Ch 4: Party
Sure enough, they arrived just after the pizza did, at seven. Jack answered the door wearing two cone-shaped birthday hats on his head like horns and blew a horn. "Surprise!" he yelled with a grin.
They both looked at him in shock, then looked slowly at each other. "How did he…" Carter started, while Daniel said, "Did you tell him…"
"I found it in your personnel files!" he said, pulling Carter inside while Teal'c nudged Daniel in. "Happy birthday, kids! You should have told us about this, ya know," he scolded jokingly.
Jack watched Sam and Daniel looking around the house at the decorations. Okay, maybe he'd gone a BIT overboard, but he'd wanted to do the thing properly… there were clusters of balloons placed randomly throughout the house, as well as a big banner that said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" only he had added another S at the end to make it plural. There were a bunch of streamers thrown about as well.
They turned to Teal'c suddenly, who was smiling for a change. "You knew!?" they both cried.
"Indeed," he said, bowing slightly. "I have been researching this Earth custom since Colonel O'Neill mentioned it to me. I am happy to get the chance to witness it for myself."
They nodded slowly.
"So, kids, put on your hats!" Jack insisted, handing Teal'c a party hat.
Carter reached for one as well but he said, "No, the birthday boy and girl get special hats!"
"Special?" Daniel started to ask, but it was too late. Jack had already slapped a gold glittery plastic top hat on his head. Sam was laughing heartily at it when he put a tiara on top of her head, which shut her up promptly, but amused Daniel greatly.
"All right, now everyone's dressed for the party… let's all go eat the pizza before it gets cold!" He all but shoved them into the living room, which was decorated like the rest of the house. They noticed the small piles of presents on the sofa table in surprise.
Teal'c solemnly pulled out two hidden packages from his coat and added them to the table.
"Presents are after cake," Jack insisted as he helped himself to some pizza.
"Cake?" Carter asked with a smile.
"Yup. And cake is after pizza and beer."
"Ah, just like my fifth birthday…" she said sarcastically.
He laughed. "Very good, Carter."
After their initial surprise at the ambush wore off, Carter and Daniel were both touched by how much trouble he had gone to for their birthdays, even though they still weren't happy about the fact that they were aging. Jack's childlike approach to the party (aside from the beer, of course) was making it easier to forget though, especially for Carter, who perked up quite a bit when she realized she was still the youngest person in the room by five years.
When they were done with the pizza, Jack cleared the mess away into the kitchen and came back shouting, "Time for party games!"
"Games?" Daniel asked skeptically.
"Yeah. Come on. Pin the tail on the donkey everyone!"
He had indeed purchased a pin-up donkey, which was quickly taped to the wall.
"Teal'c, what are you doing?" Jack asked as he tied a blindfold on Carter.
"I read much about this celebration ritual, O'Neill," Teal'c said calmly. "It is customary to film the party for posterity."
"Yeah for a little kid…"
"Daniel Jackson has been agreeing to allow me to try out his video camera for some time. This is the perfect opportunity."
"Ohfercryinoutloud. All right. Come on, Carter, pin the tail on the…"
"You have to spin her around first," Daniel insisted. He had had two beers and was already more than a little drunk, and now having a wonderful time.
"Oh yeah, okay… you're not going to puke on me, are ya Carter?" he asked as he twirled her around by her shoulders.
"No, sir," she said with a giggle. "I'm not as much of a lightweight as Daniel."
"Hey!" Daniel objected. "I'm not drunk!"
"Right," they both said.
Jack pointed her in the direction of the wall and said, "Okay, go for it."
She was taking forever. "SAM!" Daniel whined.
"All right all right." She stuck it on the wall randomly and pulled off the blindfold.
"Not bad," Jack said as he started to blindfold Daniel.
It wasn't on the donkey, but it was only a few inches from his bum.
Daniel took a lot more time first to find the wall, then to decide where the tail ought to go, but finally he pinned it right on top of the donkey's eye. "Aw," he said when he saw where it had ended up.
Jack and Teal'c both took turns, although Teal'c insisted it was a pointless game, even though he won.
Next, Jack insisted they play several rounds of musical chairs, but they had to stop when he, Daniel, and Sam were having a round and Sam ended up in his lap over a fight for one chair and Daniel slid right off the one he was diving for and crashed into the gift table.
