Title: Consequences
Pairing: Elliot / Olivia
Rating: PG-13, language and a much toned down scene at the end.
Summary: for every choice we make there is a consequence (sequel to CHOICES)
Consequences
by Sour-skittle13
"Still willing to kick my ass?" Odafin 'Fin' Tutuola asked, enveloping Olivia Benson in a spine-crunching hug.
It had been six months since her run in with Andrew Jackson and his gun, but this was Olivia's first day back at work.
She laughed lightly, "You'd think that after a three month coma and another three months on professional leave I'd be ready for anything!" Olivia pried herself out of her coworker's arms to hug his partner Detective John Munch
Fin chuckled, "I can pencil you in for lunch break tomorrow, if you want. That gives me time to practice my kung fu, no one's physically fought since your accident." He stated, watching his partner twirl Detective Benson around in a circle.
"That'd be great Fin," Olivia choked out, trying to locate him, while being spun dizzyingly. "If you can get me down from here I'll go easy on you!" the two detectives laughed as Munch set Olivia on the ground.
She put a hand to her head, trying to stop the slight pounding that had set on and punched Munch gently in the stomach. He smiled charmingly and went back to his desk, leaving Fin doubled over with laughter and Olivia feeling light-headed.
Cragen poked his head out of his door and stared at his detectives, "Munch, Fin, you aren't paid to goof off! Start some paperwork or something!" Fin let out another burst of laughter and Olivia walked towards the buzzing coffee machine.
"Is this coffee fresh Captain?" Olivia asked, filling a mug with the caffeinated drink and taking a long gulp. She watched the captain's face light up in surprise.
"My God Benson," Cragen muttered, jogging over to wrap his detective into a bear hug, "You could've called or something detective! Oh screw it; it's good to have you back!" Olivia smiled, hugging her captain, and tried not to spill her coffee down his suit.
Munch propped his feet up on his desk and smirked at Olivia, "I'm sure Elliot will be glad to see you too!" Cragen shot John a glare across the squad room.
"Don't you have paperwork Munch?" Olivia asked, her voice patronizing yet sugary-sweet. Scowling, Munch moved his feet and pulled out a couple of files, making a face at Olivia as he started to work.
Cragen smiled at his detective, "I've been trying to tell him that for the past three months, and you can say it in your first three minutes here! Amazing!" he shook his head a bit before opening the door to his office again, "Can you step inside for a moment please?"
She shrugged, "Sure thing cap!"
The door thumped shut behind Olivia and she involuntarily flinched at the sudden noise. She felt a slight throb in her stomach but she ignored it, the pain had been coming and going for the past three months, and the occurrences were becoming less frequent. Cragen motioned for her to take a seat and he did also, pulling a tan file folder onto the desk and opening it.
"I left you alone during your recovery Benson, but I'm going to need to take a statement from you," Cragen made eye contact with his detective and watched her slowly nod in agreement. "Can you tell me what happened?"
Olivia nodded again, and cleared her throat by coughing, "my partner, Elliot Stabler and I were sent down to Central Park, there had been a call reporting an armed man, I'm not exactly sure why we were sent after him but we were. When we got to the park, I had reason to believe that our perp had a hostage. I gave my gun to my partner and told him to hold on to it. We were connected by earpieces. We split up a little bit so that no one would think we were together. The man I found was holding Elliot's wife hostage and I attempted to negotiate with him. He made some comments on my body and Kathy Stabler lost her mind. She started yelling, saying El and I were having an affair. The armed man thought it would be fun to make Elliot choose between the two of us, I saw his hesitation and told him he had to choose Kathy, that his kids needed both of them. He did. The suspect kissed me then started talking to me, saying we were going to have fun, like he was threatening to rape me. I told him to shoot me instead. Elliot fired a gun shot somewhere, making the perp look away; his first shot missed my body but by then he was steaming mad. I thought I was going to die so I told Elliot I loved him, that's when he shot me through the stomach." Olivia paused to take a deep breath then continued, "I don't remember much after that, I know Elliot used his shirt as a pillow under my head, he used mine to clot the bleeding and Detective Tutuola offered his shirt too. Then I went to Mercy."
Cragen wrote the last little bit of her story down and gave her a weak smile. "Thanks Olivia." He pushed the file to the corner of his desk, "We saved the investigation of this guy's attempted murder for when you came back." He twirled a pencil between his fingers, "We want to find out what was wrong with him, and what made him shoot you."
Olivia smiled weakly, "okay cap," she used her hands to push herself up to stand and gave a small nod. "So do I get a lollipop or something for being such a brave girl?" Olivia joked, trying to push the attacking memories away. Cragen laughed weakly, knowing the thoughts that were pushing at his detective at that moment.
