Title: Hush, Sweet Harry

Author: Gold-Snitcher

Chapter Title: I Feel

Pairing: SS/HP

-----------------------------------

It was unnerving; the way things fell back into routine at Hogwarts. Albus made an announcement that Harry Potter had left the school to complete his year abroad, and would be graduating elsewhere. Severus could only sit and sneer at how easily Potter's so-called friends accepted the news.

After that, it was almost as if the young man had never existed. Draco Malfoy continued to sit, smug and happy at the Slytherin table, and each time Severus saw him a cold feeling washed through him.

It seemed that Severus himself was the only one who was plagued with memories of Harry Potter. And indeed, the memories would not let him be. Each time he began instructing on the proper brewing of a potion, only to look up and see the empty chair. Or when he would sit at the head table and try and maintain a civil conversation, he would recall how the boy had looked as Poppy had cast the full body bind and took him out of the hospital wing and transported him to his home at the Dursleys'. Severus would recall the look, those wide and panicked green eyes as the spell was cast.

To Severus, the entire situation seemed insane. Albus' decision to send the boy away, and the fact that everyone, even the werewolf, supported the crazed notion.

"Stop fretting about it, Severus," Poppy said with a faint smile.

"I am most certainly not fretting. I am restocking your cupboard," he snapped.

"You mustn't dwell on it, Severus. The decision was for the best," she said, ignoring the potions master's comment.

"For the best?" he asked, wryly. "I find that supremely difficult to believe." He took out the vials of sleeping draughts that he had prepared and slipped them between the collection of Sneeze-Away serum and samine bile. Then he removed the samine bile and put it on a lower shelf. "Besides, I am not at all concerned about Potter."

"Nonsense, Severus," Poppy said, and now her smile was a bit more prominent. "I have known you for over sixteen years now. I know when you are dwelling on things, and you most certainly are dwelling." She emphasized 'dwelling' as if she intended it to mean more than its direct definition, which, Severus supposed, she did.

When he flashed her an irritated scowl she crossed the room and stopped him from shifting the umbrella tree sap to the lower shelf where he had begun to put the ingredients. "You're organizing," she pointed out. Severus immediately stopped his movements.

"Severus," Poppy said, and her tone had changed to that much dreaded tone she always had, as if he were still a student and had come to her with a skinned knee. "Albus knew how Harry disliked the hospital wing. And there was really nothing we could do. Better for him to be with his relatives, who can devote all their attention to him. Than in St. Mungo's where the press can harass the poor boy."

"I highly doubt, Poppy, that this decision was made for Potter's convenience and comfort. Rather, it seems more likely that Albus took stock in the old saying, 'out of sight, out of mind,' isn't that how it goes? Potter has just come from defeating the dark lord. To be brought down by a fellow student, that would cause panic and outrage. How could Albus allow young Malfoy to remain here, would be the question on everyone's mind."

"You believe Albus to be scheming?" Poppy asked. She seemed taken aback by the idea. Shocked that Severus could even humor it. "Severus, you go too far. Albus has only ever had the safety of this school and its students in mind." Severus quirked an eyebrow and returned to stocking the cupboard. With a small frown, Poppy returned to the other cupboard, where she had been putting away the fresh linens.

"I am going to Privet Drive at the end of this month," Poppy put forward after a moment of awkward silence. "To see how young Harry is doing. It would be very helpful to me if you would accompany me, to help with any potions which the boy might be requiring." Severus snorted. "It might also help to put your mind at ease."

"Poppy. My mind is not in need of easing." He sighed and closed the cupboard, locking it quickly and picking up the box where he had carried the potions. "But I will come."

............................

The month inched by at an agonizing crawl. It was a vile month, bursting with routine, overlaid with more routine, until it felt as if it were the same day being lived again and again and again. There had been a time when Severus would have appreciated the calm, reliability of it. Now he cursed the tedium of it.

It was a Saturday, bright and clear, not a cloud in the sky. Just like every other day prior to it thus far; the only difference being that Poppy Pomfrey had just marched into the dungeons and ordered Severus to collect his potions.

It took a moment for him to remember what was happening, so much was his shock at the break in the routine.

"It's Number Four Privet Drive, Severus," Poppy reminded once more. Though they had become quite close over the years of working together, Severus was still irritated to find that the woman could not break the habit of, periodically, remembering his age, as well as the fact that she had once tended his cuts and bruises when he was a student.

He endured her prattling in silence as he carried the small box of potions, following her into the fireplace, and they flooed to Number Four privet Drive.

Severus stepped out of the fireplace after Poppy and the scene that confronted him made him sneer. There was a very large boy seated in a chair watching tele and laughing like a donkey in heat.

