My Ramblings:
Hullo everyone… Happy New Year to you all!
This is a relatively short chapter but I hope you won't find it lacking.
Disclaimer:
Hey Arnold! does not belong to me. I do, however, own the characters and plot not found in the original series and/or movie.
Behind Closed Doors
Chapter III - Never Thought
Because, just like you,
I've changed.
We're not who we were before
Oh, how quickly time flies
- Burnout, Sugarfree (revised English translation)
Helga looked up from her place in the front row, where she had been studying her script. Rob, who was playing Mr. Darcy, was onstage with Jacques, who was in Helga's English Lit class and was playing the charming Mr. Bingley. A small smile flitted over her face as she watched the two. Rob had natural stage presence and his good looks and his seemingly effortless acting made him the perfect Fitzwilliam Darcy while Jacques lovable charm and the friendly smiles that often touched his lips were completely Bingley.
Mr. Taupin, their drama adviser, asked one of the stage crew to get off the stage as he motioned for them to begin. Helga watched with fascination as Rob swelled his chest out and, with the slightest change in his expression, seemed to give off the impression that he felt nothing but complete distaste for all around him. Jacques had a small smile on his face, a sincere smile that would have had anyone doing his bidding with a single word.
"Come now, Darcy," said Jacques, completely in character now, "I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid matter. You simply must dance."
As Jacques said that, Rob unhurriedly moved his eyes around the room, seemingly scanning and studying each of the invisible people who had attended the gathering, disdain oozing from his entire being. He then said in a clipped, upper-class accent, "I certainly shall not. You should know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such a gathering as this, it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be punishment to me to stand up with."
"I should not be so fastiduous as you are," cried Jacques, "for a kingdom! Upon my honor, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this very evening; and there are several of them, you see, who are uncommonly pretty."
"You are dancing with the only beautiful girl in the room," said Rob, looking at Bianca Warren, who was playing Jane Bennet, the eldest of the Bennet sisters. Jane, who had been studying her script up till that line, grinned mischievously and winked at the two. The two continued, unfazed. Helga kept from cracking up by biting on her lip, forcing herself to continue watching the two.
"Oh, she is the most beautiful woman I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I must say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you."
"Which do you mean?" Rob turned around and looked at Helga, who was sitting a few chairs away from Bianca. His eyes bore into her, "Tolerable," he clipped, visibly sizing her up, studying her rudely, "But certainly not enough to tempt the likes of me."
Her mouth formed a smirk and stared back at him, acting infuriated and humiliated. Their act stopped there as they, letting go off their legendary control over their actions while acting, cracked up. Helga dropped the act and laughed as well. Mr. Taupin clapped to get them to focus again, though not without telling Helga that she should use the same expression on the actual thing. He was used to their antics and did not mind them joking around since he knew that the four of them (five, including Will, who was supposed to play Mr. Darcy but had backed out because he had to catch up with his schoolwork, giving up his role to Rob and settling for the role of wicked Wickham).
As they continued to rehearse, Helga felt the same calming wave of belonging she felt whenever she was in the company of these people.
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Arnold and Phoebe made their way to The Chameleon. Gerald had told them that he couldn't come since he had to cram his book report that was due the next day. A light drizzle had begun a few minutes before they reached the café and it grew stronger as they waited for Rob and Helga, who were coming in from their rehearsal.
The Chameleon was particularly empty that day, except for two occupied tables, not including the usual corner table they occupied. Arnold looked around and studied the several posters advertising plays, art workshops, some concerts, and pictures of the café's costumers performing on the platform that stood a little ways from their table. He spotted a few with Helga and a guy with dark hair, some with just the guy, and some with just Helga. Phoebe had informed him that they had a professional photographer in the staff, a friend of the owner, who came in every once in a while to take pictures.
"He's really good…You actually feel like the pictures are jumping out at you. And they're even in black and white," Arnold observed as their orders were placed before them. Phoebe nodded, "According to Helga, the black and white prints are more dramatic since you focus on the shadows and the expressions, instead of the colors."
Arnold nodded vaguely as he stirred his drink, a thoughtful expression on his face. They sat in silence for a few minutes as he continued to absorb the whole ambience of the cozy, semi-exclusive café. Phoebe, looking up from her notes, noticed that his gaze was fixated on one of the pictures on the walls. Following his gaze, her eyes widened with surprise when she realized that he was focused on a picture of Helga. It was one of her more applauded performances in The Chameleon, giving a passionate monologue of the feelings of a broken woman. It had moved many people, including Phoebe, to tears when Helga, losing herself completely and entering the soul and mind of the character she was portraying, had dropped to the floor, her voice trembling, soft, and yet strangely powerful, tears streaming down her face.
