I am not a strong person...
I never have been, and I never will be...
Sure I may look like it on the outside. Hell – I've altered my body to make myself look like that. But I'm not really as strong as I must seem, yet people don't seem to understand me...
Sure I can play-strong, I can pretend to be able to stand up every day and pretend that nothing's happening when in reality the world is spinning around me and I just want it to be level again. I wake up every morning with the same thought – 'oh God, here we go again'- and I am forced to do the same thing time after time. Sometimes it gets so hard to breathe and it feels like something is clogging the blood in my veins and making my fingers and feet and brain and heart go numb. The world is slowly closing up around me and it just goes faster and faster and I just want it to STOP!-
-But good God when it does finally stop, and I let myself collapse, I remember. God do I remember everything that has happened, and how, and when, and where such things have happened. I remember everything I hate and dread to remember, yet I remember never the less.
As soon as I heard he had died, I felt something snap within me that ate up the piece of my heart - an endless void of darkness and pain. There had always been a line of understanding between the two of us, and suddenly he was gone and the line was left disconnected. I was left alone in the world, unable to be understood or understand anyone like that again - for he was gone. Yet that night....
I remember the night I realized he was truly dead, and I finally gave into the brooding feeling at the bottom of my heart and let myself break.
I was huddled up in my own dark room, shivering with The fever that had to be the highest I can remember having. I barley remember Hatori being there but now he tells me I scared him bad. I was a step or two away from dying – I know that today. I had been killing myself slowly for the past 3 months since his death and I was so thin and so week and so – so tired. I was so tired of it that I almost gave up that night and let The fever take me…
And then…I felt him....
I felt my bickering partner, my senior, by cousin, my good – maybe even my best - friend sitting in my room with me. I kid you not, I felt him. It might be The fevers fault at first, because I suddenly knew that he had been dead for a while and so¼ I accepted. Of course it's more in depth then that, but that was just the way it felt. And suddenly he was there, The fever was fading, and I broke down and realized that I bragged about more strength and pride then I really hade.
I'm broken, and now – a year later- I finally feel well enough to pick up the pieces of my fragile self-awareness and start to be myself again.
Though I'll never be as strong as I seem on the outside again. Not while I'm still picking up the fragments of myself and remembering what my name is. I have help now though, from him and Tohru.
I need to be strong somehow, no matter what I do. I need my limits to be tested again and I need to see if I can stand on my own two feet. I needed to support someone again¼ myself…. before I can give strength to the others that needed it. And I have...
… At least I have for now ¼
Strange Happening's
By SAL-Chan
*Part Eight: Surprises
~The ones closet to you are the ones that hurt you the most... ~
~*~
The sun was hidden behind light gray clouds that ate at the sky, creating a mild light that captivated the earth. The ground was covered in a blanked of white, snow still cascading down from the sky quieting the earth with its appearance. The trees outside were covered in a film of soft white that was shaken off a single tree by a bird recovering from a short flight out of this room.
The room itself was cold, yet any large room like this normally was. The wood underneath me was cold enough to slide through my dress pants and attack my legs like no tomorrow, creating goose bumps on my legs as well as my arms. The walls of the room were darker the further away you got from the open screen door, the thin paper on the doors chilled and soaked with water. The fact that he never really had heat on at all in the entire house helped with the endless cold that stretched thought the hall I came from.
All this cold around me could do nothing but heighten the fear I felt in my heart. The only time I ever felt like this was when I was here, but normally it wasn't this bad. We all share a common fear of Akito, yet people like Hatori and myself are able to hide it. It's an ability I'm not too proud of, but it's the most useful one I have. Well....one of the most useful.
"It's lovely....isn't it?" I'm hit with a wave of cold as he speaks, and once again I show my talent as I don't jump when he says anything. I have no idea where I got the ability to remind myself that he talks to everyone like they're a child and not to bark back at him, but I'm grateful for that one as well.
