Ranma½ Quick Sketches
By: Psuriko
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ is still copyright of Rumiko Takahashi and I won´t try or think about making profits of it.
Authors Prolouge
"On Christmas Eve I got a book full with jokes and funny stories and decided
to make short stories with Ranma½-characters and in some cases me or Su-
chan will jump into the story to fill out certain roles."
We begin with one of my favorites:
1# Ranko: Ugh! Akane this lettuce tastes funny, what did you DO with this salad? (I can´t belive I eat this thing)
Nodoka: Akane-chan, did you wash the salad thoroughly?
Akane: Yes Nodoka-san, I did even wash the salad with washing-up liquid.
Ranko: Cough, water, call an ambulance. Starts to wash tongue with soap
2# The amazone-mother gave her noisy twins a bath.
When she had put them in their beds, one of the twins started to laugh.
Mother: What do you laugh at Ran-Ran?
Ran-Ran: You gave Lin-Lin a bath twice in a row. Hi,hi
Author´s note: That story is suppose to be when Lin-Lin and Ran-Ran is younger, maybe
seven years old.
3# Ukyo: Is Happosai having that "pull-up skirts on girls"-periode again?
Akane: Yes, but how did you know?
Ukyo: Well, Happosai tried to pull up Tsubasa´s skirt (without knowing that Tsubasa
isn´t female , but male) last week. It resulted in sending the geezer to hospital.
Ranma-chan: That explains why the old geezer haven´t showed up these last days.
4# Su-chan: Nabiki-sama, do you know what is behind the japanese economical wonder?
Nabiki: It´s because of the yenmanipulation.
Authors note: People talk about genmanipulation, but they have never talked about how
the "yen" can be so economicly strong .
5# Ryoga have found himself to be in one of Paris´many museums.
Ryoga: Whose skull is that?
Guide: That should be Napoleon Bonaparte´s cranium.
Ryoga: And that tiny skull over there?
Guide: Oh, that should be Napoleon Bonaparte´s cranium when he was a little kid.
6# When Akane was shopping in a big mall in Tokyo, she suddenly felt the impulse of buying a wig.
When she had bought the wig and adjusted it perfectly on her head, she suddenly saw Ranma outside fighting with the panda. Akane decided to steathly sneak up behind Ranma´s back and knock him lightly on the shoulder and whispered in one of his ears seducingly:
Akane: Excuse me, but would you mind to have an little adventure with me?
Ranma: No way, never! Ranma shouted with staring gaze, – You look to much like my
uncute fiancee´!
Psuriko: I can almost feel the tension in the air when the two loving couple looking at
eachother, like the time itself have frozen.
Su-chan: But oniisan! Su-chan thinks that Ranma will feel something bad happen in a
not so distant future…
7# Kasumi had been tricked by comercial to buy a new detergent that washed the laundry whiter then purest white. When Kasumi hung up the laundry on the rope, she thought to herself:
Kasumi: Sure, the shirts went sparkling white, but I still thinks that Ranma prefers his
shirts red and blue.
8# Ryoga have found himself to be on an egyptian museum.
Guide: Look here honorable tourists! This urn contains the Pharao´s ashes.
Ryoga: Wow! Did he smoke that much?
Su-chan says: Smoking is a bad habit, so quit smoking today!
9# Akane is talking with her friends.
Akane: I have a wonderful recipe on fried diced meat, onions and potatoes. Everytime I
tell Ranma the recipe he says that we should go out and eat on a resturant
instead.giggles
Akane´s friends: sweatdrop
Author´s note: I wouldn´t even poke on that dish!
Su-chan: But oniisan! I have eaten it myself and have let my pet-dragon "Tempest" to
try it.
Psuriko: Are you out of your mind! THaT "dish" could instead be used as ratpoison or
even worse: It could probably kill a rhino!
Loud stomping sounds are heard outside the author´s door behind scene
Psuriko: It couldn´t be, it can´t be… Su-chan! Looks upO.O
Su-chan: Yes oniisan, what do you want?
