Title: Hush, Sweet Harry

Author: Gold-Snitcher

Chapter Five: I Break-Down

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Severus Snape dismissed his class and, with a welcomed sense of relief, scooped up the bundle of essays he had just collected, and exited his classrooms. He walked briskly through the halls and, when he reached it, entered his private chamber in a flourish and shut the door heavily behind him.

From his position in what had long become identified as 'his chair' Harry Potter turned his head away from where he had been watching the fire, but otherwise gave no response.

It was not uncommon for Severus to return to his rooms to find Harry, bundled in a thick blanket, sitting in his usual high-back and overstuff chair by the fire, with Remus stationed on the other chair, reading to him. Movement was becoming easier for the dark-haired youth and, though he tired easily, and sometimes his hands shook, Poppy had insisted that the movement was good for him. She had allowed the young man to start eating solid foods, though he was not anywhere near to eating a regular diet, and Poppy still insisted that the nutrient potions were necessary.

"Where is Lupin?" Severus asked when a quick scan of his chambers showed no sign of the werewolf. Harry turned his eyes slowly to the small coffee table that was situated between the two overstuffed chairs, and Severus spotted a note settled on top of a tea tray.

It took a moment to grapple with his anger with the man for leaving the teen on his own. Harry still required supervision since movement over long distances, like from the chair to, say, the washroom, were still taxing, and he was prone to fits where he would black-out, or sometimes pass-out entirely. Added to this, there were still numerous potions which Harry had to be dosed with at specific times. That the man had up-and left was inexcusable.

With a huff, Severus paced forward and snatched-up the note. Severus sneered as he read the werewolf's excuse. "Albus called him," Severus explained to the youth, not sure if Lupin had even bother to inform the boy. "He should have informed Poppy," Severus muttered to himself. He glanced up at the dark haired youth but Harry had simply turned his head away and was staring at the fire. "Have you just been sitting here?" he asked, doubly frustrated with Lupin for not providing Harry with some form of amusement. Herz had specified that he needed to be challenged, and sitting in front of a fire and clearly dwelling on his dark thoughts was certainly not conducive to healing.

"I will return in a moment," Severus said with a sigh. He entered his rooms and quickly changed into a more relaxed robe. He washed his face and his hands, because he did not have time for a shower, before returning to the sitting room and picking up a book.

"We left off with the proper brewing of the somnolent potion, did we not?" he asked vaguely as he flicked through book before recovering his page. He looked at Harry expectantly for a moment before he began reading.

Severus had found that reading out loud to Harry was a surprisingly pleasant task. Though sometimes his voice felt a bit rough, and he was forced, on occasion, to lace his tea with a soothing draught, all-in-all, the soothing calm which seemed to pervade his rooms when he read aloud made it a rather enjoyable task. Harry seemed to enjoy it as well, as the teen always seemed to be the most relaxed when someone was reading to him. Severus had found, mostly through watching Remus interact with the teen, that having conversations with the youth, however one-sided, seemed to frustrate Harry more than they frustrated Remus. It was an odd observation, both that Remus seemed capable of yammering on about nothing forever, and that Harry was irritated with it, though whether it was because of the mundane topics that the werewolf spoke of, or whatever other reason, Severus, of course, could not know.

Because of this, Severus spoke rather infrequently with Harry, though, in all honestly, he was not about to start describing the events of his day just to keep the boy's mind occupied. Far better to focus the boy on important topics. And so he brought Harry's work to him and had him grapple with it, though the tremors in the teen's hand were too intense for him to write legibly, it was good for him to practice gripping the quill at least. And though he seemed unable to focus on a book himself, it was beneficial to remind that teen what words and reading looked and felt like, so that he could regain the ability faster. Severus' hypothesis was proved correct when he noticed that Harry could spend an increasing amount of time reading a book, though writing was still impossible.

Severus still read to Harry, sometimes out of Harry's textbooks, but more often out of his own collection of books, mostly regarding potions, but some regarding dark arts, since Harry had always been fascinated with them, and charms and defense as well.

