The battle was over. Zhan Tiri had been destroyed. The moonstone and sundrop weren't around to complicate and destroy things. Everybody in Corona and their allies were celebrating. Friends were reconnecting, or making brand new connections. Everybody was happy. Nothing was wrong.
And Hector had never felt more lost in his life.
He stayed in the shadows. Nobody looked his way, which was exactly what he wanted, and everything that he hated. He didn't have to socialize with people, which he hadn't done without attacking them for twenty five years, and he'd done really badly at it before that. Instead, Hector was stuck watching people and not understanding what they were doing.
There was the not-sundrop. The princess. Yesterday she had magical powers, and seventy feet of hair, and she was fighting for her life. Now her hair was shorter than Hector's. She had no magic, and there were a lot of repairs that needed to be made in her kingdom. She should be stressed, and struggling to adapt, and worrying about everything that needed to be done, but she was the happiest person at the party.
Then there was Prince Horace. Apparently he'd believed that he was an orphan for his whole life, and now he knew he was a crown prince of a decrepit kingdom. He had a father, and loyal knights who would do anything for him, even though they didn't know him as a person. He was taking it all in stride, not denying his destiny, but not letting go of the future he had started to make for himself. Hector wished he knew how to do that.
Last but not least, there was that thief that Hector hated with everything he had. Cassandra. She'd chosen to upend her whole life. She'd betrayed her friends, her family, and everything that she cared about, all for her own selfish desires. If one of Hector's siblings had done something like that, and ended up falling flat on their faces and crawling back to him, he would have sneered at them and kicked them out.
Maybe he would have accepted them back into his life after they had proven themselves to him, but he wouldn't have made it easy. Cassandra, as far as Hector could tell, had not done anywhere near enough to make up for the amount of back-stabbing she'd done, and yet she was welcomed back with open arms, and Hector didn't understand it at all. It was absolutely infuriating.
Corona was so sickeningly cheerful and happy, and everybody was friends with everybody. It was disgusting and made Hector feel so sick that it was actually physically painful.
He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to watch the young woman that had possessed him and his siblings, using their loyalty and dedication against them, smiling with the prince of the Dark Kingdom. She had actively tried to make the Brotherhood kill Horace, and now they were acting like there had never been bad blood between them, and it was infuriating.
Scowling to himself, Hector pulled his cloak around himself and slinked back out of the ballroom and into the halls that were much larger than they had any right to be. Stupid castle. Stupid Corona. Stupid castle servants who gave him looks of alarm and pushed themselves as close to the wall as they could when he passed them by.
He just wanted to go home…but what did that even mean anymore? The Great Tree was destroyed. The Dark Kingdom was completely abandoned, even by its king. Where did he have to go now?
Nowhere. Just like when he was a child, Hector didn't have a home to his name. Not even an isolated place that could barely be considered a home, but more like a place where he could be homeless.
Hector had nothing, and the churning feeling in his stomach now wasn't just because of frustration and disgust.
His legs felt weak and Hector felt like he had completely forgotten how to breathe. He brought in a half gasp as the room seemed to both spin and close in around him. He sank down to his knees and pushed himself to a table against the wall. He was trying to make himself small and unnoticeable, and he hated it.
He was Hector, a knight of the Brotherhood. They were masters of everything but subtlety. He struck fear into the hearts of everybody that he interacted with. He was supposed to be the one to spread panic. He wasn't supposed to feel like this, and yet here he was, freaking out like an abandoned child, and for such a pathetic reason. So what if he didn't have a home? It wouldn't be the first time, and it wouldn't be the last time.
Hector growled to himself and slammed his head against the wall, even as he tried to grip and claw at the smooth floor beneath him. He needed to calm down. He was fine. Why was his stupid body acting like this was the end of the world? He was just fine!
Hector sat there, feeling like he was screaming for help, and praying to be ignored, while wishing for neither. He probably looked like a mess. He felt like a mess, and he couldn't stop. Trying to keep from hyperventilating, or hypoventilating, just made it so that his air was coming out as a sound that was a cross between a sob and a laugh. He probably sounded just as insane as he looked.