I don't answer, knowing he didn't want one. I know him well enough to be able to tell the tone of voice that he uses for a question he wants an answer to or when he's simply talking to himself. He shifts in the open doorway, pulling his loose crimson kimono up around his arms again. He never turned his head to notice I'm even here, from the time I stepped in to now - a half an hour later. There is another thing I wonder about having: the ability to sit unnoticed, quiet, and unmoving for a half an hours at a time.
Quiet settles in again, helped by the snow. I have no idea why he called me here today, I never really had an intention to going out at all in the snow. Yet I was called, and I had to ride here in the snow because it's Akito....I can't disobey Akito, no matter what. I'm strong, but not that strong.
"It's snowing late this year..." He mentions, and once again I keep quiet.
Something's up... I decide as I close my eyes and take a deep breath, letting it out quietly. Something is really wrong....
Not that things haven't been wrong for the past month. Home has been a war zone, for I can't seem to stay on my feet for more then 5 minutes at a time. I know it may seem stupid -falling out of nowhere- but I....I do trip over something, I don't just fall. It's strange, but every time I do trip I always feel very cold. And for a moment while I'm falling I always see something, images of things I can't name. There is never enough time for me to understand what they mean, or even remember what the images are before I hit the ground. Yet I know they're always the same picture, the same little movie that goes quicker and quicker until I feel the pain of the floor hitting my face.
Besides my falling, Tohru has been talking to herself more often. Hatori also told me that Haru's getting sick, Kagura is slowly killing herself, Yuki is a step or to away from being depressed enough for medication and Momiji's starting to act weird once more. The only breakthrough we have had would be Kazuma totally losing it and breaking down before Hatori, begging him to erase his memories - which in turn might not be a good thing at all if that means Kazuma hit his breaking point. My family is slowly falling apart in front of my eyes and for once I can do nothing to help any of them.
My strength is wearing thin. And now I fear that something even worse is going to happen today. I have that sinking feeling in my heart, along with chilling fear this time. The friendly presence that has been around me for the past few months abandoned me at the gate. I'm alone, weak, and scared - not a good combination if I do say so myself.
"Do you enjoy the snow, Shigure?" He asked - voice climbing an octave higher as he said my name. These questions I need to answer, it's directed to me and not the air around me.
"I do." I answer simply, my voice rough from being bottled up for so long. I had been quiet since I said my goodbyes to Hatori at the gate until now. My voice sounds so loud in the room, the walls echoing it through the wooden space. My own voice gave me the chills.
There was a beat of silence that captivated me, and I'm sure I felt the very tip of something ominous brush against my heart. My fear jumped, and I locked down on that feeling and let that fear fuel me into being able to sit still.
He let a sort sigh go before he spoke.
"As do I ....Do you think he liked the snow?" His voice was thick with something I had never heard from him: True and utter amusement tinted with black hatred.
Instantly I knew what - actually, who - he was talking about and locked my jaw tight. I re-realized at that moment what a sick person he can be at times, and that he loves to show that fact off like a badge.
"I don't think he did. Cats... don't like anything wet...right?" He turned in the doorway, face just barley visible in the tinted light the sky gave off. A slight smile was on his face, and one of his long fingers brushed his top lip. His dark eyes are still looking out the window, but his body position invites me into his one-sided conversation.
"Well he's saved the trouble of dealing with another winter, hasn't he? I can't imagine what it feels like....to hate the rain so much. Then again, I wouldn't want to imagine anything that has to do with him, for I never wanted him here in the first place." I heard a smile in his voice. I felt bile churn in my stomach, yet I bit down on the inside of my cheek and curled my hands into fists, then let them relax again.
I mentally calmed myself, and I tried to force myself to pretend I was anywhere but here. Yet I couldn't. My mind kept pulling me back to here and now, and I felt sick.
"Then I'm glad...." Akito mumbled, now nibbling on the tip of his pointer fingers nail, an eerie liquid like cold gushing out of him and slipping into the room. He gave a short, clipped chuckle and then continued in a hushed voice. "....that I got rid of him."
