came out as a half-snort, like uncorking a bottle. Then, my laugher was washing over us in a spray of champagne. Sora joined me, giggles bubbling up to join mine. Then, we were giggling and pulling eachother close and kissing again. Somewhere between kisses we started walking toward the Gummi Ship. The walk along the beach was punctuated by muttering, chuckling, sighing, and more kissing. Time stretched on infinitely before us, the only thing in our world the sand beneath our feet and the beach to our right.

But before long, we were at the Gummi Ship. I knew this because the cool metal was suddenly against my back as Sora's body pressed against me. His leg between mine, shared breath leaving us in hot gasps. It wasn't enough. A need ricosheted through me.

"Right here," I hissed, "Right now."

"We're both–"

"Don't care."

I think Sora stoped caring too. Maybe he also realized that, in that little sliver of twisting time, where rainbows twirtled forever outward, the only thing that existed was our bodies entwined. I had been wrong about earlier, wrong about when we were laying on the grass: this was the moment where we were meant to be.

And the next day, when I awoke to find it wasn't just a dream, I knew it had been true.

Exeunt.

A/N: Hello! As usual, don't to drugs. But I'm a rando writer on the interwebs and I can't stop you from living your life. So please be safe, do your research, and look at the Additional Resources section on my profile to find more information about Harm Reduction. Take care of yourself. Please always remember that high consent is not consent–this is a work of fiction and should not be used to base reality on. Always communicate your boundaries with your partners and friends, and remember you don't owe anyone a "yes."

Would you like to see this turned into its own M-rated / Explicit standalone fic? That's a rhetorical question. I know you do. I do too. But I always appreciate the honesty anyway!

Inspo: "Walking on a Dream" by Empire of the Sun, "Do I Wanna Know?" by Arctic Monkeys, and "Meant to Love You" by Jauz ft. Rouxn (seizure warning on the music video).

The Big News™

I'm taking commissions now! Check out my Carrd: mewsomniac . carrd . co

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Yes, I spoiled this surprise at the beginning. I didn't want people to stop reading for some reason and miss out!

You see, I've been writing as a hobby for so long now, and I realized I have so much fun with the suggestions I've been given and the prompts I've played with. It's really hard to step outside of my comfort zone, though. I figured opening up commissions could be a really awesome way to help turn your ideas into something really cool!

(Note: my submissions box is still open. It just means I may suggest a commission for more complicated requests!)

Plus, your commissions will help me work up to eventually publishing my own original work. As I type this, I've been plugging away at a small-but-hopeful novel with an LGBTQIA+ cast. I wont say much else because I don't want to jinx myself, but your support is what's helping me get there. It's what's helped me get here.

If a commission interests you, or (plot twist) a beta reading,
check out my Carrd for all the info!

mewsomniac . carrd . co

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