Damn writer's block! I know it sucks but this was the best I could come up with… but… sobs Sorry if this whole story isn't focusing solely on Yuki and Shuichi— I just thought that you guys might like it if there wasn't too much Yuki and Shuichi thingies, which are getting a tad tedious … they have the next elements all to themselves anyway… so don't worry ne?

I finally realize why the original gravitation supposedly starred Ryuichi— it's because it's pretty easy to obsess over him ne? Hehe… Just look at me… raving like a Ryuichi fan girl!

Good news: I will be posting my element 12 sometime within the week… and I am planning to finish this before the snow actually stops… :)

Disclaimer: I guess you guys have read so many fan fictions, you know the drill already… Clears throat I DO NOT own Gravitation and all the rest of the characters… However, some songies or new characters are mine… I guess that's about it… enjoy. :) So do not steal my Taka family from me, k?

Rating: Nope… won't tell… I don't know how to rate… but then again the whole story is rated R… :) Maybe not in this particular element though… Sorry to disappoint… :)

Note: This is a story revolving around Erika and Ryuichi… To make people understand what they went through three years ago… you will see this: before a flashback and this: ::::: after… Oh yeah… I'm not sure of the names of Ryuichi's family members… so I just made them up! :)

ELEMENT 11:

(a sub-story)

Part 2: Weakness

THREE YEARS AND SIX MONTHS AGO…

Eri stared at the ceiling as she thought about the doctors and their stupid diagnosis. She knew that they were right: she needed the operation… but she also discerned that she had her limitations. Her irrational fear of blood and blood loss was one of her said boundaries.

'The operation might be lifesaving… but it would only prolong my suffering…' she had told Ryuichi that morning, 'I don't want them playing and tinkering with my insides Ryu-chan…'

'Me neither,' Ryuichi had agreed.

Once alone in her room, Eri pulled out her notebook and started writing.

"It's been six months… and the snow that I saw the first time I was here is nowhere to be found. Of course, I already noticed the disappearance since spring— but summer just had a way of making you forget that this place actually experiences winter… Okay… Bickering…"

"Anyway… I some of my friends from Japan called me this morning. They said that they saw the show last night (which was televised in the morning) and they thought it was cool that I had the famous Nittle Grasper singer for a friend (it was a modeling show, where I got to have Ryu-chan as an escort…). I didn't know how to react, so I just merely laughed and told them it was no big of a deal… but deep in my heart— I feel overwhelming joy for having found Ryu-chan (he always insisted I call him that)… and Kuma too…"

"…I know that Ryui— Ryu-chan— has been sad for the past days. Although I've managed to make him smile, I don't think I've succeeded in making him happy… I guess he just misses Japan as much as I do… Sometimes, I can feel his sadness…"

She heard shuffling footsteps outside her door and immediately tucked her notebook inside her pillowcase. She placed her arms under her neck and stretched out on her large bed, continuing her hobby (staring at the ceiling, what else?).

"Erika-chan, it's Kumagurou," said a voice, interrupting her thoughts.

"It's open," Erika said simply, not bothering to make herself look presentable, still lying on her back, looking at the strange patterns she had painted with Ryuichi a week ago (he said it was to 'take her minds off her sadness'..).

"Hi…" said Ryuichi, bringing some fries and ice cream into the room, then sitting Indian-style on the floor next to her.

"Hey… how's the food?" asked Eri politely, plopping herself on her elbow and noticing the packages the singer was bringing.

"Yummy…" he said, "Kuma also shows his approval."

"hmm…" Eri approved as she dipped one fry in ice cream and placed it in her mouth, "Kuma has good taste…"

Ryuichi didn't respond. He just ate more and more until he heard Kumagurou complain. (Or at least, he said he heard the bunny speak…)

"Ryuichi… Ryu-chan?" asked Eri, noticing the solemn expression he had, "Is there something wrong?"

Ryuichi shook his head. "Nothing's wrong Erika-chan… but I would like to ask you the same question…" he said, looking into her bluish-green eyes, "is there something wrong?"

Eri managed to put on a brave smile. "I'm okay Ryu-chan…" she said. "Really," she put in hastily when she noticed Ryuichi frown a little.

