Argentum: Whelp… we haven't been active in a while… mainly because we're focusing on a secret project. One we've been working on since the moment we all teamed up.

Grel'Slyfer: Which is why we're making this story as our own little side thing. All the while the other two will work on the secret project.

Argentum: Exactly. Oh yeah say hello to my mascot of a sorts. Grel'Slyfer… if you're a fan of our works you'll very quickly see just what he is.

Grel'Slyfer: Precisely! But more about me as the story goes on.

Argentum: Yep in which we hope you enjoy since this story will be mostly comedic. Using worlds we haven't quite explored yet in our other stories. Yet still tying into them.

Grel'Slyfer: Hope you all enjoy. And please don't hold the idiotic goddess against us.

Idiotic Goddess: HEY! I'm not stupid! You just can't trul-(insert clonk noise)

Argentum: My point exactly. Now enjoy the story.

Grel'Slyfer: And now to keep in line with all other Dark Guard stories here's a disclaimer. We here at the Dark Guard productions own nothing but OC's, and Reality building concepts. Everything else belongs to their respective owners. Now without further ado…

Grel/Argentum: Here's the story!

Hello= Regular talk

Hello= Thoughts

[Hello]= Radio

(Hello)= Telepathy/Mind reading

Chapter One: MAth is everything Or how I started my journey to break reality.

I was normal once… so very long ago. Makes me wonder just how I ended up the way I did. I mean not like I meant to end up this way… or maybe I did? It's been so long I simply can't remember. Ah well… guessing my forth wall breaking monologue is confusing you. Let me start at the beginning. The very beginning! Actually never mind if you want to know the beginning read Rodrick's story. Basically how things were canonized… read the first bit of the void emperor's prologue if you're that curious. So let's just start with my beginning… Over 3000 years ago.

It started out like any other day… I woke up, made breakfast, went to school, went to my archery club, and then watched as the city burned down around me. Yep just an average day indeed. Well… normal by our standards. For the world was at war with itself. All thanks to evil people who wanted to conquer it yadda yadda. It just so happened That on this particular day my city which was on the coast of Washington state… was attacked. As for me… well I did what any normal person did in that situation... even if I'm not proud of it.

"AHHH! Help me!" Yep scream and run around as if I was chicken without a head. Pretty sure most of you would do that. Anyways as these things were happening enemy soldiers started pouring into the city… and they started shooting. It was horrific... and I'm pretty sure I was scarred pretty heavily from it. Blood was everywhere… the smell of burning flesh filled my nostrils, and the sounds… the screams were the absolute worst of it. You haven't seen or heard horror... until you have heard the sounds of despair coming from children as their parents die. From parents as their children die… or simply the sounds of pain from those tortured. At the time the only thing I could do was hide. I was at the school thanks to my archery club and despite the sounds of despair. I holed up in the club shed with a few others.

At the time I was only fifteen and in my first year of high school. The only thoughts going through my head at the time were thoughts of anger and fear. Of disappointment at never growing older… Even depressing thoughts such as never having a girlfriend. Yeah in know what some of you may be thinking… but hey! I was a teenager! Cut me some slack. Now in most stories such as this… there'd usually be the moment where the bad guys stomp in, and I sacrifice myself for others. That…that didn't happen… No instead like some of you may also be thinking… I died… simply because of something no one could control. You see there was an air battle taking place above us.

Then the ironic thing happened. In our safe little storage shed armed with bows and arrows… a fighter jet was shot out of the sky and it landed on our little fort. And so… we all died… ironic isn't it? Funnily enough I didn't find out what happened to my city until much… much… later. By then I didn't really care. But that is a story for later. For now its time to truly begin the tale. The tale of Argentum Umbra Pendragon… MY tale.

Line break we are… line break you aren't

Right after dying Horribly in a flaming inferno

After my death I expected many things… What I didn't expect was to see a long blue haired girl in a blue dress, sitting in basically a fancy chair addressing me. Then again I wasn't expecting to die that day either so… my expectations were subverted already I guess.

Though the way she talked made it seem as if she was saying a rehearsed line…"Greetings mortal. Your time has come to an end. And I the goddess Aqua am here to guide you on journey to your next life."

I blinked for a moment before speaking. "Okay…" Hey what else was I supposed to say?

Unfortunately she seemed rather off put by that. "Okay? Really? All the others I've guided today cried and begged me to have mercy on them. Or to allow them more time, or show them how they died and how it affected those around them! Man just my luck to get a boring guy today…" My eye twitched at that. "Oh well let's get this over with. So you're dead. Boohoo so sad." My eye twitched even more at her callousness. "So I'm here to either send you to heaven or let you get reborn. But let me tell you… neither one of those options are all that appealing. I mean you don't get to have sex in heaven and you lose all your memories after a rebirth. And who wants either of those things?"

I mulled it over and shrugged. "I mean if I lose my memories and start over it won't really matter to me so-" I was cut off by the blue so called goddess.

