3. (A/N: Weird, vague chapter)
When I walk in the street it is crowded. People walk by, in and out of the stores.
But I don't see them. My head is lowered, my eyes looking at my feet. I'm in deep thought.
I walk and walk and don't know where I'm going, until I stop at the graveyard.
For the first time since my father's burial I come here. I take a deep breath and walk through the gate.
The weather is changing. It turns from a sunny day into drizzle weather. I walk slowly, but must see the inevitable that I come to his grave one time. I stop before his grave… Tears are growing in my eyes and falling down my face. I kneel down and look at the stone.
'Hee, dad…' I whisper.
'…It's hard without you… Mom doesn't show it but she has the most trouble with it…' I begin.
'…She says that she has to move on and so she's going out with Harry again…' I continue with an unstable voice. Then I stop and have the strangest feeling that some-one is watching me. I stop and look behind me. No-one is there. A shiver runs down my spine. I realize that I'm alone and it so quiet, so deadly quiet…
I frown and look back at the tombstone. As a cold wind runs through my body, the tombstone changes into the head of my father and smiles at me. My eyes grow of fear and I look how he tries to tell me something… then the stone turns back into its normal shape again. I stand up and run as fast as I can away from the graveyard.
When I come home I find myself alone. It is eight o' clock; mom should have been home by now. I come into the kitchen and see that mom left a note.
Jeanne,
Harry and I are to the cinema, don't wait for me.
Kisses and a big hug Moms.
'WHAT!' I shout out. 'HOW DARE THEY?' I yell furious.
Gritting, cursing and killing Harry over and over in thought I walk to the living room. There I find out that I don't have any chips. Cursing I turn again and walk back to the kitchen. I stamp back into the kitchen and take the chips. I walk back to the living room and sit down at the couch and click the TV on. As I watch the movies I suddenly have the strange feeling that my dad is sitting next to me. I look to my right and there he sits. All transparent but he sits there.
'Hee dad.' I say my eyes getting wet of the tears that are welling up.
'Hee Jeanly.'
I smile sadly. 'What are you doing here?' I ask softly.
'Watching the movie with you.' He answers.
I look back and I wish with whole my heart that he would be alive right now so that he could take me in his arms and hug me. When the movie is ended I stand up and take it out the recorder. I turn and see my father then I hear the door open and two laughing voices come to my hearing. My eyes narrow themselves.
'It is not worth it Jeanly.' I hear my dad.
'If they are happy, then don't do it. Your mother is happy, don't take that away now.'
'But…' I can't finish my sentence.
'Jeanne, aren't you in bed yet?' I hear my mother ask. I look up at her. Her hair has fallen out the knot and her lipstick is gone. Her dress is disordered.
She wears a short black dress and a pearl necklace with matching earrings. I recognize of a present my dad gave my mother for her thirtieth anniversary. I look back at the couch and see that my father is gone. Did I dream it? I look back at my mother and say: 'No…' I say coldly.
'…I'm not. I watched a few videos. I thought we would watch that together, unless I'm not mistaken it is Friday.'
I look at the clock. Fifteen past twelve.
'That is, it was Friday.' I still say cold.
When she sees the movies laying on the table my mother suddenly realizes what Friday is for day, it is our movie night. We rent movies then and watch them with chips and tissues. 'Ow honey I'm so sorry.' She begins and walks up to me.
'Save it mom.' I say. I want to walk away but then Harry stands before me. He looks angry.
'Do you have no respect for your mother?' He asks me.
'What's that suppose to mean?' I snap at him. 'I have a lot of respect for my mother… but not for you. I don't have to explain myself to you. You're not my dad. Why don't you go back to your son? He needs you more now then my mother does right now.' I grit through my teeth. We look at each other. In thought I kill him, but I'm not a murderer. But hey, it is in thought. And you do so many things in your imagination.
When I walk in the street it is crowded. People walk by, in and out of the stores.
But I don't see them. My head is lowered, my eyes looking at my feet. I'm in deep thought.
I walk and walk and don't know where I'm going, until I stop at the graveyard.
For the first time since my father's burial I come here. I take a deep breath and walk through the gate.
The weather is changing. It turns from a sunny day into drizzle weather. I walk slowly, but must see the inevitable that I come to his grave one time. I stop before his grave… Tears are growing in my eyes and falling down my face. I kneel down and look at the stone.
'Hee, dad…' I whisper.
'…It's hard without you… Mom doesn't show it but she has the most trouble with it…' I begin.
'…She says that she has to move on and so she's going out with Harry again…' I continue with an unstable voice. Then I stop and have the strangest feeling that some-one is watching me. I stop and look behind me. No-one is there. A shiver runs down my spine. I realize that I'm alone and it so quiet, so deadly quiet…
I frown and look back at the tombstone. As a cold wind runs through my body, the tombstone changes into the head of my father and smiles at me. My eyes grow of fear and I look how he tries to tell me something… then the stone turns back into its normal shape again. I stand up and run as fast as I can away from the graveyard.
When I come home I find myself alone. It is eight o' clock; mom should have been home by now. I come into the kitchen and see that mom left a note.
Jeanne,
Harry and I are to the cinema, don't wait for me.
Kisses and a big hug Moms.
'WHAT!' I shout out. 'HOW DARE THEY?' I yell furious.
Gritting, cursing and killing Harry over and over in thought I walk to the living room. There I find out that I don't have any chips. Cursing I turn again and walk back to the kitchen. I stamp back into the kitchen and take the chips. I walk back to the living room and sit down at the couch and click the TV on. As I watch the movies I suddenly have the strange feeling that my dad is sitting next to me. I look to my right and there he sits. All transparent but he sits there.
'Hee dad.' I say my eyes getting wet of the tears that are welling up.
'Hee Jeanly.'
I smile sadly. 'What are you doing here?' I ask softly.
'Watching the movie with you.' He answers.
I look back and I wish with whole my heart that he would be alive right now so that he could take me in his arms and hug me. When the movie is ended I stand up and take it out the recorder. I turn and see my father then I hear the door open and two laughing voices come to my hearing. My eyes narrow themselves.
'It is not worth it Jeanly.' I hear my dad.
'If they are happy, then don't do it. Your mother is happy, don't take that away now.'
'But…' I can't finish my sentence.
'Jeanne, aren't you in bed yet?' I hear my mother ask. I look up at her. Her hair has fallen out the knot and her lipstick is gone. Her dress is disordered.
She wears a short black dress and a pearl necklace with matching earrings. I recognize of a present my dad gave my mother for her thirtieth anniversary. I look back at the couch and see that my father is gone. Did I dream it? I look back at my mother and say: 'No…' I say coldly.
'…I'm not. I watched a few videos. I thought we would watch that together, unless I'm not mistaken it is Friday.'
I look at the clock. Fifteen past twelve.
'That is, it was Friday.' I still say cold.
When she sees the movies laying on the table my mother suddenly realizes what Friday is for day, it is our movie night. We rent movies then and watch them with chips and tissues. 'Ow honey I'm so sorry.' She begins and walks up to me.
'Save it mom.' I say. I want to walk away but then Harry stands before me. He looks angry.
'Do you have no respect for your mother?' He asks me.
'What's that suppose to mean?' I snap at him. 'I have a lot of respect for my mother… but not for you. I don't have to explain myself to you. You're not my dad. Why don't you go back to your son? He needs you more now then my mother does right now.' I grit through my teeth. We look at each other. In thought I kill him, but I'm not a murderer. But hey, it is in thought. And you do so many things in your imagination.