Hi,
My muse (whom is back from her seemingly endless hols) is urging me to start writing again. (laugh It has been like 3 years since I wrote my last fanfic, so please bear with my extreme rustiness.)
STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLIED: I do not own Heero, Trowa, Relena, the Preventers and so on.
Date written: 04/11/2004 (Five days before my first exam...)
Language: British English (I'm not a native English speaker so I do apologise in advance for any grammatical or spelling mistakes. I do use spell-check, but at times mistakes still do occur.)
Warnings: yaoi (as usual); 1x3 (my all time fave GW pairing), implied 1xR.
A PATH OF DESTINY --- THE PERFECT CHOICE
On certain nights, when all is at peace, and I've time on my hands, I'll dig out a plain little black book and pour all my latest thoughts into it. My journal: A book that contains snippets that tells the tales of my life. And today is such a night... a peaceful and quiet night, with only me and myself for company (as Heero is still stuck at the Preventers office wadding his way through swamps of reports), so I open up my journal to the first available blank page and start penning...
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4th Novenber AC 197.
Dear Diary,
I remember an evening not too long ago when I was sitting alone in the dwindling twilight, high up on a cliff top overlooking the circus below. The circus... my home... my foster family... a place that I never would have thought would exist for a nameless nobody like me.
I remember that I was fiddling away with my silver flute (a gift from my wartime best friend Quatre), when I heard the cracking and snapping sounds that were made when dry leaves and brittle twigs were trodden upon. I turned around to face the source of distraction, and was surprised to see him... the magnet of my deepest and utmost admiration... the Perfect Soldier... the perfect being, Heero Yuy.
He continued on with his quiet stroll towards me. His beautiful cobalt blue orbs were locked on with my plain forest green eyes. And I found myself being pulled into their depths, and becoming a willing victim of drowning in those shinning blue pools... The sweet, gentle breeze was ruffling his unruly hair, tempting me... taunting me to reach forth to touch them too. But being the avoider of emotions that I was, I didn't dare... and so I was forced to cut off my impulses and called upon the tight control of the stoic Pilot 03.
With my mask on, and my impulses suppressed, I was once again able to greet with my perfected monotone. "Heero," I said.
"Hn. Trowa," was Heero only given response.
At that time, all available sources of Heero Yuy (both reliable and not) hinted that he was 'playing house' with Relena, hence I could remember wondering why he would after months without any form of contact with me, suddenly manifested himself physically in front of me. And I remember thinking to myself that 'herein lays the alluring mystery that is coded as Heero Yuy.' The mystery that I had always yearned to solve.
So I had asked, "Why are you here? Where's Relena?"
In response, he had said something along the lines of, "She is a nice girl... gentle and caring, and... she had show me there is more to life... than war and bloodshed... and I had thought that... that I had loved her, but.... Well, I guess I do love her, but... but I guess I'm not in love with her. I never knew the difference before... but now... I've realised that she is not the one... not the one that my heart wanted... and so I followed my emotions and left her. She is sad... but, she understands and so she... she asked me to follow my heart and set me free. I love her but I just come love her that way... the way she had wanted... I love her like a... like a..." (Well, I'm surprised that I could remember so much of what Heero had said that day... but... I guess... I do have a pretty good memory... Sometimes too good I would say... after all many a times I would remember stuffs of my past that I would have been much better off forgetting... Though I did have amnesia once... and well... it's not too much of a fun to have it, when you are having it. It was like blundering your way through a thick fog in utter confusion... directionless...)
Well... anyway, Heero (like me) is not a man of much word nor is he one who bothers with explaining his actions. Yet, there he was struggling to find words, clumsily blundering his way through explaining his emotions. Oddly enough, I found it touching... touching to see him trying so hard to reach out towards me; to disclose his feelings to me; to reveal a glimpse of his inner self to me. So, I decided to aid him out in sorting out his thoughts and supplied, "Like a sister."
"Yes, Like a sister. I love her, but... but... its not the way I thought it was..." He mumbled somewhat inaudibly, as he stared off into the darkening sky. His eyes appeared wistful. At that time, a fleeting thought had passed through my mind. I remember that I had wondered what he was wistful about. I remember pondering whether he too (like me) had wished to have someone to love... someone to hold... and to call my own...
I remember that I had reached out slowly and hesitantly to place a hand on his shoulder. An attempt to offer comfort, and along with it a silent gift of my companionship... my friendship... and my deepest wishes, that of my love...
"You love her like the way I love Catherine," I had said.
"I should hope so," was his gruff reply, "I do hope that you see Catherine as only a sister. Or else I wouldn't be able to do this." He smirked and then leaned forward and captured my lips in his own, and I was set on fire... hot, molten fire that burnt through the innermost core of my soul and melted away the icy walls that I had erected up to protect my fragile inner being from the harsh realities that was my life.
When we finally broke apart to breath, he looked straight into my eyes and said, "Will you come with me and be what Relena cannot?"
Without a single doubt in me, I nodded. When such a golden opportunity presented itself in front of me, what else could I had done, but reached forth and grasped on tightly to it. After all what else was there to it? I mean who in a right mind wouldn't want to be in my place, and be gifted with the chance of being with Heero? (I knew for sure that Relena, Duo, Quatre and Zechs would have wanted to. And I do think that even the seemingly impassive Wufei would be tempted too. Frankly, I even sensed that Sally and Noin had been fascinated by Heero...)
Besides, Heero Yuy had and would always accomplish whatever he sets out to do... for he is Perfection... and so how can a Nobody like me have the right to hinder Perfection from reaching his goal? I should be grateful and thankful that Perfection even bothered to choose me and set me up as his heart's goal. And I am thankful, very much so. Moreover, most importantly, I love and desire him, so why would I even think about rejecting his offer?
And so with the occurrence of that evening, my path in life was set. My destiny had been caved into solid stone by the steady hands of one Heero Yuy...
Nanashi
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"Ding Dong, Ding Dong." The wall clock chimes as its needles strike the stroke of midnight, and rousing me up from the deepest depth of my retrospective mind. What I do know is that I have never regret and I will never regret laying the path of my destiny into the strong and stable clutches of Heero Yuy... The Perfect Soldier of the wartime... who is now the Perfect Lover in time of peace. My Perfect Lover. For like I've always say, "Whatever Heero does, he does it in perfection."
The room door creaks open, and he enters... My Heero... My Perfect Love...
I stand up and walk forth in quick strides into the open embrace of my heart's destiny... my soul's life. This is my latest chosen route in life, and I know with total confidence that I've made the perfect choice.
The End.
(Please review. Thank you.)
Just a little comment: Personally, I think that Trowa's eyes are very lovely, but well I used the words "plain forest green eyes" as this is a Trowa's POV, and I think that Trowa is one who does not realize or flaunt his own beauty.