"I'm okay…" she repeated.

If only she could convince herself.

K had noticed something different about the Nittle Grasper vocalist ever since their first arrival in America a few months ago. K had come to realize that there was something awfully— mature about Ryuichi… or maybe it was just that confusing spark in his eyes.

He shook his head a little before getting into the limousine and driving off to pick up a certain green-haired bunny-lover. He knew that the change was a good thing— it was showing how well Ryuichi has dealt with the situation…but he only hoped that the singer wasn't pretending to be happy…

He didn't know that what he dreaded was actually what was happening…

Ryuichi knew that people thought he was happy. He realized that every time he says "na no da" or any other weird things, everyone would think that everything was fine and dandy in Ryuichi-land.

But it wasn't.

Nothing was fine.

He half-expected Tohma and Noriko to come and visit or even call on his phone, but after the first five months, he gave up waiting. He should have guessed that they would immediately forget about him… he should've guessed that they wouldn't be bothered by his absence at all.

He fell into depression.

No one noticed. They didn't even recognize his fake smiles and phony cheerfulness as he continued doing what he was paid to do— singing and escorting models in their shows.

But Erika was a different story.

Erika was the best friend he ever had. She was funny, nice and sweet; and she never looked at him like he was a freak or a super star— she was different… entirely different.

He liked her very much, but he didn't want to get too attached to her. He just recently discovered, after a conversation with Kumagurou (yes, the pink bunny does talk— only not in public…only when no one else is listening…), that he was cursed and that everyone he cares for would disappear… just like his family and relatives…

He was afraid… that if he liked her too much, she would disappear as well…

Eri heard the limousine outside their door and ran "excitedly" (one has to pretend ne?) towards Ryuichi's room, stopping right outside the singer's door.

"Oy, Ryu-chan!!" she exclaimed "happily", knocking on his door a bit forcefully, "K-san's here!!"

She heard a crash, then something breaking, then hurried footsteps coming towards the door.

"What were you doing in there?" asked Eri, trying to peek into the room behind the slightly panting singer, "what are you hiding?"

"Nothing na no da!!!" said Ryuichi, blocking her view with Kuma's big head, 'it's a surprise for your birthday...' He bolted the door and then scrammed down the stairs, screaming "Race me! Race me!"

Eri started to follow the hyperactive Ryuichi, but suddenly stopped. She grimaced and cringed as she felt a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She keeled over and fell to the floor in a heartbeat.

Ryuichi turned around a bit to see if Erika was catching up to him or not. He was a bit frightened when he didn't see the black-haired model behind him. He ran up the stairs in a hurry, forgetting about their tardiness.

It was around noon when Eri finally came to.

The sun was already at its zenith, shining over the busy streets of New York and daunting the people to wear some protective gear over their heads. It was powerful these days… it was summer after all.

Eri blinked a couple of times before everything came into perfect focus. She felt Ryuichi's hand on her forehead as he checked her temperature.

"You were a bit hot this morning Erika-chan… you should not work today…" Ryuichi said, wiping Eri's forehead with a warm damp cloth.

"Why are you here? K-san must be really mad…" said Eri, holding Ryuichi's hand (the one with the damp cloth), stopping him from giving her a headache (he was scrubbing her head… the idiot…).

"K-san understood that I wanted a break na no da," he said, finally taking the hint, "Kuma-chan and I want to take care of Erika-chan!!"

"Are you sure Kuma-chan wouldn't mind?" Eri asked, amused at the thoughtfulness of the singer, "I mean… it's not exactly fun to take care of sick weaklings, ne?" She still felt lightheaded and a bit dizzy, but having Ryuichi there seemed to make her ignore the pain quite easily.

"Of course Kuma-chan doesn't mind!" Ryuichi said briskly, "Ryu-chan promised to do all the work… does Erika-chan want water? Soda? Coffee? Milk? CD? What does Erika-chan want?? Anou…"

Eri sighed and closed her eyes, letting sleep wash over her, "thanks Ryu-chan and Kuma-chan… I guess I just want to rest for a while…"

'I like taking care of her,' Ryuichi thought as he gently touched her forehead, and placed his pink bunny for Erika to hold, 'Erika-chan's just like Ryurie-chan...'