After ensuring that he was all right, Jack decided it was time for cake. "Okay, you guys sit down at the table," he instructed, pushing them into the dining room.
Teal'c followed, continuing to film.
"I'll be right back with the cakes."
He went into the kitchen and lit all of the sparkler candles he had outlined their cakes with and carefully carried them both into the dining room.
"Oh my god!" Sam exclaimed as she saw the cakes and the sparklers.
"Wow," Daniel said, reaching out to scoop off some icing.
"Not yet!" Jack insisted, turning to Teal'c.
"You remember the song, right buddy?"
"Indeed."
They sang loudly and enthusiastically, Jack more so than Teal'c. He drew the song out louder than any of them had thought possible, and by the time it ended they were all laughing.
It took several breaths for them to blow out their candles. "I don't want to count these," Sam said wearily as they started pulling them off.
"I didn't count them they're just for decoration."
"Speaking of decoration…" Daniel said. With the lights back on and the candles removed, they could fully appreciate their cakes. "Cool dinosaurs."
"Get it? Cause you're an archaeologist…"
"I get it. It's great! Thanks, Jack. Really. This is… great."
Jack suddenly remembered that Daniel's parents had died when he was very young. He smiled sympathetically and was taken aback when the young man suddenly launched out of his seat at him, hugging him so tightly he turned to Teal'c for help even as he patted Daniel on the back.
"Um, bud? Little help here, there's a Daniel on me."
Sam giggled at that, but Teal'c merely said, "I am busy with the camera, O'Neill."
Daniel returned himself to his seat and Jack turned to Sam. "Where's my hug, Carter?" he asked teasingly, expecting her to blush and avert her eyes.
To his surprise, she said, "All right, sir," and launched herself at him as well in a perfect imitation of Daniel. When she had returned to her seat, they were both ready for cake, and hardly able to contain their excitement.
"Yeah, you guys may be thirty today. And thirty five," Jack said as he started cutting into the cakes. "But I'd say you're acting more like your shoe sizes than your ages tonight, so don't worry about it."
He handed them large slices and new beers, then cut pieces for himself and Teal'c. They all dug into the cake.
Daniel actually had a glob of icing on his chin. Sam giggled at it, confirming Jack's suspicions that his 2IC was, despite her insistence, getting a little tipsy.
"You've got icing on your face," she informed him around a large bite of cake. Daniel wiped at his face hastily.
"So do you," Jack told her.
"What? No I don't," she insisted.
He scooped some icing off the edge of the cake and said, "Yeah you do. Right here." And he globbed some on the end of her nose.
Daniel, apparently, thought this was the funniest thing he'd ever seen, because he fell out of his chair laughing and had to be helped up by Jack.
When they had all finished their cake, Jack said, "Okay, time for presents now, guys."
They all went back into the living room to open their gifts. Daniel and Sam had already exchanged gifts earlier. Ironically, they had both gotten each other large quantities of their favorite blends of coffee. Sam explained this to the group and pecked Daniel on the cheek.
Teal'c had selected specific candles for each of them that he promised, when lit together, would help relax their minds and spirits and lead to better sleep.
"You just make sure you don't fall asleep with those on and burn down the base," Jack insisted.
"Yes, sir," Carter said seriously, hurrying over to Teal'c and hugging him and pecking him on the cheek.
Teal'c looked as surprised as he ever did. The Jaffa were not an overtly affectionate people. Daniel just made a snorting sound. He was really quite drunk by this point.
Jack gave Daniel a build-a-dinosaur kit, and a pen that was shaped like a mummy, and a pair of boxers with aliens on them. He gave Sam a little stuffed alien doll thingy, a glow-in-the-dark bouncy ball made to look like a globe, and a shirt with the periodic table on the back of it. On the front it said, "Science is pHun."
She mock-glared at him as she read it, and informed them all that the table was missing several elements she had discovered off-world.
"That's why I knew you'd love it so much," he said triumphantly.
She laughed and threw it at him, then turned to Daniel, who was laughing hysterically at the fact that he'd stuck the two bows from the boxes onto his gray tee-shirt, approximately where his nipples were.
