For years upon years I have watched as countless souls of my descendants die and then attempt to recreate their body. For years upon years I have had to endure watching those who know everything I have been through go through even more pain and suffering because of me. For years upon years no single soul was able to begin the Tear-ing process - the first step in their new life. After a while I had lost all hope in my former family and I slowly started to believe that I would be stuck having to watch them die over and over and over again.
He died like all the others who had a chance of a new life. His life was ripped from him at the time I thought was right, and he was asked the question. Like so many before him he said yes right away, and became an outline of what he once was. A ghost of a life that was miserable and only promised an ending in a cage.
And for the longest time I thought that he was going to end up exactly like all the others - locked up away in my heart and bound to my soul. He was drifting through them all, slowly fading from sight. I felt his essence entangling with mine, I felt the weight of the curse press on me further.
That was my divine punishment. Living through this every day, every year, ever decade, every century...
Then suddenly, the process had begun.
The Cow had cried for him, and a connection had been made. His energy was slowly taken away from me, and then another cried tears of acceptance and she too, could see him. What surprised me the most was that she wasn't even a Sohma, but a friend of the only one who had been able to break into the Sohma's hearts since I was alive. The Dragon-doctor was next, alone and cold on his porch as the Monkey gave in and wept for his distant cousin as well.
The one year mark came too soon, and at once that girl - Honda Tohru- cried for him. That day his energy was totally pulled from my grasp, and he was connected to them. Then his 'father' cried for him as well, and he had another reason to go on - to be alive again.
Never in all my years of watching my family had anyone ever gone as far as he has. I never thought that so many people would care enough about The Cat to accept him in ways that no one else would.
But they cared for him. They loved him more then they would say, and it showed. And now, today I watched the Dog let go and realized as well. That was seven people, but for the boy only four of them counted toward his new life. Yet somehow I knew that more would follow, that others would cry tears for him as well.
This group was different. They were all - in someway- different then the others that had rotated before them.
But in the end I knew he would end up like the rest if he didn't first get the evil one to cry for him. Though almost impossible, I knew it would happen. Maybe I am being to optimistic - something that is not normally in my vocabulary- or maybe I'm hoping too much.
I wish so much for this to be over. I wish so much to find an end to the suffering - the loneliness that I have to live in.
It's not even my fault!!
But...but...I'm not giving up. I believe in this one. This time...maybe... this curse will break, and I will be free.
God would I love to be free...
Strange Happening's
By SAL-Chan
Part Ten: Waking Up
(AN: Sorry, but watch out for falling memory's. It's a little later on but I though I should warn you...And new POV changed! I'll make it easer for you guy's...)
"A smile is a curve that can straighten out a lot of things."
Tohru
I felt a shiver race up my spine as the cold nipped at my nose, and I wrapped my jacked tighter around me. The night had fallen quicker than I though it would, and the darkness had made my trip home colder then it would have been. Snow lay lightly around me as I made footprints through the untouched parts of it. The path was white and brown, the dark blue night sky wrapping its way around the abandoned branches of the trees. It was quiet but nice, a sort of lulling and alluring echo that the nigh sky let out seemed to sweep me off my feet and let me float among the "What if...?'s" that hung about my mind.
Like what if I had asked Yuki to go along with Hatori instead? Would he have died? Or what if Momiji, or Hatori, or Kisa had died instead of Kyo? Would something like what was happening to Kyo happen to them too? What if it was me instead? What if...
I sighed and pulled my coat around me. It wasn't worth thinking about the "What if...?'s" - I should just wait to see where this everything was going. I know whatever life has in front of me will come, and I'll do my best with what I can do. I can't control or change what happened - I know I can't ignore it either, and I'm not- but I can help guide the future. As Shigure says some times, "Que sera sera..."
I broke into the clearing of the house not a moment later and smiled, happy to be home. But thinking about Shigure, I am still worried about him. After what happened yesterday and how he looked when he came home from the main house. I hope he is still sleeping. Hatori told me to make sure he rests and relaxes today, and he did look a little sick.
Maybe I'll make him some soup for dinner tonight. I was going to make-
Laughter broke through the houses clearing, and I stopped in mid-step and looked toward the house. Does Shigure have someone over? He would have told me if they were going to be here so late, right?
I hurried a little quicker to the door and unlocked it, hurrying inside to the warmth. I shivered as I took my snow boots off and put them next to the door. Then I hung my jacked up, scooped my book bag up and stepped into the main hallway. Light conversation was coming from the back porch where I normally found Shigure after I came home from school. Hatori must be here...
"I'm home!" I shouted lightly, placing my bag in the dining room and checking the clock. It's 5, and I'm off tonight so no work. Yuki said he would be staying late tonight, so maybe I can offer Hatori Yuki's dinner - if he's not home in time that is. Oh...I might need to make two extra plates tonight if Hatori is here and if Haru gives Yuki a ride home...
"Welcome home Tohru!" Shigure's tenor echoed back through the house from the porch, his voice lined with a smile. I smiled too as I stepped into the kitchen, picking my yellow apron off the hook and putting it on.
"Welcome home..." Kyo's voice sounded different today, more...Kyo-like, if that's possible. I looked toward the porch through the dinning room, raising a eyebrow. If I didn't know better I would think that Shigure was sitting outside with-
"Flip the page already." Kyo's aggravated voice filtered through the screen's of the porch door, and I blinked. I heard the sound of paper moving and then a snort, and I furrowed my eyebrows. A moment later I relaxed and brushed it off. Shigure doesn't kn-
"Hey! Damn, I was reading that!" Kyo shouted again as I heard another page flip. I smiled and shook my head. Uwa...it's a...-Wishful thinking, right Mom?! Yea, It can't-
"Then read faster next time." That smart remark came from the Dog, and I almost dropped the plate I had taken from the cabinet. Clutching the plate - that happened to be my favorite yellow one- I stared at the porch doors. My thoughts were flying a mile a minuet, and weren't stopping. I was imagining that, right? I had to have. Shigure can't see K-
"Shut up an' turn it back. I wanna finish!" The ghost Cat shot back, a type of aggravation that only one person could cause bubbling in his voice. Were they...were they bickering?!
"Well wait till I'm finished, and then I'll give it to you..." Shigure retorted, a smile laced in his voice.
"...Very funny. Ha ha, lets make fun of the dead Cat. Shut up and turn the page back!" His voice sounded very thin and aggravated, and I swear I could see Kyo in my mind getting ready to hit Shigure like he did so many time before. Slowly, as I clutched my favorite yellow plate, I advanced toward the dinning room with tears pooling at just the tips of my eyes.
"...Make me..." I couldn't believe it. I wanted to so bad but I couldn't. I needed to see it to believe it fully. I stepped into the dinning room and headed toward the porch door, placing my plate down on the dinning table. In a quick movement, I pulled the porch door open and stepped back out into the cold. My hair that was tied up in a pony tail wiped behind me along with my apron as I stepped out into the wind again, eyes immediately finding the pair of them.
Shigure sat in one of his winter writers robes that was the same color as his hair, crisp black compared to the snow around us. He sat cross legged near the edge of the porch, the paper in his hands open to some unknown section. His thin wire framed glasses sat on the bridge of his nose, a pencil sat behind his left ear and a cigarette hung limply lit in his mouth. The smoke from the cigarette floated up toward where Kyo sat hovering behind him, legs crossed in his normal way- his right knee in Shigure's back. Kyo's hair stood out compared to the black of Shigure's robe and the white of the snow, and his skin seemed to stand out much more against the pale snow. He was still very pale mind you, yet the tan-ish color he once had was returning slowly. His black shirt was still completely ripped on the right side, his feet were still bare, and his tan cargo pants were still ripped along the side and over the knees.
The moment I stepped out onto the porch, they both turned to look at me. Shigure blinked and then smiled at me- one of his smiles that clearly says 'I'm not hiding anything!'.