"Oh Dudders, your breakfast is ready," a woman's voice crooned, and out marched a tall horse-faced woman bearing a plate stacked high with pancakes that were soaked in butter and syrup. She placed the plate on the table beside the boy, and then went rigid as she noticed Poppy and Severus standing in the middle of the living room.

"Who are you?" she asked. "Vernon!" she cried. A large, purple-faced, whale of a man stormed into the living room. "Vernon!" the woman cried again, and the man glared at Poppy and Severus.

"Good morning," Poppy greeted, unfazed by the horrified faces the muggles were watching them with. "I'm a medit-witch from Hogwarts. I've come to check on Harry." She smiled and then noticed the pancakes. "Has he had his breakfast yet? What does he usually eat?" she asked.

Severus watched the horse-faced woman and noticed her eyes glance from Poppy to the kitchen to the large stack of pancakes. Poppy, it seemed, had seen it too. "Dear me, you can't mean that he's been eating regular meals like pancakes? That won't do, come dear ..." and Poppy whisked the woman into the kitchen, no doubt educating her on what the boy was able to eat.

"Where is Harry Potter?" Severus demanded, but the man only turned a deeper shade of purple, and the boy seemed to be engrossed in his program. With a sneer, Severus left the room and climbed the stairs, in search of Potter's bedroom.

At the top of the stairs there were four doors dispersed along a hallway. Though there were ample photographs on the walls, not a single picture showed even a hint of Harry Potter. Severus sighed heavily. He had worked alongside the boy with the Order while they plotted how to defeat Voldemort, and over that period of time, Severus had begun to rethink his opinion of the boy. They did not fight as often, though Severus still took pleasure in baiting and teasing him. After the defeat of the Dark Lord, Harry had even begun to make his own retorts, though they were certainly more subtle and respectful than what Severus said, after all, Potter was still a student.

He had even begun to accept that Potter was not enshrined when he was at home with his relatives, though Severus, like many others, had believed that Potter simply had a normal family life. This evidence seemed to point to something different.

He opened the door at the end of the hall and entered the master bedroom. Severus sneered when he noticed the ample bed had a large gully on one side, no doubt the place where Harry's uncle slept. He closed the door and headed to the next one, but it revealed only a bathroom.

The next room, Severus almost took to be Potter's, except, like the hallways, there were no pictures of the boy, and he deduced that this was actually Potter's cousin's room. After all, Potter's slim build could have hardly created that dent in the mattress.

The last room was a junk room. He had almost closed the door completely when he caught sight of a small Gryffindor pennant, and a drawing of a familiar owl. This was Potter's room? Severus scowled and searched the room for any other sign of the boy. After all, someone in Potter's shape should be in his bed, if not in a hospital.

When no sign of Potter could be found, Severus shut the door and returned to the first floor. Poppy's voice could still be heard, blending with the voices of the tele. Severus looked for another door that could lead to another room where Potter was resting. He found nothing.

With a scowl, Severus returned to the living room and snarled at Potter's uncle. "Where is the boy?" he demanded. The man turned a surprising shade of purple and his eyes flickered back towards the hall before returning quickly. One of the man's many chins was lifted into the air defiantly, but Severus had his answer. With a sinking feeling, Severus approached the small door in the hallway. A cupboard door. With three locks.

He made quick work of the locks with a spell and then, hesitantly, he opened the door.

Harry Potter, hero of the wizarding world, was curled in on himself, shivering and wincing. "Poppy!" Severus called and immediately crouched down, reaching for the boy. He was surprised when the shivers that wracked the frail form only intensified.

:Shh," Severus soothed. "It is Severus." He bit his tongue. It's Severus? he thought to himself, but dismissed this as the boy's shaking calmed somewhat. For someone who was unresponsive, the boy seemed to be at least slightly aware of his surroundings.

"What have you found?" Poppy asked as she crouched beside him. She gasped. "Dear Merlin. What have they done?" Severus had to agree. Even in the dim light, he could make out the bruising.

Very carefully, Severus pulled the boy's hands away from his face and spotted a dark ring of bruises around the boy's neck. Severus felt a rage that surprised him. His rage was directed at many things. Albus, for being so blind, the Dursleys, for their mistreatment and stupidity; the wizarding world, for being so selfish; but mostly at himself, for refusing to believe, for refusing to trust his instincts, for refusing to see. For refusing to demand that boy be treated fairly. After all, if it had been anyone but Harry Potter, he would have been sent to St. Mungo's and taken care of.

"Oh Severus," Poppy sighed. "You were right ... I was so blind." Severus was so furious that his hands shook as he administered a pain relieving potion and a standard healing draught. Carefully, he picked up the boy and lifted him out of the cupboard.

