LACKING IN COMMAS

Remus, for lack of anything better to do on a Sunday night, was proofreading Sirius' report on the misuse of magic. Not only did he not have any valid arguments (his best being "Magic should not be used to do one's homework as it's easier to just get your roommate to do it for you") but there was also a great lacking of punctuation. "Magic is misused frequently especially—" Remus scribbled furiously. "Frequently comma especially." The door opened and James and Sirius came bounding in.

"Brilliant!" James was shouting angrily. "Brilliant!"

"What's brilliant?" Peter asked from reading a book in his bed.

"Certainly not this report," Remus mumbled.

"Don't kid yourself, Moony," Sirius said. "You know it's pure genius."

"I have ruined my chances with Lily… ONCE AGAIN!" James yelled.

"Honestly, James, you're never going to get any girl with that attitude."

"I don't want any girl, I want Lily Evans."

"Give it up, Potter. She's just a strange girl with no sense of fun."

"But… her eyes.."

"Do they glow?" Sirius asked, batting his long lashes.

"In the dark?"

"What? No. Although if they do, that might be rather neat. What do you think, Moony?"

"Nifty," Remus replied absentmindedly, adding in three commas to one sentence. Sirius snatched the scroll out of his hands.

"Lots of red ink there. All comments of praise, I'm assuming?"

"Of course."

Sirius glanced over the scroll. "You have an obsession with commas, you know. It's very unhealthy."

"There was not a single one in your report!"

Sirius waved his hand at him. "All commas are unnecessary. Window dressing."

A moan came from under the covers of James' bed.

"If you're going to jerk off, kindly do so after you think we're all asleep, like usual," Sirius said.

"ARGH!" James cried, tossing the covers off and sitting up. "Why do I always act like such a fool around her?"

"It's not just around her," Peter said helpfully.

"ARGH," said James again. "I'm going to sleep."

"Night, honey," Sirius said. He looked down at the scroll in his hand. "Do I really have to rewrite this?"

"Unless you want to hand it in with 'COMMA, YOU BASTARD!' written all over it… yes," Remus replied.

Sirius sighed dramatically. "But I'm so tired. Exhausted… fatigued even!"

"Poor you."

"Exactly!" Sirius sat on Remus' lap, making Remus go "oof!"

"You could rewrite it for me… since I'm so exhausted and all."

"I could, but I won't."

Sirius gave him his finest of puppy dog eyes. It was ridiculous really, Remus thought.

"No. Sirius…"

Sirius led a long finger across Remus' cheek, batting his eyes all along. Remus' heart was beating quicker than it ought to—abnormally, in fact. As Sirius' finger made its way down to his lips, Remus said:

"Okay! Fine. I'll do it."

"Yay!" Sirius jumped up from his lap. "Do a spell so it looks like my handwriting." He gave Remus a wolfish grin and bounced into bed. He closed his eyes and fell, or more likely pretended, to fall asleep.

Remus looked at the scroll with his red markings all over it. He thought of the way Sirius' finger had glided down his cheek. It had been a long night.