"Hello Tohru. Starting dinner are we?" He said calmly, shutting the paper that Kyo had turned his attention back to. The orange haired Sohma flushed slightly and shoved his hand through Shigure head.
"Stupid Dog, now I lost my damn place!" And to my amazement, as he said this Shigure turned around and looked at Kyo, then smiled another one of his smiles.
"You'll find your place again." The Dog beamed at Kyo then turned back to me, taking his glasses off his nose and pushing them up on top of his head- messing his hair in the process. His kind brown eyes smiled at me - a real smile- and I felt the tears on the corners of my eyes well more.
"Hay Tohru..." He started with a smile, ignoring the fact that Kyo was seeming to makes himself look busy by trying to see how far his foot could go into Shigure's back. "A little kitty told me that you have been keeping a secret..."
"Don't call me Kitty!!" Kyo barked, enforcing each word by kicking through Shigure with his foot. Shigure just chuckled slightly and took the cigarette from his mouth and flicked it into the snow. Slowly I felt a smile envelop my face as a single tear fell from my eye. Shigure could see him...Shigure talked to him.
"Now look what you did Kyo-kun. You made Tohru cry..." Shigure shot at Kyo, drawing out his name. I watched as Kyo started steaming, fists balled up and back straight.
"I didn't make her cry! It's your fault, ya dumb Dog!"
"I did nothing of the sort. Now it's not my fault that you still stumble on your words, Kyo. Don't blame others for things that you do..."
"Stum-stumble?! I don't stumble! I didn't even say anything to her!"
"There you go! You just admitted it. You didn't say anything to her..."
"-But!...I-I didn't...and...Aah! Shigure!"
I felt a true smile captivate my entire face, I felt my whole being light up with it. I felt my heart flip in my chest and it felt like a large amount of the weight I had been carrying was lifted from my shoulders and I could breath free again.
We just got one step closer to becoming a family again. With me, Kyo, Shigure, and Yu...ki...
...o no...Yuki...
We are still that far away...
Yuki
"-and so it's decided. The prom will be healed in the gym because we are that cheep-"
"-now Sohma-kun, I didn't exactly say we were cheep but-"
"-and tickets will be $140 for couples, and $175 for singles...Tell me again why it's so expensive for singles, please..."
"Well...Um...I'm not really the one who-"
"-Very well. Switch the prices: $140 singles, $175 for couples. The decorations are being covered, right?-"
"-Where getting everything together Sohma-kun. All we need is to start the fund raising and-"
-"When are you going to start that?"
"...um, we were thinking Wednesday-"
"-To far away. Try Monday, even if you have to organize over the weekend. Are pictures taken care of yet?"
"Yes Sohma-kun! Kare-Ona Camera's said they were going to cover it for us. I'm going tomorrow to put the payment down-"
"-Well why not go tonight and get it over with. Moving on, we have a DJ of some sort, right?"
"....N-not yet Sohma-kun. Seita was going to work on that but-"
"-No buts, just get it done. Now, if there's noting else the council meeting is adjourned."
"But Sohma-kun! I have-"
"-See you all next week." I slid the door shut behind me, quite surprised at myself for even being able to stand up with the headache I had. It felt like my temples were imploding. Stress was creating knots in my shoulders and back and I'm sure if I had stayed in that room a moment longer - of if I heard another 'Sohma-Kun!' come from any one of them- I swear to God I would have flipped out on them.
Stressed?: Yeah . Aggravated?: Quite. ...Pissed?: You bet.
I made my way down the hall at a slightly brisk pace despite the fact that I now had four legs, two of whch were made of wood and another totally useless. My new school bag- one Tohru hand made for me and my stupid leg- was looped over my shoulder and sitting at my side, it contents overflowing with things concerning the prom, the talent show, and the spring play. My math and science book were packed in there also, along with my Social Studies notes that I knew Tohru hadn't bought home with her.
I reached the stairs quicker then I should be able too, and just stopped. I glared down the set of equally placed steps and once again cursed whom ever had been driving that car that day. I managed to swing my way over to the wall and gathered my crutched in one hand - my good left hand but my bad left leg- and somehow managed to craw my way down the steps one at a time. Once I reached the landing I whipped the sweat that had managed to accumulate on my bow off with my shirt sleeve. I turned the corner and found another set of stairs - 12 even sets of steps.
Who would have thought, I incoherently mumbled to myself in my head, that I would have to work to get down stairs. This is unbelievable...
"Having a problem?" A voice said from the bottom of the stairs, and I immediately snapped back.
"Shut up, you stupid cat. You've never broken your leg - God hopes you break both at the same time- so shut up and back off."
"...Yuki?" I blinked and stopped in my struggling against gravity and my leg and looked toward him, blinking once at the speaker.
Hatsuharu stood at the bottom of the stairs dressed in a gray sweatshirt that seemed to be a size too big for him. Long, tight black pants covered his legs and black working boots rode up to about his mid shin. The white part of his hair hung about his eyes that were so brown they seemed black, and today he must have decided to dye just the tips of his white bangs black as well. The black back end of his hair was tied down low on his head and braided down to the middle of his shoulders were it was tied off and continued for another few inches. His skin [just the simple parts that I could see] compare to the black and gray was paler then he had ever been, his cheeks tinted red and eyes fever bright. One of his hands was stuck in a pocked while the others arm was draped around a black motorcycle helmet, and both of his hands were gloved - each glove had it's fingers cut off by the knuckle.
Instead of his normal placid face, one of his priced eyebrows were drawn up in question and his mouth was open slightly. I blinked at him while trying to bottle up my irritation and not let it spill onto Haru and politely answered back, though it was clipped and laced with annoyance, "What?"
Haru did nothing for a minuet, just stared up at me. And I did nothing for a minuet, staring back down at him -confused and aggravated. And suddenly he dropped his helmet with a snap of plastic hitting the floor- a noise to which I winched- and walked up the few steps I had till I got to the bottom. He stood next to me - now no emotion on his face - and wrapped his arm around my waist, shifting my weight onto to him and off of the wall. While it was much easer going down the stairs this way, my annoyance hadn't faded one bit. We reached the bottom in a moment or two and Haru released me and grabbed his helmet off the floor.
Yet before I could set myself up for walking he grabbed on to me again the same way. I turned my head slightly to look at him and opened my mouth to say something, but shut it the moment I made eye contact.
Haru was angry. I would eyen go as far as saying he was in the transition between his black and white persona. His eyes were deadly angry and dark, a swirl of emotion looming behind a steadily breaking calm cover. I shut my mouth right away and schooled my features, then let him walk me out the doors of the school.
Darkness was descending on the world outside, dark oranges and blues lining the earth from the sky. Stars sparkled in the deeper blue portion of it all, and as we stepped into the parking lot the lamps on the streets had just come on. And all the while - on the trip from the stairs to the parking lot- neither of us had said a word. I kept shifting my gaze from my own feet to Haru's face, looking for a change in his expression that would give some explanation for his covered anger.
"Stressful day, huh?" Haru mumbled whit his face set forward and eyes cloudy. I knew that wasn't the question he wanted to ask me, or anything he wanted to address, but he said it anyway. I thought if I should just carry on with this conversation that he picked for the moment, or if I should call him on the real reason he looked so pissed.
"No..." I said quietly with a wince, knowing fully well that I should just ask what was wrong. "Just long..."
"You were ruthless with the others." He commented and stopped a moment to gather me on his arm and shoulder again, then continuing on his way. "And you sounded angry on the steps."
The steps?...what does that have anything to do with-
"It's complicated getting down them." I defended myself, looking down at the offending leg. Shigure was written on the front of it in big black letters, and Tohru was written nicely on my foot. My brothers name was scrawled on the side, along with Momiji, Haru, and Kisa's name. The blue was slowly become the most annoying color blue that I have had the displeasure of having attached to my body, and it was itchy. Thank God that it was getting taken off some time next week...at least that's what Hatori said...
