It's sad I tell you!! Could this next element be the end of Shuichi's amnesia? Could this element be the last of Erika? Could this element be the last element?? Oh! The horror! The horror!!!

Disclaimer: I already said that I already disclaimed everything I needed to disclaim.

Rating: Uhm… You be the judge… I've been getting complaints that I'm too damn wholesome for my own good…

Note: This might probably be the last time Eri will be present… so I guess you guys can rejoice now… I won't say anymore… :( Just… just… read and review okay?… :(

Probably my longest chapter yet…

ELEMENT 8:

Guiltiness

Guilt has been wrenching Yuki's heart for the past days.

Why did he always have to treat Shuichi like some piece of trash, when he knew deep inside that he loved the singer with all his heart?

The phone rang, echoing in the darkness and emptiness of the apartment.

Yuki decided days ago to operate the answering machine, although it was kinda annoying at first— he sort of gotten used to it after a while.

The answering machine said its line and Yuki listened carefully.

"Eiri," said a voice Yuki recognized as her editor, "you haven't released your winter story yet. Don't ruin the timing Eiri— it's only a few days 'til Christmas… people would want to buy romantic winter stories and stuff like that. Do you hear me Eiri? Please call me tomorrow… alright?"

Yuki sighed.

There had been a time when he celebrated Christmas… but it was a very long time ago, when his youngest sister, Rei, was still in Japan. But these days, he didn't feel like Christmas was worth celebrating. Screw Christmas stories! What would Christmas be without the one you love most?

'Only a few days left,' she thought miserably as she washed the dishes, 'what am I to do now?'

"Hey," said Shuichi as he entered the kitchen, "I should be the one doing the dishes! You already cooked!" He pried a plate out of Eri's hands and started attacking it with a soaped sponge.

"No… really," said Eri, trying to wrench the plate from the pink-haired ball of energy, "I'm almost done…"

"No, you should rest, you're getting pale…" insisted Shuichi.

For a second, their fingers touched; making Eri blush and release the plate.

"I don't want to," said Eri softly, looking as thought she was about to cry. 'If this won't work— nothing will.'

Shuichi looked at her carefully then sighed. "Okay, I give up," he said, raising his hands in a sign of surrender, "you do what you want… but I'm cooking dinner after my nap."

Eri nodded slowly and continued on her chore.

Eri took out a magazine from her bookshelf.

She had always wanted to read that particular issue, but never actually got around to doing it. (It was an article on Shindou Shuichi.)

She sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor of her tidy living room, hoping that Shuichi hadn't woken from his nap yet.

Eri read with immense interest as she browsed through his profile. She noticed that the words 'strawberry pocky' and 'Yuki' were repeatedly mentioned.

'Hmm… It seems he became more confident sharing about Yuki Eiri ever since the media-at-their-apartment-fiasco,' she thought, furrowing her brow as she read on, 'that's odd… they're supposed to be living together… So how come…?'

Her mind briefly replayed the incident about five days ago…

'Shuichi was alone when I almost hit him with my car,' she thought, 'what the hell could have happened to him and Yuki?'

She was pondering on the ambiguity of the situation, when a voice suddenly interrupted her concentration.

"Erika-chan."

"Oh, Shu-chan," Eri said, smiling slightly as she swiftly chucked the magazine out of sight.

"I'd like to prepare dinner now…"

"Oh. Right," Eri said, clapping her hands together, "groceries! I'll be right back okay?"

"Okay," Shuichi said, noticing the tip of the magazine protruding from under the table.

Eri hadn't noticed this, for she was already on her feet and headed for the door.

Eri stopped a few feet from the department store entrance, she couldn't comprehend why there were so many people gathering in front of the magazine/newspaper stand.

'Must be a celebrity,' thought Eri, as she tried to make her way through the thick crowd..

Eri made her way to the very center of the crowd and found herself face-to-face with the legend himself.

"Ooh! Ooh! Erika-san!" said Ryuichi said, excitedly grabbing her arm and pulling her towards him.

Eri blushed. She didn't want this to happen. She only wanted to find out what was going on.

The crowd murmured in interest. "Isn't she Taka Erika?" "The model?" "I thought she was still in America…"

"Come Erika-san," said Ryuichi, his eyes glinting playfully, "let's talk in my apartment… it's been a while…"

"Look Ryuichi-san… I…I have some groceries to do…" said Eri, trying to unhook Ryuichi's arm from hers. 'I don't want to go back to the time when we were close… I can already feel their death stares…'

"You're so meeaaaannn…" said Ryuichi tearfully. He looked as though he was about to cry. A complete transformation from the charming Ryuichi she knew in America. He was… well… pitiful. It was too much for Erika to bear…

"Alright, alright. We can talk… but only for a few minutes before your fans pound me to mush…"

Shuichi read through his profile with much perplexity.

