Author's Notes: Thank you so much for the reviews!!!! I got up and was like OMG reviews!!!! So just keep doing what your doing, and I"ll keep doing what I'm doing... Enjoy!

Posters Note- Heh, it's Kat, I'm posting this for Liby, and I just wanted to let you know the layout might be a bit different, cause my computer screws things around when I copy and paste, so if it's a bit confusing, that's my bad I didn't have time to check how she laid it out.

I'm about to finish working on my charts, when I hear a constant knocking at the door. They must have let whoever it is in downstairs. Maybe it was someone on my visitors list, or maybe its Ethan or Millie. I don't know, I would think that after three months they would have learned to keep their key. I unbolt the door, and open it slowly. John Carter III, stands in front of me, I wonder what John's dad is doing here. I can't believe I just did that, he's my dad too. Unless he decides to disown me. I try him for a smile, and he gives me one. Okay, so hopefully this won't be too awkward. I open the door and let him in further. He comes in and takes off his coat, throwing it over a chair. In the meantime I shut the door, and then I walk into his open, expecting arms and give him a kiss on the cheek and an awkward hug. I walk into the kitchen and pull out a teabag, pouring the steaming water over it. I had just made myself a cup, and I know Jack drinks tea as well. I take his cup and lead the both of us into my living room. I had cleaned earlier this morning, although without the kids, there's nothing much left to clean. I think I know why he's here.

"Abby, why didn't you two tell me?"

I was right on target. We hadn't told a lot of people about the divorce. It wasn't an obvious thing. I mean I didn't change back to my maiden name. I had added his name to mine, or rather Richards, and that was the end of it. I kept it, he didn't really care. I sometimes wore my wedding ring out of habit, and I had noticed he did at first too. But as the months progressed, the frequency of both stopped for us. We never quit avoiding each other, but if we were stuck together, we were still together for everyone in the ER. Only two people knew, and we trusted them. Susan wouldn't tell a soul, and if she did I would strangle her. Luka wouldn't tell anyone either, he knows how hard this has been on both of us. I've bonded with him a lot lately. I think Sam knows, now too. He sort of had to explain to her why he was at my apartment three months ago while I was crying. It was a long, horrible time. I kept on blaming myself for ruining the relationship, and I still believe its my fault. But there's nothing I can do.

"We didn't want to make a big deal out of it. You've got to believe me, Jack. I'm sorry. We were just trying to protect the kids."

He nodded his head. I saw him ringing his hands, and cracking his knuckles. His resemblance to Carter is uncanny. They both look alike, and act alike. Even though Jack wasn't in Carter's life full-time, I think Carter had better male role models that taught him a lot more. I've met his mother only a few times. She didn't like me, and I think the feeling was mutual.

"Why? What happened? Everything seemed fine at Christmas?"

I shrugged my shoulder, starring at the pictures on the mantel that Ethan had brought from Christmas. There was one that he took of Carter and me, his hand wrapped around my waist, me leaning into him. We should both become actors, we're both very good at fooling people. I think it comes with the territory of being a doctor. You have to become emotionless to a certain point. You have to look professional. You can't cry in front of patients or families.

"I honestly don't know. We've been falling apart ever since we got back together. I kept on going because I thought it would get better. It did for a while, when the kids were born and growing up. But we just shifted apart. I think Kem and the baby effected him alot. I wish I could tell you more, Jack. But I can't even pinpoint it. We've been putting on an act for the kids, we didn't want them to resent us."

I don't think he ever really got over Kem, Africa, and his stillborn son. He never really talked about it, just kept it locked inside. I tried to be there for him, I dragged him to meetings, I was there when no one else wanted to. I had to sit through his fling with the DCFS worker, and through his pain. I never gave up on him, because I figured out I loved him. It was really late then, but someone I managed to get a second chance. I shouldn't have.

"He's a mess without you."

The one thing I never expected to hear from anyone. He's not a mess without me. He's doing just fine. I see him at work on occasion, he's peppy and energy filled, laughing and joking. He seems so much happier than he has in years. I've even heard through the grapevine that Susan was trying to get him to get out more, with eligible female friends. I was a bit jealous, but I hadn't a right to be. He wasn't mine anymore. And I knew Susan had pretty good taste, she landed Chuck, didn't she? He wasn't hot or handsome, but he was genuinely loving person. He would do anything for her. She was his queen and that was that.

"Jack, he's doing fine. Maybe he's had a rough day. I've had those too."

I watched him play with the cup, and I realized I was doing the same thing. Was I trying to make excuses for him? Was he really alright? Or was he pretending? I don't think he would pretend. He let me walk out that door. He signed the divorce papers. He hasn't called, or even asked how I was doing. By far, I don't think he's given a damn about me. Now I'm making everything about myself. I'm a selfish person, but I can't help it. I've learned how to fend for myself, and my children. Given different circumstances, years earlier, I would have done anything for him.

"Abby, I have a question. And I want the honest truth. Do you still love him?"

I looked at him. The words were coming out of his mouth, I was hearing them, but I wasn't understanding them. I stared at him for a second, before looking away, and standing up, avoiding the question. I heard him let out a sigh as I walked into the kitchen. I leaned against the counter for a second. Did I still love him? I don't know. No. I didn't. I glanced up at the clock on the wall, it was nearing midnight. He had been here for almost two hours, and I have no clue where the time went.

"Jack, are you staying with John, or are you at a hotel?"

I rinsed the cup I had been drinking from and put it on the dryer. I wipe away the water from the counter, and find every reason not to go back into the room with my father-in-law.

"Hotel, down on Lake."

I looked out at the pounding rain behind the glass, it would be hell getting outside and inside without getting soaked. I always liked Jack, he was the closest thing to parents I've ever had.

"Why don't you stay here, tonight? I have an extra bedroom, and you wouldn't be intruding."

He hesitated a second, before nodding. I gave him a reassuring smile and started toward his room for the night. He was close on my heals a few seconds later. I opened the door, and checked to make sure everything was okay. I didn't use the room often, I had four bedrooms. I had changed the sheets the day before, almost in anticipation of someone coming and staying. He paused before going into the room.

"You and John are not like me and Eleanor. You've got something different altogether."

He hesitated a moment before shutting the door. I moved out and heard a thank-you before the click of the door and lock. I wandered back into the living room and kitchen, turning off the lights as I went. I turned on the light in the hallway, just in case he needed to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I finally got to my own bed, and as I peeled my clothes off, his comment began to sank in. Did we compare ourselves to them? Is that what he was implying? Or was he trying to tell me something I'll only get a few years later, when we've both fully gone our separate ways. I crawled into bed, the sheets warm and inviting against my ravaged body. The thinking would have to wait, I can't think anymore about him, about what Jack said. I don't want to. If I start now, I won't stop all night.