"Was it that demanding of your concentration?" I felt the change of tone in his body, the way his shoulders bunched up and his stride became aggressive. His voice had changed in color, almost completely elapsing into 'Black'. I hesitated a moment, then - even though he was my only ride home and the only other person in the parking lot - I took the bait.
"What do you mean?" I felt him tense and stop a few steps away from his ride. I stopped as well and looked at him, noting that his face had become plane and placid, but his eyes sparked with a dark and deadly light.
"...you don't know yet, do you?" He asked, eyes looking toward nothing in the sky. I raised a eyebrow in confusion.
"Know what?" It sounded almost bitter, like I had spat it him. He knew something that I didn't - that he wouldn't tell me- and by the way he said it it seemed like there was more then one person in on it. It hurt for some reason, a part of me that hadn't felt in a long time - and I felt that feeling mask my face from emotion without my thought.
He turned to me then, having to look up slightly in order to meet my gaze with his. He eyes were dangerously black and dark, and it seemed he was doing the same thing I was.
"...I'm not Kyo." He said sharply in the same tone I had used, and confusion erupted in my chest and head. My heart beat faltered and thumbed in my temples as anger suddenly coursed through my veins. No one - No one- had said his name around me for...for a long time, and to say it to so bluntly and 'matter of fact-ly' as to question my intelligence.
I pushed myself away from him, my face obscured in a tangle of emotions- confusion, hurt, and anger. I leveled myself on my foot and glared at him full force.
"I know that! Why would you even say that?!" It was strange to hear myself shout, but I had lost control. For some reason - though it rarely ever happened unless I'm talking with Shigure- every time this... topic comes up I loose myself. Haru hadn't moved - just let his hand slowly fall to his side- keeping his head forward and held high.
"...Kyo's dead, Yuki. I'm not Kyo. If you knew that, you wouldn't have called me stupid cat..." His voice had risen along with mine, his hand clenching into a fist. For some reason his voice was barley audible over the pounding of my heart beet in my head. Sweat had broken across my back and chilled me, my palms sweaty. I could find no response, no action I could take to counter his statement at all. For a moment I was confused but-
"Shut up, you stupid cat. You've never broken your leg..." My own voice echoed in my head. God... I had said that? How...was I that...
I stopped my train of thought instantly, locking it up again. I refused to think about it, to let myself get this worked up about nothing. It didn't matter...and it never would...
I calmed myself as much as I could and stood straight, leaning on the crutches I had in my hand. I schooled my features back down to a normal calm and let the dusk air slowly move my hair from my face. Haru still stood his own ground, unmoving and unblinking - face still flushed with a fever and fist still clenched. Then slowly he turned to look at me with his face placid, then shook his head a looked away. In a few steps he was standing next to his black and white dirt bike - the only form of quick transportation the younger Sohma's without a license had. I knew the bike had been painted the with one other color to change if from it's original solid black, and I also knew who the bike was really for. In fact, Hatsuharu hadn't painted over the logo that Shigure had gotten paint brushed across the back fender for said 'other person'. I couldn't stand looking at that bike...
He swung a leg over it and reached into a pocket somewhere, drawing out the key. He started the ignition and revved it a few time, then turned to me and extended the helmet toward me.
"Get on." He said it simply, but he sounded very tired now. Yet still, his eyes held no room for discussion about the ride I was going to have or the helmet I would have to wear. I sighed and moved over to the bike, managing with some help to get settled on the seat with my leg and secured the black helmet over my head - flipping the tinted visor down as well. Haru leaned the bike over and kicked the stand up then revved the engine once and slowly let the break go. I settle my crutches on my side and picked my feet up along with one of his, settling them on my own pair of strips in the back. Haru looked sideways and flipped a switch then revved again, this time the bike pulled forward and in a fluid movement as it turned he pulled his foot up and settled in it's place.
We all but crawled to the gate that opened up to the road and stopped for a moment as he looked for cars. I felt a chuckle run through him as he turned his head slightly to look back at me. There was a gleam in his eye that they never seemed to have and a smile on his face - as if our argument, or rather out exchange of words had never happened.
"Hold on." Was all he said this time - giving me a moment to grab onto him with my free hand before he pushed the throttle all the way down and kick the shifter, sending a mechanical scream into the air as we shot forward.
I let my thoughts fall behind me, behind the speed that we was going. I just watched the scenery pass by and let myself relax and enjoy this ride while it lasted. Home wasn't that far away...
Kyo
I stopped setting the plates as I heard an engine yell in the distance and I felt myself grin.
"Yuki's home!" Shigure hollered from outside, and I rolled my eyes and let the smile fade. The stupid Cow just hadda pick up that damn Rat. The poor bike was soiled now.
"Bloody freken hurray!" I barked back immediately, setting down the last dish and dusting my hands off. I blinked for a second at the table and raised an eyebrow at the setting. Shigure, Tohru, The Rat, Haru...
"What's wrong?" Tohru asked as she stepped into the dining room, and I looked up at her. Her pale yellow shirt almost blended into her apron and her jeans were faded at the knees, white socks covering her feet. Her hair was pulled up into a pony tail and her hands were busy drying themselves off on a white kitchen towel. A smile was on her face and question lit her eyes. I looked away and back to the table, then back to her.
"Nothin'." I said simply and gave her a slight sideways grin. I shouldn't point it out to her, she would just gasp and say 'I'm sorry' a thousand times. After all she did give them to me to set...
"Okay!" She smiled and continued on her way through the open porch door and turned from my sight. Quickly I grabbed one and walked into the kitchen. I twirled it in my fingers as I opened a cabinet and stopped, stilling it in my hands. I looked down at it for a moment, then slowly slid the extra fifth plate into it's spot on top of all the others. A moment later another scream of an engine - closer this time- pulled my attention from the pile of plates to the outside. I went to leave then stopped and shut the cabinet door, staring at it for another moment.
My heart cried out for that stupid god damned plate, for me to be able to eat with them - to eat at all.
"Wasn't that sweet..." An irritatingly familiar voice filtered up through the air near me and I felt frustration bubble in the back of my mouth. I turned toward him - or more accurately toward his voice- and looked down to find him in his alter form. He stared up at me, black eyes surrounded by orange fur, tail swaying back and forth on the kitchen floor. The name tag glittered in the incandescent lights of the kitchen, the letters 'KABOCHA' glittering silver against black. And even though he was in this form, I felt as if he was smiling at me.
"...she put out an extra plate for you...how nice." The whiskers on his face twitched and he yawned, stretched out his front limbs, then looked up toward me again. "Kyo-Kyo, go with him to the main house and visit Zuma -Sensei , n'kay?"
I glared down at him and was about to open my mouth to shoot back a response when Tohru stepped back into the kitchen. I looked over at her and so did he, and immediately I felt stupid for looking like I was talking to the cat. She just smiled at me, then smiled at the cat - walking over to him with little steps and picking him up. She then turned an looked at me again with him cradling in her arms, and for a very valid reason jealousy bubbled in my stomach.
"They'll be here any minuet. Want to come out and greet them with me?" She asked with a smile, scratching the scruff of the Cat-Kyosetsu's neck. He- meanwhile- just continued to stare at me. I snorted and turned away from her, the cabinet that held the plates in it coming into view. I stared at it for a moment - heart thumping in my chest again- then crossed my arms and turned my head back slightly to look at her.
"Fine!...But only to keep ya company, okay?!" I said with a bit of bitterness in my voice, regretting it instantly. But Tohru just smiled - as if she understood- and nodded, then turned down the hall. A second later she popped her head back into the kitchen and smiled at me.
"Thank you...I'll meat you out there." She said simply, her eyes shining. She then dropped that cat lightly and turned again down the hallway. Kabocha/Kyosetsu walked into the kitchen then, looking behind himself and I stared at the doorway nibbling on my lip - my arms tense in their crossed position. The sound of the front door sliding open caught my ears, and equally I heard it shut not even a moment later.