He hated the alarmed and pitying looks that the servants gave him as they hurried past. Nobody asked if he needed help. Nobody went to get help, or offered him a glass of water or anything. They just left him alone, which was just what he wanted, and it hurt.
Hector had no idea how long he was sitting there for, but eventually he got his breath back and his legs weren't shaking. He still felt uncomfortably tense, and his head was pounding because of how often he had slammed it against the wall, but he felt okay enough to get up. Hector used the table to pull himself up to his unsteady feet, and he went back to stumbling down the hallways.
He went outside and to the stables. He felt like he was going through the motions. He was furiously numb, and he wanted to just go home and hide away from the rest of the world. But he couldn't. His home didn't exist anymore. There wasn't anywhere to run to.
At least he still had creatures that he knew would be there for him, no matter what. He found his rhino situated outside the castle stables. Hector staggered to it and practically collapsed against his old friend. The rhino huffed and nudged him harshly, grounding and stabilizing him.
Hector had thought that he had recovered from whatever fluke had happened to him inside, but leaning against his rhino, knowing that there was at least some protection from the outside world, he felt like he was going to break down all over again.
The rhino nuzzled him and let out a loud cry. There were growls and roars from inside the stable, and not long after that his bearcats were running out. They nibbled at Hector's cloak until he let himself be dragged back down to the ground. They then sat on him, weighing him down, and they both seemed more than content to crush and immobilize him.
Hector sighed and just settled himself on the ground. His bearcats just sometimes decided to lay down on him, and when they made up their minds they wouldn't change them. There was a caw from the cabins, and soon they were joined by Hamuel and Domino. It was a Brotherhood animal reunion…and Hector.
His chest tightened painfully, and it had nothing to do with the animals on him. There had been a handful of times in the past when Hector had felt like he had belonged more with animals than his brethren. He liked the animals, so that itself wasn't too bad, but he felt like his siblings felt the same way. He felt like they saw him as more of a mindless beast to be reined in and controlled than a brother to be understood.
He was used to people seeing him that way, and he didn't really mind it from total strangers. Let them not take him seriously. It would be their death. His siblings though, they were his rock. Edmund gave him purpose. Adira gave him community. Quirin gave them stability. He needed them as family, but if he was just a nuisance for them then he would rather stop burdening them.
What Hector needed was a reunion with his siblings, and working together while being possessed definitely didn't count. He needed to talk about the good old days, and feel like siblings rather than enemies again. This was the first time in twenty five years that they were all in the same place. They should take advantage of that.
Instead, Hector was out here, with the animals being the only thing keeping him from completely losing himself. His siblings, meanwhile, were inside enjoying the party and celebrating with the Coronans.
Hector didn't really understand why they were celebrating? Because they weren't being possessed anymore, even though the one who had taken their will from them was inside? Because the moonstone, the very thing that they had sworn to protect, had been destroyed?
Or were they celebrating the fact that Zhan Tiri was gone, when the only reason she was free in the first place was because of Hector's own stupid mistake?
She had only been freed in the first place because he had pulled the spear out of the Heart of the Tree, and what had it accomplished? Absolutely nothing. He had risked the fate of the world because he'd been caught between a rock and a hard place, and after brief but intense internal debate he'd decided that while Zhan Tiri's powers being freed wouldn't be a good thing, it wouldn't be an immediate problem, and someone taking the moonstone would be.
He'd tried to harness the powers of Zhan Tiri to prevent the intruders from getting to the stone. He'd failed, and because of that he single-handedly was the one responsible for the world almost being destroyed.
He hadn't made Cassandra steal the moonstone, but from what he had heard she wouldn't have taken it if it weren't for the influence of Zhan Tiri. Without the demon's whispers, The sundrop would have taken the moonstone as she had planned. The two celestial forces could have been destroyed, without dragging anybody else except possibly the princess into it.
Nobody else was blaming Hector for what had happened, but considering they weren't seeming to blame Cassandra when she had literally stolen, kidnapped, mind-controlled, and threatened people, he didn't think Coronans were in the habit of pointing fingers.
Hector made a sound that he refused to admit was a whimper. His bearcats gave him a small nip and pressed against him. He was actually feeling nauseous and lightheaded, and the weight on his body was not helping.