"I am taking him back to Hogwarts," he informed Poppy in a tone that brooked no arguments.

"Of course," she agreed. "Sweet Merlin, the poor child."

.........................

Harry Potter once again occupied a bed in the hospital wing of Hogwarts. Above him, several floors up, a group of frantic adults debated heatedly.

There was one man who was not in the headmaster's office, and he was standing, eyeing the sleeping form of Harry Potter with a blank expression.

Severus ran through what he had seen of the boy when he had found him in that cupboard. Potter seemed to be expecting to be hit, but when Severus had spoken and soothed him, he seemed to have visibly relaxed. How could that be? The boy was unresponsive. The brain damage was severe and extensive.

With a cynical thought, Severus stepped forward and withdrew his wand.

.........................

Remus Lupin felt like crying. He felt like howling in rage and despair and frustration. Instead, he stood quietly and watched the pale boy draw in sporadic and shallow breaths.

Remus could not believe what was happening. He was still devastated by the loss of his best friend, Sirius, and overcoming the shock of the end of the war. Now, looking at the pale and unresponsive form of his other best friend's son, Remus felt the familiar twinge of despair.

He looked at the pale features and the unresponsive form; how Harry simply lay there, blinking every so often, though not often enough, and staring at the ceiling.

He had done this. He had done this to Harry. Maybe it hadn't been directly his fault, but it was true. If he had only fought harder to gain custody of Harry after James and Lily had been killed. If only he had worked harder to form a closer bond with the boy. If he had, at least, trusted in Lily's recounting of Petunia's horrible superstitions, maybe he could have pieced together that Petunia would not protect Harry. If he had been there for Harry, then maybe Harry wouldn't have even been in that hallway, alone, walking at night because he couldn't sleep -- easy pray for Malfoy; no, Harry would have been with Remus talking things out. If only he hadn't trusted Albus' suggestion to send Harry back to his relatives.

It had seemed the right thing to do. Harry hated the hospital wing! He hated being fussed over and drugged with potions. He needed somewhere familiar where he would be taken care of. Somewhere that the press and pestering fans could not reach him.

No.

It was a lie. That hadn't been what had prompted his decision. Remus had only thought of himself. He hadn't been able to take the sight of Harry lying there, so very still, unable to relate to his surroundings. It was easier to let him return to the Dursleys. He had believed that they would be able to take care of him, something Remus was certain that he himself could not do.

"I've healed most of the damage," Poppy offered as she came to stand beside him. It wasn't a comfort for Remus. He could still see the bruising around the slim neck. Could still make out the places where Harry had taken a punch, or perhaps a kick.

"How long does he have?" Remus asked.

"It can vary," Poppy said. She sighed. "It's a slow process, usually. But with the added stress of the abuse, I can't be sure. His systems will begin to shut down. Lack of appetite, his metabolism will slow considerably. His motor systems will shut down. He won't be able to move any part of his body; liver failure, kidney failure and the like. He'll just simply begin to waste away. It will likely be the emotional affects that kill him, though," she stated, watching as the boy blinked, once, slowly.

The doors to the hospital wing opened and Severus Snape swept into the room in a swirl of robes, marching directly towards Potter's bed, and Remus and Poppy. "Potions will not be able to be administered, they'll do more damage than good. He simply won't be able to process them," Poppy continued. "Patients like this just give up. It's a slow and painful end."

Severus stopped by the side of Potter's bed and looked, somewhat incredulously, at Remus and Poppy, and then back at Potter, who was lying, awake, and staring at the ceiling. "I think," Severus bit out in a snarl that sent shivers down Remus' spine. "That you should move your discussion somewhere else."

"And why is that?" Remus demanded, immediately on the defensive. Leave Harry? Not a chance.

"Because," Severus said, his voice threatening and his anger clear. "I think he can understand you."

----------------------

TBC

Hi!! Please review and tell me what you thought! It helps me to write more and I really appreciate it!! Can you believe it took me 4 tries to write this blasted chapter?! Each attempt kept getting deleted or reformatted or something. It was brutal. I hope you enjoyed.

I made most of that stuff up about how Harry's systems would shut down, mostly because I'm too lazy to run to my psych text and figure out how it actually goes. Oh well, you get the idea. Don't flame me for that.

About my other fics. I got some reviews from people in this fic about my other fics. Thanks for the reviews, but really, there's nothing I can do. I have to reformat everything, it's not a question of writing. They'll be updated later in the month. I promise I haven't stopped writing them.

THANKS SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!!

This chapter is dedicated to Slytherinkid07 for faithfully checking. And for that arse comment. That made me laugh. Hope this chapter was worth the wait.