My heart stopped.
I swear to the Gods above me, it stopped right in my chest.
"It did cost me one, I will admit that." He continued quietly as if I wasn't there, in the same room that was suddenly off center in my eyes. My brain was having a hard time functioning, and I needed to remind myself to breath. He stopped biting the nail and pulled it out of his mouth, eyes now examining his handiwork. He then flicked the spit off the tip of it and rested his arm on his boney knee, looking out to the sky again.
"No matter. You must sacrifice one for the greater good, right? It was just a known fact that The monster would happen to die instead of my Hatori and the other two. Fate stepped in where I stepped out, thus playing the perfect role of a true God." I felt my skin crawl, and I was very surprised that I hadn't emptied my breakfast on the floor of the room. Pure will and knowledge of what would happen if I actually threw up was all that was keeping me from doing so. Shock shook my mind and my body, and yet I had the ability to sit still and do...nothing.
It was my imagination. He couldn't have said that...that's just...
"I'm very glad I got rid of that....thing...." He mumbled, a sneer covering his face and creating a gruesome and branding image.
He meant it. I could tell in the tone of his voice.
He had just admitted to killing him....
I felt all the hairs on my arms stand up as he said that, my mouth becoming instantly dry. I dared not to say anything, or to show my pure astonishment, but I tried to deny that he had said anything of the sort. I felt my brain stutter and I watched as my hand starts to shake before me. Everything else in the world stops for me as I take a second to try and reboot my mind. This couldn't be happening...
Don't fall apart I mentally soothed myself again, feeling my stomach churn once more. This place, above all, is not for the week of sprit or mind. I dare not show the sudden hatred in my face for the man who sits in my sight. I dare not to show it in my eyes either, for from past experiences I know he can see it there. No, instead I lock it up in the bottom of my heart and pretend to not have heard anything with my sensitive hearing.
I'm so cooped up in my own thought that I didn't even realize he has moved until I feel his soft hand caress my cheek, the same one he slapped a wile ago at the hospital. His grin is chilling, and it takes everything I have not to recoil at the touch. He's almost sitting on me, his legs resting on top of mine and his face inches from my own. I hold my breath automatically.
His eyes are darker then I have ever seen them, deep blue like the bottom of the ocean - almost black. The light in the room cast a shadow that makes his thin frame look a whole lot stronger then I'm capable of being. His hair -up close- is unsecured and disheveled, all of its ends uneven and split. If I hadn't known Akito my whole life, I would have said that he was very handsome in a scary sense. Now, I only know him as someone who's just scary in a sense, and never handsome.
And then that saying, the one that I loath and the one that rings in my ears days after I've heard him say in, spills from his mouth like water. His eyes are icy, and his breath cold against my face, his smile frightening. And with that small statement I know he wanted me to hear all of what he said. He wanted me to know, and it rings within that simple two word sentence that's almost deafening in the time-looked silence of the room.
"Good dog."
I feel his lips brush against my forehead, yet I keep my eyes level and dead. Slowly he puts his pointer finger to his lips that are curved in to a snarl, in a motion as to keep it a secret. He then straightens himself and walks slowly back to the open door, pulling his kimono up along the way. He slides a hand down the wood of the doorway then leans against it, eyes taking in the sight of the falling snow. His other hand grips at the kimono, clutching tightly to it like a life line.
"Go." Was the simple word the fell from his mouth and all that I needed for the feeling of wanting to get out of this place as quickly as possible hit me. I pulled myself to my feet and somehow managed to walk to the door calmly, turn back to him and bow, then open the door and slide it closed behind me.
The moment I'm in that hallway, I feel myself start to shake. I feel my stomach start to turn again and in a split second I'm at the other end of the hall way and I fling the door open. A quick left and another long hallway takes me to another door and past Hatori, who is now hot on my heels as I yank the last door that stands between me and the outside world open so hard that I believe it broke. I run full force out of the doorway and smack into he banister that wraps around the outside porch, leaning over it instantly as I deposit my breakfast onto the snow covered ground.