"Sorry," Cragen deadpanned, "the candy train is running slower than usual. Are you sure you're up to this investigation?"
"Cragen," Olivia said, half out of the Captain's office, "I've been ready since he held that gun to my stomach and decided to pull the trigger."
Olivia made her way slowly back to her desk, she had taken an aspirin this morning before coming into work, and was starting to feel the need for another. The doctors at Mercy Hospital all said she had healed well enough to go back to the streets if she wanted, and she was not about to tell them about the pain that kept coming back. The medical examiners had been tip-toeing on eggshells around her ever since an overdose of anesthesia sent her into a three month coma.
I don't need doctors, she thought, collapsing heavily into her chair. They just screw everything up! Olivia drained the last sip of coffee from her mug and shut her eyes for a moment, trying to ignore the clenching in her stomach. Lately, hot and cold foods had been harsh on her digestive system.
Captain Donald Cragen peered into the squad room again, trying to locate Olivia and Elliot; he sighed, and noticed that the later wasn't there.
"Benson, Fin," Cragen motioned for the two detectives not loaded down with paperwork, "I want you to pick someone up. Name's Sally Gorman age 10, mom's at work but this girl said she needed to talk to a police officer about a rape." The two detectives nodded and headed for their lockers, grabbing badges and guns, they slid into Olivia's car and pealed away from the precinct.
"Millington's Preparatory School" Olivia muttered, parking her car along the curb and slipping out with Fin.
He nodded, "and it's full of smart-ass rich kids who ain't going to help us with anything," Fin slammed the car door shut a little harder than necessary. Olivia just rolled her eyes.
Sally Gorman smiled at Olivia Benson and twisted the end of her coppery-brown hair in her small hand. She was a tiny girl, with naturally tanned skin and large brown eyes that stared into Olivia's almost mirroring them. Sally smoothed the pleats in her blue skirt, and scuffed her black mary-jane shoes along the floor.
She's exactly like me, when I was her age! Olivia thought, catching the girl's eyes again.
"What did you need to talk about Sally?" Olivia made sure her voice was soft and calm, not wanting to scare the girl. She certainly didn't seem like a rape victim.
Sally gave Olivia a familiar look, "I think my mom was raped by that man from Central Park." Her voice was steady, but betrayed a nervous edge.
"Central Park?" Olivia asked quietly, "You mean Andrew Jackson?" the young girl nodded carefully.
"She saw his face on TV and freaked out." Sally looked away from Olivia toyed with the end of her white, collared shirt.
Olivia nodded slowly, "Are you sure she was raped? Not just scared or nervous?" Sally looked at her defiantly.
"I'm a child of rape, my mom's an alcoholic and she was scared to death of this man! I swear it's him!" a small tear slid down the girl's cheek and Olivia felt her heart melt.
"Come here," she soothed, hugging the now sobbing girl in her arms, gently rocking the child in her arms.
Sally shuddered in Olivia's embrace before pulling away, "You wouldn't understand." She lightly brushed a tear away, "Besides, he looked like me."
"You're wrong!" Olivia whispered in the girl's ear, "I'm just like you!" she hugged Sally again before handing her a lollipop, "This is for being a very brave girl to tell me everything, but I'm sorry, your mom has to come talk to us for us to do anything about this."
Sally nodded and took Olivia's hand as they walked out of the interrogation room and into the precinct. She unwrapped her orange tootsie roll pop, and politely threw the wrapper in the trash can before turning to Olivia. Tugging on the sleeve of Olivia's shirt, Sally pointed to a man, standing by the lockers and staring at the pair in shock.
"Who's that?" she whispered, sticking the candy back into her mouth,
Olivia grinned, "That would be my partner," she waved at Elliot before walking the girl back to Fin, "This is Detective Fin, he'll drive you back to school, okay Sally?" the small girl nodded and Olivia gave her another tight hug. "Call me if you need anything!" the detective told the child, watching her grab onto Fin's hand and the pair leave the precinct.
Shooting a glance at Elliot Stabler, Olivia briskly made her way to Cragen's office. She tugged the hem of her blue, three-quarter sleeve shirt and paced the office in front of her Captain. Olivia was breathing raggedly, her stomach tensing in pain.
"Captain, I need to be allowed to talk to Ms. Gorman!" she paused to stare at Cragen, willing him to agree.
Her Captain matched her look and motioned for her to sit down, she declined, "Why do you need to talk to Ms. Gorman? Nothing happened to Sally, what would be your grounds for conversation?" Olivia jumped to her feet and leaned over the desk to glare at her commanding officer.
