A/N: Thanks for all the input on the ages of the characters. I wasn't aware they had ever actually shown Carter's b-day/year. Ah well, I just like how much more laid back everyone (except Teal'c) was in Season 1.

Ch 3: Planning

Figuring he was going to be walking a fine line between succeeding and succeeding in royally pissing off his 2IC and the resident geek in one fell swoop, he decided the best tactic would be to go completely overboard in the hope of amusing them enough to not be upset with him. It was a tactic that had worked in the past for him, with his wife, on more than one occasion.

Therefore, he surprised General Hammond by requesting to go home at noon the next day, saying that he felt like he was coming down with something. Hammond was surprised, but O'Neill had a lot of down-time stored up that he was never going to use, and if the man was suddenly volunteering to take it easy, Hammond wasn't going to argue.

O'Neill did leave, but he did not take it easy.

He went to the grocery store, stocked up on alcohol and party supplies, and then went to the bakery.

"Can I help you?" the large woman behind the counter asked with a warm smile.

"Ah, yeah… I'm gonna need two cakes, as fast as possible."

"All right, sir, that shouldn't be a problem. What kind?"

"Umm… whatever you have that has the most chocolate in it."

"Ah, no problem. I know the perfect kind… you want them both to be the same?"

"Yeah… wait…" He wandered over to a book of decorating possibilities and got an idea. "Can you have any of these ready by tonight?" he asked as he flipped through it.

"Sure. We're not particularly busy today, I could take care of that. What do you want?"

"One with the dinosaurs on it that says 'Happy Birthday Danny,'" he said decisively. "And the other… ah yes, perfect… the astronaut cake, but make it say 'Happy Birthday… Sam.'"

"No problem, sir."

"Wait… do you have a girl astronaut, by any chance?"

The woman gave him a strange look. "No, sir, we don't… how would you be able to tell in a space suit though?"

"Oh. Good point. Never mind. Can you put some of these aliens from this design on the astronaut…"

"Sure. No problem, sir. Come back in two hours."

"Excellent. Thanks."

He realized he didn't have gifts for either of them. True, the party could be considered a gift, but you had to have gifts on your birthday… he knew Daniel had no family at all and he'd never heard Carter mention hers. Surely they'd exchange gifts with each other, but he needed to get them something as well.

He hurried to the mall and realized he had no idea what to get either of them. At least not anything that could be found in a mall.

He wandered around for a while, glancing at his watch nervously. He was about to give up when he stumbled across a store and grinned. Perfect. The Discovery Channel store. He quickly found some things for both of them and took them all to the counter. "Do you gift wrap by any chance?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, sir, absolutely. You can make out the cards yourself while I wrap them."

"Great. They're for two separate people though…"

"No problem, just tell me which ones go in separate boxes."

"Perfect."

By the time he was done shopping, all that was left to do was pick up the cakes. As soon as he walked into the store, the woman smiled at him again. "They're finished," she told him before he could ask. "Have a look."

She showed them to him hopefully. "What do you think?"

"They're perfect. Thank you so much."

"No problem, sir."

He handed her his credit card. As she rung him up she asked, "Twins?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Do you have twins?"

He looked at the cakes and realized it probably did look like he had twin children. "Oh… um… yeah." It was much simpler than telling the truth.

"Well, have a great party!" she said as he stacked the boxes on top of one another.

"Thank you," he said, carefully taking them out to his truck.

He went home and made several trips to get all of his purchases inside. He looked around his house, which was surprisingly clean, only because of the fact that he spent most of his time away from it. He did some minor straightening up and then started decorating it for the 'party.'

He thought about calling Dr. Fraiser and inviting her and Cassie, but then he thought if Carter and/or Daniel ended up not being happy with the party, it would be better to keep it between the four of them. After getting everything else ready, he got himself ready. He took a shower and got dressed casually in khakis and a green button-up shirt.

The plan was for Teal'c to call Daniel, insisting that he give him a ride over to Jack's to check on him, as he'd gone home from work 'sick' that day. And insist Carter come too. It wasn't a complicated plan, but Jack knew his team well enough to know that neither of them would refuse their large Jaffa friend when he insisted on something.