Author's Note: Well, its after new years and I still don't own any anime, movie, or game. But give me a few days, a map, some plastic explosives and someone whos willing to kill the people at Blizzard, and I could!!! coughcough You didn't hear that from me... So yes, don't mind the characters being just a bit out of... well... character, its suppose to be that way! Any way, read! then gemme your brain and reviews.
The doors to the funeral hall opened loudly. Stummbling in, the necromancer shifted Tyreal, in his highly drunken state, as he continued to half drag the drunk angel.
"Letsh just get thish one fing straight," The arch angel began, "I.... Don't nee' you!"
"Oh yes, thats exactly why you had me drag you from the curb." The necromancer commented sarcasticly, and roughly put the angel in one of the pews near the front of the small chapel.
"I for one can't believe you went off and became an alcoholic!"
"I didn't, ya fuggen mortal!"
The necromancer sighed as he heard the doors in the back open, and he turned to greet the assasin and the sorceress, walking arm in arm.
"Hey necro!" The assasin said happily as she and the sorceress came to the front of the chapel.
"Girls! Is it true what I hear? Are you two a couple?" The necromancer inquired, and the two glanced at each other, giggling.
In answer, the assasin dipped the sorceress low, and they began engaging in a deep, deep french style kiss.
"Take is ooofff!!!" Tyreal cheered at the sight of the girl on girl action.
"Well, I never thought that I'd see the day that the archangel Tyreal would be another drunk bum!" Came a scratchy voice, followed by a cackle, and everyone turned to see Andariel, dressed in a tight red dress, and platform boot walking into the building.
"I aint no drunk!" Tyreal said, attempting, but only stummbling and sitting backa down, hard.
"Sure you aren't, and look, Diablo's in diapers!"
"Don't try bein' sar...saaarcaaashticck wif meh, demon!"
"I don't think she's being sarcastic." The necromancer said and everyone looked to see as Diablo bounded in, and indeed, he was wearing diapers!
"Hello people!!!" Diablo said as he waved largely and grinning as if a little child.
"Hey all," said a harpie as she walked in, trailing the Lord of Terror, "Before you ask, I'm Diablo's babysitter."
Everyone else looked stunned, not knowing what to say.
"I said hello people!!!" Diablo repeated angrily, stomping his foot on the ground, making the whole building shake a bit.
"Diablo! What did I say about being rude to people?!" The harpie scowled harshly, shaking a finger at Diablo, who immedietly stopped stomping.
"You say nothing! Diablo can do what he want with people's feet, I buy them off E-bay, Five-dolla!" Diablo sulked.
"For the last time, you did not buy them off E-bay."
"Yes! Five-dolla! Five-dolla! That all it take for pack 'o feet! Five-dolla! Five-dolla!"
"Do you want a spanking!?"
"Noooooo..."
"Then for the sake of all that is unholy, shut up!!" The harpie baby sitter had obviessly reached her last straw, and it sent the Lord of Terror sniveling to a pew in the back to sulk.
The harpie sighed and turned to everyone else.
"Well, other than that, Izual sends his appologies, he can't make it." Said the babysitter, now calm again.
"So, um, whats wrong with Diablo?" The sorceress asked, glancing akwardly at the Lord of Terror.
"Oh, well, after that little New Years party thing he kinda had a break down. He got medication, and is in the process of getting therapy. Doc says something about him reverting to a child-like state since he never really got to live out his childhood."
Every one else nodded, except for Tyreal, who laughed in a very drunken manner.
"Adrea! Where were you?!" A small hespanic man yelled, dressed in a bright orange suit yelled, stalking up to the Maiden of Anguish.
Andariel stammered nervously,
"Mario! I-I was just here at a-a friend's funeral!"
"Really? Then don't run off with out me next time, bitch!"
The man, who was no more than half Andariel's size, pushed past the two lesbians and sat in the pew behind Tyreal, quickly accompanied by Andariel.
"HmmMmm, Mephisto, you really need to, like, do somethin' with yo' horns cuz they are uuuugly!" Baal said, totaly deck out in drag, bright red lipstick, pink feather boa, and a sparkly pink toob top.