"That little girl says that our perp raped her mother and is her father!" she watched his reaction to this news, "I'm not letting this go!"
Cragen ran a shaky hand over his head and sighed, "Look Benson, you're a good cop. If she can id him we can warrant a DNA test from him. Don't pressure anything out of this woman! Got it?"
Olivia nodded and stormed from his office, feeling her adrenaline start to rush. She knew Elliot was watching her movements but she ignored him, still not ready to talk about their accident. She jogged to her locker and spun her combination, missing the numbers in her hurry to check out Sally's mother.
Elliot walked up beside her and gently grabbed her hands. He unlocked her locker for her and watched her grab a bottle of aspirin; she dry swallowed two pills and slammed the door shut, giving a curt nod to her partner. Olivia slipped out of the station house and walked to her car, looking a little bit startled when Elliot slipped into the passenger seat.
He gave her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "Where are we going partner?" he asked, buckling his seat belt and glancing at Liv.
She flinched when he tossed the term around and gave him a half smile as well. "OB-GYN!" she joked, watching his eyebrows shoot up before he laughed as well,
"Yeah right Liv! If you were going to the doctor you wouldn't have your gun and badge with you! Are you checking out that girl's mother?" he asked, poking through her glove compartment looking for a tissue.
Olivia nodded and started the ignition, changing gear and driving into Brooklyn. She turned onto a small side street and parked her car outside of a tall, brick building. Olivia and Elliot walked casually into the building and buzzed up to the apartment of Nancy Gorman. A young woman of about 29 or 30 opened the door, a half drained bottle of beer held in her hand.
Her words were slightly slurred, "Whothehellareyou?" she mumbled, obviously tipsy.
Olivia sympathetically smiled, "I'm Detective Benson and this is my p-partner Elliot Stabler. Can I talk to you about your daughter Sally?" Olivia didn't know why she tripped over the word partner but she did. Nancy Gorman nodded sloppily and let them into her pigsty of an apartment. Olivia helped the young woman to her couch and took the bottle of beer away from her, setting it on a counter laden with dirty dishes.
"Your daughter says she was a child of rape, Ms. Gorman!" Olivia murmured tensing in case the mother had a violent reaction to her words.
The woman nodded again, "Doesn't matterthough," she slurred, trying to enunciate clearly, "Thebastard's dead!"
Olivia smiled sadistically to herself, "Can you tell me your attacker's name?" she questioned, knowing that one name could get a DNA test for the perp who stole six months of her life.
"Andrew Jackson!" the alcoholic stated, as her door opened and Sally shuffled inside the apartment.
She seemed less cheerful; she looked like a tired old woman only four feet tall. Her uniform was neat, her shoes shined, hair brushed but the look in her eyes was the same that Olivia knew she had had at age ten. The girl dropped her backpack next to the door and slid her feet across the floor till she was standing behind her mother; she pulled Nancy's hair out of her face into a small ponytail and gave Olivia a small smile.
"Can you do something now?" she asked, letting a tinge of anger get into her eyes.
Olivia nodded, ushering Elliot out of the apartment and into her car, before driving back to the precinct for a DNA test. The ride was silent, Olivia stared at the road, and Elliot stared at her. He was willing himself to believe that his stupidity in sacrificing her life had caused no lasting damage. She looked the same, maybe a little paler, and a lot thinner, but basically the same, she still had the stubborn spark in her eyes that he loved so much.
"I'm sorry Liv," he whispered, not intending for her to hear anything.
She smiled softly, "Its fine Elliot, you did what you had to do! I respect your decisions!" she took her right hand off of the steering wheel to gently clutch his fingers in her own.
He squeezed back, bringing her hand to his lips to gently kiss her knuckles. "I thought I'd lost you Benson," he stated, letting go of her fingers.
"You're not that lucky!" she kidded pulling down the parking brake and turning off the ignition. They sat in silence, neither wanting to be the first one to leave the vehicle.
Elliot licked his lips, opening his mouth, "Liv, Sally is really getting to you! She's tugging at your heart and you have to be careful with this. Cragen will pull you off of the investigation if you get to attached, especially given the circumstances." He recoiled from her slightly; afraid she would lash out and say she wasn't attached to the girl. Olivia sat still.
Olivia sighed softly, and placed her head in her hands, "Her life is just like mine was." Cautiously, Elliot put a gentle, comforting arm around her back.