She was about to tell Arnold the story behind the picture but the sound of laughter filled the café. She and Arnold turned to the door where Helga and Rob had just burst in, soaking wet, panting, and laughing. They had obviously ran all the way from school. Finally catching their breaths, they made their way to the table.
Arnold studied the two, a strange feeling washing over him. So this was Rob, he thought, studying Helga's companion. Gerald and Phoebe's description of him were more or less accurate, including the way that his eyes brightened and significantly softened whenever he looked upon Helga. Their description of Helga oblivious attitude towards the whole thing was also apparent as she ignored Rob's expression and greeted Phoebe and him.
"Helga, I've got some extra clothes at the back. Even the ones you left there that one time," Rob offered as Helga dropped her bag and binder on the floor. The two drier teenagers watched as the two made their way to the backroom, still chatting animately.
Phoebe noticed Arnold's frown and raised an eyebrow, "Arnold, is something wrong?"
Taking his eyes of the door, there seemed to be mild confusion in his eyes as he looked at Phoebe. With a shake of his head, he said, "No. I guess I was just surprised by their entrance."
"You'll get used to them eventually. They're a pretty energetic, if a bit overwhelming, pair. "
"Hmm…"
"Are you sure nothing's bothering you?"
"Yeah," he said, running a hand through his hair. Appearing nonchalant, he then nodded towards the door, "So that's Rob?"
"Yes. Helga and he have been friends since freshman year."
"He looks…nice."
"He is," Phoebe said carefully, studying Arnold discreetly. Was that jealousy? It couldn't be…Not Arnold. Not now.
Before he could say anything else, the two thespians came out of the door, both dressed in black. Sitting down opposite Phoebe, who was sitting beside Arnold, Helga tied her still wet hair back with a silver band, "Good thing I left some of my clothes in Rob's locker."
Phoebe nodded, "Why did you, though?"
Placing himself beside Helga, Rob answered for her, "Remember that time when we went to that indie concert last month?"
Phoebe nodded, "Oh, yeah. We were supposed to come here afterwards but we crashed in your house instead."
"Yep. She left some clothes here to change into and she forgot to get it back from me."
Helga made a face at him, "I forgot it? You should've told me that you were still holding them hostage."
As the three friends continued to discuss that night, Arnold felt incredibly out of place. Phoebe, Helga…Both had changed, though the latter had the most apparent changes. He felt the strange, overwhelming desire to be part of their world. He watched as Rob and Helga argued for a few moments before bursting into laughter. Rob…Phoebe had told him that Helga kept only a relatively small circle of friends. The knowledge that Phoebe was no longer Helga's closest and best friend was, by itself, a troubling thought. To think that the one who had come to take Phoebe's place was a guy wasn't a completely welcome thought to him though he knew it was irrational and he couldn't justify nor explain why he was acting and feeling the way he did.
He suddenly became aware of a hand with long, graceful fingers waving in front of his face. Blinking, he realized that the owner of the hand was Helga, "Please tell me that you still don't have that little world of joy and happiness you used to disappear to in your head."
He flushed slightly at having been caught absorbed in his thoughts and not listening to them, let alone joining them. She took her hand back and said, smirking slightly, "We can't be that boring. I know we're not exactly from the exotic land of the Philippines but cut us some slack, Arnold."
He shook his head, "Sorry, I was just thinking about how it must be strange for me to just pop back into your lives. It almost feels like…intruding."
Deciding that it would be better if he wasn't there, Rob excused himself, saying goodbye to Arnold and Phoebe and telling Helga that he might drop by later. As soon as he was gone, Phoebe turned to Arnold, "We're sorry if you felt out of place. We shouldn't have been so insensitive. You're not intruding."
Helga took a deep breath before finally saying, "Look, it's your first actual day here. Your honeymoon period is over and you've got a lot to catch up on."
Phoebe and Arnold looked at Helga in surprise, not actually expecting her to be a voice of reason for Arnold. Ignoring Phoebe's raised eyebrows, she concluded, "And that's why we're here."
Arnold smiled, "Thanks, Helga."