He was supposed to be (since he wouldn't believe it until Erika confirms it) the lead vocalist of a band named Bad Luck and one of the most sought-after guy in Japan, next to Sakuma Ryuichi.

'It doesn't make any sense,' said Shuichi to himself, 'Erika never mentioned any of this to me… even that I have a best friend named Hiroshi… and a— a lover by the name of Yuki Eiri, a novelist… and he… he…'

There were thoughts forcibly inserting themselves into his mind… sad memories… like some distant dream… But then again, it didn't feel like the thoughts were his at the first place… but somehow, it seemed— real… and…

He shook his head forcefully, as if doing it would shake out the confusion and chaos in his mind right now.

He then regretted doing it (the forceful shaking of head thing), because he immediately dizzy and collapsed.

"Please sit down, Erika-san," the serious Ryuichi said, as he sat opposite her.

"Look, Ryuichi… about the thing in America…" started Eri, but wasn't able to continue because Ryuichi cut her off.

"You were right, Erika-san… I was wrong… I shouldn't have forced you to be my friend because of what people might have said about us…"

"Demo… You were hurt, I shouldn't have said the things I said… I shouldn't have…"

Ryuichi leaned forward, looking at Eri's eyes. He just stopped when his face was only a few centimeters away from her face.

"You're still sick, Erika-san?"

Tears started forming in Eri's eyes.

"Yes…"

"How much time do you have left?"

"How did you…?"

"I asked your mother, na no da," Ryuichi said, suddenly becoming the bunny-loving energetic boy a few minutes ago, "she said you don't like her, na no da… She said you want to run away from home…"

Then he suddenly became serious again. "Tell me. How much time do you have left?"

"Only until the end of the winter…"

"You shouldn't resist treatments by doctors, Erika-san…"

"I… I don't think that I have the will to live anyway… I.. I don't have anything to keep me here…"

"How about Ryu-chan?" he asked hopefully, "Ryu-chan will pay for your treatment and Kumagoro will help! Kumagoro has money too!!"

"No… Ryuichi… this is something I have to face alone… I'm sorry… I do cherish the friendship you gave me… and I appreciate the offer…"

Eri stood up, ready to leave.

"Erika…" Ryuichi stood up, grabbed her arm, forced her to face him and looked at her straight in the eye, "I… I…"

Well, Eri never knew what Ryuichi was, because at that very moment, she collapsed unto his arms.

It was already dark when Shuichi woke up.

"I… I now remember… everything," he said to himself as he looked at the magazine, which lay on the floor beside him.

Then, he noticed the clock on the wall… It was already eight…

'Where is Eri? She said she'd be back before dinner…'

Ryuichi immediately called in his good friend and physician, Dr. Suguru.

He hugged Kumagoro tightly, as he looked at Eri's pale face.

"Everything's going to be okay…" Ryuichi assured Kumagoro, "she'll be fine… Don't worry too much about her, Kuma-chan…"

"How long has she stopped going to rehabilitation?"

"I… don't know. But I'm guessing two or three years ago…"

"That would explain why she's in this— fragile— condition. Ryuichi, please make sure that she's not stressed in any way… and…" Dr. Suguru wanted to tell Ryuichi the truth— that Eri was incurable— but couldn't find it in his heart to dismay the usually-cheerful boy.

"And…?" Ryuichi asked earnestly. 'Please don't tell me she's dying… there's so many songs we haven't sung… so many games we haven't played… so many things I haven't said…'

"And… be sure to contact her family… they might be worried about her not returning home…" he couldn't look at Ryuichi in the eye. He wanted so much to tell Ryuichi not to worry, but he felt like it would be lying, so he just left without another word.

Ryuichi looked at the doctor, nodded, but didn't say anything. 'He didn't tell me that she'll be fine… He didn't even say that I shouldn't worry at all…'

Does that mean she's really going to die?

It was already nine o'clock when Shuichi's worry increased.

He knew that there was a possibility that Eri was just so caught up with her shopping… but then again, there was a sick feeling at the pit of his stomach— and instinct told him that something horrible has happened.

The phone rang.

Shuichi almost jumped out of his skin.

He ran to the phone, and picked it up, assuming (actually, hoping) that it was Eri… but it wasn't.

"Hello?"

"Sa-sa-sakuma-san?" Shuichi was now trembling. 'Darn it… how did he know I was here?'

—end of element—

note: Okay… I guess it's safe to stop here. :) Please read and review…

rant: Aargh! I hate the way it's going… I was supposed to end the complications here… and element 9 was supposed to be the last… but then… the characters were so hard to manipulate… aargh! I'm not sure whether it's a good thing or not but whatever it is… TELL ME!! Please… I'm utterly confused right now…