Ch 2: Oh!

Jack spent the next day and a half trying to get to the bottom of Daniel and Carter's increasingly volatile moods. They either seemed joined at the hip and against the world, or they were at each other's throats. Jack had tried talking to them together, and separately, trying to get one of them to rat the other out.

It hadn't worked. He had enlisted Teal'c's help. Teal'c had suggested physically restraining them both and depriving them of anything but water until they worked out their problems. Jack wasn't quite that desperate yet, but he was getting there.

He had this horrible feeling in his gut that they were hiding a personal relationship from the SGC, and that was the source of the problem. The rational part of his brain pointed out that Daniel was married, and very much in love with his wife. Hell, the whole reason he was with the SGC was to find her. Still, the man could have resigned himself to the fact that his wife's mind was gone, and continued in search of her body to honor her memory only. Who knew?

Neither of them were talking, and his patience was almost completely gone. If they were having some sort of affair, it looked as though it was going to ruin SG-1. SG-1 had instantly felt like a family to him, and he really didn't want that to happen. Besides, HE had put aside all sorts of feelings for Carter already out of respect for their ranks and team, so it was hardly fair for Daniel to swoop in and just ignore all the rules.

He hadn't even let himself develop real feelings! There were just the beginnings of feelings, and he'd shut them away properly, as the Air Force demanded. Well, mostly anyway. They may have only been beginnings, but they were still very big beginnings… Still… he needed to get to the bottom of this before they went in the field again.

Maybe Dr. Fraiser would know something… Daniel spent a lot of time in the infirmary and he was quite the talkative lad, and Carter and the doc were close friends…

"Aw, come on, Doc, it's for their own good. I just want to help!" he was trying to wheedle Dr. Fraiser into spilling some beans, but she wasn't born yesterday.

"Colonel, for the last time, I will not betray doctor/patient confidentiality, nor will I betray the trust of people I consider to be my friends, no matter how much you throw your rank in my face."

"Doc, PLEASE," he begged, looking so desperate that Janet finally decided to help him out a bit.

"I haven't heard anything specific, Colonel, but I can wager a guess. And I would guess that everything you need to know is in their personnel files, Colonel," she said pointedly.

"What does that mean…"

"It means what it means. Now, please let me make my rounds."

"Thanks, doc," he said with a sigh, going back to his office.

He'd already read both their personnel files, of course, but it had been a while. He requisitioned them and got a very strange look from the SF that brought them, but he didn't let that deter him. He spent the next two hours combing through both of their files.

There was nothing in there he didn't already know, and nothing that would explain their moods. Teal'c entered and stood in front of O'Neill's desk with his usual formality. "O'Neill," he said.

"T, what's up?" Jack asked, tossing Carter's file down on top of Daniel's and rubbing his eyes. "I thought it my duty to inform you that Major Carter is in the infirmary."

"What happened?" he demanded suddenly. She probably electrocuted herself again…

"She is unharmed, O'Neill. It was not my intention to imply that she is injured…"

"All right, all right, just… what did you want to tell me?"

"She was most upset. I believe she was crying. Dr. Fraiser was trying to comfort her."

"I don't know what to do anymore, Teal'c… Fraiser told me to look through their personnel files. Said the answer to what's bugging them was right in there, but…" He opened them both and looked down at their pictures in frustration. Suddenly something caught his eye.

"What is it, O'Neill?"

"When's Carter's birthday?" he asked Teal'c, grabbing a piece of paper and scribbling something down.

"Of that I am unsure. It is not tradition to celebrate one's birth on Chulak."

"Really?"

"Indeed."

"Huh. Well, here it is. And here, when somebody turns a significant number, sometimes they… don't take it so well."

"And Captain Carter's birthday approaches?"

"Yeah, it's… Saturday. And here's the kicker. So is Daniel's."

"Dr. Jackson was born on the same day as Captain Carter?"

"Apparently. I'm guessing that's why they're both so upset. She's turning the big 3-0 and he's turning the big 3-5. That's got to be it…" he actually laughed in relief. And he'd thought they were having an affair… he laughed again.

"What is so amusing, O'Neill?"

"Just… nothing. I'm used to feeling like the most immature member of the team, that's all. I mean I know they're the kids but… anyway. It's just nice to see them feeling… human."

"Nice? I find it most disturbing, O'Neill."

"Yeah… well, lucky for us, I know how to fix this problem."

"Indeed?"

"Yeah. Be ready to come home with me tomorrow night. We're having a party."

"If they are indeed upset by the aging process, might that not further antagonize them?"

"Yeah, at first. But you underestimate how charming I can be. Besides. It's ridiculous for them to be so upset by such a small number. And I'm going to be sure they know it. Incidentally, how old are you, Teal'c?"

"I am over one hundred years of age, O'Neill."

"Really? Wow. Well, let's keep that as our little ace in the hole if my shindig fails to bring them back to the world of normal people."

"There are many things about that statement I do not understand."

"Yeah, don't sweat it. Actually… tomorrow night… I'm going to need some time to get ready for this. You're going to have to help me get them to my house, Teal'c."

"I am as anxious for their disturbing behavior to desist as you are, O'Neill. I shall help you in any way possible."

"Thanks, buddy."

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A/N: I know, Carter was in all likelihood older than 30 in Season 1, but for this to work I had to give her a milestone b-day. I hope it doesn't bother anybody too much - she's quite smart, it's entirely possible she finished school very early.