Chapter Three – T'Pol Has A Milkshake Whilst Archer Watches Traffic

The mess hall seemed like a safe enough place to retreat to after the events with my boyish Helmsman and Halloween-struck Commander. I hadn't the energy to Captain a bridge (or so I told myself) and the Mars Bar cake cooking in the kitchen that lunchtime was just too much to resist temptation by repeating 'boiled cabbage' in my mind every time I thought of it. I had to have my share.

There were several people in the mess hall that I knew shouldn't have been there at this time; Joey still had another half hour of a shift to complete and Tommy had a night shift that begged for him to be in bed right now. The captivating hold of Gina's classic blue gaze on him however trapped him like a wheel could a hamster. He was doomed to have bags under his eyes by the dawn. I ignored them and the guilt that radiated as I took a seat beside another of my crew who I believed should not have been here.

"Sub Commander, I thought I gave you the bridge for the rest of the shift."

She nodded. Hoshi was dining with her but I decided to ask why of that in a minute. I was fighting to keep the teasing smile from my jaw as I interrogated my so often order-abiding First Officer.

"Technically that was not my shift to take, and you never specified that it was an order for myself alone to hold the bridge for you, so I gave command to Lieutenant Reed. He seemed more than happy to take our place."

"Our place? Sounds like the Chair's become a timeshare."

She levitated a brow. "Timeshare?"

I thought it be ironically easier to move onto my next question. Those kinds of questions were best answered by Trip, for the amusement of it more than anything else in all honesty.

"You two talking about anything interesting, girl-talk and the likes that I should maybe skip to the next table to avoid?"

Thinking about it now I don't believe I had even seen the Sub Commander and the linguist dine together. Like watching the lioness and the gazelle side by side at the watering hole; it was almost poetic in a disturbing and suspicious kind of way.

"Ensign Sato was simply suggesting that I attend the… party Commander Tucker is organising. Above that she suggests that I attend in 'fancy dress' for the occasions. I have declined both offers and she is now persisting with her argument. I cannot convince her to leave me alone."

If she had been anything but a Vulcan the statement would have been said snarl-lipped with punctuation by the back of the throat on the last three syllables. Because she was Vulcan it was more amusing to hear it all said in monotone with a quipped brow and nothing else. I thought I saw a flicker in her fingertips, but that was all.

Hoshi looked suspiciously pleased with herself, smugness laden all around the eyes and the mouth. She must have believed she was getting somewhere. I didn't have the heart to explain to her that Soval rarely got anywhere with T'Pol at the best of times.

Beyond T'Pol's neatly laid hands sitting atop the table was a tall glass of thick, pale-pink liquid that only now caught my attention. It looked suspiciously like a strawberry milkshake.

"T'Pol… why are you drinking strawberry milkshake?"

I asked the question slowly, semi-cautious, semi-terrified by the scenario. If there was something wrong with my Sub Commander, mentally, well with Trip's current condition I don't think I could bring myself to promote him, even if it would be a necessity.

"Ensign Sato had originally promised me that she would drop the current topic if I tried strawberry milkshake. I have now done so but the promise was not fulfilled."

I eased myself back in the chair and felt it was safe to smile again.

"Sir, tell her. Tell her it's essential to fraternise in social callings like these. And tell her it's not 'illogical', it's just a bit of fun."

Hoshi had obviously grown more audacious with the Vulcan than I had given her credit for. From now on she could take Soval's calls from me.

"I still do not understand the true importance of either July the 4th or Halloween that they would call for 'essential fraternising', or any major fuss as it sees they have throughout the crew."

She looked genuinely mixed up (for a Vulcan) and I went back slightly to the semi-terrified mode. Trip sitting at T'Pol's station decked in a Tarzan outfit was not a comforting thought.

"Really it's the Sub Commander's choice Ensign. I can't make her do anything she's not comfortable with unless it's essential."

Hoshi pouted, but not for long.

"The outfit doesn't have to be extravagant or silly you know." She was talking to the brick wall again. "You could… dress up as a human, or a cat, or, oh, a beauty queen!"

It seemed Hoshi had struck gold, at least in her fanciful mind. She took off at Warp three on the tongue.

"It's perfect! All you have to do it slip into a dress, some stilettos, a sash and a crown. I suppose we could go for a bouquet, but it would have to be artificial. No, forget the bouquet. I have a crown, and Tactical have sashes that I'm sure we could jazz up a little. Do you own a dress? A nice one, like a ball gown or something like that?"

For once it seemed Ensign Sato had become capable of doing serious (mental) damage to someone no less than ninety-eight percent stronger than herself. T'Pol was – and I couldn't believe it for a moment but it was true – speechless. She looked slowly, almost pleadingly over at me.

"I don't think she owns a dress Hoshi."

Hoshi made a thoughtful 'Humph' noise and then went back to pondering hard, knitting her eyebrows together as she cradled her chin in her hand and leant her elbow against the table, diving into problem solving mode. Looking like she was mastering her first alien language again – good old Klingon.

"Sir, someone will have to watch the bridge whilst the event is taking place."

T'Pol had managed to grab control of her tongue again, thank God… (Honest I was glad about that…)

"I understand you are quite enthusiastic about attending this event, so I would be more than willing to take aboard the duty on my own whilst the crew enjoy their celebrations tomorrow."

I don't know how, but I had truly forgotten how wily T'Pol could be at times. Her statement was so painfully spot on. I didn't want to deny anyone a chance to go to the party just to have to go on duty, myself guiltily included. However I was naturally reluctant to leaving Earth's masterpiece unguarded in the middle of spaceship-eating space.

Looking out of one of the portholes I saw another ship cruise by. It was not something that happened often, traffic outside, and less so traffic that didn't want to stop and chat, but it did and so I watched it in the diner of my own ship as it quickly shot off in the distance.

I sighed. "You have a point Sub Commander, I'll admit. But I'd like it if you made an appearance. The whole point of this party, in essence, is to relieve stress and over-worked personnel. That includes you whether you deny it or not. It would do you good, just like it would all of us, to take a night off. The rest of the employed world do it, I don't see why we can't too."

I was quite pleased with that speech.

"May I ask a question?"

I nodded. "Of course."

She turned to Hoshi.

"What is a 'beauty queen'?"

(Mixed up as a milkshake

Watching traffic for days at the diner)