"Guys, I need to breathe." Hector said. His bearcats growled, but crawled off. He sat up and leaned against his rhino. Hamuel cawed and landed on his head. He liked the company, but these animals weren't the ones whose company he wanted.
When Hector was young and prone to freaking out his siblings would have been quick to join him. Within just a matter of minutes at least one of them would be there to distract or reassure him. Hector felt like he had been panicking uselessly for hours, making a scene in the middle of a hallway, and now a courtyard, and there wasn't a sibling in sight. It really shouldn't hurt, but it did.
Hector wanted to just pettily walk away and wait for them to come to him, and he would have done just that if it weren't for the fact that he didn't have somewhere to walk to. There was no corner of the castle to hide in, or secret corridors of the tree to retreat to. He was in a strange kingdom, far from his nonexistent home, and the thought made an intense feeling build up in his chest. Something was building up inside of him, and he felt like he needed to get it out.
Hector tilted his head back and let out a shout that grew louder and more raw. His throat hurt, and he just screamed more. Out of the corner of his eye he saw people look his way, but when they saw him they quickly averted their gaze and walked away. Maybe that was why Corona was such a cheerful place. Everybody just ignored everything that they didn't like.
Maybe that was the real reason why none of his siblings had come out to find him yet. They had been spending so much time with Coronans that they were adopting their ways. They probably knew that he was losing it, because his siblings always knew everything, but they were avoiding him because they didn't want to deal with his feelings.
Or they didn't want to deal with him.
The thought made Hector's scream finally taper off. He choked and took a deep breath. He felt numb, and oh so tired. He took in a shuddered breath, rubbed his throat, and stood up. He didn't know where to go, and whenever he was feeling lost he would turn to his siblings for guidance. They always knew what to do.
Maybe they didn't want to be around him, but at the very least they would tell him what he was supposed to do just to get him away from the public before he hurt someone.
Hector's bearcats and Hamuel came with him inside. Maybe the animals weren't supposed to be in the castle, but he didn't know if he'd be able to keep going if he was on his own. He didn't feel like he looked like he was freaking out, and he wasn't glowering anywhere near as much as he normally would, but people that he passed still gave him panicked looks.
It shouldn't hurt. He had spent his whole life training just to look intimidating, but it still stung that people didn't trust him just because of how he looked. They shouldn't look more at ease with his growling bearcats than him.
Hector returned to the ballroom, expecting his siblings to be against the walls, wanting just a little bit of space from the loud party. Maybe it had been twenty five years since he had properly interacted with his siblings, but Hector didn't think that in that time Quirin would have grown to enjoy pointless pleasantries, or that Adira would like crowds. Even the King Edmund that he had known would have felt a little overwhelmed and lost with such a massive crowd so different from his own people.
But no, they were all in the middle of the crowd, laughing and talking, not looking the least bit bored or uncomfortable. Quirin had his arm around a teenager's shoulder. This must be the son that he had heard Quirin mention in passing. Hector didn't even know his name, and it hurt way more than it should that he hadn't been introduced to his nephew.
Either of them. King Edmund hadn't technically introduced Prince Horace to them either. Hector had just figured it out because of Edmund's new habit of speaking his thoughts out loud. Did Edmund not think that it might be nice to know that they had their heir back, and he happened to be tied to the sunny kingdom of Corona?
Even though Hector had always felt like he got along better with his brothers, he found himself drawn to his sister in this instance. He approached Adira, giving her tunic a sharp tug. She stiffened ever so slightly and turned to look at him. Her sharp and tense gaze softened slightly when she saw him. Hector had thought that he had been able to get a grip on his stupid feelings of vulnerability, but something must have shown in his eyes because her gaze softened slightly.
"Edmund's coronation?" Adira asked quietly.
"Worse." Hector said. Edmund's coronation had been shortly after Hector had joined the Brotherhood and still wasn't used to being around more than a half a dozen people at a time. Being thrown into a kingdom-wide celebration, and not being able to rely on Edmund or Quirin, who had been assisting the to-be-king, he had clung to Adira's side all night.
Hector had been embarrassed about his desperation for years, but now he wished he could feel like that again. At least his feelings had been more understandable back then. He was still new to the whole being around people thing, and had been thrown into the deep end. Now he was just overwhelmed for no good reason.