"Your blushing." I felt my back straighten and I dropped my arms, then turned to him again. He was human again, white shirt and pants loose on his frame. I glared full force at my ancestor, wishing with all my might that I would be able to punch him in the face one day.
"Screw you..." I mumbled, anger flushing my face more. My hands were clenched into fists at my sides, anger wafting off my body toward him. The other dead orange haired Sohma just grinned at me, odd shapes eyes crinkling at the edges. He chuckled and pointed toward the door to the hallway.
"Go outside Kyo, and enjoy yourself. Go to Kazuma's and see him and Hatori, and look in on Kagura and Momiji as well." He smiled, actual sincerity laced in his low voice. I stared at him for a moment, then nodded - my anger vanishing like a ghost. I turned to look at the cabinet again, then pushed myself off the ground through the roof of the kitchen and into that Rats room. I went through it without stopping, pushing through the boards of the ceiling and thought the tiles of the roof to get outside. I felt the night consume my bodiless sole and it threatened to take me away. The night always did...
Tohru was standing in front of the house, her small jacked draped around her as another vicious yell of an engine ripped thought the quiet of the night. I pushed off the ceiling and sailed over her- two stories above her gave me a better view of the skyline. The city not a mile away was lit by a eerie urban glow, office buildings that poked above the regular hills of homes and shops gigantic compared to them. Hill wavered in the background, forest green compared to the night. I knew if I pushed myself up anymore I would be able to see over those rolling hill of trees and homes to other glowing city's and maybe the very tip of Tokyo if I wished.
Instead I dropped like a lead weight down next to her, feet touching down on the stone path way.
The stones were cold under my feet...They were cold under my feet...
I blinked as that feeling vanished a moment later when Tohru looked over at me with a smile, and I couldn't help but smile back at her. Not a minuet later did a headlight flash between the trees, the sound of a engine getting closer and closer.
I must admit, he looks good on a bike I thought as I pushed off the ground to follow Tohru as she walked toward the break in the trees, hovering a foot or two off the ground. The closer they got the slower they went until I could see them clearly. I watched as Tohru gathered a breath an let it out, then looked at me one last time and then looked back toward the two others Sohma's approaching. I was going to ask what she was doing when reality smacked me in the back of the head again and I remember who else was on that bike...
I became invisible again...
Haru stopped next to Tohru and didn't even look at me. I sighed and pushed myself up toward a tree, settling my foot on a high branch and looked toward the city again. Why should I care so much if they pretend not to see me when He's around? I told them to...right? Not that I care too much anyway, but...I'm glad they don't think Tohru and Haru are crazy any more. That would suck if they got put away because of me...
I looked down just in time to hear the end of their conversation. The Rat was standing on all four legs next to Tohru, who was looking at Haru with understandable worry.
"You sure you don't want to stay for dinner? I've made enough..." She asked the Cow who was in the process of getting his helmet on. Haru shook his head negative and clipped his chin strap, flipping the visor up so he could meet her eyes.
"No thank you Tohru. Hatori wants me home." He said simply in a low voice. I let my foot slip off the tree branch and fell12 feet down to them, stopping inches form the ground and about 3 feet in front of Haru. He looked toward me for a second, the back to them.
'Hatori wants me home'...He's going to the main house. And Hatori live near Kazuma...
"Oh....alright then." She smiled and folded he hands behind her. The Rat smiles slightly at Haru and fixed his stance on his crutches.
"Thank you for the ride home..." He said gracefully and dignified, and instantly I wanted to fight that Rat. I crossed my arms and forced my wild aggravation down as he added in upon a second thought, "..and sorry about the stairs thing..."
All three of us looked at him oddly. Wait...The hell?! He was apologizing?! What had the world without me come to... I thought as Haru shook his head and looked down at the steering bars of the dirt bike, grabbing the ignition switch.
"Don't worry about it." The Cow mumbled, turning the massive customized engine the bike had on. If anyone knew about what was in that bike, it would be me.
"Alright," Tohru stepped back and waved at him. "Next time then! See you at school!" She shouted over to him as Haru revved it, gas spewing out of the helixes that it had for tailpipes. God I wanted that bike...
The Rat stepped back with her and Haru turned the bike around, then turned to wave and revved the bike again, shooting off down the path way to the city. I stared after him - my ticket to the main house- then cursed and turned toward where Tohru and The rat were standing to find them almost all the way in the house.
Do it now! I told myself, looking back down the path Haru took - the head light fading through the trees. Do it now or you know you won't go to Kazuma's at all!
"T-tohru!" I shouted, spinning toward the front door. She spun around quickly from helping him and jumped out the door, gazing at me through large and suddenly worried eyes.
"What?!" She said back, voice raise because of distance. The Rat poked his head out of the doorway and gave her an odd look, calling her name. I pointed toward the path they had just come from, picking myself up off the ground a little more. The light was fading altogether...
"I'm going to the main house! I'll be back later!" I half shouted down to her, and she nodded her head wildly. I smirked and rose into the air a little more, then added with a second through. "Don't wait up!"
I heard her laugh as I shot toward the fading light of the bike, forcing my way thought the trees that stood in my way. Haru's light flickered in the distance like a candle and started glowing stronger, the stroke and growl of the engine growing louder. Ahead of me the light of the city grew stronger as well, and so did the sound of other life.
I hadn't interacted with any other person for so long, truthfully I wanted noting but to walk through the city and be seen again. For one who once thought of people as a gigantic obstacle in life - like myself - to want to be put back in that type of situation was sad, but true. God did I want to be alive again...
I felt the Tear-ing connection I had with Shigure's house snap off and I suddenly became self reliant - using the energy I held within myself to keep myself stable and whole in this world. That a stupid rule with this Tear-ing system, I needed someone to constantly pull this energy off of or I would fade. It's kind hard to survive that way when you want to be as free as I do, but it's something that I only have to live with for a little while longer...I hope.
I held my hand in front of me, forcing the power that I had left toward the scream of Haru's bike. If he was close enough, I could tag an energy line to him and follow him all the way to the main house without a proble-
-Got it! Yes!!
I closed me eyes for a second and pulled as hard as I could on the strand of energy that I had created. In moments I was next to him, heading toward my old home. Not that going back there was really a good thing....
Yuki
It's been four days since Haru and I had those words in the parking lot, and the entire time since then something has been nagging at the back of my mind - and at the bottom of my heart. Had I really been that distracted to call him that?...
"Yuki?" A soft voice called from the doorway of the living/dinning room, and I marked my spot in the book I was reading and turned toward her. Tohru was bundled up against the cold that was growing stronger since last night - snow had fallen harder and thicker since then, and getting to school this morning was more of a pain then normal. Her heavy winter coat was zippered up to her chin, red and blue scarf wrapped tight around her neck. She was fumbling with trying to get her mittens on both of her hands, face starting to flush from the extra heat that the winter wear gave her inside.
"I'm going to work now." She said with a smile, brushing her hair out of her face. "There's a pot of stew in the kitchen, but please wait until Shigure gets home to heat it up. There's enough for both of you, and I made dumplings in case you're hungry while he's still at the Main house."
"Thank you..." I said simply, at a sudden loss for words. She normally just left us to fend for ourselves on the nights she stayed out at work late -Shigure had gained some type of cooking skill in the past few years wall I on the other hand (Though I hate to admit) am still as unable to cook as I have always been. Yet Tohru just smiled at me knowingly and pushed the hair away from the other side of her face.
"No problem. I'll be home late, so just keep the front and hallway light on for me, okay? You'll be alright alone, right?" I nodded yes to both questions and watched her turn with a smile. I just sat and stared at the doorway for another minuet as I heard her open the front door then close and lock it.
I turned back to my book after that, but found the quiet to loud for me to ignore. There was no sound of life - no breathing, no footsteps, no voices. I found that even the quiet I had created in my mind was too much for me and maybe I should have taken it as a sing to do something about the quiet, but I didn't. The words on the pages slowly started to run into each other, and I finally shut it when I had to read the same sentence four or five times over.
