Thankfor all your reviews. i really appreciate it. I hope you'll like this chapter... HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!
"Tutor-Girl, you need to change your taste in clothes"
"really ? what do I have to wear to make you happy ?"
Brooke shows me a top and grins. It's very tight and I ask myself if I can wear this
"Brooke is right... you need to wear something more slutty !"
"no way, I'm not gonna wear this... and I think we are shopping for the baby"
"we are, but your baby needs a sexy mother no ?"
I take the top and go to cabin.
"If I don't feel good in it, you can persuade me to buy it, you know that..."
I can't believe they convince me to buy this... and two tops almost alike. This girls are crazy...
"you gonna be perfect for tonight"
"what's happen tonight ?"
I really don't like the conversation right now. Brooke looks guilty and Peyton watches elsewhere. They scheme something and it scares me. They don't talk and I know they up to something.
"Haley, you have to stay cool about what we are going to tell you... you need to relax"
"Brooke, you're scaring me, tell me..."
"tonight, there is a game and after that... a party"
"I'm not going"
"oh, you have to... Lucas will be there, we'll be there"
"like the rest of the team and Nathan... the boy I don't want to see again"
Brooke liftes her bag and smiles.
"we are gonna show to this damn boy what he misses. You will be sexy and you'll be with us... what do you want most that it ?"
"stay at home. Read a book. Watch some tv. There are plenty of things more interresting that I can do"
Peyton puts a hand on my shoulders
"you need to come... parties are fun... eventually"
"especially when you are pregnant with a jock's child who doesn't want it !"
"ok, stop being pathetic... you come... conversation over"
I watch them and I wonder how I can let them to this to me... I just can't... seeing him at school is harder to me but to a party...
I hate Brooke for making me wearing this top and this jeans, I hate Peyton for making me come to this party and I hate Lucas to agree with them. A party is not what I need now. I need to stay home, to relax and I really need Nathan's arms around me again. I'm standing in the kitchen with a soda in my hand... I want to take some alcohol but now I'm pregnant and it's certainly not recommended for the baby.
"I didn't know you'll be here tonight"
God, he is behind me and we are alone. I'm in his house and it's his party it was certain I'll meet him... why hadn't I thinking about this before ? Now I hate more and more my three friends.
"yeah, Brooke and Peyton will want come so here I'm !"
"you are closer to them than before"
"yeah I lost you I won someone else"
ok, this is not the right thing to say. What I am doing ? it's not like I can talk to him politely... no, he doesn't deserve that, he wants to abandon me and my child... I don't have to have regrets... he deserves more than my little verbal's fight.
"Haley, we talked about that and you know what I think... I want you, only you. I don't want to have to deal with a baby at only 16 and I really can't imagine me cornered like this"
"more I talk to you more I want to slap you"
"don't be like that"
"be like what ? a person with feelings ? an adult ? you really need to grow up Nathan because this child is here and I'm happy to have it"
now, more than ever I want to get drunk... I want to forget everything about my relationship with this jerk and I want to run away from him
"Haley, I promise you... if you get an abortion, it will be an us again... don't keep this baby"
"you know what... I don't want you anymore and more important, I don't need you"
I put my glass on the counter and I go out of the kitchen. And I come in the living room, I notice Peyton talking to Jake... this is unbelievable and it happens only in Tree Hill. I don't see Lucas but I see Brooke and Tim talking, when she sees me, she waves at me and I have no other choice except join her and her conversation with my ex's best friend.
"so Tutor-Girl, any luck tonight ?"
"no, especially in the kitchen"
I remark Nathan going out and I sigh. Why is it so hard for us to be together like all the couples around us ?
"hey, Haley. Is it true ? are you really pregnant with Nathan's baby ?"
"If I say no, will you believe me ?"
"everybody talks about this... The biggest new of Tree Hill since... Lucas's birth I think"
"God, I'm Karen now..."
I sigh once again and turn to Brooke.
"I think I'm gonna go walk on the beach ok ?"
"you want company ?"
"no, really I'm good. Maybe you can go to talk to Lucas... I'm sure you'll find something to talk about... and don't talk about me because it's very not the good subject now to begin to have sex"
"I'm sure I can find something"
I smile to her and I go. Once I'm outside, I'm feeling better. I start walking and I can think about anything except Nathan. I love him, I'm sure of it but I know he doesn't but I can't accept the fact he doesn't want the baby...
"you look for me ?"
"no, you are not my world anymore, don't you remember ?"
"Haley... I just want to talk to you. Not about the baby, or our relationship"
"there is nothing to talk except that"
he sits down on the sand and looks at me. I settle next to him and he takes my hand.
"did you have a fight with your father again ?"
"no, my mother"
I didn't know Deb was in town and when she's around, they never fight...
"I tell her about us... she started to yell at me and I wanted to defend myself... I was a jerk"
"you still are... Nathan, this is your thing... People are good to ride horses or be quiet more than 30 seconds and you, you are good to be a jerk and play basketball..."
"it's true... I play well to basketball..."
he starts laughing and I think this is the first time we speak about his life... sometimes when he came at night, after a fight with his father, he spoke a little about how he was angry and how he hated him.
"what did your mother say ?"
"she says that if I wanted you to have an abortion, I was really my father's son... did you know he wanted an abortion for Karen ? he asked her and she said no"
"yeah, I knew... come on, I have grow up around them, I know all the shit your father puts on Karen and Lucas."
"you know when I look at myself in the mirror, I want to do the right things but in the end... it's always the same... I screw everything and everyone... I hate this, I really hate this"
"maybe you can change..."
this conversation leads nowhere... he keeps telling me things opposite. He doesn't want the baby but he doesn't want look like his father.