"And the typical base for the potion is?" Severus looked up and looked at Harry expectantly. The boy looked back at him. "A version of walnut sap and ground asparagus, naturally," he said, as if Harry had not known the response to the answer and Severus were giving it to him. Severus had started asking questions at first because of the recommendation that Herz had made to keep the boy's mind working. Severus had theorized that if the teen was aware that progress and responses were expected from him, it would pressure him to be able to made such progress and responses. But one time, just after Severus had answered one of the questions he had posed to the boy, Severus had glanced up to see a strange look of triumph in the green depths. It had shocked him, at the time, but since then, Severus made certain to keep an eye on the teen for those few moments when a clear emotion was displayed for the world to see in his startling eyes.

"And here we will stop," Severus said, when he had glanced at his clock and noticed it was time for dinner. "Do you have a preference of meal?" Severus asked as he rose and headed towards the small bell that he kept on the mantel above the fireplace. "No?" he said. "Soup it is, then," he said with a smirk, since Poppy's outline of Harry's diet had specified that he should have a light dinner. It was amusing for Severus to see Poppy fuss over Harry as she did. When the war had been going strong, and Severus had been fulfilling his role as a spy, he had been as much a regular of the hospital wing as Potter was rumored to be. Though of course, his stays were kept quiet, and he was never forced to endure the fanfare of visitors and gifts that Potter did. Now, it was a relief to realize that he would never be toted into that horrid wing of the school suffering from the effects of cruciatus again. And now he could watch Poppy in all her over-protective glory, and be amused because, for once, it wasn't him having to endure her whims.

………………..

"I returned as soon as I could," Remus said, upon entering Snape's rooms.

"You've returned far too late. You're presence is no longer required as Harry has, as you can plainly see, fallen asleep, and I have marking to accomplish," Severus drawled from his seat behind his desk, without even glancing up from his marking.

"Albus requested my presence and I had –"

"I'm well aware of where you were, Lupin," Severus drawled, though both he and Remus were attempting to speak in hushed tones as Harry had fallen asleep on the couch. "I read your note. However I find it inexcusable that you did not notify someone, Poppy at the very least, and instead chose to leave Potter here, alone, without anything to occupy him. You seem determined to ignore the fact that he is unwell."

"I am not ignoring anything!" Remus hissed, feeling his anger unfurling. He paced over to loom over Snape's desk, but Severus remained composed, merely gracing him with a look of disdain. "It kills me to see him like this and I do everything that I can to help him. I had to go to speak with Albus. He said it was urgent and I left promptly. But I did notify Poppy about the situation." Severus snorted, but decided he would have to have a small chat with the school's mediwitch. Everyone spoke as if they sincerely wanted Harry to recover, but they seemed determined to make the entire process far more difficult that it needed to be.

Severus waved a dismissive hand, and Remus huffed at that. "You're just going to leave him there?" Remus asked instead, turning to look at Harry who was bundled in a thick duvet, curled on the velvet couch that situated near the fire. Severus glanced up from his work with a raised eyebrow as if to ask what the problem with that was. Remus huffed again and approached the couch. Trying to move as slowly and gently as possible, Remus shifted Harry towards the edge of the couch so that he could pick him up.

Harry's body went rigid, his eyes snapped open and he held his breath. Remus halted his movements and stared back at the teen. A moment passed, and then the muscled beneath Remus' hand relaxed slightly, and he returned to his task of hauling up the teen and bringing him into the bedroom and settling him down for the night.

"I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly, Harry," Remus said as he tugged the blankets up and tucked the dark haired youth in. "There was an important matter that had to be discussed, but it's all settled now. I'm sorry I left you like that." He smiled affectionately at the young man who had endured so much, too much. Remus had tried to fulfill the role of godfather for Harry, but thus far he had only been faced with daunting failure. His own insecurities and fears worked against his properly managing Harry, and in the end, Remus could only reflect on his failure in regards to protecting the child of his close friend, and his best-friend's godson.

