"Hmmm… saying this hurts me more than it will ever hurt you… but… the end is near… I will cry now… Oh yeah… Eri's still present… apparently, some invisible force is preventing me from taking her out of the story… but this element won't be based on her…" (that was what Jwei Lih wrote for you guys— isn't it obvious? I, L Jil Amber Christensen, do not cry…)
L Jil's note: due to some unavoidable circumstance— I, L Jil Amber Christensen, am your authoress for this element and hopefully the next ones… sardonic laugh do not fear! Our writing styles are quite similar— so you won't notice a difference… except maybe for the facts… laughs again anything goes, ne?
L Jil: don't worry Magi Gouzoo... I'm not a big fan of that girl who got to take Shuichi home and Ryuichi's heart as well-- but she's not mine... so I basically have no right whatsoever to delete her whole existance... don't worry-- I'm sure Jwei Lih understands... FINALLY someone complained against Erika... I was starting to worry there weren't enough Ryu fans out there!!!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own gravitation… however, I will tell you that I DO own a pink bunny that looks almost-exactly like Kumagurou…
The song here: Too Much To Ask is also not mine— it's Avril Lavigne's…
Legend: flashbacks or statements from the past are bold and in italics… /Shuichi's thoughts in flashbacks are bold…/Yuki's thoughts during flashback are italic… (take note: I said "thoughts"… so even if it looks like they are arguing… it's actually just a mere coincidence of their reactions…) 'by the way… this is a song'
Rating: definitely R… I do want to WARN you people that my R and Jwei's R are two different things… my R tends to be more… er… "scary" that Jwei's… I mean c'mon… SHE rates a single kissing scene an R!! so when I say R— I mean ARRR!!! Lemony-angsty R!!!
ELEMENT 12:
Closeness
Shuichi took a step back the moment he saw the strange gleam in his lover's eyes. He knew that whenever Yuki had this sultry look, the author wanted him… but still, he felt a pang of anxiety as a certain familiar-yet-awfully-distant sensation returned to him…
From somewhere in the darkness, Shuichi could hear a song— that he could easily relate to, as if he wrote the song…
'Every time I try to make you smile…
you're always feeling sorry for yourself…
every time I try to make you laugh…
you can't, you're too tough…
you think you're loveless…
is that too much that I'm asking for?'
Overcome by the sudden rush of emotions, Shuichi suddenly slumped to the floor, covered his face with his hands and cried…
He cried all the misery… pain… confusion… anger… sadness… anguish… torments… every feeling and everything he had been experiencing from the moment he left his lover's house. He felt his body tremble violently with each sob but ignored it… he ignored everything around him...
He just wanted to cry…
No matter how hard he tried… no matter how hard he tried to forget about what had happened and content himself with the fact that Yuki was finally there— but everything that happened came back and was clear as crystal in his mind.
'But every time I try to make you smile…
You always go and feel sorry for yourself…
Every time I try to make you laugh…
You stand like a stone…
Alone in your zone…
Is it too much that I'm asking for?'
Yuki looked at the figure in front of him and suddenly felt like a jerk. He remembered too… he remembered everything he said that night and discerned that his lover did too.
He wanted to undo it all if only he could…
But as human as Yuki Eiri was, he couldn't turn back time… he could only comfort.
"Shuichi…" he took a step forward, determining to undo as much hurt as he possibly could.
Shuichi held up a hand, halting Yuki, and said, "I'm f-f-fine… Y-Yuki…" He tried to look up but he was afraid to face Yuki again.
He remembered everything…
"Yukii!! It's SNOWING! There's Yuki all over the place! Let's go outside!"
/I only wanted us to spend some time together…/
I hate snow… but I never told you about it…
Yuki only grunted in response.
"Aww c'mon Yuki! Don't be such a killjoy…
I only wanted to enjoy a beautiful day with you…/
I just don't want to ever remember what happened during winter about two years ago…
"Shut up. I'm having a headache…"
"I guess you should quit smoking then… I hear that it's bad for your health…"
/But you couldn't see that— you never noticed that everything I do is for you…/
You shouldn't have said too much… you should've shut up and left me to sulk…
"My cigarettes don't give me headaches… you do."
I loved you Yuki… I still do… but it hurts…/
I love you Shuichi… I love you so much… I didn't realize what I said until it hung in the air… I love you and I'm really sorry…
"O-o-okay… I'll… I'll go now…" ('please stop me Yuki or at least act sorry, even if you don't say the words out loud…')
You never stopped me…/
I could hear you silently plead for me to stop you… I was too stubborn and stupid… but that doesn't mean that I didn't care…
"You do that… and don't come back 'til the snow stops…"
I prayed, to whoever was up there, everyday since that day, that you would come back to me… I'm sorry…
"I'm fine…" he said, more forcefully that time, facing Yuki and looking determinedly into his golden eyes, "…it's still snowing Yuki…" Shuichi didn't care if tears were still flowing down his cheeks, he only wanted to let Yuki see how much ache the whole thing had caused him...
Yuki looked at the heliotrope eyes and felt the hurt inside them... He knew that nothing could ever take back what had happened… and what he had said…
The author didn't realize that tears were also going down his cheeks…
Right then and there Shuichi knew…
He knew that Yuki was sorry for what he had done— and said…
He knew that his lover never meant any of the things to happen…
And best of all, he knew Yuki loved him…
… after all that had happened, Shuichi realized that all he ever wanted and needed, was to know that Yuki cared… and nothing else…
Shuichi stood up and held Yuki, letting his lover cry on his shoulders. He kissed the blond locks that were drenched in sweat and whispered gently, "it won't be too late when the snow clears… 'coz I— I am still here…"
Yuki wrapped his arms around his lover and pulled Shuichi closer to him, as he whispered "sorry" over and over and over and over again.
They just stood there, for who-knows-how-long, clinging unto each other's bodies, as if they would die if they let go.
And somehow they knew, every wound in their hearts have been healed…
—end of element—
L Jil's note: (sorry if it's a bit short…)you'd think that this was the end ne? Nope… nope… nope… Jwei Lih promised you lemon didn't she? And although she is currently in a delicate condition— I will write it… as some sort of lemony finale…
))"
Time to review…
REVIEW PLEASE!!! Will write faster if I know that many people read...