Author's Notes: Thank ya for the reviews!!!! I'm sorry I haven't updated but the servers were down on So yeah... But here's chapter seven... Enjoy!!! I think I'll double post today... To make up for yesterday? Sound good? Hehe... Please review when you're done!!! And I think Kat's working on her fic, the companion piece to this, Finding the Truth... Okay, done babbling....

Six weeks, six weeks I've devoted my life to not leaving this hospital. I've only gone home to grab some clothes and take a shower. I don't know why I'm still doing this, why any of us are doing this. We should have taken him off the respirator. I would have recommended that to my patient's families weeks ago. But we're not. The kids refuse to, although Jack has the final say. That's why I'm heading up there for the second time today. I've stopped spending time there. I would wait a few minutes for Amy to leave, and then I would go back downstairs and sleep. The nurses know what's happening, and they've been helping me out. Susan's telling me to talk to them, to tell them to get on with their lives. I have tried, but they won't listen. I hear the elevator open and I walk out, I don't think about my actions anymore. I just do them. I squeak down the hallway in my rubber soled shoes, I send a forced smile to the nurses sitting around the desk. I've gotten to know quite a bit of them, and they are all pretty nice. I've spent way too much time here, I've even saved a patient or too. Then I simply gave up. I would only be there for my kids, and as soon as everyone left, I would leave too. There was no point in me tearing myself apart for him. He wasn't coming back.

I see Jack's figuring standing outside the door, his head is in his hands. I know this has been hard on him too. He already lost one son to leukemia, now he's watching his other son stay on a ventilator. He hasn't moved from Chicago since we found out. He's staying at my apartment, along with Millie and Ethan. They have gotten pretty close. I sent Amy off to school to finish her semester, but she came back as soon as possible. Rob's been hanging around, since he finished his classes as well. Jack stayed in Boston, but called every day to find out if there was anything new. Our lives revolved around him, or what used to be of him. He was a corpse, nothing more. An inanimate object. Sure he was breathing, his organs were still working, but he was gone. We needed to give up and move on. We need to learn how to let go.

I walk up to Jack, and he pulls me into a hug. We stand there for a while, knowing that this would be the end. He was warm against me, although his body had shriveled. No one had been eating, nothing had been going on. Our lives were on hold, and I vowed never to do that again.

"Dad, you've got to take him off. It's been six weeks, how long are we going to be flogging him for?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders, looking at Amy, Ethan, and Millie sitting around his bed. I run my hand over his back, thinking of how I would do this with a patient. I've fully lost that connection with him, he's just a patient to me, nothing more. He's a name on a chart, a body on a bed, a family that needs to let go.

"One more week, Abby. Just one more week."

I nod my head, let him have one more week. It doesn't matter. The DNR has been signed, so if he arrests, we will be unable to do anything. I'm not going to revoke it, either. I wouldn't want my family watching me suffer. My family would be the one suffering more than I was anyway. God, I have no clue how I spent over twenty years with him. It doesn't seem like we have ever been in love, or we once couldn't spend a moment apart from each other. I hate him. I really do, for putting all of us through this. He's stringing us along, trying to punish me, but punishing his whole family instead. I hear the nurse announce visiting hours are over, this would be my cue to usher everyone out, and take over the post, since I have privileges, but I'm not going to. I watch everyone kiss him, caress him, love him. They slowly make their way out to the elevator, as I slip into the room. The lights have been dimmed, and his body is green from the screens. I'm used to this already, he always looks like this when I'm around.

"You're an asshole, you know that? How did we ever manage to sit in the same room, much less share the same bed? I have no clue how I ever managed to convince myself I loved you."

I slam the chart into the holder in the front of his bed, and make my way toward the door. I'm sick of dealing with all of this. He's stolen over twenty years of my life, he's not taking any more. I can't deal with him, I can't keep doing this. He's like my mother, only worse. I could always get rid of my mom, but I can't get rid of him. I have kids with him. I'm not strong enough to pretend everything's going to be just fine, and he'll wake up in a few hours, or days, or weeks, or years. I just can't do that. I know the truth, and I think its time everyone faced it. I'm not giving up on him, I'm just being realistic. I wave to the nurses as I walk out. They know the drill, page me if something happens. I'm going downstairs to get something to drink, then I'm going to bed. I need to sleep. I haven't slept in hours.

I make my way past the lounge, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. I walk by and tell Frank to wake me ten minutes to seven, so I can start my next shift. I head toward the suture room, which has become like my second bedroom. I haven't slept in my own bed in weeks. I push the door open and lock it behind me, it's a reflex I have since a while ago, when I almost got choked to death by some psycho patient. I walk closer to the bed, when I hear someone croak out my name, I look closer and see Luka lying on the bed across the room. I divert my course, and walk closer to him as he sits up, making room for me on the gurney.

"Is it still slow outside?"

I nod my head and take a sip from my bottle. The funny thing is, I'm more comfortable around Luka than I was around Carter. I don't know why. He's always been there when I've needed him, I could always depend on him. I want to believe its only because that's the type of person he is, but something underneath my skin keeps telling me he still feels something for me, even after all this time. I don't know what to make of it. I look at him, he looks tired, but okay. He lets out a small laugh and a mumbled "What?" comes from him.

I act almost on impulse, something unknown and unfeeling. I can't control it. My lips meet his, delicate and light. I can feel his surprise under the kiss. His hand has found its way to the back of my neck, as my hand trails along his chest. He breaks away for a second, and I can't see his face in the dark room.

"Abby, this is wrong..."

"So stop me."

I lean in again, and he doesn't do anything but kiss me back. My hands run over his body, the kisses from him haven't changed. Their always passionate, he's always passionate. The one thing I could always count on. I never thought I would turn to him, it's not just for the sex. Its something I've wondered about ever since I broke up with him, I just can't bring myself to figure out what it is. I don't know if it's a regret, if I had stayed with him? If I had gone back with him? Would we have ended up together? How differently would my life had turned out? I probably would have had a lot more passion than Carter. I might have been happier. I don't know anymore. All I can feel is his hands skimming over my body, pulling my bra off under my shirt, his mouth sucking on my bare flesh. Flesh that hasn't been touch in months. I need this, probably as much as he does. It's wrong. It's very wrong, but neither one is going to stop us. I'm divorced, but I should know better than to have sex with a married man. We'll keep it a secret, something no one needs to know about. We've never done this before, we shouldn't be doing it now. I don't care. To hell with it all. I'm divorced, and my ex-husband is going to die within a few weeks. We'll move on. We have to, there is no other option.

He holds my head as he lowers my head onto the gurney. Please, just this one time. This one sanity-saving time.