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disclaimer- not mine, plot maybe but not the characters

A/N- oh my god, BLINK ROCKSSSSSSS !!!!....... I keep listening to it all day long ..... god it's sooo good !!!!!!...... anyways, THX to all of the people that reviewed my fanfic !!!! (you wouldn't believe how good that feels :D :D :D ... ) so thx to muggsie :) (I already thanked the 2 first reviewers before ... but thx anyways XD !!!)

and a big fat THANK to muggsie (again ;) ) for the fav :) :) (my very first fav !!!!! TT thank you thank you)....... thankssssss again to all of the people that added me to their alert watch list : Muggsie(again, thk U thk U), Tseshi-S-chan, Shadowed Past, mewsue, nat25, AND Celeste Jacobs. :)

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LET ME LOVE YOU

chapter 3 - so clueless

I sat besides him, in Mrs. Pomfrey's office. He was still unconscious, almost 20 minutes after I casted the spell. I felt really bad. What if he was gonna go mad like Gilderoy ? What if I didn't erase the right part of his memory...? Questions, doubts, insecurities crawled in my head, and I could do nothing but wait.

He had got some blush back, so he didn't look as dead as when I just hexed him. He breathed slowly and steadily, but in such a delicate way that it was almost unnoticeable. His soft and blond hair shined at some times, when the branches of the tree just behind the office's window would let the sun bare, letting its rays caress his face.

Yup, I felt sappy around him. It is at this precise time, in this office, waiting for him to wake up, that I realized I didn't have a crush on him. I just loved him. But that, I swore to myself he would never ever know. Because, if he came to know, what would be his first reaction ? Laugh at me. I just knew. At least I thought I knew.

I had a hard time hiding the truth to Mrs. Pomfrey. When Malfoy passed out, I took him in my arms (and oh my he was light) and I ran as fast as I could to the nurse office. I was in some kind of trance, I think that was why I didn't think about casting a levitating spell or whatever of the kind. When I got there, Pomfrey asked me a bunch of questions my brain wasn't ready yet to process and answer. When I caught my breath, she asked it all again, and I mumbled some quickly made-up story I don't even remember. She looked at me like I was some kind of zoo specimen, and declared there was nothing to do but wait. I was lucky she didn't try anything to find out which spell was last casted on him. That would have been trouble.

I heard someone entering the room. I turned around to face this someone. The someone was actually Hermione, and she didn't look as happy as me to see her. She pulled a chair and set it by me. Looking away from me, she murmured

"Harry, I have to talk to you. We know you have a lot to do, and we know you have much on your mind, but please listen. Ron and I are worried about you. You won't talk to us if we don't come to you. You haven't spend much time with us, and it is as if we aren't friends anymore. I don't know why you don't care about us anymore, but we feel hurt Harry...."

"Mione I--"

"Let me finish please. We joined the order. You know us. We trust in you, and we need you. Ron is getting upset about it. You don't want our company, or at least it appears so, since you turn angry really easily in the common room and the dormitory - according to Ron. And I must admit, I don't know what to think anymore. We love you Harry, just give us a sign, we'll respond. If anything is troubling you, tell us. We're your friends.... or at least, we thought we were."

"Mione I... I'm sorry I--"

"Then what is the matter ? Don't keep everything for yourself.....! I'd be so happy to help you.... and we just... we miss you..."

She looked down. I felt sorry. Since the beginning of the year, I actually didn't pay much attention to them...

I hugged her.

"I'm sorry Hermione.. I had so much on my mind lately, I.... I don't know... I forgot... I know this sounds so lame, but so much is happening... you and Ron are doing so much, I can't thank you enough.... and I know I'm not easy to live with."

I gave her a gauche smile. She smiled back.

"I'm so happy you weren't mad at us for some reason..." she sighed in relief and hugged me tighter.

"No actually, I'll tell you; I was told to ..... ermmmm ..... I don't quite know how to put it....." I thought a bit and ended up saying "Well, anyways, Malfoy is the center of the trouble, as usual."

At this very moment, I noticed he was awake, and staring at me. I quickly pulled back from Hermione's arms. She didn't notice him, kissed me on the cheek, and said happily

"Thank you Harry, I am so glad we clarified all of this, nothing will get in our way now !" she winked and left.

Oh. my. I hope he doesn't think that she is--

"Potter, is she your girlfriend or something ?" were the first words he said.

"I...well... anyways. How do you feel ?"

"Since when do you care how I feel ? And why the heck am I here ....?" he frowned and looked around.

"Malfoy, I need to know, how do you feel ?"

"I hate it, I don't get what's going on.. last thing I remember is me walking out of some period..... whichever it was, and then I--" he tried to get up. He stopped and made a face. He rushed his hands on his head and swore softly.

"Are you okay ? Please tell me, Malfoy, are you all---"

he began shouting at me

"Why do you fucking care ?!!! I don't need ----"

"I ASKED YOU, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT !" I snapped..... all riiiiiiight .....

He looked at me with round eyes. It was almost like his mouth would hang open. Strangely Pomfrey wasn't alarmed by the noise. She didn't show up.

I breathed in heavily, and sighed. I took my head in my hands. I began muttering

"I'm sorry Malfoy.... I... well, I guess you know you are a pain in the ass. Now, would you please mind answering me ? Are you feeling good ? I do care, so please tell me."

He pouted.

"I'm good. Thanks." he grumbled.

"Now please, tell me again, what is the last thing you remember....?"

"I don't why, out of all people, you should be the one I should answer to."

"Malfoy, let me get this straight. You do know as well as me that Snape AND MacGonagall want us to get along. They told you to try to establish some contact with me, and now the told me to come to you. So please, give it a try. Be cooperative."

He looked at me, like he was evaluating if I was worthy of his company.

"All right."

I held out my hand. He hesitated at first, but then took it. I smiled. He gave me a dubious look, and tried his best to achieve something of a smile. His face almost looked cheerful. He had a something that made me think of a porcelain doll. Suddenly, his face went back to the pouting mode, and he broke the silence

"So what now ?"

I sighed. This was going to be hard.

TBC

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A/N- WOOOhooooooo !!!! Isn't it cuteeeeee ???? Finally ! XD They're not enemies anymore :D ! I had so much writing this !... It's pretty short but well ....... THX for making it up to here ! :) please review ! love you all !!!!