I faintly hear Hatori say something as I continue to empty the contents of my stomach onto the ground. I feel his hand on my back rubbing soothingly, yet it's only barley noted by my senses. I can't feel my hands or my feet, the cold numbing everything and for once I'm very glad I can block it all out. Feelings churn and tangle in my heart and I believe I'm screaming in my own mind and I feel a small sob force it's way thought the rest of the guck trying to get out of me as fast as it can.
I stay bent over the railing for a moment or two to calm myself down. My eyes are dripping now and I feel like I'm a mess of disgusting vomit and betraying tears. My breathing is choppy and shallow and I'm shaking, my skin now an ashen gray of sickness and horror.
That had to be the most degrading, ugliest, and horrifying peace of information that I ever walked out of that cursed room with.
Before another wave of disgust washes over me I clamp down on it and put it away in the bottomless pit of my heart. I let myself feel the cold of the snow, forcing away all other feelings that I could. As my senses come back I feel someone's arms wrapped around my waist along with a hand that slowly rubs my back in a soothing clockwise movement. There's a small hand wrapped around my larger shaking one that I let grip the banister before, and something gently wipes the tears that a falling from my eyes.
"Shhh....It's all right Shigure. Everything gonna be okay...." I hear Ayame's voice say soothingly as the arms around my waist tighten. I take in a few shaken breaths before my tears stop altogether. The person who was wiping my eyes whips around my quivering mouth before the hand fades away. I take in another breath before I straighten myself, the small hand that was over mine falling off. The hand that was circling my back settles itself in the middle of my shoulder blades as those arms around my waist fall away also.
"What happened?" Hari's ruffled voice makes me smile and I comb a shaken hand through my tossed hair and open my eyes that I didn't even realized I had closed. Haru's sitting on the banister to my right side, a wet handkerchief in his hand and a somewhat worried look on his flushed face. All of his hair is pulled back as far as he could get it today, wrapped by a rubber band into a ponytail. Kisa was on my other side, hands clasped together in front of her chest, eyes wide with worry. Ayame's long snow white hair flutters into view with the whisk of the wind, and I see a flutter of long gray hair on the other side and the gray fire burnt color of Kazuma's outer kimono is barley visible. Hari's hand still doesn't move from its perch on my back.
I'm safe. Right here and now I'm as safe as I will ever be, and I'm needed as well. I feel my strength rushing back into my quivering and suddenly exhausted body, and I take a deep breath.
"....Nothing." I say slowly, my voice clogged and grimy. I feel so dirty now, so unclean and unworthy. I need time to think, and no better time then later to do that thinking. Right now I needed a cigarette...
"But-" Haru started but cut himself off as I saw Kazumas hand wave at him. I cleaned the corners of my mouth myself with my own sleeve - knowing fully well that I'm not going to feel clean for a long time no matter what I do- and turn around to face Hatori.
His arms are crossed over his chest, dark bangs covered in snowflakes. His eyes are stormy and worried but as soon as our eyes connect he instantly knows I'm not going to say anything about what happened in there. I never tell anyone what Akito says to me unless he tells me to say something to someone else. Slowly he sticks his hand into the front pocket of his shirt and pulls out a box of cigarettes -that I know he always has on him- and pulls one out, handing it to me. I take it calmly with shaking hands and place it on my lips, and it's lighted instantly.
Thank anything for cigarettes right now. It I'll kill me in the end, but I'm living now and that's all that matters….
That's all that matters….
There is a moment of silence between all 6 of us, and then Kisa slips up again my side and wraps her arms around my waist. I hear Haru sigh as he jumps off the other side of the railing and misses my mess by a foot or two, and follows his own footsteps back from wherever he came.
"Are you going to be all right?" Ayame asks, golden eyes more relaxed. I sigh against my will and answer.
