Disclaimer: No owning G.W. or this song by G.C.
AvalonsGuardian: To answer peoples questions, I paired Quatra (sp?) and Trowa together so they have no children. Unfortunatly I made Lenne's mother Relena shivers I really didn't want to, but I did. She doesn't play an important role in this fic anyway. Songfic in this chapter. The details are listed below.
Song: Emotionless
Artist: Good Charlotte/ Joel Madden
Hey Dad I'm writing to you
Not to tell you that I still hate you
Just to ask you how you feel
And how we fell apart
how this fell apart
Two years ago I left home to go to L4 for military training classes, to be apart of a rebellion against the E.S.U.N, and a rebellion against my father. Now I'm flying back on a ship heading back to Earth for my first mission. Seek and destroy, Tony and I are supposed to find the Preventor Headquarters and eliminate it.
"Hey Lenne will be there shortly," Tony's my commanding officer. So basically he's in charge.
"Yes sir," I didn't take my eyes off the window. I always wanted to fly out to space, but now I'm not as excited as I was two years ago.
Flash Back
I had run from the house and down to Secs for one last look at my secret spot. I breathed in the sea air as if to tell it good-bye. This was the place my father and I had reunited after fifteen years.
Are you happy out there in this great wide world
do you think about your sons
do you miss you little girl
When you lay down how do you sleep at night
Do you even wonder if we're alright
I took off my shoes and slipped my feet in the water. This was a great surf spot, but I wasn't gonna be surfing for a long time.
"Ready to go?" Tony stood behind me. I slipped my combat boots back on and turned to look at him. "Good bye San Antonio, until we meet again, I hope it won't be soon," I said walking toward Tony.
End Flashback
Two years, two long years. I was kind of ready to go back to San Antonio but I won't be. The Preventor Headquarters are in Japan, woo-hoo. I had met a few Japanese guys in my classes. According to them Japan wasn't as good as it was supposed to be. Sure it was ahead of the world when it came to technology, but by the time you get pasted all the interesting things it was just a money problem. Not a good place for a bunch of rebels either. I smiled at the thought of me being a rebel.
"So you ready to go home?" Tony asked.
"It's not home, my homes in San Antonio, even that wasn't a real home," I sulked.
"You really hate your dad don't you?" Tony questioned.
"I used to, but now he's just a thing in the past," I answered, "I honestly don't care if he lives or dies, just as long as I don't have to be the one to kill him."
We're alright
We're alright
It's been a long hard rode without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
you broke my mother's heart
you broke you children for life
it's not ok but we're alright
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
but those were just the long lost memories of mine
Now I am writing to let you know that I'm still alive
I sat there thinking about the years I spent without my dad. My mom I really didn't care about, I knew who she was. But him, I never heard a single word from him while he was gone. For the longest time I thought he was dead. Than after I found out he wasn't I wondered if he still thought I was alive. I was young and naive than. He didn't care, he never cared. If he did he would have stayed around and watched me grow up, no matter what his damned job was!
The days I spent so cold
So hungry
were full of hate
I was so angry
The scars run deep inside this tattooed body
There things I'll take to my grave
but I'm ok
I'm ok
I don't know, maybe I'm going a little too hard on him. We're going through the atmosphere now. I feel the heat touch my face, but I don't flinch. My mind never wanders. I just keep remembering the night I reunited with my father after those 15 long years. Maybe I should be the one to kill him, maybe…
It's been a long hard rode without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
you broke my mother's heart
you broke you children for life
it's not ok but we're alright
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
but those were just the long lost memories of mine
Now I am writing to let you know that I'm still alive
No, I could never kill him. No matter how much I hated or loathed him. He was still my father; he was still a part of me. I guess now I forgive him, because if it hadn't been for him I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't be a soldier fighting for a cause. I'd still be in San Antonio most likely.
"Thanks dad," I whispered smirking.
And sometimes I forgive
yeah and this time I'll admit
that I miss you
said I miss you
Hey dad