A.N. I retract the statement that was once here. I'm enjoying writing this fanfic so much more than I thought I was going to, so please enjoy! I own NOTHING of value except the thoughts in my head. Also there aren't any self inserts or anything like that, not sure why that was mentioned...
'God damn it. So a general of the late Devil King just had to move in, which means that all the weaker monsters went into hiding! Can't we catch a break here!?...wait.'
"What was that you said, about the Devil King?"
"Yes you heard right, a general of the late Devil King has moved into the region nearby. Why do you ask?" Responded Luna, seemingly confused.
"Did you say 'late' Devil King?"
"Well of course! Remember? The Devil King was defeated years ago."
Kazuma felt his blood run cold. As if we was gonna faint right then and there. By the looks of it, his blue haired companion looked the same.
"Aqua, can we have a talk over there please?" He asked as level as he could.
"Uh huh." She responded with a fake sense of control.
Megumin and Darkness looked at each other and shrugged. Darkness thought it was weird when Kazuma said his plan was to defeat THE Devil King, at the time she simply assumed he was talking about the several lesser demons who rose in the power vacuum. Though they too were recently silenced by an unknown force.
"Aqua?"
"Yeah?"
"WHAT THE HELL!?"
"Ah! Don't yell at me! I'm just as surprised as you are!"
"I was told that I would get a wish if I beat the devil king right? Which means that he's still alive right!? So how can he be dead?"
"How should I know! I should be back in the afterlife by now if it were true anyway!"
'This is bad. If the Devil King is alive, but officially dead, it could mean he's in hiding and will never be found, or that a new Devil King is alive, one that no one even knows about yet. Or even worse, the gods screwed us over and dumped us here for good!'
"Wait, a general of the Devil King moved in right? Maybe it knows what happened?" Aqua asked with glee.
"Are you suggesting we just walk up to a general of the ambiguous Devil King and ask it what happened to its master?" Kazuma asked in mocking monotone.
"Do you have any ideas? Besides, with my priest spells, I can beat any demon no problem!"
"...We don't even know where it's staying. We should just continue with what we've been doing and level up a bit more."
"But there's not even quest for us to do!"
'Ugh, good point'
Waving over the other two girls, they made way to leave the guild hall. Completely unaware of the dirty, robed figure that tailed them.
"Alright so, mind telling us why you never thought to enlighten us about the fact that the Devil King is DEAD!? I made a big spiel about it the other day!"
"We all thought you were talking about all the 'new' Devil Kings."
"New!?"
"Yes, after the original Devil King was defeated, many other demons attempted to capitalize on his death, claiming the title and throne as theirs. But from what we know, they never seem to do much before disappearing, as if something is killing them all."
"Oh great, just my luck."
The party stopped as a raggedy commoner, hid beneath layers of robes, approached the boy.
"Got any spare eris for a beggar? I saw you at the cabbage harvest, I'm sure you can help me, please."
"Huh? Oh uh…yeah sure, I guess I have a bit to give." He hesitated at first, money not being much of a commodity to him after having to bail Aqua out.
'This better get me some points with Eris herself!'
He stopped momentarily to stare at the beggars outstretched hand. The exposed skin was…burning? Just slightly, it seemed to blister very slowly.
"Hey mister, you alright there?"
"Oh yes, I won't have to worry about that much longer you see." He took a step closer to Kazuma. "But you will."
Without warning, the man grabbed Kazuma's arm and pulled him close, allowing the robed man to sink a pair of sharp fangs into the boy's neck, eliciting a sharp yelp of pain.
"Why you!" Darkness cried out, ripping the old man off and tossing him to the floor.
"What kind of beggar are you!?" Kazuma yelled at the prone figure.
"I beg for one thing, vindication!" And with that, he vanished in a puff of dark smoke as a swam of bats scurried into the dark alleys of the town. Several nearby townsfolk ran to alert guards. Powers like that, it didn't take a detective to know what it means.
Kazuma dropped to his butt and held onto his neck tightly.
"Oh no, Kazuma! You've been bitten by a vampire! You're gonna turn into a ghoul now!"
"WHAT!?"
"Calm down Megumin, something like this is no problem for an archpriest. Now, this may hurt a bit." Aqua said with a devious smile. "Sacred exorcism!"
A blue light began to emanate around the pair until it brightened and shot into the sky.
Kazuma bit down as a sharp pain ran through the wound. In his mind, it simply meant a job well done. At least he had hoped, unsure if a vampire bite was more of a spiritual or physical thing in the end.
"And that's that!"
"Well Aqua, if there's one thing you can do it's heal."
"I can do way more than just heal!"
Darkness looked towards the alley in confusion, while content that her friend would be ok, there was something that didn't sit right. What does vindication mean in this context? And why target Kazuma of all people? If it wanted a ghoul, there were far stronger adventurers to choose from.