Psuriko: I remember that I had an appoinment at the dentists, bye!
slams backdoor
Su-chan: But Su-chan can´t remember that oniisan have an appointment at the
dentists, tough he even tries to avoid the regular dentist check-ups…
10# Ranma have recently learnt something important this morning.
Ranma: Akane, do you know that every time I breath out, someone dies.
Akane(with gasmask): Have you tried using mouthwash?
Ranma: No way! Now that old geezer is going to pay for trying to put that bra on me,
last Friday. grins evil
Su-chan says: Remember to regulary to eat something that would make your breath
smell good.
Author: Whops, I accidently breathed on your pet. sorryO.O
Su-chan: NO! Tempest can you hear me? Don´t walk towards the light in the end of the
tunnel!
Oniisan!loud stompings like GodzillaYou´re so mean! She didn´t even bothered you. tears in her eyes
Author: You mean like when Tempest fried my biology-experiment with
flowers?sweatdrop
Su-chan: Oniisan! I am going to report you to the "cruelty against animals police"
and greenpeace!
Author: Calm down Suchan, that dragon can´t be killed by a humans breath, see.
Tempest recovers slightly from that gas-attack
Tempest: Growl, roar, cough! (Su-chan translates: Cough, cough , that breath smells
worse then mustard gas. cough.)
Su-chan: Stupid oniisan! Now you´re not allowed to eat that "thing" with each meal.
Author: You mean garlic?
Su-chan: Quiet oniisan! Can´t you see that Tempest needs to recover from your fowl
breath coming from a mausoleum.
Here Tem-chii eat this plant to regain your strength and grow up to be a big,
Nice, strong grown-up dragon.
Author: Become adult again? Oh, no you don´t! Argh,THaT dragon is eating my plants
again! Argh!
11# Shinnosuke´s father speaks to his son:
Father: What a nice armwatch you got.
Shinnosuke: Yeah, I got it as a memento to not forget who I got it from.
Father: By who?
Shinnosuke: … I have forgotten.
12# It rang on the Tendo Dojo´s door and Ranma goes to open the door to find out who knocked.
Outside is a very wet Cologne standing on her staff in the hard rain.
Ranma: Hello old hag. Why don´t "mother-in-law(eeeeek, why do you make me say
that?)", don´t stand in the rain, but just GO home! (ha,ha) Wham! Ouch, why
did you hit me with the stick?
13#
Ryoga: Little girl, WHY are you staring at me when I have been fishing in two hours?
Why don´t you go and fish yourself!?
Su-chan: Because I don´t have the time and patience to do such silly stuff you are doing
Ryoga-kun. giggles
14# Ryoga have found himself been lost in a castle on Ireland rumoured to have ghosts haunting the castle.
Ryoga: Excuse me miss, but I have heard that it is suppose to be ghosts in this castle.
Young lady: Nonsense, it´s all rubbish! I have been here for more than four hundred
years and I haven´t yet seen any hmph,"ghosts".
15#
Author: Su-chan, do you know how the isrealits did protect themselves from the seventh sin in Ranma½-version?
Su-chan: No, oniisan I don´t know, please tell how.
Author: Well, according to the bible, the seventh sin is an angel that killed the oldest son
in each house where the frontdoor wasn´t soaked in goatblood.
In the Ranma-version, Happosai is the seventh sin. To ward of that devil you
need to nail a pair of manley boxershorts on the frontdoor. Voila! Ta-daa!
Su-chan says: This will also work when you don´t want to have Happo-geezer stalking
your lingeriebox, dearest female fanfic-readers. This is a rap for me. By!
Goes of to play with her petdragon "Tempest" outside.
Author: Okay,Sweatdrop well this the end of the first of three parts of Ranma½ Short
stories.
Author´s epilogue: Do you think it´s fun with these short stoies? Do you think I should kick out Su-chan´s petdragon "Tempest" from my other fanfic"Ranma and the beanstalk", or just re-name the dragon? R&R and tell what you think about these fanfic stories this far and if you want to give ideas on your own short stories with Ranma-characters.