Please, let him wake up. Don't leave me alone! I need him so much, and there he lay, slowly exiting my world, and entering another one, the one I SHOULD be in by now. But no.

There he lays, slowly breathing in from those perfect lips, and exhaling shakily. He had been crying in his sleep damnit! He had begged me to stop, or the dream me, anyhow. Now that I see this from a different position in life, it shocks me how much I really hurt him with those scars I give him. Please, let my angel wake up.

I haven't left his side for a single moment. It's been three days, I haven't gotten up to eat, or use the bathroom, and I'm sure as hell not leaving his side for the doorbell. He seems more peaceful, like he's just sleeping, and not in a coma.

Then as if it had been spelled out in the stars, I headed to the soul room where the living him resided, the one I could still talk to, and love, and hold, and make it all better.

"Ryou?" I asked, and hugged him tightly, and warmly.

"Wh-What are you doing?!" Ryou backed away from me and checked me for a fever.

"Hugging you, love." I smiled warmly down at him, and put him into my lap.

"Why?" He asked.

"I love you, do I need a reason?"

"You're a sadistical spirit from a sennen item, bent on the over-lordship of Earth, yeah, you do." Ryou folded his arms over his chest, and looked at me critically.

"Stop being a brat, do you want my affections, or not?"

"...Do they invole knives?"

"Not this time."

"Then, of course I do!" Ryou latched onto me, and kissed my cheek sweetly.

He was smiling, and laughing, and over-joyed. All I know is that if this makes him this happy, what can I do to make him even happier.

"No more knives, ever. I promise." I whispered.

He pulled back, and looked into my eyes, a smile playing curiously on his lips. "Are you serious?"

"Completely."

"You don't know how friggen happy you make me. I think I can die happy now." Ryou kissed me full on the lips, but pulled away. "One promise makes me the happiest dying teen in the world."

"Ryou, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying.... Goodbye." Ryou ran his fingertips across my cheek like an angels kiss.

"No, you aren't." I said stubbornly. "I'm not letting my angel go."

"Just know I always will love you, even from the otherside." Ryou's smile never left his lips, and for some reason, the fact that he was smiling about this made my eyes water up, and tears spill down my cheeks.

"Goddamnit Ryou, don't talk that way. I need you." I sobbed into his shoulder as he held me. "Don't leave me. I don't think I'd be able to wash my hair without you! You know how I love the way you shampoo it, and it gets all those fun, but annoying as hell bubbles. You know I'm crazy about you, right?"

"I do now." Ryou's smile was going to be the death of me.

Only because it was the first genuine one I'd ever seen him wear. I loved that smile. I never knew his smile was prettier than his tears. I never knew that his eyes were more lovable and desirable than his blood. I never knew, and now I'll never get the chance to see all the things I never saw before! I'll never get the chance to hold him in my arms, listening to him purr, and not making fun of his kitten-like qualities.

I'll never know what I could've had. I'll never know what could've been mine. That bothers me. The fact that I will NEVER KNOW! It hurts. It fuckin' hurts.

"I won't be able to open the door, or answer the phone. And I'll have to listen to that cute as hell answering machine message you have, that annoys me only 'cause it's so goddamned adorable." I sniffled.

Yes, I am weak, I freely admit I am weak when it comes to Ryou. I would beg the pharoah if it were for Ryou 's sake! Goddamnit! I'd just cut off my own head for this boy. This one little boy in which I would burn at the stake for, or be pulled into pieces by ravenous dogs.

"You haven't taught me the secret to making cereal! Or using the boxes of heat! Micro-vens!""Micro-waves and ovens." Ryou chuckled.

"See how much I need you?!" I pleaded with him.

"And how to I get the machine of ultimate doom to work?!"

"The piano?" Ryou laughed. "You play the death tunes perfectly!"

I played the death machine greatly, and Ryou even made me perform and I got paid a bunch of stuff. Sadly he said since I missed a phrase, no one died, but I am positive to this day I played it! The death machine, my favorite of them all. They were all so tortured, they were screaming, and banging there hands together. They must've been in so much pain!

Ryou.

"Please, I'll do anything. Absolutely anything. I've thrown out all the knives, and pointy objects! I've thrown out the beer and the cigarettes, and if you just come back to me, I'll show you how much I will change if you just stay with me. Goddamnit, I'd be Uke for the rest of my life! Ryou..." I pleaded into him. " I never knew so much, and now I'll never get to know."

"There is a world waiting to teach you." Ryou smiled.

"No. I will never know what it would be like to watch you wake up, purring in my arms, or let you paint my nails, or make you breakfast in bed with those flowers you like. I'll never get to hear you laugh, I'll never get to see you smile, and I'll never get the chance to love you like I should've." I sniffled. " I'm crying here because of you, and all you do is smile. I freaken need you, and you're so insistent on dying!"

" Take my body to the Pharoah, tell him I slit my wrists, and he will let you bring me back." Ryou sighed. " If you really want me."

I tackled Ryou in a hug, and he was out of breath for a moment, but laughed as I kissed his face repeatedly. He didn't stop for a few moments, until I caught his lips, and kissed him softly. He wanted to live, he wanted me to show him all I could do, he wanted to be cared for and loved, and I was damned proud and of knowing I could do it.