"No, but I will be later...." I say truthfully, then I give Kazuma a thankful look and he just gives me a slight grin in response.
"....can I get a ride home?" I ask Hatori, knowing fully well how old I sounded at that moment – about 12 or so. Frankly I don't care; I just want to go home - somewhere far away from here. I want to burn my skin in the shower, then take a long nap, and then think. I'll think when I feel clean....
He turns back into the hallway I burst out of before, grabbing our jackets and my shoes. "I'll be back later." He says over his shoulder as I slip the shoes over my wet white socks and pull my jacked on, taking another drag of my cigarette. I give my other two old friends and smaller cousin a slight smile and a wave at their worried faces, then turn and follow Hatori out of the Sohma compound and to his car.
They know I'm not gonna be all right, they know me well enough. I have never, in all the years I have been Akito's lap Dog - ignore the badly placed but true pun- reacted to a meeting with him so strongly like I did today. Right now I don't even know what's going on inside my head, I'm completely numb to my thoughts and my feelings and flowing on true autopilot now.
I have a feeling all of my blind fate and devotion are staring me down the wrong path at the moment, and that those feelings are going to drive me insane.
But...had I really just listened to all of that? If so, reality would be falling on its head, which is pretty much what has happened in the past few minuets. But could it be logical to think that...that anything - anyone would do such a thing.
Did Akito really just admit that he killed him?
I'm suddenly hit with another strong craving: for brandy, tequila, or vodka. It all depends on who is home when I get there, and what we have, in that order.
I'm going to need a LOT of time to think....
~*~
He sighed, letting out a long stream of smoke that formed circles around the open room. I watched it as the cold air from the wind pull out the smoke from the room and replace it with cold air. I watched it flow into the crystal blue sky. He blew his shaggy black hair out of his eyes and leaned back against the wall of the house, and I sighed again and leaned against the pole next to me.
Tohru and that rat were off at school, a place I really didn't want to be anymore. I've take all the Tear-ing energy I could from that place and the only thing I can feed off from there is Tohru herself. So far I've taken noting from her...
"Ne K-yo, you haven't visited Kazu-sama yet."
I sighed and gave my other invisibles bystander a look, and sighed again. He just keeps popping up.
He shifted up next to me, black never-ending eyes soaking up the sunlight. A grin was laced on his face, crinkling the corners of his odd eyes. I snorted and the comment and turned toward the dog. Shigure exhaled another thick line of smoke and I stretched my hand out toward it, yet the smoke passed right through me.
"You should know better." He spoke, his light tenor out of place at this house. "You can't interact with those who do-"
"-'don't believe'. I know, I know for cryin' out loud!" I whipped around to face him, a glare that I normally save for that damn Yuki aimed at him. "Ya don't gotta keep reminding me!"
He frowned, one eyebrow rising. He crossed his arms, his white semi-long short sleeved shirt reaching his elbows. Pure white was the only think he ever had on, and it made my eyes hurt every time.
"You don't have to yell, I'm only hear to help-"
"-Some freken' help." I cut in, my eye twitching ever so slightly. He huffed out his next breath, a frown wrinkling his nose.
"Listen Kyo, " He said, voice dropping into a more serous tone. He face became grave suddenly, and I felt as if I was about to be yelled at. "I know it's hard now, but we have passed the hard part. I know it may seem like there is a long rode in front of you, but depending on which way your turn it's either gonna be an even longer one or you'll come to a dead stop quickly."
I sighed and pushed myself off the porch and up to the roof, stepping onto it with no sound at all. My bare feed didn't even touch the snow, the cold didn't radiate onto my feet. There was a throbbing in my heart, but I pushed it away again and looked toward my field.
"It's dead." His mellow voice was almost as light as the wind. I really didn't want him here, I never wanted him here, and I didn't need him.