"Baal, do me a big favor and shut the Hell up." Mephisto said as he floated along side his brother, looking like his normal floating dead horned... thing.
"But I's serious! Tchu, giiiirl you-"
"BAAL!!! I am your brother!! Thus meaning I am not a girl!!!!" The aggitated Mephisto yelled, gaining everyone's attention.
"Baal! Mephsito! I miss joo!!!" Diablo exclaimed happily as he tackled his brothers into a hugs.
"Little brother! I missed you!!" Baal said as he hugged Diablo back.
A chocking sound was emmited from Mephisto as he struggled to get away.
After the two evils were greeted by everyone, the little group disscussed and waited for the rest of the people to get their.
The last to arrive was the paladin, who carried a barbie infront of his face, while the rest of him look completely disshelved, and the amazon, who looked relitively normal.
"Yes, I have been doing well!" The paladin said, in a high voice, as if making the barbie talk.
"Pally is silly!!" Diablo yelled, but was quickly hushed to silence by his baby sitter.
"Hey! Everyone! Sit!" A voice said, and every one looked up to the front to where a coffin was, and at the podeum, stood a little girl looking to be about 12 or 13 (but was really more like 15), dressed in priest robes, and waiting for the group to silence. They did, and she continued,
"Okay, well. Dear-"
But before the girl could get very far, the necromancer interrupted her,
"You sound familiar, like that girl that was at the new years party in the bunny outfit. Are you, infact, that author girl in the bunny outfit?"
"hm? Oh... Uh... Nooo!" The girl began, slightly nervous, "That was my, uh, twin! Yes! My evil twin sister! So, yeah, back to the funeral."
The girl cleared her throat, and continued,
"Okay, Izual couldn't be here for personal reasons, or some shig like that, and the barbarian and druid couldn't make it because they have the whole retrial today, so yeah.
Dearly beloved! We are gathered here today to witness... Oh wait, thats the wrong ceremony... Ah, forget it! The thing that matters is that Duriel is dead. He's dead, because he killed himself. His should be a pittful example to you ALL!! The pussy couldn't take the fact that he was a giant, fat, maggot demon thingy!! But then again... I'd kill myself too if I was one.... Funeral's ugurned, feast apon the cookies and punch to the left!"
With that said every one began gathering at the table of refreshments, mingling and the such. Mephisto, with a look in his eye, approched the little priest-girl and said,
"So, what is a little girl doing at a funeral, acting as a priest?"
"Meh, I knocked the priest that was suppose to do this and shoved him in a randomly placed closet."
"Ah. Come, lets walk."
Leading the girl away from the group, Mephisto asked,
"So, am I the only one that knows that you are infact the author girl from the new years party?"
At this the girl nearly chocked on her punch.
"O.m.f.g dude, you acctually know?!"
Mephisto nodded slowly.
"So...Uh, are you angry about the whole showing of the you and the tantruming?"
"Not really. Well, atleast not after seeing the effect it had on the 'good guys'." Mephsito chuckled and continued, "You've reopened old wounds between two valiant worriors, make the paladin a barbie weilding freak, and you've caused the archangel to become an alcoholic! Hell, if anything I should be hiring you as a consultant or something. But then again... You did show that tantrum video of me.... So, I've desided not to torture you in an excrusiatingly slow and painful way."
The author girl rose and eyebrow and asked,
"Sooo, what does that mean for me?"
"Nothing for now, child. Here, have a ginger snap."
"Oo, cookie!"
So the author girl ate the cookie, suspecting absolutely. Noone other that the Lord of Hatred knew that the priest girl was the same person as the bunny-outfit wearing author girl. The evening wore on peacefully, and ended the same way.
Author's Note: leaning over the toilet, throwing up Uhhhg, damn you and your friggin cookies, Mephisto!!
Mephisto: I said that I wouldn't torture you to death, I mentioned nothing about keeping you hugging the toilet through means of food poisoning.
Author: Screw you, fuggen cooking weilding demon continues throwing up
Mephisto: Don't worry, child, food poisoning only last for what? A week?
Author: I'll see you at Valentines, Spermy!!!