Adira didn't ask for specifics on what he was feeling, she just let him stand against her. Edmund and Quirin didn't look their way, but their sons did.
"Great, crazy rhino guy is back." Horace said sarcastically. Hector glowered at him.
"Prince Horace," Was all Hector said in return. The young man grimaced.
"It's, uh, Eugene, actually." The prince said. Hector raised an eyebrow at him.
"If you won't call me by my name, why should I call you by yours." Hector asked. He would much rather call the prince Horace, but, as his prince he would call him whatever he wanted. But only if he would return the effort. Prince or not, Hector wanted to be treated with basic respect. His siblings had spent years convincing him that it was the very least that he deserved, and he wasn't going to let a young adult, even a prince, take that from him.
Horace had the decency to look sheepish. "Hector then."
"Eugene." The knight returned. The two of them had a tense understanding with each other.
Quirin's boy was kneeling on the ground, looking at the bearcats with fascination. Hector was glad to see his excitement, but stronger than that was the sting of pain when he saw the way that Quirin kept a hand on his son's shoulder, as though to pull him back from getting too close. Quirin knew Hector's bearcats. He should know that they wouldn't hurt the kid.
Quirin didn't trust the bearcats anymore, and as such he didn't trust Hector.
"You know, they're not going to bite." Hector said. He aimed it at the kid, but he made sure to give Quirin a pointed look. His brother frowned slightly, but let go of his son's shoulder. He stayed close though, right within arm reach. It was barely better, but it was something.
Quirin's son was oblivious to the tension. He was overtaken with his curiosity.
"Are these binturongs?" The boy asked. "They're massive!"
"We just call them bearcats." Hector said. "They're my most loyal companions. They would never abandon me." Adira gave him a slightly disapproving look, but Hector wouldn't be swayed. If she, or their brothers, wanted to convince Hector that they weren't going to leave him on his own then they needed to really prove it.
"I have someone like that too!" The kid said happily. He stood up and looked around. He seemed to find what he was looking for, and he looked fondly annoyed about it. "Ruddiger! Bud, leave the apple tarts alone." Hector followed the boy's gaze to see a raccoon jumping off of the desert table. The creature scampered to the kid and climbed onto his shoulder. He pet the raccoon, which chattered happily.
"This is Ruddiger." The kid said. "He's always there for me, even if maybe I don't deserve it." Ruddiger nuzzled aggressively against the boy. It reminded Hector of what his rhino might do if it thought that he was being too hard on himself.
"The name's Hector." He said, feeling like an idiot even as he said it. Eugene had already called him that. The kid probably knew his name. Hector just didn't know any other way to get his nephew's name without embarrassing himself, and probably Quirin, by directly asking.
"Varian." The boy said. "You're in the Brotherhood, right?"
Hector felt the instinctive pride that came with being in the Brotherhood, but he also felt a new feeling of shame and slight fear. His loyalty and dedication had turned him into nothing more than a weapon. And now that the moonstone was destroyed, was the Brotherhood still a thing? Was Edmund going to disband them? Had he disbanded them years ago, and Hector was just the last to know?
Adira nudged Hector's arm, and he realized that he hadn't answered Varian's question. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm one of the knights of the Dark Kingdom."
Varian's eyes seemed to shine with eager curiosity. "What was it like? Did all of the knights have animal companions? Is it true that the Dark Kingdom is basically made of black rocks? How did you learn to survive?"
Hector loved talking about home, and all of his siblings knew it, so it was confusing and painful when Quirin pulled his son back again.
"Let's not bother Hector with questions." Quirin said. Varian frowned and gave his dad a look that was both wounded and slightly scolding. Quirin sighed and ruffled Varian's hair. "It's getting late, and we have a long journey back to Old Corona."
Varian still looked disappointed, but he was appeased. "Is Hector going to be staying with us, like Aunt Adira and Uncle Edmund?"
Hector stiffened and pushed closer to Adira, digging his fingers into her tunic. He knew it probably looked like he was trying to hide behind his sister, but he felt like if he didn't cling to her then he would start growling, shouting, and punching Quirrin in the face. If his siblings didn't like him right now, they definitely wouldn't if he did that.