"when I picture my future life in College, I don't see a child... maybe later, but not now"
"this is the problem Nathan, this baby is here... you can't deny this... maybe you will be there for it or maybe not... it's your choice... and it's my last attempt to make accept it... it's too hard for me, everytime it hurts because you push me, so I ask you once more time, do you want the baby ?"
I'm pretty sure, he will say no, but I can't help it, I have to ask him. I have to make sure, he doesn't want to do anything with me... and I ask him because deep inside of me, I want him to say yes.
"how can we do this ? a baby is a big step and you said it, I'm a jerk... maybe I'll be a jerk to this baby... I'll be like my father and the baby will hate me... this is how is gonna be"
"when I said you are a jerk, I meant with the others... with me, you are different.. you are nice"
"yeah, like when I said I didn't want this baby or when I pushed you away"
"even when you said this... Nathan, you don't know how much I love you... this is why I can bear your ego... you are wonderful in my eyes... Nathan... you are everything"
I talk with my heart. Maybe with that, he'll say yes... I guess something in his eyes, something I can't name...
"ok"
"ok ? are you ok for what I think ? you are ok with the baby ?"
I can repress my happiness, I smile like ever. I kneel down between his legs and I feel his hands on my hips.
"yeah, everything you want"
this is too much, I start to cry and he places his head against my chest. God this is so good and it's perfect. He starts to kiss my neck. I think he wants to do it now, here on the beach... he unzip my jeans.
"Nathan, we can't do it here"
"there is nobody around, we are alone and I want you now."
"please, we can go to your room, it's more private and I prefer this"
he smiles against my skin and his hands take my ass.
"ok, but everybody are going to see us go in my room... people talks..."
"I don't care... people talks about my pregnancy, let's show them how we made this baby"
"You and Nate ? he finally accepted the baby ?"
"yeah... he told me this yesterday"
Brooke smiles and looks towards Lucas waiting to her locker.
"and you and Lucas ?"
"let's just say, he made some things yesterday which changed my mind about a real relationship"
"I don't want to know... but explains me whitout details"
"this boy is great in bed"
I think I'm going to puke... and not because of the pregnancy. Brooke always told what she thinks but just now, she has to keep her mouth shut.
"anyway, I'm glad for you and Nathan... it's about time"
"tell this to him not me. I was ready since the beginning"
we meet Lucas and Brooke kisses him languishly. After that, Lucas looks at me and put his arm around my shoulder.
"so, when I wasn't around you take advantage and you run ?"
"what are you talking about ?"
"yesterday, when I was with Brooke. When I returned you weren't there"
I feel embarrassed now. Lucas thinks I left when he slept with Brooke but I was in the room beside his making love to Nathan. Brooke sees my position.
"hey, gorgeous. You remembered what we were doing in that rooom ? well, Haley did the same with Nathan"
ok, this is not what I think she said. Lucas would hate me for this... he doesn't say anything, he gives me this look that I can't help.
"Lucas, say something... anything... do you hate me ? do you want me to go ?"
"no, it's ok... so you forgave him... what did he say about the baby ?"
"he wants it but we don't know how we are gonna raise a child... we are so young"
I see Peyton and Jake talking near his locker.
"they look cute together"
"maybe broody girl finds his high school's lover"
I notice the face from Lucas and it breaks me. God, he was really in love with her and something tells me he still it. Brooke turns and looks at us.
"it's so cool. You have Nathan, I have gorgeous here and Peyton has Jake... this is a great time in Tree Hill... Friday's party will be so fantastic..."
I totally forgot about Friday's party... do you have to go there ? it's Nathan's house, I can go in and behave normally when I'm pregnant... His mother knows but not his father... God, it'll be a real disaster.
"hey James"
I turn my head to see Nathan sits next to me. He kisses my forehead and takes my hand.
"how are you ?"
"fine, you ?"
"perfect... I miss you this morning... hey, you look sexy with this new outfit"
I smile softly and I keep staring at the window. I want to ask him about his father and how he will take it but I don't want to ruin the mood... not now... not here.
"you know about this party Friday ? maybe we can tell about to everyone about the baby, what do you think ? this would be great and my dad won't yell at me"
this boy is thinking sometimes or he is really stupid ? when he say things like this I want to slap him and break up with him.
"tell me it's a really bad joke and soon you'll be more adult ?"
"what, you don't think it's a good idea ?"
"no, it isn't. Do you really imagine us tell to your father and the entire school I'm pregnant during one of those party ? God, this is stupid... How can you play basketball whitout sense of tactic ? You are really a moron... you know that ?"
"tell me it's your hormones who talk because if it is not I think you have a bad character and I want to break up with you..."
he smiles but I'm not amused... His pretty face doesn't work for me now.
"finish your sentence and you'll bless this child because it'll be the only you can have"
"now you are getting scary... I'm a little afraid of you.. this is what you want because you have it"
"I'm sorry... I didn't want to talk to you like this but... I'm a little over-reacted, it's just... we can't tell this Friday, it's too... out of the blue... your father makes a party for the basketball's team and face it, if we want this baby, we are gonna do some sacrifice and baskeball would be one of them... it'll break your father"
he sighs and looks deeply in my eyes.
"it is his dream, not mine... you are my future he is not...this baby is my son and I love him already, if he doesn't understand that, too bad for him, I'll not leave you... not now, not after the birth, not after that"
ok, Nathan Scott are really telling me this to me ??? Haley James, Tutor-Girl ? I can't believe this. Maybe he still doesn't love but maybe soon...
"Haley, look at me... You're my life... you are stick with me now..."
"it's ok, I can deal with that"