"Wanna bet? You need me more then you think." I watched as a feather fell from the sky and landed on the snow before my foot. I sighed again - despite my best intention- and blinked at the vast field of endless white that stretched into the Sohma property behind the house. I hated the snow, almost as much as I hated the rain. It made me feel so...dirty. I have always felt dirty when in snowed, cause you remember that anything born is as white as the snow that falls. To think that anyone would turn a different shade of white is slightly disheartening.
Geez, I'm gettin sentimental...
....but....I'm starting to feel the same why I did before that damn rat's accident. God only knows what that meant for the rest of my family.
" Kyo, everything should work out alright." Wind brushed passed my ears and he shot toward the end of the roof, a pair of white angel wings sticking out from his back. He turned to me - hovering feet away - bright orange hair out of place against so much white. A grin was on his face, his sole-eating black eyes kinder with the bright light of the sun directly on them.
"After all, I wished to live again as well - a request that was...." He shifted his sights to the sky and away from me for a moment, tucking his leg underneath him much like the way I did. His smile was now more...wishful then before. "....denied for obvious reasons before. Yet 100 years later you happen to come along and get my wish, like so many before you. You seem to be the only candidate so far to be able to get this far ahead of the game."
I huffed at him, eyes narrowing once again.
"I don't wanna have another one of theses stupid conversations!" I let my voice rise slightly, laced with my anger that was bottle up inside. All my frustration was turning into anger and my morbid fear of...other things fueling the fire of anger. I was about to let myself continue to vent but something stopped me. It might have been the sudden awareness of what he told me, but I'm not sure that's all. I watched his eyes lighten in shades, blackness echoing away to form a light violet color that mine tended to turn when I…lost something. I wasn't as surprised as I was the first time I met him....
....Him being Sohma Kyosetsu, the 100%, no-doubt-about-it, authentic, first and true Jyuunishi Cat.
He is the first version of me, and the reason I take on....my other form.
He is that part of me, the part that turns me into a monster, the part I understand the least but the most at the same time.
I hate him, but I need him as much as I hate him. He's the only other person that knows what I'm like...inside. What goes through my head at times when know one else knows.
He's also the reason I'm here now. His wish to be reborn - the one he made 100 years ago - is the one I'm using right now.
"'Bring tears to me, I'll wake again. Bring joys to me, my heart shall beat. Bring happiness, bring circumstance, bring love, bring you, and all shall be forgiven. Take thin wish and do depart, for there's much to be done. For once the sun rises in the east twice years later...Thy sole shall forever be mine'….It's my prophecy ya know. I hold true to it, always have and always will. " He turned away, sun wavering the white feathers on his wings and his robes. His smile was sincere as it could be, and my troubled mind wondered once again why he was first cursed - why any of us were cursed- with being that cat. He held up two fingers at me, a grin coming to his face and the international peace sing was flashed.
"To tell ya the truth, I'm impressed with you K-yo. You did in three months what those before you couldn't do in two years. Now keep it up. I want to get one of you back down there - alive an kicking again- before your time is up. You got enough tears to last you for as long." He continued, placing both of his hands behind his head with his elbows up high. So that's what it looked like from the other side...
"And frankly-" He continued a true smile now on his face. "- I don't really want your soul. I think I've had my fill...for now at least."
"I don't want to give ya my freken' soul" I spat out, wrinkling my own nose. "I'm not gonna-!"
"-then visit Kazuma!" Kyosetsu interjected, waving his arms around like a smaller child with a grin still on his face. "Then get Ru-chan to start working the magical voodoo that she has over this family so they all finally smack they're heads on the wall and come to grips that you're dead and get over it."
"Shut up!" I growled, eyes narrowing. He makes me so frustrated!! "What do you know! I can't push Tohru to do anything for me! She's already in enough trouble because of me and I can't make her do anything else...I can't..." I had lost my flame. I was tired of this conversation - this argument. It hadn't been the first time he frustrated me beyond rational thought, until I wanted to rip my own head off.