'Over the course of the next couple weeks, Megumin and I made a daily trip to an old castle far from town, each time setting off a massive explosion onto it. While normally this kind of thing would be a waste of my time, I couldn't help but feel drawn to the damn thing. Not like I plan to check it out anytime soon, but still…a draw. And maybe that's why A FREAKING DULLAHAN SHOWED UP OUT OF NOWHERE! CAN THIS ADVENTURE GET ANY WORSE, JUST WHAT IS WITH THIS SCALING?!'
Before the entire town's militia of adventurers rode a dark knight, holding his own head in his steel arms.
"My name is Verdia, I am one of the former Devil King's generals. And I have taken permanent residence in a nearby castle."
'Former Devil King? So there IS a new one…right?'
"Every day. Every single day. EVERY BLOODY DAY. ONE OF YOU MANIACS COMES TO MY HOME AND HURLS EXPLOSION SPELLS AT IT, AND I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO. IT. IIIIIIIIS!"
'Oh great…now we're really in for it'
Speak to him
"Huh?" Kazuma swung his head around, but everyone's eyes were glued to the horror on a horse. Was that a voice or was that a sensation in his head? Were asking these question a sign of mental health issues?
Speak to him
There it was again, this feeling. He needed to speak with him. Good idea…
'Wait what am I thinking! Am I really gonna waltz up and talk to a Dullahan? Am I crazy!? Have I gone off my rocker!?'
Speak to him
'...you know what, to hell with this world, if I die, I die'
As the adventurers began to single out who could be responsible, Megumin gasped as Kazuma went forth. She hesitated only slightly, before deciding to follow closely from behind. If it came down to it, she'd fight alongside him no matter what, it was mainly her fault to begin with.
Kazuma stopped short just 20 feet from this hulking monstrosity of evil and metal.
"You!?" It called out.
"No."
"Huh?"
"I'm not the one who attacked your castle, but I have some questions to ask."
"DO I LOOK LIKE A GUIDANCE COUNSELOR?! STOP WASTING MY TIME BEFORE I CUT YOU DOWN!"
Kazuma's legs started to shake when he took a step back, he was reaaaaally starting to hate his decision to come up here now.
Seeing her partners fear, Megumin stepped in front and between them, as if protecting him in some way.
"It was me, I was the one who attacked your castle."
'Megumin!'
"Tch! So you're the idiot! You know, I thought I was being nice by ignoring this town, and what do I get in return!? BLAST AFTER BLAST AFTER BLAST! IF YOU KNOW WHO I AM THEN YOU MUST BE STUPIDER THAN YOU LOOK! IF YOU WANNA FIGHT, THEN ANNOUNCE YOURSELF AND FIGHT ME!"
"Hmph! My name is Megumin! And I use explosion magic!"
"...Megumin? Really?"
"Y-yeah! I'm a member of the crimson demon clan! And of course I knew who you were, th-that's why I flushed you out! And you fell for it like a fool!"
"Hmm, well I didn't come out here to battle with novices."
"In that case, answer my question!" Kazuma interjected.
"What!? You again? I told you already I don't have time to answer your idiotic questions!"
"What happened to the Devil King!?"
"...Are you trying to make me mad?"
"Eek! I just need to know!"
"The Devil King I serve is dead. Now pray I never come back here again."
"Wait! I'm not finished asking what I need to know!"
"What the!? Take a hint you stupid boy! I have no interest in your foolish inquiries and that's final!"
Force him
"Then I guess I'll have to force you to tell me!" Kazuma reacted, unsheathing his sword.
'...WHAT DID I JUST SAY!? DO I HAVE A DEATHWISH?'
Megumin wasn't sure where this was going, or what he wanted to know so badly, but she got into a ready stance of her own. This wasn't going to end peacefully regardless.
From behind, backup arrived in the form of Aqua and Darkness, both readying their weapons.
"Sucks for you Dullahan, but I'm an archpriest, turning you to dust will be no sweat!"
"No Aqua! We need to make him submit, not kill him!"
"What are adventurers drinking these days! First this brat won't stop blowing up my castle, now this punk won't even let me leave in peace! Fine then, you know what?! I rescind my earlier notion about battling novices. I'm going to make you four an example."
He finally got off his horse, dissipating it with a wave of his hand as he too, began to unsheathe his giant sword.
'Ok Kazuma, think. How do we beat him without killing him!'
Head
"We need to separate his head from his body."
"Feel free to use me as the meat shield while you scheme away Kazuma! I can't believe I'm actually going to be battling a Dullahan! I can already feel his intense gaze all over me!"
"Ready or not adventurers, here I come!"
Darkness held firm as the general brought down his blade, cracking the ground below as she just barely managed to block it. Giving her three teammates time to create distance.
"Heh! I was a knight myself in my past life, I just knew it would be you to stand here and face me crusader!"
"Of course, I will never back down, because my friends need me!"
*Smash*
His blade was so big, that it doubled as a blunt weapon, Darkness' armor doing next to nothing to protect her as a side slice forced the air out of her and knocked her body into a nearby rock.
"Darkness!" Kazuma cried out.
Regardless, she stood up to tank another blow, and another.
"Your tenacity isn't half bad. For a human. Your loyalty is commendable, so I hope you feel honored by the death I'm about to give you."