Phoebe watched at the two's peculiar exchange. Helga continued to avoid Arnold's gaze while Arnold looked at her as if seeing her for the first time, which he probably was. Phoebe had noticed Arnold's reaction to her during his homecoming party and she had expected that he would try to create a friendship with her, having seen that she no longer seemed hostile of him. What she did not expect was Helga's attitude towards him. In actuality, she didn't know what to expect from Helga. She had never understood the full of extent of Helga's ― former or otherwise ― feelings towards him but it was obvious that Helga was trying her best to try to be civil towards him, even to the point of befriending him. Phoebe hid a smile as she took another sip of her drink. Helga was brave…She shouldn't have doubted her.
"Yeah, well…That's what we're here for," Helga said with a dismissive wave of her hand.
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Phoebe got on the bus, leaving Helga and Arnold watching it leave from the wet sidewalk. The rain had stopped and night was beginning overcome the day. He turned to Helga, "Can I walk you home? It would be nice to talk to you again."
She met his gaze and held it for a moment, as if pondering on giving whether an affirmative or negative answer. He slapped himself inwardly. He was probably pushing it but he couldn't help himself. He never had the chance to really get to know Helga, though he always thought that there was more to her than her former bully façade. This was his chance to at least have a one-on-one friendly conversation with her.
Slowly, she shook her head, an apologetic smile on her face, "Not today, Arnold." She wasn't ready to be alone with him, not yet quite ready to talk to him. Yes, she was willing to befriend him for his and her sake. He had been patient with her during the entire time they had been acquainted and she knew that he deserved nothing less than for her to help build a solid foundation for the two of them to develop their friendship. But she had been hiding from him all her life and that was what she knew. Old habits die hard…but that didn't mean she wouldn't try. She had become a person she liked, a person she was more or less proud to be. After years of anger and pain, she had finally allowed herself to calm her soul, to let those around her enter her life.
He looked crestfallen at her answer, having hoped for her to say yes. But he understood. They were entering a new landscape, foreign territory and it was Helga who had to make the most radical of moves. He had always been willing to befriend her while she had always pushed him away, more violently than she did with the others.
"I'm sorry," she told him quietly, her hand wanting to rest itself on his shoulder in an attempt to show that she was sincere, that she would want to talk to him, to spend time with him…but it just wasn't the time, she wasn't strong enough just yet. He nodded, "I understand."
She sighed inwardly, relieved, "I'll see you tomorrow, maybe."
"Yeah." He watched her turn to leave, her movements like a flowing river, placid and yet filled with emotion. Helga…the most enigmatic figure in his life.
Her back faded from his sight and he turned around, feeling a great calm wash over him. They would no longer return to the anger they once had, the resentment they once held. He would be patient and allow her to get used to him. He wanted Helga's friendship and her acceptance. She was a different person. He shook his head inwardly. No, this was who she was.
He wanted to know her after so many years of trying to figure her out.
End of Chapter 3
To The Reviewers:
ni9htdreame12 -- Sad to say, I'll be updating quite slowly for the next few months. I hope to have more time to write this by early April. I'll try my best to update during the remainder of our school year but…
Shahrezad1 -- The story unfolds further…I hope you continue to read this and won't forget about it since updating will be rare for the next few months. By April, I should be able to get to put back on my thinking cap and further the fic. If you want, though, you may contact me here: pepperminteuphoria (y!m) or (msn messenger).
Eienvine -- Glad you liked it! I don't want to be redundant so please check my message to ni9htdreme12 points.
Dream-sorcerous11 -- Thank you.. ) Helga deserved a second chance to make a new impression on Arnold.
Smoking Panda -- Oh dear. Just to avoid further redundancy, please scroll down to the Final Note…
Shinji Langley -- Thank you for taking time to review again! I really appreciate the fact that you're still hanging around here…Haha…
Final Note:
If you didn't read my final note in the last chapter, I will say it again…
Back to school I go from our Christmas break and I'll be swamped with schoolwork until March. Will hope to return by late March or early April, depending on how fast we get clearance through. I hope you will still be hanging around by then.
On a brighter note, I'm feeling quite happy with this fic which means that I'd be putting more effort into it and I'd have an easier time with the flow of the story compared to the others I'm writing just so I can finish it. This has truly been a gamble for me because, as I said, I don't get to watch Hey Arnold! all that much anymore and it's my first attempt to write an HA fic. To get to the point…
Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! You're making my writing this worth the while and I feel more determined to write this fic well for all of you.
I'm looking forward to coming back but, until then…
Ja ne, minna-san!
- umi -