Author's Notes: I hate boys. Okay so explain this to me.... He tells me I shouldn't wait for him, that I should move on with my life... So he's pretty much saying he feels nothing for me... So yesterday... I'm giving him the mean silent treatment... All day! Then after school I'm walking toward my locker, he's walking out the door... He comes back after me... Why?! If he feels NOTHING for me, why the hell did he come back? I hate men. Synonymous with morons... Okay enough for my complaining and on to the chapter... Enjoy! And please review? Make me smile?!

So I vowed never to come here again, but it's been about a week and a half and Millie wants to see her father and her grandfather. I'm stuck taking her because she cannot drive, and I want to see Jack. I haven't talked to him in a while and I wanted to see how he's holding up. I pull into the driveway and turn the car off, leaving it by the door. The grounds were wet, it had rained like crazy the last few days, but today the skies were clear. I get out and pull my sunglasses up. Millie starts running toward Jack, who had just come out of the house. I follow her, although I'm not running. I've seen Jack so many times I know what he looks like. I reach him in my own time, and I lean over, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi dad."

He gives me a warm embrace, and then returns his attention back to Millie. Millie's closest to Jack, and I'm so afraid of the day he passes, because it will hit her harder than anything ever has. But for right now, he's not letting anything get in his way. He's active and he loves his grandchildren, and his children. I see Carter slip out the door and Millie walks over to him, somewhat awkwardly, and gives him a hug and a kiss. I hear him mumble a greeting, and he called her sweetheart. He always called her that. I don't know, maybe his memory is coming back. I look back at them, and that becomes doubtful. He's still really uncomfortable around her, and she can feel it. She moves back toward Jack, and he goes inside.

"How is he? Is he gaining any of his memory back?"

"Not really, he's doing things out of habit, but if I ask him about it, he has no recollection. He's still getting lost in the house. I would think it would get better, but it only seems to be getting worse."

I shrug my shoulders, sometimes things have to get worse before they get better, but I don't know if this will be one of those times. I look out around the grounds, skimming the trees and grass. It looks pretty nice, if the soil wasn't mud and more mud. Jack begins to pull the keys out of my grasp, and I give him a little struggle before I let go. He lets out a little laugh, and I instantly regret giving him the keys.

"My favorite granddaughter and I are going out for ice cream, we'll be back in an hour or so."

I watch them head off to the car, whispering something between themselves and laughing. I have this horrible knot in my stomach. He has five cars in the garage but he has to take mine. And I'm stuck here with the last person on earth that I want to be with. Its too late to do anything because they just pulled away and sped down the driveway toward the gates. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. I turn around and head into the house, I'll grab a drink from the kitchen and sit out on the deck until they get back. Or I could go to the stables and check up on the horses, although our groundskeeper takes very good care of them. I walk through the empty house, making my way toward the back patio. I heard movement in the kitchen, so I decided against my drink. As I walk toward the doors, I had to stop by the den. I mean the doors were wide open, pictures, boxes, letters, cards, everything was strewn across the room. It looked like a tornado had gone through the room, and I had to walk in. Every single photo album we have was out, little gifts, cards made in school from our kids to us, everything was out. Every table, desk, chair, and mantel was covered. I walk toward the main marble table, because some bright pictures caught my eye. Their pictures of the kids, but I"m in some of them with Carter.

I hear him enter behind me, but he instantly freezes. I hear his breathing speed up, but I don't really care at this point. He's trying to piece his life together, picture by picture, video by video, letter by letter. I don't know how successful he will be. He'll never know the truth. I pick up the first picture I see, and instantly I feel a small grin forming on my lips. I had some good memories with our kids.

"This picture, it was taken on Amy's second birthday. We had about twenty people over that day, the twins were only a few months old, and we had complete chaos. Everything was going wrong. Then one of the boys started to cry. I think it was Jack. He's always the troublemaker. But he woke up Rob, so you took him. The big mistake we made was we left Amy alone in the kitchen. She manage to maneuver her way to the counter. When we got to her, she was covered in chocolate cake. I gave you Jack, and I wanted to pick her up, but she threw cake at me. I finally managed to get her, but at that point, I looked worse than Amy did. That's when your father snapped the picture. So we had no cake, Amy and me needed to take a bath, two crying baby boys, and twenty guests outside. It was hell on earth."

I put the picture back down, skimming the rest of them. We had some really funny times. I can see Carter out of the corner of my eye; he's leaning against the doorframe, simply watching me. A little smirk was on his face. I haven't even thought about all the good memories in a long time. They usually get pushed to the back burner, we concentrate on the bad things, never the good things. I pick up another picture, Rob and Jack covered in mud.