"Tch, I will never give up! Not even as you rip my armor to shreds, unveiling my soft skin for all to see!"
"...okay?"
"I can already see your excitement, those nasty eyes just can't wait to fully break the rest of my armor off, you wanna humiliate and expose me don't you!?"
"...what!? What's wrong with this town, doesn't this place have any NORMAL people living in it!?"
Kazuma, Megumin and Aqua crouched together a fair distance away, using the bought time to plan things out.
"Okay so we play around your explosion Megumin. We just need to immobilize him somehow so that you can cast it accurately. It shouldn't kill him out right, but it should definitely leave him hurt enough for me to take his helmet. And THAT means victory."
"Great plan! I'll be back here cheering you guys on!"
"Yeah right goddess! We all have to play our part if we want to make this work."
"Well then how do we immobilize him?"
"Good question..maybe we can…"
Water
"Water!"
"Water?"
"It's his weakness, I think."
"Well looks like today is your lucky day! I am the goddess of water after all!"
"I can use create water too, so we blast him with all we got, and find the timing to get enough distance for Megumin to light his ass!"
Darkness was currently on her knees, sword still raised as the barrage of slashes suddenly stopped, and she became doused in water.
"Oi! What's that all about!? You're like ants coming out of the woodwork." the general complained.
"Ants with a hose! Create: Water!"
"That doesn't even make sense! Hey! Stop that!" Verdia bounced around and weaved as the boy and blue haired priest summoned barrages of water at him. While the boy's was easy to dodge, the priest could cast powerful torrents like nothing. How much mana did this girl have?
'Wait a minute, the water is slowly receding into the ground! Which means-'
"Megumin now!"
"But we haven't even hit him yet!"
"We just needed to immobilize him. Look around his feet, get my meaning?"
Aqua got the message clear and flashed a smile, closing her eyes and focusing at the ground.
Megumin didn't wait a beat before she started chanting, a wild gale of wind surging through and around her as magic began to condense above her staff.
"Hah! As if I'd let you cast that annoying spell!"
"Hey Dullahan! Your shoes are untied!" Kazuma shouted.
"Do you think mi stupid? I'm wearing plate boots! See?"
"Made you look."
Aqua rose her hands into the sky and Verdia felt a quake.
"Oh this cannot be go-" A geyser of underground spring water erupted point blank from below, caving in soon after into a messy, wet crater.
Verdia slowly but shakily got up to his feet, the effect of the water was obvious as he seemed completely drained of stamina.
"So you got me wet, you've only slowed the inevitable."
At that moment a pillar of light centered on him as titanic rings of magic took shape overhead.
"I hate this town."
"EXPLOOOOOO-SHUN!"
*BOOOOOM*
The explosion kicked up the settled debris and water once again, sending waves of dust and smoke into the surrounding area. Even the adventurers watching with awe could feel the air pressure just brush against their skin.
"That crazy team might actually pull it off!"
"Yeah, Kazuma is the leader's name!"
"We're all playing our part by standing way over here and guarding this gate!"
"Yeah!"
Kazuma waltzed into the crater victoriously. The image of the barely unliving Dullahan knocked to the ground and unable to move made him nearly drool at the thought of the reward money.
Kazuma looked back at his team, the torn to shreds Darkness, the graceful Aqua, and the paralyzed Megumin on Aqua's back.
'I can't believe it, maybe this team isn't so bad after all! Wait, can thoughts trip flags?...Imma take that as a no'
"Welp Verdia, imma just grab this and-"
*SHHHTCH*
The sickening sound of blade piercing flesh filled the air, and the body of the adventurer known as Satou Kazuma fell limp, his body hanging lifeless, still attached to the monstrous blade.
"Who! Huh?...oh. I'm back here…again."
'Wait, this doesn't look the same at all! This looks like some Victorian era mansion!'
"Apologies for the lack of distinct direction, until you are fully turned, my ability to communicate in that little head of yours leaves much to be desired." Spoke a rich, commanding voice.
"Wha-? Do I know you?" In front of him, on a dark wooden throne, sat a well dressed man with a perfectly kept goatee, and long locks of black hair. Safe to suffice this man could pass off as a noble or even a king.
"You wouldn't recognize me like this, for it's what I'm supposed to look like. Dignified. Powerful. Intimidating. Not some rat hiding in the alleyways. Begging for scraps like a peasant.
"Wait a minute, it's you isn't it! The one who bit me!"
"How observant."
"But if I'm here, I thought Aqua got rid of whatever you tried to do to me! Aren't Archpriest supposed to be strong enough to defeat vampires!? Oh am I gonna turn into a ghoul or something? Come on man leave me alone my life sucks already!"
"Silence. I have no interest in turning you into a ghoul, I have something far more up your alley. And on the note of our lady Aqua, her abilities, while suppressed in the mortal world are still to be feared, I am no mere Vampire."
"Wait, you know that Aqua- And what do you mean not a mere vampire?"
"I am Lord Sanguine, the most powerful Vampire to ever live…and as of today, so are you."