Ch 5: Holy private joke, Batman!

Jack took in her apprehensive look in surprise. She actually thought he was going to be hating this. Smiling, he said, "Well, then, Carter, it looks like I get to ask the age old question. Is there any room at the inn?"

Laughing, she said, "Yes, sir, we'll be able to squeeze you in somewhere. I'm sorry, it won't be very comfortable, or private..."

"Don't worry about it, Carter," he said with a shrug.

"I'm really sorry," she repeated.

"Hey, look..."

They were interrupted by loud crying coming from the hallway. Carter sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, then opened the door. A three and a half-foot tall Batman was standing there, in tears.

"Rory, what's wrong?" she asked, scooping him up and bringing him into the room. She shut the door behind her to muffle the cries and set him on the edge of the bed, kneeling down in front of him and feeling his arms and legs. "Are you hurt?"

"No," the little boy wailed, throwing his arms around her and crying into her neck. She slid up onto the bed holding him, rubbing his back, and looked like she didn't have a clue what to do.

Jack shrugged his shoulders.

"Okay, then, what happened?" Carter tried finally.

"Matty said I'm not Batman," Rory wailed.

"But sweetie, you know you're not really Batman," Carter argued gently. She looked up at Jack and explained, "Rory dresses up differently every day, don't you Rory?"

He nodded, sniffling. "But he wouldn't even let me pretend," he sobbed.

"Hey Batman?" Jack asked. Rory wiped his eyes with his sleeve and looked up at Jack. "You know what I always liked about Batman? Er... about you, I mean?"

"What?"

"Nobody knows who he really is. Nobody would believe he was Batman. It's a great big secret hardly anybody else knows about."

Rory sniffled and smiled a little bit. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Auntie Sam?" he asked, looking up at her expectantly.

"Yup. That's definitely what makes Batman so cool. He doesn't care that nobody knows what a great hero he is," she said, looking up at Jack pointedly.

Jack shifted on his feet uncomfortably, wishing she would stop with the doe eyes. It was bad enough when the two of them were in uniform... Luckily, Sam turned her attention back to the little boy. "Let's go get you cleaned up, and we'll go see if I can find you a candy cane."

"Just me?"

"Yup. I was keeping them hidden for now, but I think Batman deserves one early." She set him on his feet and took his hand, taking him into the connecting bathroom. They came out a few minutes later. Rory's cheeks were still red from crying, but he looked like he felt a lot better.

"Hey, what about me?" Jack asked them both. "Do I get a candy cane too?"

Sam looked down at Rory. "What do you think?"

He eyed Jack critically, wrinkling his nose, and finally smiled up at her. "Yeah, he gets one too," he decided.

Carter smiled and picked him up, heading downstairs with him. Jack followed, asking, "Isn't Batman a little big to be carried around?"

They both looked at him like he was crazy, so he said, "Okay, guess not. How old are you anyway?"

"Four," Rory informed him, holding out his hand with the fingers splayed for emphasis. "How old are you?"

"A lot older than four," Jack answered while Carter laughed.

They went into the kitchen, where lots of cooking was still going on, but there were two new men in the kitchen Jack hadn't met yet, who had to be Sam's other brothers, as they both looked very much like her father. Anne smiled at them all and said, "Jack, have you met my husband?"

"Ah, no," he said, offering to shake the large man's hand.

"Sorry, Colonel, that's Nigel, my oldest brother," Carter called as she set Rory down on the counter and went into the pantry.

"Nice to finally meet the guy who's responsible for all of us being dry," he said. "And don't worry, I won't judge you based on Mark's report alone," he assured Jack.

Jack looked around, confused, as everyone laughed.

"Neither will I," the other man, smaller but more muscular than his brother, said. "I'm Jamie."

Jack shook his hand as well and looked around in confusion. "What does Mark..." he started to ask.

"What's Mark's problem now?" Carter demanded, coming out of the pantry with two candy canes. She peeled back the wrapping and handed one to Rory absently, looking back and forth between her brothers for an explanation.

"He ah... just had a typical Mark reaction to the way they found you guys this afternoon," Jamie said with a shrug. "No big deal."

