A/N: Hello, hello! It's spiffity chapter 3! Yay for us all! Ok, here we go...

Boromir: Aragorn

Frodo Gimli

Gandalf Pippin

Gimli Sam

Legolas Frodo

Merry Merry

Pippin Legolas

Sam Gandalf

Denethor Eowyn

Eomer Denethor

Eowyn Theoden

Theoden Eomer

Gollum Gollum

Chapter Three: Minas Tirith: City of...Chicken Wings??

"Ok, Peregrin Took, you are under trial for abuse of a Palantir, and stealing of the said palantir from Samdalf the Off-White." Eowyn says.

"Huh? Man, I didn't do anything!" Gandalf whines.

"LIAR! Anyway, Samdalf requests that you acompany him to Minas Tirith. Should you go, you will be granted a pardon and also will get a major part in the upcoming war. How do you plead?"

"Ok, Ok, I'll go!"

"Good! Samdalf and Pippin, carry on!"

The two run out to the stables, where Sam struggles to get up on Shadowfax and Gandalf has an easy time of it.

"All right, Merry. This is where we part." Gandalf says, crying.

"Can't say I'm that sad..."

"What?"

"I said man, that's really bad..."

"Anyway, I'll see you soon?"

"Perhaps...here have some longbottom leaf."

"OOOH! Goody goody! How'd you know I was out?"

"Because. Gandalf, you smoke too much."

"Coming from you, that means so much."

"Ha ha ha."

Samdalf and Gandalf leave, riding towards Minas Tirith. Merry pushes his way out of the stables and runs to the top of some...building. Boromir chases after him, screaming about the dangers or running up stairs and how he could break his neck.

"Shut up, Boromir! I'm going through an emotionally trying time, here!"

"Really?"

"No! Good thing that old coot's gone. He was scaring me!"

"Ok. Let's get back to the building, Eowyn's making soup and I'm hungry!"

"You're actually going to eat his soup??"

"No! I'm going to throw it at his face."

"Make sure Theoden don't eat any. It's enough to kill you!"

"Don't let him hear you say that!"

The two walk back inside, muttering about soup.

Denethor is hunched over a small fire, carefully adding salt to the soup.

"There! Now it's perfect!" He says, smiling and stepping back.

"Uh, dude what are you doing?"

"Soup?"

Meanwhile, with Sam and Gandalf...

"Dude, I can't see with your head in the way!"

"Well, sor-ry!"

The two ride on towards Minas Tirith, city of kings.

"Er...why does that sign say 'Minas Tirith, City of Chicken Wings'??"

"Hmmm. Must have something to do with the new Steward..."

The two ride up the 7 levels of Minas Tirith as scared civilians duck into doorways to escape the terror of Samdalf and Gandalf, both of them high on something.

"Hehehehe! Look, the 7th level! The Level of Kings!"

But the sign says, "7th Level:Level of Chicken Wings".

The two dismount and walk up to the door.

"Now, Gandalf, I know that's the tree, I know you saw the city burning, but don't mention the dream, Aragorn/Boromir, the death of Boromir/Aragorn, or the Ring."

"Got it, chief."

They walk inside, Sam's walking stick making much noise on the nicely tiled floor.

"Hail...er...Eomer...son of...someone...lord and Steward of Gondor..."

"Hey, little buddy! How're you? Nice to see you!"

"Er...I have tidings...things are changing...peopel are unhappy with Monarchy...the anarchists have taken Rohan..."

"WHAT? What are you saying?"

"Sorry, I got the wrong script...cursed Literature novels.... Anyway, the enemy is on your doorstep, unfortunately. " Sam says.

"What about Boromir? He was the best fighter Gondor's ever seen!"

"Well, Boromir is playing Aragorn. Aragorn, playing Boromir, died to save me and Merry." Gandalf says.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU??" Sam yells at Gandalf.

"Sorry..."

"Wait! What?"

"Well, Aragorn was trying to take the ring from Legolas, and then Legolas put on the Ring. Some fighting ensued, and then Aragorn was killed. It was sad." Gandalf says. "I offer you my service."

"Get up!" Sam says.

"No...he's funny! Very well, you can join the army! I guess..."

"My lord! Is that wise??" says Gondorian Worry-wart No. 1.

"Who's the Steward here??" Eomer says. "And tell that low-life Faramir to get his behind back in Minas Tirith, with Osgiliath safely secured!"

"Yes, sir!"

"We'll just be off, then..." Sam says, leading Gandalf out. Eomer kind of...sits there.

A/N: In the next chapter, we'll see what Faramir's been up to in a long chapter. Then, Grima, Saruman, and Aragorn will appear, with the chapter on Legolas and Gimli. Next we'll see the Reforging of the Sword and other fun stuff with the peoples of Rohan. Keep them reviews coming! I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving!If you celebrate it, that is. Otherwise, happy Last Thursday in November!!