He smoothed back Harry's hair and bent down to kiss the lightning bolt scar that was now only a faint white zig-zag, the color of any normal scar. "Good-night, Harry," he whispered, before he raised his wand and turned out the lights. Quietly, he headed to the door and closed it behind him.

"He still startles easily," Remus said, almost to himself. Severus glanced up from his work for a moment before returning to it. "He moves better now. More fluid. He didn't even spill his tea this morning, or clatter the cup on the dish." Severus simply 'hmmed'. Remus rolled his eyes. "I suppose his progress means little to you," he snarled.

"When he ceases to have difficulty with moving independently. When he is capable of both enduring and wielding his magic, wandless and otherwise to his full capacity. When he speaks and expresses himself. In fact, when he makes a full recovery, then his progress will indeed be significant, and I shall be happy. But when he still is reliant on untrustworthy werewolves for his care, then I shall continue to be wary," Severus snarled. Remus growled back at him, huffed, spun on his heel and left Severus' rooms. Slamming the door upon departure.

Severus briskly rose from his seat, picked up the lit candle that Remus had carried with him and reentered the bedroom where Harry had been deposited. Without a word, Severus set the candle down on the night table before spinning on his heel and exiting the rooms, shutting the door quietly.

……………….

Albus Dumbledore did not even have to look up from his work and check his spelled mirror to see who was rushing up the steps towards his office. He had been wondering when this visit would take place and was only surprised that the two had been able to hold off for so long.

"Enter," he called before the two could even knock, and Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley entered the room, looking as if they were trying their very best to keep from leaping over the desk and throttling him for information. Albus smiled at the pair and offered them a lemon drop.

"No thank-you, sir," they replied in unison.

"Well, please take a seat," he welcomed. "What can I do for you?" he asked, when they had settled into their chairs.

"Sir, I was wondering where Harry was," Hermione said.

"He has decided to complete his year abroad," Albus said with a relaxed smile. Ron looked at him doubtfully and Hermione frowned and did not meet his eye.

"Sir, it's just that … well he didn't say anything to us about it. And it's unlike him. Hogwarts is his home. He would never want to leave it," Hermione explained, looking at him helplessly.

Albus sat back in his chair and eyed the two seventh years. The war, and their close friendship with Harry had forced them to grow-up faster than their peers. Albus admired them for their steadfast loyalty. He knew that there were some things that Harry had not been upfront about, and that, at night, even with his occlumency training, visions would still strike him, and Albus also knew that someone had been taking care of the Boy-Who-Lived after the visions struck, because he certainly never sought out Poppy for aid.

It had made him doubly proud when, as he made his announcement about Harry's studying abroad, that the pair had made an effort to appear completely unsurprised. Ever since Voldemort's defeat, the Wizarding world had become fiercely protective of Harry. Albus knew, as Ron and Hermione knew, that every eye in the school had turned to them to seek the veracity of the statement, and they had done their best to seem confident. If they had reacted in any other way, there would have been an uproar, pandemonium would descend not only on the school, but the entire Wizarding World making it that much easier for Lucius to gain control.

"Harry has been injured," Albus said slowly, wondering how much to say. After all, Draco was still freely walking through Hogwarts' halls. If he were to say that Draco had been the cause of Harry's injury, regardless of their awareness of the delicacy of the situation, Albus was certain that neither Ron nor even Hermione would bother to hold back from an outright war against their fellow seventh year.

"Is he okay? Can we see him? Where is he?" Ron spoke quickly, silence only when Albus raised a hand.

"He is recovering, though it is a slow process. He is safe, and that is what matters. I would ask that both of you refrain from any attempt to contact him, as it would put his safety at risk. Rest assured that he is being cared for."

"But what happened?" Hermione asked.

"He was attacked by a supporter of the new rising dark lord."

"Lucius Malfoy, you mean?" Hermione asked. "Was it a student?"

"Draco," Ron snarled. "The bloody gi—"

"Ron!" Hermione cautioned, putting a calming hand on his arm.