Maybe not to the rest of Carter's family, but Jack knew her well enough to know it was a big deal to her. Which made it a big deal to him. But she was so distracted by the conversation she hadn't handed over the candy cane yet. She was gesturing with it as she talked. He followed it with his eyes for a few seconds, his fingers itching to reach out for it. Finally, he could take it no more. He snatched it away quickly and ripped through the cellophane.

"Uncle Jack are you in trouble?" Rory asked around the candy cane sticking out of his mouth.

Carter was obviously just as surprised at his being christened 'uncle' as he was, although he supposed it only made sense to the little boy. The house was jam-packed with adults he was supposed to call 'uncle' or 'aunt.'

Jack turned to Carter in time to see her having some kind of silent exchange with her sister. She glanced at him, their eyes met, and she looked away, blushing.

"Not sure about that, Batman," Jack muttered.

Emily stepped in by saying, "Rory, why don't you show Uncle Jack the play room?"

"Carter, you have a play room?" he asked in surprise.

She blushed as everyone laughed at her. "It was already here when I moved in," she muttered as her nephew hopped off the counter and grabbed Jack's hand, dragging him away.

Rory took him up a narrow staircase on the second floor, all the way up to what had once been the attic but was now a large finished room. Jack immediately spotted an old pool table at the back and smiled. "Well, one mystery solved," he said to himself.

Most of the kids were in this room, which had a large couch and television. A Christmas movie was playing, but nobody was paying it much attention. It was unbelievably loud in the room, full of so many little voices and laughs that it was impossible to distinguish between who was talking and what was being said. Chris was up there as well, taking turns swinging several of the kids around in fast circles.

"Good, backup!" he declared upon spotting Jack.

Jack held up his hands. "Bad knee," he objected, but three of the kids had already ran over to him and were hopping around anxiously, wanting to be picked up and swung around. He sighed and eyed the first kid in the group. "Which one are you? Kieran?"

"Yup," the little boy answered, holding up his arms.

Jack picked him up, groaning slightly. "What do they feed you?" he demanded before doing his duty as a merry-go-round.

"So, you hiding out from my brothers and sisters?" Chris asked casually after the kids were too dizzy to be swung around anymore and the two men collapsed onto the couch, exhausted.

"Umm... not from all of them," Jack offered with a grin.

"Yeah, that's about what I figured. Let me guess. Emily's making you uncomfortable and Mark's giving you a hard time about the wrestling match we walked in on."

"It wasn't really a wrestling match... and your sister is really nice... but basically, yeah."

"That's just how Mark's always been with Sam. Since they're the same age and all, they knew all the same people, so he always knew every guy that tried to... well, I'm guessing you don't want to talk about that," Chris said perceptively.

"Good to see you're doing more than book learning at that college of yours."

Chris laughed and said, "Well, you've discovered the tactic I've been using since I was twelve: stick with the little kids. Their questions are easier to answer."

One of the little girls came over and stopped in front of him. Jack took in the long, curly blond hair, bright blue eyes that clearly ran in the family, and smiled. All of the kids resembled each other, and many of them had some of Carter's traits, but this one looked exactly like her.

"Sydney, right?" Jack asked.

The little girl nodded, breaking into a huge grin, clearly pleased that he'd remembered her name, and said, "Want to color with me?"

"Um, sure," Jack said, watching warily as she grabbed her coloring book, crayons, and spread them all out on the floor. "But can we do it at that table over there? My old knees don't do so well on the floor."

"Sure," Sydney said with a grin, gathering all of her stuff.

Jack sat down next to her and looked at the picture she had picked. "Who's that?"

"Peter Pan. And Tinkerbell. Here, you color Wendy. Her nightgown is blue."

"Yes, ma'am," Jack said obediently, picking out a blue crayon.

She took it from his hand and said, "LIGHT blue."

Chuckling, he swapped crayons and started coloring.

"If you couldn't tell already," Chris called from where he was wrestling with three of the kids, "That one's the mini-Sam."

The little girl in question rolled her eyes and said, "Everybody always says that."

"Is that a bad thing?" Jack asked curiously.

She shrugged. "Nah. Auntie Sam is great but I'm not little! I'm the second oldest here after Matty."

"How old are you?"

"Six. Are you really our uncle?"

"Ah, no."