"Nice rack, Danny," Jack said, laughing. They didn't even match, one was red, one was green.
"Thanks, Jack," he said, continuing to laugh at his own comedic genius.
"Hey Carter, I'm the only one who doesn't get a thank you?" he asked suddenly, turning to her and putting on a hurt puppy look.
In her slightly inebriated state, it took her mind a few seconds to realize what he was talking about. When it clicked, she blushed madly and pecked him on the cheek as fast as humanly possible. "That was... weird," Daniel commented.
"Yeah, no more beer for you," Jack told Daniel. "Okay, Teal'c, you're being left out of the festivities with that camera, turn it off," O'Neill instructed suddenly.
"Indeed I am not…"
"Yeah ya are. Besides, this party's about to become R-rated, so switch it off."
Teal'c switched it off in confusion. Everyone was looking at him suspiciously. "Okay, not R-rated, but I thought that would make the video more interesting… maybe PG-13..."
He disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a large tray.
"Are those…" Sam started to ask.
"Jell-o shots!" he said proudly. "Made by yours truly, for the blue jell-o loving birthday girl!"
"What are jell-o shots?" Daniel asked.
"You're kidding!" Sam said, laughing.
"Didn't do a lot of partying in college, didya Danny boy?" Jack asked, passing him one.
"No."
"Try it. You'll like it."
He eyed it suspiciously, but as Sam had already eagerly gulped one down, he followed suit.
"WOA!" he said after he had swallowed. "What IS that…"
"Jell-o and vodka," Jack informed him, clapping him on the back.
"Indeed?" Teal'c asked, taking one himself to sample.
"Now kids, slow down," Jack said. "These are for another game I had in mind."
Carter, the only other person in the room who could possibly have a clue what that meant, looked at him suspiciously. Another game…
"Truth or dare," he said. "And if we think you're lying or you won't do the dare, you do a shot."
"I'm game," Carter said, looking at Daniel.
"All right, but be nice to me, if I drink much more I'll be throwing up all over your house, Jack."
"Yeah, about that... you should probably all stay here tonight," he suggested. They all shrugged and agreed. "Okay. Teal'c, do you know how to play this game?"
"I believe its name is self-explanatory, O'Neill."
Sam giggled. Daniel snorted, then sneezed.
"Bless you," they all said absently.
"Thanks guys..."
"I guess we'll let sneezy go first since he's the birthday boy."
"I'm the birthday girl!" Sam objected.
"Age before beauty, Carter, get used to it," he said absently, passing Daniel some tissues. "Who's your first victim, Danny boy?"
"Umm... Jack. Since we all know how old Sam and I are now, how old are YOU?"
"Hmm, let me just do the math there..."
"Jack..."
"Forty-five. Now respect your elders, Spacemonkey, hand me another beer. It's my turn. Teal'c."
"O'Neill."
"Is it even possible for you to get drunk?"
"Of that I am unsure. My symbiote would require a massive volume of your alcohol, as you call it, to feel its effects. Even then I am uncertain. Of course, on Chulak, we have many drinks strong enough to cause a similar reaction to the one you are all currently experiencing."
"Aw, sorry, Teal'c..."
"I am not troubled by it, O'Neill. I am enjoying this birthday party immensely."
"Good. Now you get to pick somebody."
"All right... O'Neill. Truth or dare."
"Truth."
"Was it you who replaced my large sized towel with a handcloth last week while I was showering, knowing that the locker room was slated to become the women's locker room in mere minutes?"
Jack glanced around at his team, took a good hard look at Teal'c's impressive muscles, and grabbed a shot of jell-o in response. "As I suspected," Teal'c said, tipping his head.
"All right, let's see, who hasn't been picked on yet..." Jack asked in an overly-dramatic tone. "Ah, the birthday girl. Truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"Okay, let's see... ooh I've got one... that mole that your lovely robot counterpart mentioned..."
She blushed and grabbed a jell-o shot.
"Damn," he said dramatically, although he hadn't really expected her to answer.
"Daniel," she said quickly, to get the attention off of herself. "Truth or dare?"
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A/N: Next chapter is the last, and it's shippier than my usual stuff, which is probably why I never posted this one before, now that I think about it. Oh well.