Olivia reacted to his touch, resting her head against his chest and letting the silent, shuddering tears fall into his shirt. He pulled her close, quietly rocking their bodies back and forth, listening to her heart pound against his.
Olivia heard her cell phone ring, but she didn't want to move to answer it. All she needed was a pair of strong arms to hold her and someone to tell her how important she was. Elliot reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the cell phone to look at the caller id. It was Cragen.
Elliot grimaced but answered the phone anyway, "Benson, Stabler speaking." He paused for a second, listening to the Captain and absentmindedly stroking his partner's coppery hair. "We just had some stuff to talk about! We'll be up in a second!" he closed her phone and Olivia moved her head from his body and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Captain saw your car and got suspicious when we didn't come in." Olivia nodded and stepped out of her car, locking the door after Elliot had scrambled after her.
The precinct was semi quiet, with Casey Novak talking to the Captain in his office.
Elliot knocked on the door and the detectives stepped inside to talk to their commanding officer. Cragen looked at the triumphant look in Olivia's eyes and nodded to the ADA.
He grinned, "We need a DNA test for the dead man that shot my best detective!" Casey ignored him, a look of shock apparent on her face as she smiled idiotically at Olivia Benson.
Casey nodded; her attention not on what the captain had just indicated. "You're back!" she grinned again "So I'm no longer the only woman among these crazy men!"
Olivia laughed lightly and pulled the ADA in for a small hug. "Sorry, I'm here to steal your spotlight!" Cragen watched the two women hugging in his office before he cleared his throat. His eyes met Elliot's and the two men shrugged, wondering why women were so sensitive. Casey, for example, was openly crying.
Enough was enough for Cragen, "Ladies," he tried again when they ignored his first try, "Ladies," Olivia finally pulled away to shoot him an exasperated look. "Now that I have your attention," Cragen dragged, ducking the playful slaps Liv and Casey both threw towards him. "We'll have results for your DNA test in a half an hour. We have no other leads, so go take a while for you Benson. Get reacquainted with your coworkers!"
Olivia looked slightly shocked, "When did you contact the med lab?" she questioned,
Cragen laughed, "When? I called while you and Casey were ignoring the rest of the world!" Elliot chuckled too, causing his partner to send him a dangerous glance.
"Thanks Captain," Olivia mumbled, making a face at the floor and walking calmly to the door.
Once back in the squad room, Olivia squealed, jumping around in circles before hugging both Munch and Fin, who had returned from dropping Sally off. Elliot had followed her out of their captain's office and was watching her. The jeans she was wearing accentuated the curves of her body as she moved, and her shirt was a deep red polo that highlighted the shimmer in her hair. Elliot watched her kiss Fin's cheek and twirl around to kiss Munch's cheek also. Those two kisses jarred Elliot's memory back to the kiss he had stolen from her right before the paramedics had arrived. Olivia's lips had been warm and comforting even though her blood had been spilling onto the ground. And she kissed me back! Elliot thought, feeling a small smile grace his mouth.
Fin stared at the woman dancing around the squad room, "What the fuck?" he asked glancing at Elliot.
"She got an id so we're getting a DNA test!" Elliot explained.
Fin nodded, "When do you get results?"
"30 bloody minutes!" Olivia stomped her foot before sitting heavily in her chair. "We want to see if he matches any previous closed cases."
"We knew that much Princess!" Munch grumbled, trying to hide behind his computer. "Hey Fin, how do you shoot the glob things?"
Fin rolled his eyes but stood to help his partner with the game. Elliot decided to take the opportunity to talk to Olivia. She was gently twisting her chair to the left and the right, her feet pulled underneath her, fingering a small picture. Elliot slowly walked toward her, sitting on a clean spot on her desk. Olivia shoved the picture into her pocket before glancing up inquisitively.
"Can we talk Liv?" his voice was breathy, nervous. Olivia nodded. "Are you feeling alright?" he spoke in a hushed tone, making sure that no one was eavesdropping on their conversation.
Olivia looked away, "I'm fine El," she took a deep breath, "How's your wife?" she struggled with the words, for the past three months she hadn't had to deal with her partner's love life or family, she was able to pretend they didn't exist. Talking about them made them much more real.
"Kathy isn't my wife anymore Liv!" Elliot said, so softly that she barely heard him.
When she finally looked him in the eyes, her face betrayed the shock that he knew she would feel. "Oh my God El," she said, pausing between each word. "I'm so sorry!"
Elliot shrugged, "I'm not!" he tried to avoid thinking about the comforting hand that Olivia had placed on his thigh.
"El, don't say things like that! You really loved Kathy!" Olivia searched his eyes, trying to find proof to back up her statement.