"But it ain't fun at all! Listen there's actually a third option if you want to hear it?" I just shrugged making her scowl at me. "I hate you already. But anyways! What we can do is send you to a whole nother world! Best part is… we'll send you over with a power up and knowledge of the basic language! Come on what do you say?"

I gave her an odd look. "What's the catch?"

She deflated at that. "Well it's a fantasy world… so it's full of magic… and monsters. And a demon kind threatening it BUT! With my blessing you should do just fine!"

I gave her a blank look before getting an idea. "Question… are your superior's making you do this?" I took a shot in the dark to see if she indeed have a boss. Thankfully by the way she deflated and started tearing up… I guessed right.

"You have no idea! They work me to the bone! Telling me… Aqua you got to do this… you need to do that… behave more in front of the mortals…ARGH! I hate them!"

Just like I'm starting to hate your whining attitude. After taking a deep breath I initiated my plan. "Well… I'm sure that if you save this world you mentioned. They'll promote you easily! Then they won't be able to say such horrible things to such an esteemed goddess like yourself." I swear I was dying a second time as I said those words.

She sniffled. "Really?" I gave her my best smile.

"Totally! In fact I can help you out. I'll save the world in your name. I just need your help with that." She gave me a confused look as I continued. "You see…im sure there's a list of powers or whatever for me. But I'd like to ask for something custom. Nothing too big just something I know will help me. So what do you say? You give me this power and I slay the demon king for you. Promoting you to a higher position."

She seemed suspicious at first… but the promise of a higher promotion won her over. "Deal! Just tell me what you want and I'll give it! As long as it's not too big." And hook line and sinker. It was too easy! And based on her apparent intelligence I doubt she'd ever truly understand what I'm about to ask of her.

"Splendid I knew a goddess like yourself would be open to this." Just she smiled and puffed her chest out in pride. "What I want is technically a part wish. I want one eye to be able to see the calculations of the world around me, while the other eye can see the magical calculations. Secondly I would like a mind capable of handling and understanding those calculations. Of course I'd like to turn the eyes part on and off. But that's it." As I predicted I was only met with confusion. But she stood up and spoke anyways.

"Well I don't know how math will help you but whatever. I hereby grant you Michael Smith the power to go forth to this new world of fantasy!" As she said that a magic circle of some kind appeared around me. It glowed a bright light and I started floating upwards. "Go and save this world. And should you find yourself successful the gods will bestow upon you any wish you desire! Now go and life your new life!" I could only grin at that. I knew I was about to have some fun. If I survived that is…

Line break we are… line break you aren't

When the light around me died I found myself in a town of sorts. And judging by the awful smell… a rather medieval one. But I suppose I should've predicted this since that fake goddess did say it was a fantasy world. Thankfully I could understand the voices of those around me. So what she said about the language proved true at least. That's when I decided to try my new power… there was only one problem. She never told me how to use it… So taking in a breath to calm myself I decided to use it by pure will power! And I failed… great… guess I'll just need to find a way to use it later then. With that thought I decided the best thing to do was to seek out employment. Thankfully everyone was nice enough to point me to a guild of sorts.

I'll be honest I had no idea what a guild was. As a person who spent more time practicing archery, studying physics, and kempo… I never really played any games before. Or really read any fantasy books. Though because I decided to help people out, and do some minor odd jobs along the way I got some money. Turns out the money of this world was called Eris. Managed to get a little bit before dusk as I walked into the guild building. Now being knowledgeable on what it actually was thanks to the people I helped. Once I entered I felt out of my depth. Everyone was rowdy and drinking, while waitresses went around serving food and drink.

"What have I gotten myself into…" Apparently someone heard that and laughed. Causing my attention to go towards them, the one who laughed was a large and muscled dark skin man. Had a few scars and a slight Mohawk; even had a small beard and mustache.

"New around here eh? Least with that bow you seem more capable then most newbie's. Hehe… welcome to hell." With that I gave him a deadpanned look, before nodding and going up to what I thought was reception desk. This only caused him to laugh even more. But now that he mentioned it I was a little relieved to have come with the stuff I had on before I died. Bow and arrows included. Brushing a hand through my black hair, I approached a blonde receptionist who was manning a desk.

Taking a look at her name tag and ignoring her… well rather large chest I spoke to her. "Hello to you this evening. I'd like to register with the guild and become an adventurer please." As it turned out that was an actual profession in this world. A job going out seeking treasures and killing monsters, and according to those I talked to by killing them you get something called exp that lets you level up. This increases your stats or abilities which make you stronger. You also apparently get skill points. No idea what most of that was but I was sure I could figure it out.

The receptionist smiled at me professionally before nodding. "Sure that will be fine. Just need to sign some documents and a registration fee. " Nodded and handed over a few eris from the small pile I had. Leaving me about… I believe thirty left over. After that she got out from behind the desk with a card and some papers. After signing the papers she led me over to a blue crystal orb on a stand. She also explained the different functions of the card.

