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disclaimer - not mine.

A/N-(let's call it thanks, cause that's basically what it is)- Thanks to my new reviews ! :) I feel... so .... loved XD ! So thanx a lot to Fairytale-princess-504, random91, and Gya ! :) (and muggsie again ! XD )

Fairytale-princess-504, your review made me feel so proud of my work XD .... having you write the "pleasepleaseplease" made me feel so darn good XD ...

random91, you telling me about your friend showing my fanfic ..... wheeeeee happy and there IS more to come... :) still some parts are kinda blurry in my mind, but I pretty much know what's gonna happen.....

Gya, you review, specially the "geez, another silly hyper story." made me laugh so much XD .... (yeah I know, I'm a pretty hysterical person .....)

(and muggsie again, love you ! ;p )

btw, random91, I love you for the fav ;) plus the alert watch list, thx for the watch list, findingEMO and berlouche.

anyways, a big, fat, slimy, glossy, and wet THANK to you all ! (you make me keep on going ! :D )

Blink rocks, did you know that ? In particular, listen to "story of a lonely guy", "the rock show", and "first date". These are so cool it makes my eyes water kinda.... I'm so in love with it ..... oh, school starts over tomorrow, so I may not keep the 1 chapter/day pace. It sucks but, oh wow, I'll have more time to stalk my "Draco" there.... (yup !!!!! I found someone that looks so like Draco ! he's way hotter than Tom Felton... :p ((sorry to the fans))... Tom Felton's okay, but he isn't that photogenic. Draco is way sexier in my mind..... :L ....)

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LET ME LOVE YOU

chapter 4 - So complicated

I was perfectly fine. I had an alibi to spend time with Malfoy. He didn't ignore me anymore. Sometimes, he would even say hi to me on his own, and when that would happen, I would feel great for the rest of the day. Of course, I didn't spend hours and hours with him. Not only would it be weird, but he just..... didn't.... wasn't.... he wasn't used to me I'd say. When we would be together, we wouldn't really say anything. He was not talkative, and that wasn't just because he was with me. I guess that's what he always was like. I asked him a few times about how he acted around Crabbs and Goyle, and he only told me they were idiots, and it wasn't worth wasting his saliva talking to them. According to him, they didn't even understand him half the time. I guess that must have been pretty hard to put up with those.

Most of the time, he wouldn't answer my questions. But he sure would get his way when asking me questions. He can be such a pest he wants to. Actually, even when he didn't do it on purpose, he would still manage to be a pain. I don't quite know why, but I actually got to like this side of his personality....

I mean, come on, he is adorable.

I enjoyed all of that while I could. And then, it happened.

I was in the Griffindor common room, having fun with Ron and Hermione. Ron was actually really open when I came to give him my apologies. (Which I thought was pretty weird, since he is the kind not to forget that kind of thing easily, but well.) Now we would spend more time together. I actually had more time since things were smooth with Malfoy. Hermione and I were teasing Ron, choosing for him which girl would make a cute couple with him, when someone entered the common room, exhausted. He was tall, skinny, and looked like he was a seventh year. He called all the present Griffindors.

"People, Ijustsawthethreeofthem...!" he blurted all at once

Everyone looked at him like he was coming from Venus clothed with diapers and pink socks.

"What ? Don't tell me you don't know ?"

"What is it then ?" said someone.

"They broke in !!! Students were injured ! Badly wounded...! You don't know that ?"

"They who?" asked the same someone.

"They the death eaters !"

We heard a unique gasp, that actually was everyone's. Then a heavy silence fell. No one dared to talk. Even the seventh year was still uncertain about telling the rest of his story. He finally decided he could go on

"A group of three students were off in the forbidden forest. They weren't clear about what they were doing there, but they told everything about the assault. Two death eaters were there. From what I understood, one was an animagus, transforming in some kind of dog - or not sure if it was a wolf too - and the other one kept his face hidden under a hood. Apparently, after immobilizing them - at the price of pretty bad looking wounds - they said something like 'he is not here. You three tell them we are watching' and they disappeared. You should see them now, they're like they've seen You-Know-Who."

No one dared to move. It all felt stuffy suddenly. Then, one blond girl got up, pale, and went to her dormitory. Everyone imitated her. Except me. Too much was going on in my mind to clearly know what to do. When re-played the boy's speech in my head, I got stuck on the words "he is not here". He. Malfoy.....?

I had to know. I ran out of the room, climbed down stairs, ran through deserted corridors, passed countless doors. I finally found a living soul ; professor MacGonagall. Fortunately, exactly one of the people I wished to meet.

"Oh Potter ! What are doing here ?! I mean, are you okay ? Do you know about it ? " she pressed

"Professor ! I know what happened. What are we going to do ? Are we gonna take action ? Does Malfoy have anything to do with it ?"

"Don't worry Potter, Malfoy is safe... for the moment. No outsider can enter Hogwarth while Dumbledor is here."

Yeah right, Sirius broke in once... this really doesn't make me feel any better...

"The Order is going to meet as soon as possible. Do not try anything harsh Potter. We can't afford you to be off somewhere without us knowing. Now please, go to the Griffindor tower." and she hurried away.

I caught up to her, and urged

"Professor, how is Malfoy ? Could you tell me where he is ?"

