The Cancer Man Can

by Perry1

Song paradody to the tune of.. well I did it to the tune of the Simpsons The Garbage Man Can, haha, but the real song is The Candy Man Can.

The Cancer Man Can

Title: The Cancer Man Can
Author: Perry
E-mail:
Characters: Mulder, Scully
Rating: G
Spoilers: The Simpson's The Garbage Man Can
Disclaimer: I do not own The X-Files, Chris Carter and 1013 Productions do. I also do not own The Simpson's, Matt Groening and FOX or some one does. I don't know who the hell owns The Candy Man Can, but I don't.
Summary: This is the first song I have ever written, and to be modest, it kicks ass. Anywho, It's to the tune of 'The Garbage Man Can', from The Simpson's.
Author's notes and warnings: This is to the tune of "The Garbage Man Can," from the Simpson's. Which is to the tune of "The Candy Man Can." So if you go by The Simpson's versions, the tune should be right, but it might be a little different from the original song, you should still understand it for the most part. In " " is the song, CAPS IS SCULLY'S INTERJECTION, but don't worry about that yet. Also, I know CSM isn't necessarily Mulder's dad, but I was going to put Spender, but I think Mulder's dad fits better... whatever.

Mulder and Scully were sitting in their office, and Mulder was explaining all
the horrible things the Cancer Man could do. Then, Scully asked if the Cancer
Man could really do all those horrible things, and Mulder replied, The Cancer
Man can, Scully. The Cancer Man can.... (He began singing)

"Who can always light up
Whenever he's in trouble
Who can make people mad, then leave on the double
The Cancer Maaaaaannnn
Oh, the Cancer Man can
The Cancer Man can, and he does with a smile and really pisses you off""Who can kill the hybrids?
He doesn't mind at all
Who can buy Morelys in every single mall?
The Cancer Maaaaaannnnnn
Yes, the Cancer Man can
The cigarette smoking bloke, can cause Mulder's mom a stroke
And cure her with a Bounty Hunter!!
He won't help you when your case is lo-ost
He'll only torture your beloved bo-oss!"

MULDER, LOST AND BOSS DON'T RHYME!

"Shut up Scully!"
"Who can?
Who can?
Who can?
Who can?
THE CANCER MAN CAN!!
'Cause he's Mulder's da-ad man!
He pollutes the world for yooouuuu!"