"He, Too, Is Alexander"
Summary: Alexander explains to Hephaestion what he meant by saying what he was saying to Queen Statira.
Rated: PG
Warning: Slash A/H, fluff
AN: For Bunny, who has inspired me to write this piece and made this more readable.
"Don't worry, mother. Everywhere, he is Alexander, too."
Alexander could not forget his beloved's expression when the conquered Persian queen, Statira, kneeled before him, addressing him as the Macedonian King. That must have been quite awkward for Hephaestion's soft heart, to be amongst other Macedonian officers and lovely Persian princesses, to not know what to say to that. Helplessness, discomfort, and some small amount of amusement in the error was clear in his eyes as he glanced at Alexander, sending a silent plea for help. There was also a sense that Hephaestion was not at all pleased with the jeers the other soldiers were making towards the piteous lady.
Moreover, Alexander could not forget Hephaestion's widened eyes as the supposedly elegant king ofMacedonia announced to everyone that he too was Alexander. He could almost hear his lover's hiss at him, telling him he should have said something wise, or even authoritarian, and not mocked instead.
Alexander chuckled to himself as he brought his mind back to paperwork he should have finished by now. It was late already and still he was in the small library aside from his bedchamber. He squinted into the writings, quietly cursing at the dim light in the chamber.
There was a hushed sound of approaching steps. Alexander knew who was coming without having to look.
"Good evening," greeted Alexander, bowed head, keeping busy with his paper signing.
There was no sound.
Only the deep silence of the night and the whisper of a soft breeze from outside.
"Hephaestion?" Alexander lifted his head and turned around – to meet his lover's intense stare.
Nevertheless, the youthful King could not read what was behind those exquisite eyes. Alexander sighed and rose from his chair to better look at Hephaestion.
"What is it?" Alexander out-stretched both his arms. "Philalexandros?" He offered his smile.
Hephaestion thwarted his hands before they reached him. "Do not speak of friend to me." Alexander halted, brows furrowing deep. This was unlike him. Hephaestion was always so full of understanding.
"What did I do wrong?" asked Alexander; his face going quiet. There were no more smiles.
Yet Hephaestion was far from being intimidated. Alexander never got mad at him and he surely would not start a new habit now, especially since he was still uncertain as to what this was all about. Hephaestion walked past him, his robe flowing brushing the floor, and headed toward the window. The night outside was as shadowy and insecure as his heart.
"He is Alexander, too. Do you never see how they look at me?"
"Pardon?" Alexander inquired, for Hephaestion had been murmuring.
The dark-haired Macedonian turned around, and for a moment, Alexander was stunned to see the glimmer of tears in his eyes.
"Your words to the princess. Why did you say such things to her? Oh, no – no. It wasn't her I worry about, but our men! Don't you realize how they always think I am such an arse-kisser?"
Alexander made a gesture as if he were to lunge toward Hephaestion when he suddenly froze – and beamed. "Well, you are," he smirked playfully, leaving his lover flushed deeply. "Ah, come now, Hephaestion." The arms were wide-open once more and this time Hephaestion did not avoid them. He let them rest on his shoulders and gazed at their owner's eyes. Alexander tilted his head sideways, brushing Hephaestion's damp lashes with his thumb. Hephaestion sighed and his eyes fluttered closed. Times like this were when he felt peaceful.
"I cannot let you get belittled by them, my love. I cannot have you feel undermined. I need you, Hephaestion. I need you to be strong for me."
Hephaestion opened his eyes, realization returning into him. So far in their whole lives, outsiders had always seen Alexander as the one who was always strong, in carrying out his duties, in making his decisions, in expunging doubts over those decisions. But they never knew who was the real backbone, who stood behind each and every single thing Alexander stated. It was himself, Hephaestion, who was always there for him, providing his shoulder and chest for Alexander to lean on – and sometimes, to cry on, too.
"And do you know why I said that, beloved?" asked Alexander softly, edging closer to the other. "That's because you are, Hephaestion. You, too, are Alexander. We are one. I depend on you."
Hephaestion held his breath. In fact, he felt as if he had stopped breathing. Alexander knew his weakness exactly. How important it was for him to feel needed by Alexander, for him to acknowledge Hephaestion's influence upon his actions.
As he was drawn into his lover's embrace and kiss, Hephaestion closed his eyes again. He could deal now with the comments that all the others made. They no longer mattered. Not here, not in Alexander's arms.
# -- # fin # -- #
AN: Thanks so much for everyone who has given me nice words for my first Alexander fic, On the Brink. That means a lot to me.