"He is recovering," Albus interrupted, neither confirming nor denying their hypothesis. "That is what counts. We are doing all we can."

"Can we see him?" Ron asked. "Just for a bit?"

"No, M. Weasley. Not at the moment," Albus said. "He is in hiding and it would be unwise to breach the security there. Rest assured that he is working on his studies and will write his N.E.W.T.S at the end of the year." This seemed to calm Hermione, though Albus had only his own optimism about the situation to guarantee that Harry would be capable of this at all. "I ask that you continue to behave exactly as you have been. You have shown yourselves to be very intelligent. I award Gryffindor house fifty points for your quick thinking," he said with a smile, though neither Hermione nor Ron seemed interested in the points. They left his office with frowns on their faces which they quickly turned to smiles as they confronted a wave of students.

Being best friends with Harry Potter meant they had to adapt a certain number of Slytherin traits in order to survive.

…………………..

Severus sat at his desk and concentrated on his marking while Remus prattled on about his classes to Harry, and Harry sat on his usual chair, gripping his quickly in shaking fingers and attempted to write on piece of parchment that was set on a book for support and propped in his lap.

Severus had been quite focussed on his work, but as he shifted in his seat for the tenth time, he became aware that his restlessness was not, as he had thought, originating from himself. With a frown, he set down his quill and looked up, focussing on his surroundings. Remus, too, seemed to have noticed it, as he was making an extra attempt to divert Harry's attention. There was an increasing crackle in the air, and Severus rose quickly from his chair.

"What have you been saying to him?" he demanded in a hiss and he paced over to where Remus and Harry were sitting.

"Nothing. It just came on suddenly. I've been trying to distract him."

"Clearly it is not working," Severus said, as the crackle of magic in the room began to increase. This was not something that had happened before. Poppy was still adamant that magic be used on Harry with discretion and that Harry practice absolutely no magic himself. It was unfortunate that Harry was well-versed in wandless magic, and that his emotions tended to bring that natural talent to the fore.

"Harry," Remus said with a smile, as he leaned forward and wrapped a hand around one of Harry's slender wrists. "Why don't you stop writing," he said. A glance at the parchment showed a set of squiggly lines that barely resembled letters, and Harry's hand, which still clutched the quill, was shaking noticeably. "You've written enough, don't you think?" Remus asked, when Harry made no move to put down the quill.

A snarl, and then the sound of several glasses breaking. Severus turned to see his bottle of whisky and the two glasses on his shelves for it all broken. A moment later, the glass on his cabinet doors shattered. He spun quickly back to Harry and, brushing Remus' hands aside, bent forward and clutched Harry's upper shoulders. The teen had clearly lost control and his rogue magic was weakening him as was evidenced by the sheen of sweat that covered him, and the shaking that had moved from his hand and encompassed his entire body.

"Potter," Severus snapped. "Harry," he hissed after a moment. "Look at me." He waited until wide green eyes raised to meet his own eyes. "I can understand that you are frustrated, that is understandable, but this is certainly not the way to deal with it. We've had this discussion before about your wandless magic. Now, I want you to reign it in." Around the room, the furniture, books and cabinets included, had begun to shake. Remus had leapt from the sofa when it, too, had begun to shake. The only item in the room that was not shaking was the chair on which Harry sat. "You know perfectly well how to control your magic, Harry. Just because you have having difficulty writing does not mean you cannot control your magic," Severus went on, when, a moment later, nothing had happened.

Slowly things in the room began to settle again, but Harry continued to glare at his potions master with a furious and self-depreciating looking in his eyes which Severus did not like. "I will contact Doctor Herz, if it will make you feel better, and he can suggest some things that you can practice that may help, until then, I would appreciate it if you did not completely destroy my chambers," Severus finished as he let go of Harry, who had calmed down.

With a few deft flicks of his wand, Severus had returned his chambers back to how they had been before Harry's episode. That completed, Severus took several potions form his cabinet and handed them to Remsu to administer to the teen before he reseated himself at his desk and continued with his marking, though he kept an eye on Harry in case he showed any ill effects from the release of magic.