' ...Kyo's dead, Yuki...'-
I shook my head, surprised as Haru's voice echoed in my mind. A shiver flew up my spine as goose bumps rose on my arms and the back of my neck. Quiet settled in around me again, but this time it pushed against me as if to suffocate me.
'...It's just so quiet. The house, the night, everything-'
I stood up abruptly cutting Shigure's voice off. I managed to make my way to the porch doors while on two unsteady feet and I slid them open, stepping into the night. The snow was still falling lightly, creating more layers of itself on earth. Even out here the quiet was suffocating...
"-I don't know what I would have done if you died."
"There was....noting we could have done..."
I stepped back into the house and slammed the door behind me, trying to clear my head again. I don't want to hear theses thing, I don't want to live in the past. It all doesn't matter, what was done is done. It's not like I ever cared...
I grabbed my book from the table and hobbled into the kitchen, checking the time as I went to the refrigerator. There was a note taped to the door of it that stated the time I was to go to the hospital and have this stupid cast taken off my foot - I thanked God that it would be in two days. Upon opening the fridge I found the pot of stew for myself and Shigure, along with the dumplings.
"He'll be back in a few minuets, so please don't fight on his birthday. For me, please?"
My hand stopped inches from the container and twitched.
"It's shock. He should be fine. Now about the other one..."
"...Well...isn't that too bad. Did you put him in the ground yet?"
I dropped it a second later, my appetite disappearing instantly. My skin crawled as I felt the blood flow out of my face. The night was creeping into the house ever so slowly, I felt the cold and the darkness seeping through the cracks in the walls. I looked up to the clock again, wondering if it was two early to turn in. Anything other then sitting here alone...
"Did you get the cake?"
"Don't worry, he's coming with me..."
"There was no way to save him-"
"-if I had just died instead!"
"Yuki, It's alright. I'm here, and everything will be okay..."
"You can live with me if you wish-"
"-Keep it closed. Just...leave it as it was..."
"Fight me!"
My book slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor with a dull thud, my eyes growing wide. I spun around as if acting on instinct and was prepared to see someone rush at me but-...found the kitchen completely, and utterly empty. The protective hairs on the back of my neck stood up straight as chaos erupted in my mind. Frenzied thoughts and sentences ran in and out of my head, words and voices of the past and the present. I slammed the refrigerator door shut with more power the I should have and turned toward the hallway, leaning heavily against the wall.
At the first step of the stairs I switched walls and leaned against it, and suddenly my finger tips brushed wood. I looked down, eyes growing wider- how could I possibly forget what side-
"Why do you do that? Your wearing a line down the wall, you know?!" The Dog said with a hint of morning grumpiness as he jumped down the last three stairs and slid into the kitchen. The older writer stared at him with his arms crosses and brow wrinkled. I looked on with passive eyes sipping my simple full cup of orange juice - we had no real breakfast today for Tohru went to school early for extra review.
"Don't know, and who cares." He shot back, opening the refrigerator door and digging through the bottom racks to the milk.
"Because your gong to have to paint over them-" The Dog began.
"-Yea right! I ant paintin' squat. Sorry!" He barked back, turning to us with the carton of milk in his hand and slamming the fridge door shut with the other.
"Your going to have to." I interjected, stepping into the receiving end of a nasty but regular glare. "No one else is going to pull your weight, baka neko."
"Shut it!" He then threw the milk at me, drenching myself and the Dog in it. I stared at him for a moment, flicking the white liquid off the tip of my nose- and then suddenly tossed my remaining full glass of orange juice on him. He spluttered for a moment as the Dog burst out laughing, then shot at me with his fist raised and-
I cursed and pushed myself away from that wall, clattering up the stairs with thumps and harsh breath. I couldn't think, for some reason my mind didn't want to work. There was no brief moment of clarity, no break in the clouds- just voices and visions of the past.
The top landing of the stairs came quickly, and I clutched onto the corner wall. My heart was racing like I was running a marathon, blood rushing through my body and a quick pace. I slowly leaned against the wall using my good foot, eyes closed for a mere moment of rest. I was running...
Though when I opened my eyes, I found that room open. The door was wide open, as well as the window that let small flakes of misguided snow filter through the moonlight into the room.
"Your giving up your library?" I questioned, eyes looking at the shelf's upon shelves of book in the small room. Dust had collected on the tops of each and every one of the old book, as well as the bookshelf's themselves. "You had a library?"
The dog turned around to face us, sleeves of his writer robe pulled away from his arms by black strips of fabric. He was grinning from ear to ear, sizing up every one of us for the work he was probably going to make us do.
"I've always had a library! What did you think I kept in this room?" He asked, writing his name on the dust that had settled on the window.
"...The body's?..." He mumbled next to me, shifting his weight to his other hip and crossing his arms. I felt myself grin despite the person who made the comment. I mumbled back a agreement and I barley heard him snort. Tohru stepped forward into the room with a smile and we bother turned to watch her.
"What do you need me to do Shigure-San?" She said politely as the Dog pulled a strap from a box next to him and proceeded to wrap up a bundle of books.
"Just take these down stairs to my office and put them on the shelves!" He handed her a stack of books and smiled, then continued to wrap more up. Tohru took her first trip down the stairs I wrapped up another bundle of old dusty books as well.
"Should we really trust her here?" He said lowly beside me, tying up another bundle of books. I gave him a dirty look through my hair and pilled another group of books off the shelve and tied them together as well.
"Trust her more then I trust you..." I said with resentment thick in my voice, and he looked up with slight surprise on his face. He didn't know I heard him and his face showed it. That's when Tohru stepped back into the room and gathered another binding of books.
"You don't gotta help." He said sharply, gathering a stack underneath his arm and giving her a look. She just smiled at him and said 'it's not problem'. I grabbed two of my own stacks as he grabbed another one and follower her out. He gave me another dark look and was about to say something to me when a surprised cry came from the stairs.
I took an uneasy step forward, transfixed somehow by the sight of the inside of the room. Moonlight lit the wooden floor in a unearthly glow and bathed the rest of the room in light. I had never seen the inside of his room before for as long as I've had that displea-...since I've known him. I don't think anyone had ever been in any of his room - what ever age he was. In fact, I don't ever remember seeing his house at all.
Kagura must have I thought, laying my hand on the side of the doorway. A old looking desk sat in front of me adorned with a lamp, random papers, and a old school text book for the tenth grade. Next to it sat a old wooden bookcase that I remember Shigure having in his own room/office, and next to the window sat a old and broken looking dresser. It looked as if the latched of the window were rusted and falling apart, their once silver hinges now a dull brown.
"Don't call me stupid!"
"Then don't act stupid, stupid..."
"You got us lost! Give me the damn map!"
"Sorry, no can do. Maybe later..."
"Lets take this outside!
"We are outside..."
"Kyo just happens to hate the rain..."
"That's It! Lets go...ya....ya stupid Rat...geez..."
"DON'T LOOK AT ME!"
"Lets...lets go home..."
Slowly I slid inside the room, examining everything like it would leap out and attack me. Another dresser sat on the far wall next to the closet, and a futon was rolled up and tucked next to that dresser. I walked around the room once, looking at everything and anything I could -absorbing information that I wouldn't need to know now. I didn't touch anything, afraid that my fingerprints would somehow destroy the vary essences this room had.
I felt him in this room. I felt his presence like he was standing next to me, ready with a quick comeback or a raised fist. And for the first time in a long time I felt unprepared for anything. I felt out of place again - like I had in that first year he started at my school. I felt like I was a few feet shorter, body still awkward to itself, eyes still dead.
And the strangest of all, above every other feeling or thought that happened to fall along this type of train of thought...it felt right. It felt normal, like this was right and this was how it was should be.
"Yuki!!"