Tohru was my only reason now, as sick and as sad as that sounds, for even being here any more. At least Kyosetsu confirms that for me, telling me time and time again that she's my anchor to this world and the only reason I really am here. Her tears on the one's that opened the gate for my soul to come back, as weird and mystical as that sounds.
Placing my only hope on her as well doesn't seem fair. I've caused her so much grief, so much pain.
I hated myself for it.
I hated myself, I hated him, I hated everyone but her...I could never hate her.
God... I really am that sad, aren't I?
Geez...
"Keep safe, K-yo." Kyosetsu says, still grinning. He extended his white angel wings so they were the same length as the house. I knew he was leaving, and suddenly I didn't want to be left alone. I wanted him to stay here until Tohru got home.
I don't want to be alone.
"Keep watch over Gure-sama, and give Kazu-San a visit later. You'll be surprised at what you find."
Before I manage to catch his eyes with my surprised ones, there was a gust of wind and flashes of silver-white. And then he was gone, another lone feather falling to the ground a few feet from me.
He's such a sadist, I swear, I can tell he enjoys this stupid game. He knows that I can't get to Kazuma's without anyone who hasn't gone through Tear-ing, and the only persons who could take me to the compound that have would be Tohru, or Haru - and I can't ask either. I'm not risking fading into nothing on my way there thankyouverymuch.
I sighed and 'sat' on the roof, my face directed at my dead, snow covered field. I would give anything to be able to see it with my real eyes again, to be able to feel the grass move against my legs and I trained, to train at all.
If I could just get this whole 'get you soul back' process over with already, everything would be honky-dory...
H…honky-dory?!...I can't believe I just thought that. I'm spending too much time with Tohru...not that that's a bad thing of course. Cause it's not...not in a sick way I mean-OH never mind!!!
I grinned at my field. I may be pathetic and dead, but I swear on my name that I will be alive again once this is done and over with. I'm strong enough-...we're strong thought to get thought this, even that rat-fink.
And maybe for once I'll trust that girly-boy. I know together - all of us- somehow and some way we can do this...
I hope I'm not overestimating everyone. It would suck if I was…
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Ranting: Sorry that took so long... I just couldn't pull myself together to write this. It's getting a lot harder as I go along. Is that because the story is getting more and more twisted and interesting? Or am I become lazy?...eeh! Which ever it is it doesn't matter. I'm getting the story out and that's that.
Tech started up again, so that's my excuse for slow writing for a little. And after tech I have to worry about TG Banquet, then finals...Oy...thank God for vacation. I'm also trying to cope with writing another story on the side...in fact I have 2 other-not 3 others story's to battle with.
BTW: Does anyone here know a place where a newbe writer for GW/AC 2x1x2 can put her stuff up? I'm writing something and I need to find a place to post it, but everywhere says they need a website to link it to or something like that. If anyone does, contact me at DragonQueen222@aol.com. You would be my hero/heroine.
Anyway, onto this fic....
Well?!?! How was that for lovey-dove family things? And can you tell I like/don't like Akito? He's the perfect evil character and I'll tell you why. You can tell he's hiding things but he's oh strong mentally for you to be able to challenge and question him. Right? And one of my OC characters has a name! Meet Kyosetsu, or 'that-other-orange-haired-guy-that-knows-dead-Kyo'! What do ya think of him now? Any thoughts...come on, fire away!
Any questions you have don't be afraid to ask. I answer some in this chapter...one especially that gave me the beginning. Give me ideas on what you would like to happen, what you will think happen, and what you would hate to happen in the end. The ending of this story is still undecided, and I'm leaving it up to you to guide me for that. Lucky readers, getting to control a story...I wish I could control it...geez.
Favorite Line: "I'm suddenly hit with another strong craving: for brandy, tequila, or vodka." -Shigure
Favorite Character: Shigure. Shigure, Shigure, Shigure!! I admire the dog so much! He has so much hidden strength in the anime and I love that about him. He can control himself so well...I'm so proud of him in this story. Though it's slim picking's, how bout you?