It didn't take long before Harry had fallen asleep in his chair, still curled in his blanket and clutching the quill, though he had stopped any attempt to write with it. Remus carried him back into the bedroom and tucked him in, and Severus set the candle in its usual place before shutting the door. Before Severus could return to his work, he became aware of the fact that Remus was eyeing him closely, and returned the werewolf's analytical expression with a defiant glare of his own.

"I've never seen that before. I mean, before, when he lost control of his magic when he was very angry, I saw that once. But this was different," Remus said softly. "I was trying to calm him but I wasn't sure what was causing him to be so frustrated," Remus explained. "Thank-you," Remus continued. "For calming him."

Severus snorted. "It was not as if I had a choice. You were clearly doing a poor job of it, and if I had hesitated a moment longer he would have destroyed by chambers, and likely have put himself into a coma."

For a moment, Remus just looked closely at Severus, eyeing the unconcerned expression which the potion master had on his face, and then, in a quiet voice, Remus responded," Admit it, Severus. You have something else invested in this." Severus raised an eyebrow and glared, but Remus only offered a sad half-smile before he turned and exited the rooms.

Severus stood quietly and watched him go before he headed to the fireplace and firecalled Dr. Herz.

…………………….

"He moves better, yes?" Herz asked, with an excited sort of glint in his eyes.

"It appears easier for him to do, but he tires, and sometimes he faints," Severus said.

"Yes, yes. This is to be expected. It will continue for quite a while. He needs close supervision. You said he had some sort of attack with his magic, yes?"

"He is growing increasingly frustrated with his weakness, I think," Severus said.

"Zis is understandable. I think it is time to run some tests. It is important zat he rests and remains calm. He will be quite weak after expending his magic. Give him lots of replenishing draughts. In two days, I expect to see him here. I will have a room ready, yes?"

"How would you propose he travel there?" Severus asked with a disdainful drawl.

Herze smiled happily. "Why, you must take him."

"I have classes to teach."

"His health is important, yes?"

"Quite. But so are my classes. If you wait until the end of next week, I should be able to bring him as the school lets out for Christmas break."

"Ah, yes. Christmas. Time moves so swiftly, sometimes I forget the season!" Herz chuckled. "Yes, yes. Bring him then. Keep him calm and rested. And no more quills or paper if it angers him!" Herz advised.

"I think he would be equally frustrated at the blatant comment on his control if I were to remove them, then if I were simply to leave them out."

"No magic," Herz said, ignoring the comment. Severus rolled his eyes, before he cancelled the connection and, with a dramatic sigh, turned and went to bed.

As he lay in bed, trying to fall into sleep, Remus' words from earlier ran through his head, and Severus fought valiantly against the images that began to run through him, memories, not only of Harry now, as he attempted to recover from the knife-wound, but of earlier, when Harry had been strategizing and determined to fight and kill Voldemort. He struggled to ignore the question, dismissing the preposterous implications of his reactions in the past to various events.

Harry, missing from his dorm rooms, sending his friends and the professors and the entire Order into uproar.

Harry, smirking in an entirely Slytherin fashion as, for once, he played a game of chess with his potions professor and actually beat him.

Harry, sprawled on the front steps of the school, barely conscious and hardly able to move, with his famous scar a faded line on his forehead. Smiling triumphantly despite the exhaustion.

Just Harry.

Severus huffed in frustration and kicked his blankets off, insisting that he could not sleep because it was too hot in the rooms. He cast a cooling charm on his room, and closed his eyes. Something else invested indeed. Remus was an idiot. It had been proven before, and Severus was certain it would be proved again.

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TBC

Hello! I wanted to first apologize for taking so long to update. I'm in the middle of exams right now, and coming in from a really hellishly chaotic few months so that's my excuse. I also want to thank everyone for reviewing! The reason I'm updating this now is because such a fuss was made and I felt really guilty for taking so long so I'm postponing working on my take-home exam and finished this for you all. Hope you enjoyed it.