I spun around from talking to Haru as her voice called out and spotted her running toward me, brown hair flying behind her and brown-gray eyes wide with happiness. Her pink summer dress fluttered around her legs and wall one hand was waving toward us, the other was clutching onto someone else's hand. He ran behind her, small legs stumbling to keep up with her longer ones. His long black shorts covered almost all of his legs, and a small white tank top left his arms bare. His short wild orange hair whipped around his ears, his crimson eyes half closed and a smile on his face.
"Kagura?" I said, turning to face the two approaching, watching them stop a foot or two away. Kagura was my cousin - and the Boor of the Jyuunishi- so I had seen her before. But this new kid...
"We came...to...play with...you..." Kagura panted, brushing her hair out of her flushed face. The boy stood slightly behind her, staring at me in about as much wonder as I was staring at him with.
"What do you want to play?!" Haru asked from behind me, stepping toward the pair. His hair was all around short, and for now he wore a white T-shirt and forest green shorts - feet bare. "I'm Hat-su-Haru, but just call me Haru, okay?"
"I'm Kagura!" She said back and pulled the orange hair boy's arm so he stood next to her. "And this is Kyo."
Haru then reached forward and grabbed little Kyo's hand and pulled him past Kagura and me toward where Momiji and Kisa were, shouting something to them. I watched as they introduced Kyo the game of Tag, and then began to play.
"Yuki-kun? Aren't you gonna play with them?" Kagura asked me, and I shook my head a negative.
"Hatori doesn't want me playing until he can find out what's wrong with me." I answered and Haru fell from the tree he was climbing as a chorused laughter by the other three children. Kagura crossed her arms and gave me a look.
"Hatori said you could play. Go play with them, I'm playing too." She said simply, and suddenly she was tackled from behind sending her face first into the ground. That little boy - Kyo - had his arms wrapped around her middle, a smile on his face.
"Come play with us Ka-gura!" He shouted, unwrapping himself from her waist. She got up onto her knees and brushed off her dress, the sprinted off toward Haru who shouted and ran in any direction. Kyo - still on his knees- smiled up at me and extended a hand. I stared at it for a minuet, then looked at him.
"Your Yuki, right? I'm Kyo. Can we be friends?"
...Could we be friends?...I didn't know who he was at the time, not until Akito told us who each other were. Then suddenly the eyes that looked at me with such friendship turned into utter hate, and I naturally hated him back. That's how it worked, right? But-...
My eyes stopped on the two year old calendar that hung in his room, still on the month of October. That date was still circled in red marker, and little notes and such riddled the rest of the calendar with sporting events and music lessons.
-But were friends? was there ever a time in my life that we could actually be called friends? Friends are people you trust, who you share you secrets with and who knows all your faults and strengths. Whom your equal to, whom you respect, whom you admire...
Who you don't constantly fight with...
Who you would want to see standing next to you in desperate times...
Who can back you up when you need them too...
...God, he was my friend...
I sunk to the ground underneath the window, back against the low wall for support. My hands were shaking slightly and breathing was slowly becoming difficult.
The realization came to late for me, two years too late. Though noting would have changed if I had found this out before hand, It would have made things...more complicated? Harder to deal with?...
...Why am I lying to myself again. It would hurt more...like it does now.
The last thing...that we ever said to each other...the last thing we ever did...
I slowly pulled my kick down, satisfied with the result. He lay in the back yard now flat on his back, just breathing for a moment. I too was breathing a little heaver then normal, surprised a little by that. He was getting better...just slightly...
Then quickly he kicked his feet up and planted them on the ground, using the momentum to pull the upper part of his body up. The minuet he was on his feet he quickly wiped the small trail of blood that was coming from his nose away with the back of his hand, settling into a simple stance that Kazuma had taught him until it became as easy as breathing. Over this year our fighting had started to become a little rougher, ever since he managed to get in one good square punch and hit my face. We each walked into school the next day with a matching set of black and blue eyes - for I had thrown my right hand out the same moment he did, and it seemed that I managed to land a square punch to his face as well. Ever since then we began to draw blood, and four weeks after that draw the Cat broke his left pointer and index fingers-
He launched himself at me again, but I ducked away easily and came face to face with his shin. Unfortunately for him my arm was ready to defined before he even though of doing that, and I countered by griping onto his leg and pulling sideways. He forced his weight down and landed on his hands, swing the leg that hadn't been grabbed around to sweep me off my feet. A single moment before that I took a step backwards and pushed myself off the porch, landing on both feet a few feet away. He pulled himself up quickly, slightly winded -and if looks could kill I would have been dead on the spot.
"Nice try...last ditch effort on beating me before you turn seventeen?" I asked, a slightly smile on my face and my head held high. He growled and shot off the porch with a jump kick, but I was a foot away and already launching my attack when he landed. My kick sent him flying toward the side of the house, sliding on his back to a stop. There was a moment after I put my foot down of utter quiet as the wind blew, and then he started to laugh.
Immediately it annoyed me and I crossed my arms defensively, switching into another fighting pose. Yet he didn't get up - only laughed- and clutched his side where I had kicked him. Slowly he uncurled one arm and sent himself up on a elbow, staring at me with eyes of hate but a grin of fun.
"Your freken' pissed I hit you, aren't ya?" He said with mirth in his voice, and I felt aggravation bubble on the back of my mouth. I glared at him, a small mocking smile coming to my face.
"No," I said sharply, and the grin fell from his face. "Surprised that it took you over 12 years to actually hit me. Then again - technically you didn't win that fight, it was a draw."
He was up in a flash, fist flying toward me. I barley blocked my face from being hit as I moved toward the side, and our eyes connected. For a brief moment saw everything that was hidden in his now blood red eye - pain and suffering that I had some knowledge of, and other things I had no idea about they're cause.
"You are pissed!" He exclaimed, flying around in a circle and kicking out quickly - I dodged with centimeters to spare. He wasn't playing any more, he wanted a real fight. I snorted at the comment and dropped down like he had before and attempted to knock his feet out from under him. Yet even before I started to do that he was in the air, mid way through a flip.
"Why would I be?!" I shot back, avoiding his fist by another few inches. I heard him growl as he sent out a high kick and then switched legs and kicked backwards - both of which I just missed being hit by.
"Cause that means-" Another fist flew by my head at a noticeable speed. "-That your getting worse, or-" His foot almost made contact with my chest, and I felt the breeze as he pulled away. "-I'm getting as good as you!"
"You'll never be as good as me!" I shot back, dodging another roundhouse punch. That comment made my blood boil in my veins, his entire cocky attitude made my heart beet quicken with...something - Anger, confusion, and pride. Either he was getting better - because I was trying my hardest to stay away from his attacks- or I was getting worse. And neither was true.
"Your right!" He shouted back, eyes aflame with anger. I could see the adrenaline of fighting take hold of his body as another fist flew by centimeters from my nose. I gave him a odd look as he gust grinned and tried to pull of a combination of high kicks and sweeps. "I'll be better!"
"Never!" I shouted the word, eyes growing thin. The words was hissed and harsh, and finally - for the first time in my entire life, in the entire time he had ever challenged me to a fight- I took a swing at him.
And missed.
I stumbled forward a little and ducked, feeling his leg brush the longer hairs on my head that had not fallen as quickly as the rest. I switched feet quickly and kicked out backwards yet didn't connect with anything, then dropped to the ground as another leg cut through the air where my head had just been. I shot out my leg and attempted to sweep his legs from under him, but by the time I started I saw him flipping over me and rolled out of the way before his bare feet landed where my head was another second ago.
I kicked up toward his chest and twisted, kicking my other foot out as well, but he had ducked and was moving under to get up close. I flipped myself backwards just in time and pushed forward, swinging my arm out for another punch.
And missed again.
He was on the inside of my arm and pushing forward, shoulder in. There was no way to avoided his charge without consequence, so I decided to take him with me. When he was a inch away from hitting my chest with his shoulder I whipped my arm around as hard as I could and connected to the back of his heat, just barley avoiding his shoulder in the process. He went down head first but pulled out in a role and flung a foot out right away.