But since when were Adira and Edmund aunt and uncle for Varian? Why was he the only one that was just 'Hector', without the attached uncle? Did the kid not know about his relationship with Quirrin? Or did he not want to acknowledge it because immediately he knew that he didn't want Hector in his family?
And Varian seemed to be under the impression that the Brotherhood were going to be staying with Quirin, at least for the night. This was news to Hector. He'd just barely been panicking about not having anywhere to go, and his siblings had been planning a sleepover without him. Had Quirin even meant to invite him at all, or had he just wanted Hector to be on his way, and now he had no choice but to invite him, or else he'd come off as cruel in front of his son.
Hector didn't know a lot about kids, but he knew that it was always tough to let them down. He had no qualms about disappointing children though. Better him than Quirin. Besides, Hector knew that he was the disappointment of the brotherhood. It was probably for the best that the kid learned that right away.
"Sorry, kid, domesticity isn't really my thing." Hector said. He started to pull away from Adira, intending to get his animals and find a cave to stay in until they found somewhere a little more permanant. He barely got anywhere before Adira grabbed his arm and pulled him right back to her side.
"I think you can stand to relax for a few days." Adira said. "You can't pretend that you're not exhausted. You forget, I was under the mind-trap's influence just as much as you."
Hector wasn't tired, at least not physically. He had the desire to curl up and sleep for the next several months, but that had nothing to do with fatigue.
But Adira was giving him a knowing look, and Varian looked expectant. Quirin's expression, like always, was impossible to read.
"Adira told me what happened at the Great Tree." Quirin said. Hector scowled. So, what? She'd told him that he had made the stupidest move in all of existence, destroying his own home in the process? "You're welcome to stay as long as you need."
Was Quirin doing this because he wanted him around? Was this a pity thing that he was doing out of obligation and nothing else? Did Quirin just want him nearby so he could keep an eye on him and keep him from destroying anything else? Hector didn't want to think that his brother was going to be trying a type of house arrest, and it didn't seem like something that the old Quirin would do, but Hector's mind was being stupid right now, and twenty five years was a long time for someone to change.
Hector really didn't know what to expect, and it sucked. His family had always been the one constant in his life, and now he was second guessing every single word that came out of their mouths.
Maybe spending some proper time with his siblings was just what he needed.
"Fine." Hector said. "But the bearcats aren't sleeping outside. They're inside with me."
Quirin gave him a small smile. "I think I can handle that."
Edmund stayed at the party for a few more minutes to spend some more time with Eugene, but the rest of them left. Quirin and Varian rode in a cart. They offered Adira a spot, but she looked at Hector, who had already set out on his rhino, and said that she would ride with him. He didn't know if she was just making sure that he didn't ride away and leave them, or if she wanted his company, or if she just thought that the rhino would be preferable to riding on a small cart with two others.
Hector didn't fight it though. He may not know what Adira's motivations were, but he liked her company anyway.
"You know," Adira said quietly to him as they followed behind the others. "Quirin isn't any scarier now than he was years ago."
"I'm not scared of him." Hector said tensely. He was confused, overwhelmed, and couldn't keep himself from panicking, but he wasn't scared. "I think it's the other way around."
Adira scoffed. "You don't honestly believe that Quirin is afraid of you, do you?"
"He's been in Corona for so long, he's probably started thinking like them." Hector said. "And I know that these people are scared of me."
"Coronan's aren't so bad." Adira said. "You're just not used to being around people. You'll warm up to them." She sounded so sure, but Hector knew that he wasn't just being paranoid. He knew looks of fear when he saw them, and the Coronans hadn't really been subtle.
It sounded like this was important to her though, and Hector didn't want to let her down. Arguably, it had been disappointment and disapproval in each other's lives decisions that they'd been estranged for a quarter of a century. Hector knew that things would probably fall apart between them sooner rather than later, and he knew that he would probably be the main reason behind it, but he didn't want to cause it so soon.
Hector sighed. "If you say so, Sister." He didn't really believe her, but if it meant keeping the peace and having somebody on his side for just a few days, he was willing to bite his tongue.