*A question I would like answered: Do you like the OC character? Just give me a yes or no, pretty please with sugar on top.
Date Finished: March 24th, 2004. 8:33 pm
Moving along...
*Misaki: ~Bows~ Thank you, thank you. I know it was a bit hard to understand the transition between people, but I molded it like that. I made it so you had to think about who the person was. The laptop thing is finished, and over with. But I'm getting a new keyboard this week so it will be out again for a few days. Gomen about that, but I will be writing on the other comp until I get it back. Sorry that this wasn't as long, but I believe there is a lot to soak up and understand totally. Yet I already know this chapter isn't that clear, and things are left unanswered but that's part of the plot. Thanks again.
*Enjen: So you have been reading along have you? Well thank you very much. Yours were the questions I answered, and the reason he doesn't visit Kazuma was vaguely outlined but that will be known later on. Kyo will talk about something called 'Tear-ing' and that's when you want to listen to find that answer later on. I think I will answer the other question in more depth when 'Tear-ing' comes up, so come back and read for it! Thanks!!
*dalpin crage: I'm a big supernatural fan. Angels, Magic, Rebirth, people changing into animals....the whole nine yards- as you can see. I love Kyo too, and thank you for the review.
*Kath:Ya know what...I agree. I think it's because I lost my laptop for a wile and I lost my train of thought then had to go back and be able to fit into it again. And I think the story's getting slow too, well not now but in the other chapter...~Smiles~ thank you, I though they would be cool. It's new, and he has (will have) more btw. Kagura ...Aah, Kagura. She's going to be and interesting one, for she holds a key [not saying anymore]. ~Grins evilly~ that's what Shigure did. Are my POV changes that hard? Really? Well I'll se what I can do about them, but I'm not to sure if I can do anything. More is on the way, I can tell you that.
*HanaTenshiHimeko: LOLO! Glad you guy's like the magic thing. I'm trying! I'm so sorry about the by the way. I'm just so busy with school, and friends, and side jobs I have been given. I'll try to get them up faster. Many thanks and welcome!
*Kaze no Iisuto: Thank you for the heart felt review. I love hearing that my writings make other happy. I'm trying the best I can to keep them as FruBa like as I can. It's getting hard though. ~Smiles~ don't we all? Thanks!!
*Yamatoforever: Answered you first question in the beginning. I also answered you your 'Why didn't he visit Kazuma?' question too. Kyo has tried to visit him, trust me on this [I'll tell ya later. That comes up again.] but he couldn't. That another thing to do with the concept of 'Tear-ing' Which will be explained later! No worries! Just wait to find out what I'm talking bout. There's also an answer to the last question as well, but you also need to wait for that too...sorry. Thanks for the review and I'll talky to you next time!!
Oh, sorry guy's but ya might want to know why the formats gonna be different on the next chapter. The next chapter is called *Mini Story: Shigure. The Mini Story series takes place within the story, just I can't write two things happening at once. The mini Story's are a one person POV [Shigure's, Momiji's, Kagura's, Kyo's, etc.] and will most likely be either aghast, develop the plot further, add vital information to the readers, or the character in question will have a sudden understanding of some situations.
Don't worry, long chapters are coming your way. 10 is going to be quite long, and then a few down the road. 11 and 12 are going to be split up because putting that one idea in a single chapter would be toooo long and take too much time. I think 15 and 16 will be long, and I haven't planned any other chapters out after 19. So help me in guiding the story. Please and thank you!
Sorry once again, but there wont be a bonus for the mini [that wont be so mini] chapter...gomen!!
By the way, I don't own FruBa. This plot and original characters are mine, but not Fruba itself. Any twisted, enhanced psychotic tendency, morbid reactions, deep and well deserved brooding and/or beating ones self up that happen to appear in the story are mine and I stake fill clams with some help. Please review, and any flame will be laughed if not ignored. Please, have a nice day!
Ja till next time!
~SAL-Chan