Elliot shook his head, "No, Liv. I fell out of love with her six years ago, when I met you! I just avoided the truth because I didn't want to hurt my kids." He placed his hand over the one she was resting on his leg when she tried to pull away.
"Liv," he placed his other hand under her chin and tilted her face so that he could look into her searching eyes. "She wouldn't call an ambulance for you and threatened to testify against me if I visited you at the hospital." She looked confused so Elliot decided to elaborate, "When I shot the perp, I shot three times and used your gun! There was a larger investigation to make sure that I shot only after he did. Kathy tried black mailing me and so she had to go!"
Olivia took a deep breath, trying to absorb all the information, Elliot leaned forward until he could feel her breath on his lips. It took all of his self control not to capture her perfect mouth with his, but Elliot held back, her hand had crept higher on his thigh when he leaned forward and it was turning him on.
Olivia's heart was pounding and her body felt like it was on fire. Her lips were centimeters from his and every time she took a breath his mouth got even closer. She closed her eyes, about to jump into hot water, desperately wanting to feel his tongue against hers. Elliot's eyes closed too and he was leaning in towards her when the phone rang.
Jolting away from her partner, Olivia grabbed the receiver on her desk, "Benson," she panted into the phone, her eyes still locked on Elliot's.
"Liv, it's Cragen, we have the results of the DNA test!" Olivia's heart started beating faster if possible.
She swallowed past a lump in her throat, "Kay Cap!" She leaned farther back into her chair, sensing bad news.
Cragen cleared his throat, "Take the rest of the week off Detective!" he coughed softly, "Make sure someone is with you. Elliot can have the week off too!"
Elliot intertwined their fingers while Olivia waited for the results of the test. "Captain," she prompted, "Was there a match?" She heard Cragen suck in his breath quickly,
"Yes Olivia, to the semen found in Nancy, and to you!" he waited for an answer but none came, "Benson?"
Olivia let the phone drop and Elliot picked it up. Cragen had hung up and all he heard was the dial tone. A lone tear dripped down Olivia's face. "Oh. God." She sobbed, rushing from the station house with Elliot in hot pursuit.
He drove her home in silence, parking her car in the garage and helping her up to her apartment. Olivia fumbled with her keys, unable to find the lock and open the door. Elliot unlocked the door for her and helped her inside. Her eyes were wide, betrayal danced through her irises, tears desperately wanting to fall. Olivia was too strong; she wouldn't let herself fall apart, not in front of Elliot.
"Liv," he soothed, "What's wrong?" he put his hands gently on her shoulders, but she shrugged him off.
She shook her head, unable to answer.
Elliot tried again, "Liv, baby, what were the results?" he watched her walk slowly into her kitchen and slam her fists into the granite counter, tears finally flowing down her pale cheeks. "It's okay Liv!" Elliot tried to comfort.
"No it's not!" she choked out, her face crumpling in pain, Elliot took her in his arms, rocking her body against his,
"Shh" he soothed, placing a hand at the nape of her neck.
She shuddered in his grasp, tears soaking through his work shirt, his jacket was still at the precinct, "Damn it El," she whispered fiercely, "it isn't okay!" she buried her face into the crook of his neck, "He was my fucking father!"
Elliot felt his world stop as he stared at the sobbing woman in his arms. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off,
"My own father held a gun to my head, threatened to rape me, tried to tear apart the family of the man I love and finally shot me with every intent to kill me!" she choked on her tears, wrapping her arms firmly around Elliot's waist and clutching him tightly against her.
Elliot couldn't begin to understand her pain, her mother had been raped and the monster who had created her tried to kill her also. Her voice echoed softly in his ear, and it took him a few moments to realize what she had said.
"I need you El," she had whispered, "I need your support."
She wrapped her arms around his neck before pulling his lips down to crash into hers. She kissed him fervently, desperately needing to feel his love. Elliot was startled but responded automatically, feeling her need for his care and comfort. She deepened the kiss and her caressed her tongue with his, willing himself to help ease her pain. It took him a couple of seconds to notice that her fingers had worked his tie from around his neck and started to unbutton his shirt.
He was getting aroused and knew that if Olivia got his shirt off, he'd do something he would regret. Elliot put his hand up to stop her, feeling her press her body into his. Her face was tear stained but beautiful to him and Elliot felt his chest constrict painfully at the realization that her whole life had fallen apart in six short months, technically only three if you considered the fact that she had been in a coma for half that time.
"Liv," he mumbled, making her look him in the eyes.
"Just love me El," she said, "Just love me!" before their lips crashed together again.
-THE END-