"Oniisan!!" Ryurie screamed, while flailing her arms wildly, "put me down!!"

"No…" Ryuichi teased, cackling unmercifully at his younger sister.

"I'll throw up on you," she threatened, emitting weird choking sounds and making funny faces, as if to confirm what she just said.

"Oh, alright… no throwing up," he said as he carefully put her down, "I'll tell mom you were drinking..."

"Eh? Drinking what?" she asked with a genuinely-confused expression.

Ryuichi laughed and shook his head. "Nothing," he said, running up the stairs and into their house.

"You evil brother you!!" Ryurie exclaimed, running after her brother and glomping him to the floor, "and I actually wanted to give you a present…"

"A puresento?" Ryuichi asked, mildly surprised, "what is it?"

"Open it!!" said the hyperactive girl happily, "I know it's a bit childish but you need a companion too ne? Take care of it for me na no da!!!"

"Sure," he said, pulling out a pink bunny and hugging it, "I'll take care of it for you…"

He slept on the couch that night, while Eri slept on his bed... alone. (Kuma was still with Erika…) Not that he minded of course.

But the couch had painful memories…

He was sleeping on the couch waiting for his family to come home. He wanted to see them the moment they got into the house since he missed them so much (and the couch was just beside the door…).

It was a winter day, many years ago. It was a dark night and there was so much snow around. He stayed home precisely because of that reason… (also the fact that he had "work" to do with Tohma and Noriko…)

His family left for Kyoto to visit a sick relative. They were a bit disappointed that he couldn't come, but they hid their emotions well and just bid him good-bye.

He awoke with a start, breathing a bit heavily and shaking all throughout his body. He took a deep breath and looked at the wall clock.

It was eleven thirty.

'They should have been here two hours ago,' he thought.

Twelve midnight.

He could hear the sounds of sirens and cars zooming past their house… and then the phone.

"Hello…" he greeted the caller.

"Ryuichi-san," the voice on the other line said, which Ryuichi immediately recognized Tohma's.

"Whaddya want?" he asked groggily, sitting up and stretching his limbs.

"Ryuichi-san… it's about your parents… and sister…" the keyboardist said slowly, hoping that Ryuichi wouldn't faint or do anything stupid.

"What about them?" the singer asked, his voice trembling with fear, "tell me Tohma! What happened?!" 'Oh no… it can't be… it was just a dream…'

"They are in the hospital… morgue…"

Ryuichi couldn't speak. He felt every nerve in his body grow numb, he forgot about the phone in his hand and dropped it on the floor. He placed both his hands on his face and sniffed.

A few moments later, his whole body was wracking with sobs.

He was angry— mostly with himself— devastated— mostly because he was the cause— and most of all, sad— because they cheated… they left without him…

He took the pink bunny Ryurie gave him and held it tight.

"Looks like we're the only ones left…"

Erika awoke with a start. She immediately sat up and searched for the sound that was continuously pulling her from her much-needed slumber. She cautiously approached a trembling Ryuichi, who was drenched in cold sweat (despite the fact that the room was air conditioned).

"Ryuichi…" muttered Eri, brushing a hand against the singer's forehead. She could see tears running down Ryuichi's cheek and the expression of hurt on his face. She picked up Kumagurou, placed the said pink bunny in the arms of its rightful owner, sat on the floor, leaned her head on the couch, willed the pain to go away and fell asleep.

—end of element—

L Jil: hehe! You have writer's block and I don't!!! sticks out tongue I can easily tell by how horrible this element has become…

Jwei Lih: you really don't have to rub it in you know… glares anyways… I don't see you writing anything…

L Jil: secret! I'm posting it later!

Jwei Lih: I need a doctor… /sniffs/

L Jil: want me to write your next element?

Jwei Lih: whatever… /sleeps/

L Jil: you're welcome… /laughs like a maniac while looking at sleeping figure/ yes! the next element's mine!! I didn't even have to drug her to get her to agree!