Author's Notes:: Reviews make me smile... So thank you to everyone's who has sent me one.. It makes me feel motivated to keep writing... Well I was bored early this morning, and I checked how many pages I had written so far.. I'm on 31 pages, single spaced, 12 Times New Roman.. So there is alot to come.... And I hope you guys like it... And well this chapter... Well just read and enjoy... Then review... Please?!?

I'm stuck sitting at home, alone, for the sixth month in a row. I know people have volunteered to set me up on dates, but I don't want any of it. I've gone through enough boyfriends to last me a lifetime, and two failed marriages make me believe love isn't real. I mean I have nothing left to do but find a nice retirement community and sit back and relax. Well never mind, I still have a few more years in front of me. I should get myself a dog. That would be a nice stress-reliever. But then again, I would have to walk it, and clean it, and feed it. I don't need more work. I flipped through all the channels, and nothing good is on. I've gone through all the magazine's I have, and found nothing but overpriced items that look crazy. I finally gave in to reading one of my daughter's cheesy romance books. If only romance like Antonio and Carmen was real. Those books were oodles of crap, and I actually read one of them. I don't mind some romance novels, the ones that are more down to earth. I throw the book back onto the coffee table and lay down on the sofa, turning on a channel that plays jazz music. I should light some candles, pour myself a glass of wine, and relax. Of course, my pager can't read my mind, and it has different plans. It scares me half to death, when it vibrates and beeps loudly against the coffee table. It's new and I still cant' get used to it. I turn toward the screen and see the ER's number, along with the message 911. It's urgent. If their calling me in tonight, they're crazy. I just worked a 36 hour shift. I shouldn't even be working a 36 hour shift. I'm an attending. This is not fair. I grab my phone from the table next to me, and quickly dial out the number I got the page from. I hear the phone ring, and Frank answers it. I quickly mumble something about a page and me being off. I hear the line click, and a mess of trauma noises looms, and Susan's voice.

"Abby, get down here. Carter's having a heart attack... Damn it, charge at 200. Ab, hurry."

I felt the phone drop from my hand, the annoying tone playing in the background. The world sort of stopped moving, the clock's not ticking. I grab my keys and purse on impulse, leaving the rooms with the power on, not caring. He can't die. He cannot die. I make it to my car, the hospital is only ten minutes away. I need to get there, and he needs to be alright. He needs to be alive. This is probably some sick, cruel joke Susan's playing to get us back together. I don't know. I pull out onto the street, stepping on the gas, flowing through lights. Thank god its late and the streets aren't full. Please, just please, be okay.

I see the hospital in the distance, making my way closer and closer, every second dragging out for eternity. I pull up, leaving the car to the side of the ambulance bay. I don't care if it gets towed, I don't care about anything anymore. I just want to see him, I want to be with him, I want him to be alright. I don't care if he hates me and doesn't ever want to see me again, I need to know he's okay. I rush through the doors, pushing my way, shoving little old ladies and men. I don't care. I rush toward trauma one, and I see him lying on the slab of metal, Susan holding a pair of defibrillators to his chest. She's screaming out orders to everyone in the room, the residents are running around franticly. She spots me through the doorway, I don't even know how I got so close. She gives me a fearful look, mixed with somewhat of an apologetic one. I want to go in there and help, but I know they'll kick me out as soon as humanly possible. So I can't do anything. I'm a doctor and I can't do anything but watch my husband die.

I stare at the screen, watching the lines on the screen scroll flatly along. Suddenly, as if by my will, they start to hike up and down. More and more of them, until it becomes a steady stream. He's stable. He's stable. For the moment. Only for the moment. But he's alright, he's going to pull through. He has to, his five kids need him. They love him. I need him. I lean against the cool tiles of the hallway, and Susan steps out of the doorway. She walks closer to me and pulls me in for a hug. I don't' know if she's comforting me, or I'm comforting her. I don't think it matter at this point.

"We managed to get him back, but it's bad, Abby. He may never wake up."

The words out of her mouth didn't register. They simply didn't. I left the babbling blonde idiot alone. He was going to be just fine. He had a stable rhythm. He was breathing, of course by the aid of a ventilator, but he was still breathing. He needed to stay alive. If not for me, then for everyone else who loved him.