"This one... This one was quite the adventure. The boys were just hitting puberty, I think they were around fourteen. Jack had a crush on this girl in his class, some cute brunette named Kathryn. Jack was a real womanizer then, too. I have no clue where he got that from. But the girl didn't like him. She couldn't stand him, she liked Rob. I think she was Rob's first girlfriend, but I can't remember. I know she was his first kiss. So we had the boys fighting over this girl for almost three weeks, until they finally snapped. We went out riding, and Jack thought Rob was trying to push him off his horse. And Jack being Jack, he pushed back. They ended up in the middle of a mud puddle, wrestling each other to death. We seriously thought they were going to hurt each other, so we pulled them apart. You were just standing there laughing, I think you took this picture."

I start to put down the picture, when his voice lets out across the room.

"So what finally happened?"

"I don't remember for sure, but I think the boys finally made up when Jack found some other girl to hit on."

I put the picture back where I had taken it from. I move over to the coffee table by the couch. I sit down, and I pick up the photo album on the side of the table. I can't remember the last time I had actually pulled out any of the pictures we took. We kept on taking them and taking them, but we never really looked through them. I guess we were saving them for when all the kids left us and forgot about us. I don't know. Pictures deceive, but for right now, I'm letting them deceive me. I hear Carter's footsteps on the wooden floor as he makes his way closer to me. He sits down on the couch, giving me distance. I put the album down in the middle of us, and I open to a page. I always have the best stories about Jack, he always made our lives interesting.

"This was the first Christmas after the twins had gone off to college. Rob stayed in state, but Jack went off to Yale in Boston. We begged him to come, but he said he didn't want to because his girlfriend at the time didn't have anyone to spend Christmas with. So we told him to bring her along. We thought she would be some innocent, unsuspecting, naive, petite blonde who was charmed by him. We were dead wrong. And to make matters worse, your mother and father were joining us. So the two of them show up, a few hours before dinner. She wasn't blonde, first off. She was some gothic chick, and she almost gave your mother a heart attack. She had long hot pink hair, black makeup, lipstick, the works. She had these like ragged black clothes and this incredible unnatural pale white skin. I haven't even gone into talking about piercing. My god, that girl had almost every part of her face pierced. We were so happy that relationship did not last long."

We both let out a strained laugh at the end. I close that album, and put it back on the table. I reach for the box by my feet, taking out another photo album. I open it and flip through it, pictures from the beach, the vacations we took. We lived such a great lie for all those years, anyone who picked up these pictures would never suspect that we barely talked, that we forced the sex, that we pretended to love each other. I keep flipping through the pages and Carter scoots closer to me to get a better view. I'll occasionally throw in a comment on the pictures, but we mostly sit in silence, letting our eyes figure out the situations. We have a very photogenic family. As we go through the albums, the closer we get to the earliest days. I reach the last album in the box. It's worn and tattered, pictures begin to fall out of it.

I push them back inside and open the book slowly. Pictures of me and John from the early days fill the first few pages. Some from the pier when we went dancing when my brother came around. I remember because that's the time I found out he was bipolar. I hate my family. There are some pictures of me and John from the Christmas party, they were given to me while he was off in Africa. That was a really bad time, that was the beginning of the end. But that was the only time I felt alive, I felt real, I felt happy. I believed him when he told me wasn't' going anywhere. I was stupid. I don't know what to think of anymore. I know the smile on my face is from genuine and true love, something I had begun to feel for the first time ever. But that doesn't matter. All good things end, especially love. It is never forever, no matter what anyone says, no true love ever lasts.

I keep turning, skipping a majority of the pages, I don't want to go back and think about what we went through. I don't want to remember, because I don't want the false hopes. I"ve held on to too many false hopes, and its not good for me. I open up randomly to a full page photo of our wedding. I'm in a flowing white gown, the wedding every little girl dreams of in her future. It was an elaborate occasion, since the Carter family was well known and respected. They gossiped about who I was and where I came from, I know half of them didn't approve. Jack approved, Eleanor didn't. Eleanor didn't have much of a say, she hadn't been in Carter's life to make a difference. The wedding was the wedding, I blocked out most of it over time. I thought it was the happiest day of my life, but I slowly realized over time, it had been the biggest mistake. I slam the book shut, throwing it back into the box. Jack and Millie are back. I get up as quickly as I can, Carter's body too close to mine.

I run out of the room, greeting Jack and Millie. I force a smile and he throws my keys back at me. I want to get out of there so badly. I want a night to myself. I just need to be alone. I slow my pace down so I don't throw any suspicion to what may have happened or how I'm feeling. I give Millie a kiss, and walk over to Jack to do the same.

"Okay Millie, we better get going. You were supposed to be at Katie's half an hour ago for that sleep over."

She says her goodbye to Jack, then screams out a departure to Carter, who was still in the den. Millie takes my keys and starts toward the doors. She starts pulling me toward them as Jack lets out a laugh.

"I'll call you tonight."

He nods his head and I see him turn toward the den as I continue to be dragged to my car. Millie's spending the night at her friend Katie's, so I'm lucky enough to get the place to myself. I have a long, relaxing bath planned as soon as I get home. Although I have this really bad feeling I'm not going to get any sleep. Another feeling tells me the tears that I've been holding in will slowly fall as I realize I'm alone in the dark.