There was no stopping, no time for thought. There was just him and me, and the movements of a ancient fighting from. Sweat was rolling down the side of my head and sticking my shirt to my back, the palm of my hands moist as well. He was looking the same, shirt clinging to his body and the fire still lit in his eyes. I managed to step back as he delivered a killing blow, palm inches from my nose - the wind from it pushing my hair back. I grabbed his hand quickly and used his momentum to pull him past me and kicked out at the same time. Yet before I managed to pull him all the way he grabbed my arm and yanked just the same.
I lost my balance and wobbled slightly as another kicked flew past my head and I baled my fist, pushing the rest of my strength into my legs and I shot toward him - whipping my arm around as quickly as I could.
This time, I contend with flesh. This time, so did he.
His fist slammed in to me hard on the side of the face, about the place where your jaw bone connect to the rest of the skull. The blow sent me in the opposite direction that I had pushed my weight, but I felt my fist connect with skin and slam into bone as well. I fell to the ground with a 'thud', whipping my legs around and up underneath me again an instant later.
He was crouching as well when I got to my feet, one had drawn inward. Blood dripped from his nose and the side of his mouth, a cut open next to his temple. Likewise, I felt something dripping from my own nose and down the left side of my face.
Draw.
Anger boiled in me. I would not let this be a draw! Not again! I would beat him in something!
I ducked as his fist swung at me, and then I brought my foot up and connect to his chest, sending him flying seven or eight feet backwards. I stayed for a moment afterwards and then slowly let myself stand, my hands shaking.
"Win..." I said simply, but the anger - the hatred- was still there, still pushing me to continue. He coughed once and then slowly sat up, eyes fierce and sharp. The trail of blood on the side of his face was smeared with mud, his eyes covered in a glaze of...pain?
I blinked as he tried to stand, suddenly amazed and the inner strength he had. He flew toward me again - slower then before- and I caught his foot with my own and had him trip and fall on his face. He stayed down a minuet, then staggered up and came after me again. And each time his eyes became darker, more full of hate and rage and pain then the time before.
"I hate you!" The comment was delivered with a punch that I avoided easily. His eyes gleamed dangerously, as if they asked me to bicker with them. And for some odd reason - weather the knock to the head he gave me did it or not- I fought back.
"I hate you too!" I knocked his punch away and shoved - with both hands- against his chest. He stumbled backwards then shot at me again, and I pushed him back just the same. I was suddenly tired of fighting, tired of hate, just tired...
"It's your faulty...it's all your fault!" I moved just in time, eyes wide again.
"What?!" I snapped back, kicking out at him. He avoided - somehow- and came again. There was darkness in his eyes, a circle of deep indigo around his pupil.
"Your the reason. Everything's your fault!" He said again, pushing one last punch at me. I caught it and just healed it for a moment, staring at him. He stared back - anger, pain, bitterness, strength, courage, and just...tired- all reflected in his eyes. The same feelings that I held within myself.
And for some reason, it made my furious!
My fist struck him again, sending him toppling to the ground. He struggled up again - leaning on an elbow- and glared up at me with the most hate eyes were able to hold. I stared down at him with just as much hatred, but even more jealousy.
"Your just trying to pin your faults on someone else-"
"-I'm not! They're your faults, you lying, deceiving fuc-"
"-it's all your own fault! Everything! It's because of you this family is cursed, and it's your fault not mine!! Damnit, all I ever did was say 'yes'!"
My hands were clenched at my sides. My anger had taken over me for a moment, and all I knew in that split second was that the boy in front of me was the one responsible for the curse. I had let it take me over, I had been consumed by it, and instantly I knew that those words had scared both of us and nothing between us - what ever understanding there had been- was gone.
He just stared up at me- eyes gleaming- and then we shouted at each other for the very last time, and stormed off in different directions. His voice rang in my head days after that, and for the life of me I didn't know why. It was something we always say but never say...and something unexpected came with the proclamations this time: pain. It hurt...
"Screw you Yuki! You not worth my time!"
"Forget you Kyo! Your not worth anything! You never were to begin with, and you aren't now!"
I had thought that would be it for now, and that even though he went storming off we would fight again when we got home. And that we would fight in the morning about how immature he still was even though he was 'older', and we would fight over what we would be eating that night. I though we would fight about school work - or lack of school work- and that we would fight over Tohru for prom. I thought that we would fight about what jobs we were going to have, where we were going to live, and why we had to see each other at family gathering's.
But I thought wrong.
I saw him twice after that fight, once in the hallway of the hospital and I yelled out his name along with everyone else, and the last time when I had gotten into the emergency room and watched his hand fall from Tohru's. All sound in the room stopped, and the two of them were then the only other people I could see. I watched his eyes close and I watched as blackness engulfed his body in my vision, leaving the pure white around Tohru tinted gray.
A second later, I passed out.
I never saw him again.
And in that black abyss that took me from the emergency room, a part of me was sick with worry that the Cat would come after it. It chorused the same thought over and over again, something about 'It coming to get me', and 'It would never let me get away'.
Another part of me felt like I had died along with him. That on some other unearthly level a connection we had through our bickering and fighting was broken and would never be right again. The person I wanted to be so much more then myself was gone and would never come back. I was disconnected from someone I knew had one of the biggest connections with myself, yet I refused to admit it.
When I woke up and they told me he had died, I didn't cry.
When we went the the funeral and I had to sit and watch Tohru cry to herself because not one of us could comfort her, I didn't cry.
When I watched the coffin being dropped into the cold and wet ground on that rainy Sunday - the day after his birthday- and realized that there were only 6 people - Myself, My brother, Shigure, Tohru, Hana, and Uo- there to watch him be buried, I didn't cry. I didn't cry and as Shigure took Tohru back to the hospital to sit and pray for Momiji's life for hours upon hours.
Yet after a hour of staring down at the slowly filling hole in which his body lay while standing next to my brother, who only after an hour wrapped his arms around me in a warm and wet embrace, murmuring quietly in a soothing tone, and when I didn't push him away yet instead grabbed onto him like a life line I never had as a child did I let myself shed tears that were simply washed way by the ever present rain.
Tears or regret. Tears for Tohru and all her loss at this, for the horror that Momiji, Hatori, and Kisa had to go through because of this, for the pain I witnessed in everyone's faces, of the satisfaction I had seen in Akito's when he was told of the news, for the pain I knew everyone had taken away from this one thing.
I didn't cry for him. I couldn't...I wouldn't...
But I hadn't realized then that I destroyed the only thing that I really wanted in my life - someone who understands. I didn't realize that when we shook hands 15-something years ago in back of the main house and had played that game of Tag until midnight with the others, it meant that we were friends. I didn't know what would happen that night either - that I would never ever see him with his fist raised, or in a fit of rage, or making sarcastic comments.
...but now...I did.
I had huddle up underneath that window and buried my head in my arms and cried for him. For his death, for the pain of his life, for the regrets he must have had...
...I cried for my friend.
And the darkness in the house seemed to consume me, to eat me alive from the inside out. Cold had clouded around me and stuck to my very skin, and slowly pins and needles raced up my arms and settled un the back of my neck - but I didn't care. I left my head in my arms and just say, tracks of the small amount of tears I was willing to give up for him traced down my face.
I felt hollow. My heart felt cold...I would never be able to make it up. There would never be forgiveness, there would never be forgetting, and my sole would carry this weight for the rest of my short life. Shigure had once told me...that once one of the Jyuunishi died, a chain reaction would start, and I would be one of the first to die after that - that's the order. There were so many regrets in my life, so many broken...everything's. And there was nothing I could do...
She sat with her head bowed, long hair covering most of her face. A black dress covered her from shoulders to toes, a black winter jacket covering the rest of her. Autumn wind played with her hair, revealing the tears that never seemed to stop falling from her eyes. Her skin was pail compared to her hair, and her eyes seemed to stand out - clouded by pain and loss, tinted by death. And she cried and cried, and I could do nothing...