"He is safe, do not worry..."

"Please tell me, where is he ?"

"Do not fret, he is all right. Now please go."

"I beg you professor, please tell me ! Where is he ?" I begged her.

She stopped and looked at me like I was demented. She thought and then murmured

"I did not know you two were this close. I will tell you. I do not know. Snape took him. Malfoy was dreadfully frightened. He told us quite much about the Dark Lord's army, which caused him to get paranoid. He knows they were here for him. Now Potter, go."

"Thank you professor" I managed to say.

She left. I stood. He was in danger. Exactly what I feared would happen. I began running. To Snape's office. I needed to see him. I needed to be by him. I needed to see he was all right. Particularly because I knew he wasn't. And I didn't know how right I was.

I finally got to Snape's office. I opened the door. No one.

FUCK ! This is driving me crazy ! Where is that crackbrained SNAPE ? WHERE THE HELL DID HE.....

I tried to get a hold of my feelings, breathed, and thought.

He probably was off to some urgent meeting with all the staff. That would be the more realistic guess I could take. I couldn't go there, since I was supposed to be at my house.

Something fell. Something that sounded like metal, or a blade of some sort. I was never good with analyzing sounds anyways. I heard a whimper. I entered the office. I just realized it wasn't locked. Guess that Snape hasted too much. The whines turned into whispers. That was Draco !

"Draco where are you ?"

The mumbles stopped.

"It's me, Harry.... I mean, errr well, Potter ..."

I caught rattleling sounds. Then nothing. One part of the left wall opened up, a secret door, and Malfoy appeared. He looked frightened. His hands were shaking. he tried to hide it as well as he could. he gave me one of the darkest looks I ever saw him giving.

"Thank goodness you are here...! Malfoy....I...oh my .... I was so worried..!" I stuttered. I hated me for it, but the matter was way too alarming to have that kind of thoughts.

I went to him, so I could hug him. I wanted to reassure him, to hold him against me, I wanted.... I wanted to have a concrete evidence he was with me. I know, love makes us think in really sappy ways, but I learned to put up with it.

Unfortunately, he saw my move and backed up.

"What is it with you ? Do you think you're my mom or something to hug me ? Did I even ever ask you to come see me ...?" he flared out. His mouth was still half opened. He looked at me like I was the most disgusting thing on Earth ever.

I was annihilated. I couldn't believe it. I was on the verge of falling apart, I was worried sick for him. His only feedback was sickened looks.

I leaned against a wall. I took my head in my hands.

"Why...? Malfoy....I...I don't get it...." I managed to babble.

"Why ? Why ? .... why.... cuz." he looked away.

I didn't dare to say anything. He didn't say anything either.

"Cuz I hate it when people touch me. Not to mention..... you ........" he thought good to add.

That was too much. I know I wasn't suppose to love him, I know it was all wrong. I knew I shouldn't have become that attached to him. But how could I do otherwise ? He has always hated me, and even though I thought it was over, I was just proved wrong.

"Sorry..." I whispered.

I got up. He backed away a little. I got out of the office and began running. I was on the verge of crying.

Fuck you Harry, you're such a wimp ! Stop it ! Don't you dare CRY........

"Potter !" he shouted. Since I kept on going, he thought good to run after me. "POTTER WAIT !" He quickly caught up with me. He also caught my sweater's sleeve. I lost my balance, him too, and we miserably crashed to the floor.

When he got back from the pain he muttered

"Look, I'm sorry Potter....."

I laid pitifully on the floor. I didn't respond.

"I'm freaking out... so .... I'm.... I'm not really controlling what I'm doing...."

I still didn't move.

"I....aughhhh... screw it ! Okay, I am glad you came to see me."

We were still both laying on the floor. He was on his back staring at the ceiling. I was on my side. When his last words were repeated enough times for my brain to assimilate them, I smiled the widest smile I ever smiled.

He put his hand on my shoulder, and made me face the ceiling. He gave me a dull look that turned into astonishment.

"Potter..... you... you cried ..... your eyes are red..."

"Whatever." That made me go back to sulking mode.

"No, really, you did."

"Like I didn't know."

"I'm...I'm sorry... I....."

"Shut up." he was driving me crazy.

"Potter, I... I really----"

"I said shut up !"

"POTTER LET ME FINISH ALREADY ! I CARE ABOUT YOU..." he shouted. he was short breathed.

"Oh....." My turn to be astonished. I... I was happy. "I..... Thanks. I care about you too Malfoy."

He smiled in some sad way.

"Can I hug you ?" came from both of our mouths at the same time. We smiled real smiles.

I finally hugged him. He hugged me back. I was so happy I forgot everything about the death eaters, the order, the everything. Malfoy was hugging me.

He sighed.

"By the way, did you call me Draco ?"

Why does he always have to ruin everything ?

TBC.

A/N- so far, I think this was the best chapter ! :) I hoped you enjoyed it !!! Thanks for making it up to here !!! I am having great fun writing this ! :) now serious stuffs are gonna happen .... I'll have to study the combat spells and everything though ....... anyways, please review ! :)

and thanks again for reading it all ! love you all !!!!

btw, if anyone could be my beta reader........ I'd be happy to collaborate ! :)

neko