"That's what I thought, because to be our uncle you would have to have married her and if you had married her we all would have gone to the wedding. How do you know Auntie?"

"We work together."

"In the Air Force?"

"Yup."

"You fly planes?"

"Yup."

She grinned up at him, clearly impressed. "That's so cool!"

"Thanks."

"Auntie doesn't have any kids, does she?"

"No... why?"

"I was looking at her tree earlier. Half of it looks like she did it, the other half looks like ours, when Mommy lets us decorate it ourselves and Rory and the twins just throw their ornaments on wherever they feel like."

Jack laughed and ran his hand through his hair. "Ah, I did that half of the tree thank you very much," he informed her.

Chris laughed from where he was letting himself be pummeled by couch cushions and jumped on by several kids at once. "Oh, you shut up," Jack growled at him.

"Umm, Uncle Jack said shut up!" one of the other little kids, Gwen, he thought, called.

Sydney rolled her eyes. "Babies," she scoffed, inspecting his coloring. "You're doing a good job," she said, patting him on the back with her tiny hand.

"Thanks."

An hour later, he was still coloring with Sydney, who was talking his ear off while they worked. "There you are," Carter said with a smile, wading through all of the kids over to where he and Sydney were still coloring. She picked up a kid along the way and sat down across from them, cuddling a very sleepy looking little girl. "Sorry, we got into a long-standing family debate."

"Hey, that's okay. I've been talking to your little counterpart here."

Sydney grinned at Carter. "He's funny," she said approvingly.

"Yes, he is," Carter said, shifting the little girl on her lap slightly.

"Which one is that again?" Jack asked Sydney quietly.

"Liliana. Everybody calls her Lily though. She's only two," Sydney answered, taking the crayon out of his hand and replacing it with another one. "Ariel's fins are green, not purple," she said firmly.

"Sorry," he apologized. Carter laughed at him, but he didn't care.

"Syddo kiddo, you need to finish up, dinner's ready," Carter told her.

"I'm not done," she said absently. "And it'll take everyone at least fifteen minutes to wash their hands and get downstairs," she said, nodding in the direction of the general mayhem, where Emily, Caroline, and Chris were all now herding the children downstairs, peeling them away from various tasks.

"Anyone ever told you you're too smart for your own good?" Jack asked Sydney curiously.

"Yup. All the time."

"And what do we tell them?" Carter asked her.

"That there's no such thing," Sydney answered happily, grinning at her. Carter grinned back and ruffled her hair.

"Hey, I've got a surprise for you."

"Where?" Sydney asked eagerly.

"The room that Uncle Nigel and Aunt Anne are staying in."

"The one with all the books and stuff?" Sydney asked, starting to gather up her crayons.

"Yeah. One of my computers crashed last month. I saved it for you."

"Really?" she asked excitedly, for all the world as though Carter had just given her a basket full of puppies.

"Yup. You can take it apart after dinner. But to do that, we actually have to go DOWN to dinner."

Sydney rolled her eyes and put away her crayons, slamming the book shut.

"Hey, I wasn't done!" Jack objected.

Sydney giggled and said, "I want to sit by Uncle Jack at dinner."

"Why am I not surprised," Carter muttered to herself. Jack heard her, but didn't let on. "Go wash your hands, Syd," Carter said. Sydney hopped off her chair and hurried off.

"Thanks for humoring her, sir," Carter said sincerely. "With so many kids around, they all like to get a little individual attention whenever they can."

"No problem, Carter. She's fun. Besides, I was wondering what I was going to do, I left my coloring book on base."

She laughed and said, "Yeah, I noticed you seemed to be having a good time."

"What does that mean?" he asked defensively.

"Oh, please, sir. I doubt anybody's ever spent that long coloring a seashell bra..." she said lightly.

He grinned apologetically. Shaking her head, she got up, looking down at Lily, who was sucking her thumb and about to fall asleep, and said, "I don't think this one's going to make it through dinner. I'm going to go find Anne."

"See you at dinner," Jack called.

"Save me a seat," Carter called back.

"I'll save one and let you and Sydney fight over it," he called back. Laughing, Carter left it at that.

A/N: Once again, I am pleased and surprised at the lovely reviews you all have sent. They only make me type faster. Thank you all.