I heard the sharp pitch of the heart monitor as it flat lined, and I could do nothing...
I watched as everyone accused him for his mothers death and as I stood next to Akito, and I was unable to do anything...
We are cursed, and I can't do anything...
He's dead...Kyo's dead... and I can't...I couldn't do anything...
Cold snapped around me and traveled down my spine, the faded away all together. I felt pinpricks of misguided snowflakes falling onto my bare arms, the cold stinging slightly.
"...You finished sulking' in my room yet, Nezumi?"
My heart stopped in my chest. My eyes were wide open, the cold on my arms stinging and traveling up my back. Had I just...had that...?
Slowly I raised my head from my arms and found a pair of tan feet about a foot away from mine. One foot was keeping constant time tapping on the floor, both of the ankles - along with the rest of the legs - were covered by randomly ripped cargo pants. The black shirt was ripped on shoulder, and a pair of tan arms were crossed in front of it. A slightly pointed nose was turned up at me, thin lips turned down. Crimson eyes glared down at me covered slightly by a thick mat of bright orange hair.
All I could do was stare. Everything I ever learned in my 17 years of life told me that what I was seeing was an illusion, but somehow....I knew that it wasn't. I felt it...
He looked down at me sharply, one eyebrow raising. Slowly, a slight grin formed on his face. He uncrossed his arms and dropped them into his pockets, his grin widening.
"What the hell are ya staring' at, Kuso Nezumi?" My brain felt numb. This wasn't possible...it wasn't probable...it defied all logic...but...
"You're not real..." I said simply, shell shocked. He blinked at me for a second, then reached over me and shut the window - cutting off all light in the room. Then slowly - like a firefly- a ball of yellow light appeared in his hand. Slowly he squatted down in front of me, his grin growing.
"Really? Then are you doin' all this?" He asked, and suddenly slight fear replaced my shock. He was...he was a...it was a gho..
"This isn't possible..." I mumbled, eyes wide. He laughed once, and then another type of grin faded onto his face. One he us to get right before he was about to fight me.
"How much you wanna bet?" He said with a sneer, defiance radiating off of him like it always had. "I'm here - Nezumi - to make you wish you were the one who died. I will make your life a living hell, you can bet on that..."
He had said the words, but I didn't feel them the way I had. Because that smile, the one that normally challenged me to a fight, was not a challenge at all. There was something about it that gave me another thought altogether, that told me things only simple actions could. Simply, it stated ' No hard feelings?'. It was a grin he normally got when he talked to Tohru, but I knew it well enough.
He was, after all, my best friend.
"...Baka Neko...how did you manage to get yourself killed?!"
And suddenly - even if I did fall asleep underneath that window in Kyo's room, even if Kyo was really dead and this was just some warped dream, it didn't matter- life was normal again. Life was life...
Even though I'm going insane...I've lost it...I've cracked...I've got what ever Haru and Tohru have...gods...
But if this is a dream, I'll live it now. At least I'm forgiven here...
Tohru
"Honda Tohru-San?"
I turned at the voice, surprised that anyone would be outside on a snowy night this late. There was a boy leaning against the building I worked at wearing a long white coat that stopped around his ankles. Some type of fur lined the inside and the collar of it, as well as the sleeve's and along the very bottom. The coat was unbuckled, revealing a thick pair of black working boots as well as thin black pants. His shirt was pure white and had a emblem of a golden feather and a halo over his heart.
What struck me first about this boy was that his hair was the exact same shade of Kyo's, a sun ripened orange. His hair hung low around his ears and even longer in the back, his bangs frayed all over his forehead. Yet his hair barley distracted me from his eye that seemed to be to large on his face. They were the color of velvet purple with rings of black and red, his pupils slit like a cats.
He was smiling at me, thin lips a dull pink against his tanned skin. One of his ears had a cuff along the top, it's color golden against the white coat.
The instant I saw him I knew he wasn't normal. I knew that he was someone that I either should run away from of go to, and I didn't know which.
"Yes...T-that's me. Do I know you?" I said apprehensively, gripping my bag tight. The boy pushed off the building and walked toward me slightly, leaving a good foot or two between us. He must of understood what was going through my mind...
"Yes, but only slightly." He said, face become serious all of a sudden. And some how, I knew what he was going to say before he said it.
"I think we need to talk about a certain house 'guest' you have..."
(Chapter End)
Ranting: Ok, you guy's can't be mad at me for not posting anything for a while. I have Mono, so I barley have the energy to make it through school...
I've started to become busy again: My Science regents (That only New York seems to have....) in less then a month, as well as my Sign Language project and final. Theater Guild Banquet is coming up, and I need to make up a lot of work from when I was out (for two weeks...yay) with my lovely Mono. Yet I managed to gather myself up enough to finish this chapter and I've already started on chapter 11, so that might get out before school lets out.
This has got to be the longest chapter so far. On Word Perfect, it's like....20 pages without being indented or spaced out or paragraphed or anything. This might actually rival chapter 5 or 6, witch were the longest before. And you guy's have no idea how hard this chapter was to write...
A LOT happened in this chapter, more then I first planned. We see a little bit of everyone - almost - and a lot happened...Who's this stranger Tohru met outside her building? And what does he know? How will life in Shigure house continue with Yuki now able to see Kyo as well? Can things ever be normal again? And wtf's up with Haru? And if you remember the beginning, who was it and what were they talking about?
Ok everybody, I know you must have a lot of questions. So, lay them on me!
Favorite Line: "A little kitty told me that you have been keeping a secret..." I love Shigure in this, but not as much as I love the flashbacks. Favorite line in that is "Your giving up your library?/You had a library?"...
Favorite character: That's split between Haru and Shigure...
Votes for Shigure getting his book: Yes - one. No - zero...come on guy's. Yes or no?
Date Finished: May 19th , 2004. 10:38 p.m.
Date Edited: May 22nd, 2004. 9:15 p.m.
Moving along...
Juuuust me: Love your name btw. Cheers Yes! Now that Shigure's finished, all I gotta do is focus on Yuki and Tohru. I always though that the way his brain worked was very complex, heck - I think all of them are. Strange connection for them indeed: Friendship. Trust me, this connection - along with the one he has with Haru- will become very important. Thank you very much for the review!
HanaTenchiHimeko: Lol thankx. I'll update ASAP. Trust me - even though my mom's pissed about it, this is my top priority (Besides TG and sketching). See you next time!
HelloKat: Then...welcome to the wonderfully twisted land of Strange Happening's, and my brain. Trust me, there a lot going on that sometimes even I need to ground myself and think about what's happening. And...there may be more! Gasp! Well you'll find out, and I'll see you next time!
yamatoforever: Maybe something in the book will let us know...Thanks for your single vote, and it will count. Trust me. But are you thinking about the price he'll have to pay for getting his book? That means that he'll have to give Akito the God's book, giving him all the information that every single God has had. There could also be so much pain locked up within those books...you never know. Thanks and hope you like this chapter then!
PresidentPrinceT.K.Fanclub: I am honored then! Your comparing me to 'Riceball in a Fruit's Basked'?!?! Now I'm really honored! And sorry, this was as fast as I could update. I'm going to see if i can get these out faster, but thank you for waiting! Hope to hear from you again soon!
Sorry, no bonus this time. I'm way too tired. Just to let you know, the next two or three chapters will be very interesting. Not much to say this time, except that chapter 11 is half way through the half way point of the story. There's a fixed 23 chapters now, and where gonna be half way there!! And it only took from September to now!!....That's just a little sad, on my part that is...
By the way, I don't own FruBa. This plot and original characters are mine, but not Fruba itself. Any twisted, enhanced psychotic tendency, morbid reactions, deep and well deserved brooding and/or beating ones self up that happen to appear in the story are mine and I stake full claims with some help and idea's. Please review, and any flame will be laughed if not ignored. Please, have a nice day!
Talk to you guy's later!!
Ja!
SAL-Chan