After it was all done she directed my attention back to the orb. "Now then place your hand over the crystal." I did so as she placed the card under it. After a few seconds of the orb glowing she picked up the card and read off the card. "Now let's see what you have… Oh your strength and luck are average though a bit higher in strength and lower in luck. But you have good Dexterity and agility! But my! Your intelligence is incredible! With these stats you could be a number of classes."

Around me I could hear people whisper excitedly. "Hehe… well I'd like to use a bow, sword, and magic when needed… any class for that kind of thing?" She put a finger to her chin and thought for a moment.

"Well… I suppose the ranger class would work best for you. They can learn some of the wizard spells, and also some skills from the fighter classes. And they use a bow. Would you like this class?" After thinking it over and asking about a few more classes I eventually settled on ranger. After updating my card she handed it to me. "Here you go. Now don't lose it or else it's a five hundred eris fine to get a new one." She said that seriously so I nodded my head, and asked her a few more things about this the jobs available.

After that I went up to the job board. Where there were quite a few different jobs available. "Wow… quite diverse… well best to start with the basics." And that's what I did… and by basics I mean vermin extermination… which was located in the worst smelling place of all… the sewers. Thankfully the pay was based on how many "vermin" you killed. And by vermin I mean giant rats, and bugs, and snakes. Usual fantasy stuff…

Thankfully I had a bow and arrow and a pocket knife. Each kill was worth 10 eris. So I worked hard and eventually got quite a bit. Worked through the night to, eventually I left in the morning and quickly used a public shower to clean off. Used the rest of what I had left but it was worth it. After that I made my way back to the guild and showed Luna the receptionist my guild card. Using it as proof for my kills, after some calculations I ended up earning two thousand eris and a level up. It actually depressed me that after killing two hundred of those over sized pests that I only got one level.

And seeing how I had no skills yet… I put that into strength thinking that would be good for later. Seems like it's pretty easy to level up in the beginning then…hopefully I can keep this up.

Shaking away those thoughts I went and asked Luna about lodging. "Hmm… well we have rooms available here. The cheapest cost two thousand eris a day, though we have a small discount for guild members. So nineteen hundred eris a day for you." I ran the numbers through my head. And they didn't look pretty, I was already spending almost all of my money on a room for one night. And I doubted I could kill vermin forever. Eventually their numbers would thin. But with a sigh I paid for the day and went to my small slightly dirty room. Shaking my head I took a small nap before heading back to the guild hall.

Once there I used the rest of my money to get a loaf of bread with some cheese and water. While eating I used that time to once again use my eyes. Thankfully it went a lot better this time, for I saw a bunch of numbers pop up for just a moment. Numbers which I thankfully understood without my brain frying. Have to at least thank Aqua for that… no matter how useless she seemed. Sighing I got up and went to look for more work. Thankfully I found some in construction. So signing up I used the rest of the day to work and practice with my eyes. My plans for becoming god like while very slow was working.

After my work shift for the day was done I went and killed more vermin. Not killing two hundred like the night before. But a decent amount… also turns out the money I made for the construction was pretty good to… well if I wanted to barely live that is. Ended up getting six thousand eris for the day's work. Spend about five hundred on food, thirty on a bath, and then another nineteen hundred for another day. Leaving me with three thousand five hundred and seventy left… gear was expensive costing quite a bit. Been picking up my arrows and reusing them. Unfortunately my knife broke earlier so I'm currently left with my fists. A knife costs around twenty five hundred.

And a sword was thirteen thousand… I was beginning to understand why most adventures started out sleeping in the stables. Luckily I wasn't too afraid of hard work, and was used to not having too much to eat. Unlike the other guys who ate and drank all the time, no I was more interested in saving as much as possible. "Okay… I make at least five thousand a day with construction… then I do pest control giving me an average of probably nine hundred to at least eighteen hundred. So…" I kept mumbling in my room as I thought about my money gains and expenditures. After a bit of thinking I eventually got my plans ready.

After that I started to think about the events that brought me here. Immediately I felt nauseas and rubbed my temples. Desperately trying to stop thinking of the horrors I saw and heard. Both before and after I went into the club shed. Shaking my head I laid down on my rented bed. Taking deep breaths to calm down. After a bit I decided to sleep, however like my waking moments… the terrors would haunt me for some time to come. And so began what I liked to call… my training montage. A training period that lasted for the next few months. It was very… very… grueling.

Argentum: Well that's it for chapter one. Hope you enjoyed it.

Grel'Slyfer: I did. Watching you suffer was fun.

Aqua: HEY! Why did you make me seem so incompetent and mean?!

Argentum: Well guess that's it for this chapter.

Grel'Slyfer: indeed next chapter will be interesting as well. As the story progresses so do the challenges.

Argentum: Mostly financial… getting the cheapest stuff sucks.

Aqua: STOP IGNORING ME!

Argentum: Anyways this has been a Dark Guard production. Now signing off.

Argentum/Grel: Goodbye!

Aqua: Hey you can't ignore a goddess like that!